90 second

He was there again, waiting. It was stupid, but he kind of made me nervous. He was just waiting to take my seat for the next class. Still, he was in ninth grade and I was in seventh. I had never really been bullied, but this seemed like one of those situations where it should come up, if TV was anything to go by. Still, he hadn’t said a word but I could feel his eyes on me. Maybe this was how it was supposed to be. Changing classrooms was still new to me.

When I finished writing my last note I decided to play it safe. Tucking my notebook into my backpack, I smiled sheepishly and said, “Sorry for keeping you waiting.”

The teen shrugged. “It’s all right. You’re cute to look at anyways.”

I had already swung my backpack over my shoulder and was starting down the aisle when I heard those words and turned to look back at the teen in shock. Unfortunately, I hadn't stopped walking forward and clipped a desk. Quickly straightening it, I glanced back at the teen who was smiling. Jerk, I thought before hurrying to my next and last class of the day.

Sitting in a history class a few minutes later, I started thinking about what he said. “You’re cute to look at anyway.” That was a weird thing for one guy to say to another. He had to be teasing me. I tried to concentrate on the lesson but it was pretty boring. When you watch the History Channel a lot, you rarely learn anything new in a history class. At least it was the last class of the day.

I was just out of walking distance so first off the bus. I sat right behind the driver, sharing the seat with a girl who always seemed to be doing homework. I think her name was Shauna or Sarah. Like the last four days, she didn’t say a word to me so I didn’t say a word to her even when I got off the bus a few minutes later.

Thursday meant my mom was working and my brother had practice which meant I had the house to myself for at least two hours. Grabbing a pudding from the fridge along with a soda, I caught a reflection of myself in the kitchen window. It made me smile. The guy had to have been joking because no one could describe me as cute.

First, I was short thanks to Osteogenesis imperfecta. During the summer, my 10 year old cousin and I had been messing around under the bleachers at one of my brother’s tournaments. We got yelled at by someone. They had thought my cousin was the older one which would’ve been embarrassing if I wasn’t so used to it. My second major flaw was that I wore wireframe glasses. Beyond that, if you study group of nine-year-olds, I wouldn’t stand out. Skin color wise, I took a little more after my dad’s dark black then my mom’s lighter brown. I don’t think that helped or hurt my looks.

Retreating to the couch, I flipped through the recorded shows before selecting a guilty pleasure of mine. It was a stupid game show that I would never watch if anyone was around. I liked it because the contestants were sometimes my age and they had to wear these silver suits that I liked. They really didn’t show anything but I like to pretend they weren't wearing anything underneath them. It was enough to get me hard and my hand could do the rest.

Friday was much like Thursday. I usually don’t watch the clock, but in my English class that’s exactly what I was doing. Belatedly, I realized that I was looking forward to seeing him again. That was weird. I guess I decided he was a jerk, but maybe he was like me. That was interesting. I’ve known my orientation for a while, but as far as I knew I never met anyone who had shared it. Statistics weren’t on my side, at least not in my class. At least if you are using one of the more conservative estimates. However, if you threw in the entire school, there should be at least someone else.

When the class ended I didn’t have any notes to finish writing down so I just tried to pack up slowly but I didn’t want to look like I was lingering. By the time the last kid had left the classroom he slipped in just as I was swinging my backpack over my shoulder.  We passed each other going down different rows and I said, “No waiting today.”

“Nice.” I was just about to kick myself for my smooth operating when he said, “Hey.”

I stopped and looked over my shoulder suddenly scared. “Yeah?”

He smiled the same as yesterday. “I was only kidding. I’m a slow note taker too so don’t rush off if you have to finish something. I’m not weird.”

“Okay,” I didn’t correct him by saying I wasn’t a slow note taker, I was just thorough. “The lecture finished a little early so I didn’t have anything to write down.”

“Mr. Douglas finished a lecture early?” he sounded genuinely surprised. “He must be getting winded in his old age.”

I laughed. Mr. Douglas is one of those teachers who thought his subject was the most important one. “Yeah, I guess.” I waited for another few seconds, hoping he would say something, but it just grew awkward. So I said goodbye and he said goodbye. Maybe he wasn’t a jerk.

That night I asked my brother if he had last year’s yearbook.

“Why do you want it?” He gave me a weird look and I realized I hadn’t come up with a cover story.

“Clubs.” It was the first thing that came to my mind. “I was thinking about joining one.”

That caused him to look away from the PC game he was playing. I wasn’t a very social person. I had friends but they were school friends. We rarely met outside of school. “You might like the Gamers Club. I can’t think of any others that might interest you.”

“Still, can I look through it?”

He shrugged. “Mom keeps all that stuff, ask her.”

My mom was like me in that we had the same thing though different versions. She was in her room folding the laundry. I came in on the side she doesn’t hear too well on so I circled in front of her. I gave her the same story and then started to feel guilty. Both of my parents thought I should get out more and I didn’t want to give them false hope of that happening.  I liked the way I was.

She had a plastic bin in the closet that had some of our school stuff. I always wondered where that stuff went. I took the last two years of my brother’s yearbooks and retreated to my room saying I would put them back when I was done. My brother was in 11^th grade this year which meant he would be in the 10^th in the last year’s book.

The guy who called me cute would be in the eighth grade so I flipped to the class lineup. It covered two pages. I thought I would recognize his face, but I first overlooked it before doing a double take. When I saw him earlier he had shaggy hair, but last year he had been doing that spiked thing that probably required a gob of hair gel every day. I looked across to see his name, Brian McDonald.

That was a little weird. My last name started with a T but we shared the same seat. I guess not every teacher did the seating chart in alphabetical order. I studied him a little while longer but I don’t know why. Was I just looking for something that screened gay? If so, I didn’t find it. He wasn’t bad looking though. If we were in the same class I would be looking at him from the corner of my eye. Going to the other Yearbook I looked up the seventh grade. He had the same spiked hair, wonder why he changed it.

I started to wonder what that spiked hair might feel like. I imagined padding him on the head, feeling the stiff hairs. Then my imagination started to take over. I imagined myself sitting on the floor naked leaning against my bed with my legs spread and Brian’s head between them. I imagined his mouth going up and down on my erection with that spiky hair brushing up against my stomach. By now, I was stroking myself through my loose shorts. I kept that image of the Brian’s spiked hair and bobbing head trying to imagine what it would really feel like. I changed the fantasy as I started to feel my orgasm approach. I imagined being picked up and then impaled on Brian’s hard dick. That was what pushed me over the edge as relief washed over me.

Coming down from my orgasm, I felt a little guilty. I made a little mess in my pants and I still had both of my brother’s yearbooks out in front of me. I didn’t make a lot of stuff, but it was enough to be noticed. Standing, I switched into a pair of yesterday’s boxers. Both of my parents were computer savvy and I never had been able to get around their parental locks. Actually, I don't think I would really have the guts to look up gay porn. Literature was something a little different.

There was a website I had been going to since I was young that allowed people to post stories. Surprisingly, there was a lot of gay stuff, or yaoi, as it was usually called in the sections I went into. It was there where I got most of my ideas about sex. I was not sure how accurate those stories were however. Frequently, the guy who was being penetrated was like a girl. I could be a lot of things but a girl was not one of them. I liked being a boy. When I had started reading stories about a year ago they did worry me a little but then I found out they were mostly written by teenage girls, which was just weird. Still, it was all I had.

Absentmindedly, I flipped through the rest of the year book, thinking I should look up those clubs just to be sure. There were all the ones I had expected to be there, Wrestling which my brother was in, Football, Baseball and Soccer and Girls Volleyball. There was the Honor Society which I had heard of, but didn’t understand what they did. The Eco-Society sounded like a lot of glorified garbage picking up, and as for the Newspaper, I hadn’t even been aware of its existence. The Outdoor Club held no interest for me and neither did Computer Club. The last club peaked my interest for two reasons. It was the Gamer Club which my brother told me about. The photo had only about a dozen kids in it, one of which was Brian.

I could join the club and get to know him that way. Maybe. I closed the books and put them on the desk in my room. I was scared. Yeah, he had called me cute, but he also said he was joking, not to mention the idea of joining a club wasn’t appealing. Still.

My brother didn’t know much about the Gamer Club other than that they played video games. It wasn’t until Sunday that I remembered my school had a website, unfortunately, when I looked it up, I found it didn't have any information on that club. It wasn't even listed.  When Monday morning rolled around I asked my friends if they were thinking of joining any clubs and just got the answers I was expecting. Two of them were going to go to the next open mats to try out wrestling while Martin reminded me that he had already joined the band on his parent’s insistence.

During lunch, I checked the boards that held announcements. There were sign-ups for most of the clubs but the Gamer Club was not among them. Screwing up my courage, I decided ask Brian about it, but he never showed. I lingered as long as I dared, but had to run off to my next class. The next day was a repeat. Wednesday, he slipped in right after the first bell and I was still taking notes.

“Your back,” I commented once he settled in his usual spot.

“Yeah, I had some sort of flu or something. Ruined my weekend and now I'm getting back work from every class. It's such a pain.”

“Well you have to do it.” I winced as soon as I said the words. I'm such a dork. Brian made a sound of disagreement and I scurried out of there before I said anything. It wasn't until history class that I realized I hadn't asked about the club. Yeah, I'm king of the dorks.

The next day was hot even in the morning. I was going to run away as soon as the bell rang, but Brian walked in before I could reach the door and we both stopped and stared at each other. He was wearing shorts. Suddenly, I wanted to run my fingers up his smooth legs, feeling his well defined calf muscles.

“Nice sandals.”

The words snapped me out of my increasingly perverted private world. “What?”

“Your sandals, they look good on you. They are called sandals right?”

Looking down I saw my toes sticking out from my sandals. “Yeah.”

“They look good on you.”

I didn't know what to say to that so just muttered something.

“You're in a rush today,” Brian said.

“Yeah.” I tried to add something, but my brain was freezing, although another part of my body wasn't having a similar problem. At least I had the forethought to lean forward a little and was thankful for wearing a long shirt.

“Okay.”

He stepped aside and I ran for it. Stepping through the doorway I spared a glance back and saw Brian was still looking at me.

I had no idea what was going on in the next class. My thoughts kept circling around the fact that Brian liked my sandals and had commented on them. Straight boys only did that for girls, right? I really didn't know. Also, why had he been looking at me? Did he really think I was cute like he had said? Was it the bad type of cute? The ones that my mother's friends called me or the type of cute that made him think of me? Was he masturbating to thoughts of me? Then, the teacher called on me and I apologized for not paying attention. That was embarrassing and I tried to pay attention to the rest of the lecture, which I probably could've delivered better myself.

My dad was in rare form later that night. Ranting on some stupid decision Washington had made or was threatening to make. I don't like politics probably because, since I was old enough to understand, my dad insisted they were all scum sucking bottom feeding opportunists who only cared about their own self advancement. My dad proudly boasted that he had not voted since he was 18, saying there wasn't a candidate worth it. Why he was still surprised at how low they could sink is beyond me.

I excused myself to take a shower. My brother took one every day before school; I wasn't in the habit yet. The bathroom was designed so the sinks were in one area and the toilet and shower were in another. The showerhead had one glass door and one was a mirror. After stripping off my clothes, I found myself standing in front of it. I tried to look at myself as if I had never seen me before. Was I really attractive?

No, I decided. It wasn't just that I was short, although, now that I thought about it, he had to be at least a foot taller than me. I wasn't really scrawny and I wasn't really fat. I had a little bit of a belly, but it was only really noticeable when I stood to show off my profile. I tried to look at my butt but couldn't decide if it was a bubble butt or not. I never quite understood that even though I had read it a couple of times. Brian couldn't be thinking like that even if he was like me. So, was he just teasing me?

What I wanted and what I thought were two different things. They were in my mind so much that I didn't even jerk off in the shower although it was the best time for it. By the time I had worked the problem around so many times that my head hurt I had decided I needed more information and that meant joining the club. I needed more interaction with him. Going to sleep that night I realized I was attacking this problem like it was a scientific theory. Needing evidence to draw conclusions and not simply following my heart like in those stories. Maybe that was how most people did things and I was just a geek.

Friday turned out to be a day of contradictions. Leading up to English, time seemed to simultaneously fly and crawl by. I wanted it to arrive and I didn't want it to arrive. Even one of my friends asked if I was okay at lunch.

English class was the worst. I hated the book we were supposed to be reading and looking at sentence structure was just boring. It was more than the usual effort to take notes and pay attention, but I tried to distract myself with it. Then the bell rang and it was time. Staying at my desk, I waited for him to take his usual spot and asked, “Do you know about the Gamer Club?”

There was a moment of silence and I wondered if maybe I had only said the words in my head when he answered. “Where did you hear about the Gamer Club?”

“My brother told me about it. Well he told me it existed and that I should look into it. You're the only other older kid I know.” The last sentence I regretted instantly. I made it sound like we were friends instead of just two random students who shared the same seat.

“Yeah, well, it got disbanded last year so it doesn't exist anymore.”

That took a few seconds to sink in and when it did I said, “Oh.” I didn't know what to say. So I just got my stuff ready when he called out.

“Some of us still get together at my house. You can come, if you want.”

I bit my lip hesitating. The room was starting to fill up so I turned to him. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah,” Brian pursed his lips. “What's your next class?”

“History with Mrs. Bertram.”

“I had her. Listen, I'll meet you outside of the classroom and we can talk then, okay?”

I nodded; not trusting myself to speak before running off to my next class. We had a substitute teacher who just told us to get reading on our homework. I must've stared at the same page for the entire class not seeing a word. Running fingers through my shortly cropped hair, I wondered for the first time if that made me look good or not. My mom had always made that decision. I probably should keep letting her decide since I had no idea what would make me look good or not. Well, besides sandals. At least Brian liked those on me.

The bell rang, ending another week of school. Standing in front of the classroom, I felt like my stomach was doing somersaults. Then I saw him weaving through the crowd of mostly smaller students. Yeah, he was definitely more than a foot taller than me.

“Hey,” he smiled, showing off white teeth, and held out his hand. “Here's my number. Give me a call when you got the time.” Looking down, I saw the paper and automatically took it and he was gone before I could say thank you.

I thumbed that piece of paper all the way home. It was a safe assumption that Brian had a longer bus ride home then me, so I waited a little longer and then a little more. Calling people was not something I liked to do. The fear that I would dial wrong or that someone else other than who I was trying to reach would pick up was enough to make me nervous. Taking the piece of paper out of my pocket again, I stared at it. Seven digits, not that long and I had a perfectly legitimate reason for calling.

Deciding to just go for it I took a cordless phone into my room and dialed the numbers one after another. Three rings later someone picked up.

“Hello,” an unfamiliar voice said.

“Is Brian there?” I tried to say calmly.

“Speaking,” there was a moment of silence. “You're the kid right? In Mr. Douglas’ class?”

“Yeah,” I said slowly.

“Did I ever tell you my name?” He asked curiously.

For a second I froze. “I looked it up in a yearbook. You’re in the Gamer Club picture from last year and my brother has that book, so yeah.” That didn't sound too stalker-ish, I hoped.

“Oh, that makes sense. I was afraid you told me your name and I forgot it. Um, what is your name?”

“Jay,” I started to relax. Things were going well.

“Okay, so, like I said earlier, the Gamers Club was disbanded last year. Some people were complaining that we aren't actually a club since we didn't do anything, but that's not true. We played video games and not just the new ones, but the older ones too. Anyway, a couple of us didn't really like that and we get together at my house occasionally to, you know, do the same things. We're getting together Saturday so why don't you come over and see if you would like to join. I mean, it's not really official anymore, but it's still fun.”

“I'll ask my mom if I can. What time and where do you live?”

I wrote the details down and that was the end of it. To my parents credit, they played it casually when I said I wanted to meet a friend Saturday. My dad added on the caveat that I had my homework done before I could go, but that had been finished when I was procrastinating on the phone call. I called him again just to say I was coming and got his mom. That was a quick conversation. Before going to sleep that night I jerked off to a fantasy of Brian and me.

I showered the next day early in the morning and this time I jerked off, but not to thinking about Brian. It was more of a preventative action. I put on a T-shirt and shorts that barely covered my knees and then sat around and waited on the couch watching TV. My brother sneaked up on me and tapped me on the head, startling me.

I glared at him.

“Cartoon that interesting?” He asked, hopping over the couch to join me.

“You can change it,” I said handing him the remote.

“I'm fine,” he waved it off. “Are you okay?”

“Why are you asking?”

“Mike and Jeff came to open mats yesterday. They said you were spacey yesterday and you didn't seem to be paying much attention to anything. Then you ask to go to a friend’s house and that got me to thinking,” he grinned and I knew I wasn't going to like what he was about to say. “I think you got a crush on someone and this friend of yours is actually a girl. Maybe her parents aren't home today.”

I wanted to sink through the couch mostly because he was closer to the mark than I cared to admit. “Shut up. It's that Gamers Club thing you told me about. It's not a club anymore but they still get together and said I could come over and see if I wanted to join.”

My brother looked at me and I could just feel him cutting through every layer of deception. Then he smirked. “So, are there any girls at this get together? You know, I've heard a couple think you're cute.”

“I'm not the type of cute girls would date.”

My brother just shrugged at that. “So are they older than you?”

“Probably,” I said turning back to the TV.

“If they give you any shit; point them out to me.”

That brought a smile to my face. My brother was my brother. He could tease me, but no one else could.

My mom said we had to get going a few minutes later, the ten minute drive to Brian's house was done in complete silence. We turned down a gravel covered road that had only two houses on it and my mom stopped at the furthest one back. It had one of those huge out buildings that looked like half a tin can in the back. When we pulled into the driveway, my mom gave me a one armed hug.

“Have fun and call when you're ready to be picked up.”

I nodded and smiled back. “I will.”

There were two doors so I chose the closest one and rang the doorbell. I heard the doorbell go off inside, but it seemed to take a long time for someone to arrive. My mom had time to turnaround and was clearly loitering to make sure I got into the house by the time the door opened to reveal  a smiling Brian. Behind me, I heard my mom pull out of the driveway.

“Jay, you're on time.” He cracked open the outer door to let me in.

“Well, yeah.” I suddenly wondered if this was one of those things where you're supposed to show up later or something.

The room I stepped into was a mudroom that clearly had an area for shoes to go and I was wearing my sandals. Unsure of what to do, I just stood there for what felt like several minutes but could've only been a few seconds because Brian said, “You can put your sandals over there. My mom doesn't like shoes in the house.”

I quickly saw why when he led me through the next room. The carpets were thick and

looked very clean. I followed him almost like a puppy through the one-room and then down one hallway. He opened the door and said, “The game rooms in the basement.”

I was going to ask what he meant by that but he was already heading downstairs and I started after him. There was a single light at the bottom of the stairs but the rest of the room was dark and I could only make out a few shapes of a couch and a table or two. Brian was grinning from ear to ear.

“What?” I was beginning to feel nervous.

“You really like videogames, right?”

I nodded and he flipped the light on.

What I saw was hard to take in. The basement was finished and had a long curving couch with a coffee table in front of it. What really held my attention though were the shelves. They lined the wall and were packed with what seemed like every videogame ever made. There were hundreds, maybe thousands. Almost unconsciously, I walked further into the room to see more, and although the game started in the familiar white of Wii, green of Xbox and the black of PlayStation, they became different. Some were shining blue or white and others became boxlike with some even in paper containers. I realize these were older games from older videogame systems.

I stared around in awe, and when my eyes landed on an old arcade system, it barely registered. There was just so much. There was one long, curvy couch facing two TVs. A 50 inch on the wall that had several of the newer systems hooked up to it and a smaller one that had older systems connected to it. The only non-videogame source of entertainment was an air hockey table that was set back under the stairs.

I turned back around to face Brian, who was smiling broadly. “You like?”

“It's amazing. I mean, how did you get all of these? I don't even recognize some of the cases. They're all games, right?”

“Mostly thanks to my parents, and yeah, everything on the shelves are videogames and a lot of them are older than I am.”

“Your parents must like video games to keep them all.” I turned to look at the room again, still astonished at the variety.

“Actually,” Brian started, “this is mostly overflow. You see, my parents run an Internet store that sells current and retro games. If you think this is impressive, you should see what we have in the main building.”

“Retro?” I had heard the word before, but not referring to video games.

“Yeah, people want to buy older games sometimes. I think it's mostly stuff from when they were a kid, playing their favorite game again. I mean, take the PlayStation one,” he gestured over to a spot on the game-shelf on that looked like a bunch of CDs. “Most of those will be able to sell for a few bucks or less, but a Resident Evil game or Final Fantasy game those will sell for a little more. Sega CD and Sega Saturn weren't around for that long so those games usually sell between 10 and 15 bucks. As for the original Nintendo, well, those are iffy, anywhere between a dollar and more than the original price.”

“You can run a business doing that? I didn't think there would be enough people.” I realized it had come out wrong as soon as I said it.

“Yeah, it's a fairly cheap hobby so even in this bad economy we're still doing okay.” Brian's tone had flattened. “Some people buy them because they related to games when they were younger or just a game that held up over time.”

“Like Panzer Dragoon?” For a second, I held my breath wondering if I got the name wrong. It was the oldest game I could think of and that was because I had heard someone talking about it on TV.

“Yeah, exactly like that. That came out for the Sega Saturn back in 1995 and was considered the best the system produced. Personally,” that began my crash course in videogame history. At first, I wasn't really interested, but it was obviously important to Brian and I liked when he smiled at me. As I listened, though, I started to get swept up in his lecture as companies like Nintendo, Sega and the newbie Microsoft seemed to be like battling armies. I don't know if it was because Brian was telling me all this or I was actually becoming interested, but when he got around to describing why Sega had dropped out of the console wars we both heard several people clattering down the stairs.

A tall boy landed at the bottom of the stairs took in the situation and shouted back up, “He's in lecture mode!”

There was an audible gagging sound and then a much smaller boy emerged with his fingers crossed like fending off a vampire. He was quickly followed by a dark-haired girl who gave the boy a slap on the back of the head. This caused Brian and the taller boy to laugh. I had a cold hand gripping my gut, suddenly nervous.

“Who's he?” The one who got smacked asked.

“Jay,” Brian said, making introductions. “Jay, this is Mark,” the boy who got smacked nodded, “his sister Julie, they're twins, and Eddie, not Ed.”

“How old are you nine, ten?” Mark asked, getting slapped again by his sister.

I was saved from answering by Brian. “He's in the seventh grade. Be nice, I'm trying to get him to join our little group.”

“Even if we have five members I don't think the school will reinstate us as a club,” Julie said, moving over to the couch and plopping down.

“Doesn't mean I wouldn't like more people here.” Brian said, walking over to one of the consoles to turn it on.

“Now that just hurts my feelings,” Eddie said in a mocking tone. “Damn, I hate that bitch.”

“She's not that bad,” Julie said before explaining to me, “He’s talking about Mrs. Lewinsky, our health teacher. She's very sensitive. You'll have her next year.”

I nodded, already feeling out of place. The three newcomers had already taken seats, and while I would like to sit next to Brian, I wasn't sure where he would be sitting.

“We're starting the Yakuza series today,” Brian announced. “The first game was described as having a better story than game play. It was also described as Grand Theft Auto like, only much more linear.”

As Brian talked he went back with the remote and sat between the two boys. I picked to sit on the edge of the couch and pulled my knees up to my chest. I wasn't sure what I was expecting, but it wasn't what I got. The game was single player which meant one person was playing while everyone else watched. The story was good though. A young Yakuza took responsibility for killing someone his friend did and spent 10 years in prison. When he got out, his friend had moved up the organization and seemed to want him killed for what he knew. Every so often, the controller was tossed from person to person so we all got to play for a while. It was a different way of playing a game than I was used to.

The talk was mostly about the game and that was something I could join in on. It was a PlayStation 2 game so the graphics weren't what I was really used to, but the story made up for it. There was also a bizarre scene where a cross-dressing stripper tries to kill you with a shotgun which was unique in my experience.

Time passed. When the character we were playing as walked into a bar to find everyone already dead except for one little girl Julie received a text. I didn't think anything of it until she said. “Guys, we got to go. Our ride is almost here.”

There were several moans, followed by Mark saying, “All right, save it so we can go.”

I felt sweat prickle on the back of my neck. “You're all going?”

“Yeah,” Mark said. “It's a church thing. Our parents volunteered us to help set up for this craft thing. It raises money for the pantry or something.”

“You know, I blame your parents for getting my parents to start caring,” Eddie said sitting up and stretching. “It's really affecting me.”

“I'm not going,” Brian said. “Jay, you don't have to go, but we just can't play the game until the whole group's back together tomorrow. That is, if you can make it and you want too.”

All eyes fell on me. I hated when that happened. Being the center of attention, whether it was in front of a class or a small group, was unpleasant. “I think I can make it.”

“Do you want to call your mom or stick around for a little while longer?” Brian asked and my wishful thinking added a pleading tone.

I hesitated. Was he just trying to be nice or what? “I don't have to be home anytime soon.”

Brian smiled, showing his teeth. “Great!”

The next few minutes were awkward. The others were getting ready to go and I was beginning to feel a bit scared. I desperately wanted to believe Brian liked me, but I had no idea exactly how to find that out now that I was here. Then, Mark received a text message and they all headed upstairs, including Brian. At a loss what to do, I just stayed on the couch.

About a minute later, Brian shouted down the stairs. “Jay, you want something to drink?”

I picked from the list he listed and picked my favorite. When he came back downstairs he had two cans and I was happy to see they were both the same. “Thanks.”

“No problem. So, what do you think?” Brian asked handing a the can.

“What? Oh, the club. It seems nice. I wish it was still a school thing so I could join.”

Brian laughed. “Yeah, my sister was a lot better at it than I am. She started the club and has a real knack for keeping people interested. When she graduated, it sort of fell to me and I guess I messed up. Of course, the advantage now is all you have to do is show up. We'll probably only meet once a week when school gets really going.”

“It was kind of fun. Most people skip the cutscenes, but you guys didn't. I can't watch my brother play because he always skips that stuff.”

“Yeah, a lot of people do that,” Brian said moving to sit on the couch.

“Well, I like them when the story is good. Sometimes it sucks.” I sat next to him on the couch but felt the conversation was dying.

“Yeah,” Brian said noncommittally. There was a moment of silence before he said, “Sorry for hitting on you. Glad it didn't scare you off.” I was swallowing when he said that last part and it went down the wrong way. I started coughing and he patted me on the back and asked, “You okay?”

My eyes were watering a little when I looked up at him. “You were hitting on me?”

Brian looked a little sheepish. “You didn't notice? I'm sorry. Listen, it was my mistake, I'm not going to do it again, you’re not interested, so I'm sorry.”

I was still trying to wrap my head around the fact that not only was Brian saying sorry he had hit on me and thought I'd known about it. How could he be so open about it? Then, the second part of the statement drove home and I blurted out, “I am interested.”

The silence that followed couldn’t have lasted the hour I thought it did because Brian was staring at me and then he was smiling again. “Gay or Bi?”

“Gay, you?” By now my head was spinning and I briefly wondered if this wasn't one of my more surreal fantasies.

“Gay, sorry I thought you knew that. And here I thought I was just misreading your signals.”

“Want?” That came out a little higher pitch than I wanted it to be.

“What, what? The gay thing or the signal thing?”

“Both,” I pleaded.

Brian just shrugged. “I thought everyone knew by now. It's not like I hide it, but it's not like I blurt it out to everyone either. Guess I shouldn't have thought you knew.” He shrugged. “As for the signals, well,” he gestured down towards my bare feet.

I looked down. I had started wearing sandals more after Brian had commented they looked good on me. In hindsight, I guess it was being pretty obvious. “Is that it?”

For once, Brian seemed a little uncomfortable as he shifted back and forth. “Well, there was something that gave me a little hope. It's kind of stupid, but I read this online and there seems to be some evidence to back it up.”

I stayed silent feeling a bit uneasy. Was there something about me that screened gay?

Brian sighed, “It's your finger length.”

“My fingers?” I looked at my hand.

“Yeah,” Brian grabbed my hand which sent a little thrill through me. “There have been a few studies that indicate if your ring finger and your index finger are the same length you're more likely to be gay. It's not a sure thing, but I noticed it when you were writing, and, well, figured I'd give you a try. Well, it helped that you’re cute.”

Brian was still holding onto my hand and I really didn't feel like pulling it away. “You think I'm cute?”

“I said it. What do you think of me?”

For the first time, I really looked at him. All right, I had looked at him before, but this time I could really study him instead of a picture. His hair was blonde and his skin was tanned. Brian had thin lips and clear green eyes. “Yeah, I like the way you look.”

“Well, if we both think the other is good-looking and we seem to get along, I think we should date.”

Up until that moment, I didn't really feel the situation was real. A cute boy saying I was cute was the stuff I dreamed of. It wasn't supposed to happen though. “I,” trailed off. Brian waited as I looked down. My eyes settling on the couch. “Like, would people have to know?”

Brian was quiet for a second and I was sure I had really stepped in it when he finally broke his silence. “I guess not. I mean, I think most people know about me. No one really cares, but, you know, if you're comfortable that way, sure.”

“Yeah, I would like it that way.” I hesitated and then looked up at him again and asked, “Like how long have you known? You know.”

“That I like guys?” He shrugged. “As long as I can remember. Even when I was younger I would have crushes on boys instead of girls. My first boyfriend was about a year ago and, well, he moved away. We said we would stay in contact online and stuff but it's been a while since I've heard from him and he's dating someone else anyways.”

“Sorry,” I offered.

Brian waved it off. “Don't be. You're like 10 times better looking than he is anyways. So, what is your story?”

This time it was my turn to shrug. “I like guys. I don't know. When I was younger sometimes I would want to be close to another boy and maybe I it was a crush, I don't know.”

Brian waited for me to add more, but with my silence he moved on. “I probably should mention that I sort of noticed you before.”

I frowned at that. “When?”

“Back when we were both in elementary school. You kind of standout.”

“Because I'm short,” I supplied.

Brian nodded. “For a while, I thought you were one of those genius kids that skipped ahead a few grades.”

“No, I'm just short.”I hesitated and then started to explain about my condition. Brian sat quietly and listened as I told him about my brittle bones. I told him about the time I had smashed my toes against the coffee table and broke two of them. I told him a lot. I usually don't tell people that much, but I figured he already knew my biggest secret so he might as will hear them all.

He ended up doing as much talking as I did, and when his mom called down nearly 3 hours had passed. It was weird. I had never lost track of time like that before. When I said I had to go he leaned in and kissed me. Having never been kissed before, I ended up laughing nervously which was embarrassing. Then again, he laughed too so it wasn't so bad.

That was my first visit to the unofficial Gamers Club and not my last. I went every weekend and Brian and I talked online most nights. We also had about 90 seconds every day between classes where we either carried on or had an abbreviated conversation. As it turned out we had a lot more than just video games in common. We both liked science fiction and we both enjoyed swimming.

Then Christmas break, or winter break, or whatever the hell you want to call it as my dad would say, came around. Brian asked me to spend the night the first day of the break. It wasn't just going to be a sleepover though. We had limited sex stuff to cyber sex and had not gone past kissing in real life. I was a little scared, but more excited.

As I packed my bags my biggest concern was whether I should bring pajamas or not. My mom had just bought me a pair and they were a bit big on me. That wasn't what was worrying me though. There was a small part of me that was always worried about screwing things up with Brian.  I decided to pack them and just wait for him to decide whether we should change or just wear our boxers.

My mom dropped me off and I had pizza with Brian's family. I liked his family. His mom didn't mind running the two of us around. I had been to the YMCA pool more often in the last few months then I had been all last year. They didn't mind driving us to the mall either. I guess being able to do stuff like that was an advantage working for yourself. They didn't have to be anywhere as long as they got their daily shipments out on time.

 When I polished off my third and final piece, I had a bizarre realization. Brian's parents knew about him, but true to his word he had not mentioned a thing about me being anything other than a friend. Did they suspect at all? Did they think it was strange that Brian’s best friend seemed to be a younger kid? They would have to say something if they did, right?

Brian and I retreated downstairs after dinner and this time, when I flipped the lights on, I laughed nervously. “What if your mom sees this?

“She helped me inflate the thing.” Brian said proudly.

I looked at the inflatable mattress with some trepidation. “You didn't, I mean.”

Brian's laugh cut through me. “Jay, sometimes you're too easy. My parents are pretty cool, but not that cool. As far as they're concerned, you're just a friend.”

I relaxed, but preferred to sit on the couch for now. We started with Madden. I couldn’t play real football, but that didn't stop me from kicking Brian’s ass in the game. After two games I sat back and watched him play one of the older Resident Evil games. Brian hadn't gotten me as deeply into retro gaming as he was, but I didn't mind.

Brian was fighting a shark when his mother came down the stairs. “Alright you two. Where heading off to bed now. You two can go into the kitchen, but Brian, if you want to change into your pajamas do it now.”

“Sure,” Brian said sliding off the mattress. “You should get ready too, Jay.”

I smiled, happy that the situation had been quietly dealt with. Going into my bag, I pulled out my dark blue pajamas and headed for the bathroom. Once I started taking off my clothes it hit home what I was going to do. I was going to have sex. All my fantasies and the cyber stuff, it was going to happen tonight. It was exciting and terrifying. Briefly, I wondered if I should just go out there naked, but while I might've said I did that online it would be too embarrassing to actually do. Stepping back into the main room, I sat on the couch staring at the mattress.

It felt like an hour before Brian came back down the stairs in plaid pajamas. His looked a bit tight, I could see his ankles compared to mine which covered most of my foot. Then I noticed something in his hand. “What's that?”

He held  a tube of something up. “Lubricant. Supposedly it's the best, or at least the best sold at the drugstore.”

I buried my head in my knees and whimpered. “Why did you do that?”

Brian moved silently and sat on the couch next to me and placed a hand on my back. “Jay, sorry. I just assumed you wanted to do anal. I mean, you always suggest it when we do stuff online.”

Despite myself, I smiled and turned my head so I could see him. “I do, it's just, what did they think?”

“That I was going to get me some hot boy ass?” Brian deadpanned.

This time I laughed and pushed him away. I was a bit more comfortable with the whole gay thing, but I still didn't want anyone to know about it. I kind of envied Brian casualness. “You really like my butt?”

“Yeah, it goes well with the rest of you.”

Smiling, I stood up and grabbed his collar, giving it a tug. It wasn't strong but Brian took the hint and moved over to the mattress. Brian twisted around on the mattress and I moved to stand in front of him. I was nervous. I was also becoming hard. Turning my back on Brian, I started to undo the button holding my pants up. Taking one last deep breath, I let them fall.

My pants fell silently and I stepped out of them by spinning around. Even though I wasn't wearing pants my privates were not on display because of the long shirt. Smiling nervously, I started to undo the buttons on my shirt and Brian's eyes lingered on each inch of flesh as it was exposed. The lower I went the more nervous I became. Right before I was about to do the last two buttons I turned back around to a groan from Brian which made me smile.

Finishing unbuttoning my shirt, I shrugged it off and leaned forward to stick my butt out a little. “You like?”

There was a second of silence and then Brian asked. “Jay, have you been watching stripper videos or something?”

“Romance movies,” I corrected, slowly turning back around. Brian eyed my front, and judging by his lump, he liked what he saw.

Walking towards him, I had the entire migrating population of the monarch butterflies fluttering around in my stomach. I wasn't scared, I was emboldened. Then I was standing in front of Brian, and for once, looking down on him. We kissed and Brian pulled me close to him. I felt his large hands start to travel down my back. They came to rest on my butt. He squeezed my cheeks, sending a shiver up my spine.

I started to fumble at his buttons but he let go of my butt and started to undo them himself. Taking a step back to watch him, I noticed that his dick was partially sticking out of his pajama bottoms. It was bigger then mine and the light was hitting just so that I could see the pre-cum. In my fantasies, I had imagined sucking on Brian and being sucked so many times. Now here it was.

Licking my lips, I knelt down. Grabbing the shaft with one hand, I slipped it into my mouth. It was warm and hard, but it was soft too. When I pushed my tongue against it, it gave a little and I heard Brian gasp. I moved up and down a few times and decided pre-cum didn't have a taste to it. There was a smell sort of. It was something nice and arousing, just on the tip of my subconscious. I wondered what Brian would think if I buried my nose in his pubic hair.

“Jay.” Brian’s tone was strained. Suddenly, I was worried I did something wrong and pulled back to look up at him. “Jay, I really want your ass. If you did that much longer... ” he trailed off.

It was a line straight from one of our online sessions. I liked hearing it. Crawling onto the bed, I twisted around so I could see him. Brian stood and dropped his pajama bottoms with no fanfare. His erection was sticking straight out and I guessed he was maybe 5 inches. My anus twitched knowing it was about to be penetrated as he started to crawl towards me.

I got was scared. I raised my foot and planted it against his chest to stop his advance. The contrast of my dark skin against his pale skin was pleasant somehow.

“What's wrong?”

I hesitated, unsure how to answer him. “You remember, bone thing?”

“Of course.” Brian answered, looking confused.

Nodding, I began to drop my foot. It was a stupid worry. Brian worried about that even when we were doing stuff online. Not that I want to risk breaking a bone. It would be pretty hard to explain.

Brian caught my foot before it could hit the mattress and raised it to his mouth. He kissed the sole of my foot as a hand started to rub up and down my calf. I didn't quite get Brian's obsession with my feet, but showing them off made him happy. As his lips moved up my foot I squirmed a little before my big toe disappeared into his mouth.

I laughed. “Stop that!”

Brian did, but very slowly, almost reluctantly. His hands slowly moved up to my thigh before gently massaging up and down. “I'm going to find some weird fetish of yours one of these days,” Brian told me with a grin.

The word was something Brian had taught me. He told me that the foot fetish thing is pretty common, but there were others. Some kind of made sense, like being tied, but others were just weird. Who could get off to a car? “Don't have any.”

“No, we just haven't found it yet,” Brian said as his hand slipped from my thigh to my testicles. I closed my eyes as his fingers roamed around, feeling one of my balls and then the other. His finger squeezed them for a second. I inhaled sharply as his thumb and forefinger migrated to my shaft. His grip was a little tighter than mine would be, and very slowly it started to go up and down. It felt nice even before his middle finger started to stroke my balls.

I arched my back just as something warm and wet wrapped around my member. Cracking an eye open I saw Brian’s blonde head move on my erection. I could feel his tongue wrapped around my member almost like a python. It didn't feel like what my imagination had produced.  It was different, but in a pleasant way. There were so many things, my mind couldn't concentrate on any one detail but just the overall sensation. Then his head was off from my erection, and just before letting it go, he kissed the tip of my head.

My hard shaft thumped back against my stomach as Brian moved to kiss my balls before he start to give them a tongue bath. He popped one of my balls in his mouth before letting it go and move on to the other. He did a figure eight between the two of them and I could feel my hands and toes clench as I tried not to move.

As quickly as he had started, Brian stopped. One of his hands slipped under my butt and slowly he started to turn me over onto my stomach. Both of his hands went to my thighs and gently started to move up to caress my butt. His spread my cheeks and I could feel the air mattress shift little as he leaned forward onto his elbows, careful not to put any weight on me.

He blew into my hole. It made me smile and remember the pool. We would hang out by the water jets, and when the lifeguards weren't looking, we would drop our trunks a little and let the water push against our anuses and balls. His breath wasn't as  strong, but the water was a bit too rough for me.

He moved to one side and began to creep up towards me, leaving one hand behind to keep my cheeks spread. It felt nice, but not as nice as when I felt Brian kneel down next to me and whisper into my ear. “You okay?”

“Yeah, I tried to clean back there.” There was probably something worse I could've said at that moment, but I couldn't think of it.

Brian ignored it and his lips landed on my shoulder to give me a feather light kiss. It made me squirm a little as he placed another one between my shoulders. Then I felt something slippery around my hole. He stretched my hole a little too one side and that felt good. His fingers swirled around the hole before probing a little deeper. Unconsciously, I clenched my cheeks but he slipped out without a problem.

I could feel him repositioning himself and I knew what was coming next even before he said, “I'm going to put it in.” That line I must've seen it a dozen times online, but when it was spoken it was so different. This was real and so much better than just jerking off by myself as I read his text online.

 The moment I felt his tip slipping between my cheeks I stiffened up. “Relax, Jay.” I could feel his hands start to massage my butt and slowly I did.

He started to push past my ring and there was a moment of, if not pain, slight discomfort, but it lasted for only an instant. It felt completely different than anything I had felt before. Then he stopped pushing into me. I didn't think he was in all away, but I felt full in a way I had never felt before. Then he started to pull back and that felt good too but I wanted that full feeling again.

Brian pushed in and out of me. I greeted every intrusion and mourned every retreat. It was weird and I really couldn't explain it. My hand slipped under myself and I started to stroke myself as Brian increased his speed. I kept pushing back against him hoping he would stay in just a little longer.

The pressure in my balls built until they felt like they were boiling and I exploded. My orgasm stretched from my crotch to the tips of my toes as I arched my back and let out a cry. My anus tightened and Brian's next three thrusts became stronger before, with one last thrust, he pushed deep into me as he cumed into my ass.

I collapsed. Brian was more careful, he had to be, as he laid down next to me. We were both panting and I had my eyes closed. When his lips pressed against my neck it caught me completely offguard and it took me a second to respond. I broke the kiss by pulling my head back and looked at his flushed face. It was beautiful.