The Only Girl

The Only Girl



I’m the only girl in my parent’s brood of four children. I’m also the youngest. My oldest brother whose name is Mike, is eight years older than me and he started using me first. That sounds sinister, using me, but it wasn’t, not entirely. Mike wasn’t a wicked boy, just a hormonal one and who lacked adequate supervision, we all did.

We lived four miles from Norton a small city in northern Kansas less than a hundred miles from the Kansas/Nebraska boarder, on a ranch my grandfather left our family before any of us kids were born. My mother told me the inheritance was a blessing because she and dad were one paycheck from living in their car before they got the ranch house and surrounding fifty acres.

My dad quickly found a job as a bank manager and my mother took a job as an assistant manager at the Greenery Bed and Breakfast. Mom worked there until she gave birth to Mike then she stayed home to take care of him. Soon Davy was born, then Miller, and finally me, Vera. We weren’t rich, nor were we poor, dad’s pay covered us right up until he was killed in a bank robbery when I was three. Though I have no recollection of what life was like before he died, I believe my family was happy.

Even though mom received survivors’ benefits for us kids and insurance money from a policy the bank provided all their employees she got her job back at the B&B. She worked long hours; sometimes she was gone for days. Eventually she became the Greenery’s full-time manager and all but moved out of the house.

When mom went back to work Mike took over the day-to-day matters of our household. At first he didn’t mind taking on the responsibility. He wanted to make dad proud, but as the years passed Davy and Miller started rebelling against his authority over us younger kids. They became uncontrollable at school, at home, and Mike wasn’t getting much help from our mother. In a way, Mike and I started having sex because of them.

Davy and I are the youngest so we shared a bedroom. Davy hated sharing the room with me and did everything in his power to torment me. He put food, water, and even mud in my bed. He buried the school clothes I carefully laid out for myself in the backyard. When I tried to sleep at night he played his stereo so loud the glass in our bedroom window wobbled. Sometimes he hit me.

I think Mike had similar problems with Miller because he began sleeping in mom’s room. After what seemed like endless harassment from Davy I joined Mike in the main bedroom—I was seven—and for the first time in months I was able to have a full night’s sleep. Even harassment from Davy lessened after he essentially got his own room.

Months passed and as far as I know Mike didn’t touch me. If he did I was asleep and unaware of it. Then one night, when I was eight, he asked me to take off my all my clothes before getting into bed with him. I don’t remember questioning his reasoning but I know I did it willingly. I was lying on my side and Mike was behind me, his body spooned against mine. Mike was powerfully built—slender but well muscled from the chores he did to maintain our ranch and the odd jobs our closest neighbor Mr. Xavier paid him to do on his farm. I remember liking the way his body felt and was distantly aware he was also naked. When he put his arm around me I sighed and cuddled against him.

Then as I was drifting toward sleep, I felt his cock grow long and stiff against my bottom. It was hot; it felt like a heating pad turned up to eight. Mike called my name in a quiet voice. I didn’t answer him because I felt too sleepy to talk to him so I thought if I stayed quiet he’d leave me alone. To this day I wonder if I had said something would Mike have stopped. Mike rolled me onto my back very gently and I still didn’t let on that I was awake. I guess I was curious about what he was doing. Mike called my name with another soft whisper and when I didn’t respond he slipped his hand under the cover and massaged my chest. I didn’t think anything was wrong at that point, in fact his long, thick fingers felt nice on my body. I sighed and started to go to sleep. Mike stopped rubbing me when I made noise and I was sorry he did, but after a few moments he resumed caressing me. I was nearly asleep when I felt his hand moved farther down my torso to my stomach where his fingers briefly circled around my belly button before sliding down between my thighs.

I learned in school about bad touching so I knew right away what Mike was doing to me, but for some reason I wasn’t scared. Mike stopped caressing me and whispered my name again. I was fully awake this time and made a conscious effort to fake being asleep. Mike waited a few more seconds then he cupped my groin with his hand and rubbed his middle finger between my labia. Then he kissed my lips, very briefly before his mouth moved down to my chest, his lips sealing around my right nipple. He gently sucked and licked it while his finger continued to stroke my pussy. I don’t remember any of it feeling good but I think it must have because I do remember Mike’s finger became slippery with my wetness, and I’ve learned since then I only get wet when I’m excited.

I was surprised when Mike removed his hand and mouth from my body, maybe even a little disappointed. I felt his weight shift on the bed then I heard him open one of the drawers in the nightstand next to the bed. There were some rustling sounds and I almost opened my eyes to see what caused them, but before I could Mike spread my legs apart slowly. His weight shifted again and I felt him position himself over me.

I risked slitting my eyes open and saw Mike’s dark silhouette above me, he had one arm braced next to my head while the other was reaching down between our bodies. Then I felt his fingers on my pussy again, but instead of sensing calloused skin I felt a cool, slick substance on his fingers. The coolness soon turned to heat as he slid one of his fingers inside me. It wasn’t long before the folds of my pussy turned numb. It felt just like when the dentist gave me a shot in my gums when I had to get a filling.

I couldn’t stop myself from letting out a tiny whimper when Mike inserted another finger into me and pushed both in deeper, my whole body tensed. He stopped moving—he even stopped breathing. The numbness spread and the slight discomfort I’d felt quickly vanished. I relaxed, sensing this Mike slid a third finger inside my pussy, but since I’d lost almost all sensation down there I only felt stretched by his invading fingers. Mike twisted his fingers inside me splaying me open even more. Mike pulled his fingers out of me for a few seconds then seemed to change his mind and put them back in and continued twisting them around inside my body.

By this time I figured out what Mike was planning to do with me. I considered “waking up” to stop him. I’d seen animals mating when I helped Mike work on our neighbors’ farms (anything to get away from my other brothers—plus, I liked working with Mike). He told me what they were doing and why and that when people mated it was called sex. Mike wanted to have sex with me.

Mike took his hand away from my pussy again then I felt his cock’s head prod my entrance—it felt vaguely huge against my numbed flesh. I should have been terrified but it would be months before I laid eyes on my brother’s erection. I’m certain if I had seen how big he was that night I would have fought like hell to keep his cock out of me. Then he was inside me before I knew what had happened. One moment I was empty then suddenly there was this feeling of being stuffed all the way up to my belly.

Mike braced his other arm beside my head as he jabbed his hips forward. He let out a breathy, ‘Oh, my god’ when his pubic hair brushed against my hairless pubis. He was so big his cock made my pelvis bulge. Thankfully whatever he’d used to deaden the nerves in my pussy prevented me from feeling any pain, even his knob pressing against my cervix felt dull and distant.

Mike started to inch his cock out of me until only half of it was still inside me, then he pushed back in to the hilt and shuddered violently. He repeated the motion again and again, the speed of his strokes became faster, and the power behind them was enough to cause the usually firm mattress to dent deeply beneath me. Mike was careful not to pound into me too hard, even in his lustful state he was conscious he could do serious damage to me internally, even if I wasn’t able to feel it.

“God, oh, god,” Mike uttered under his breath as he swiveled his hips, the powerful muscles in his legs thrumming with tension against my thighs. His skin was feverish and moist with sweat. “You feel so good. So good.”

I opened my eyes when he said that. Oddly enough, though I technically knew the mechanics of sexual intercourse, I really didn’t understand why people liked it so much. I had no idea it felt so good to them. Listening to Mike moan and feeling his body tremble crystallized in my mind that my pussy gave my brother great pleasure.

Mike was writhing above me; his head was tilted back and moving from side to side. Frantic, rough growls issued from his throat. They were loud—I don’t think he was worried about waking me up anymore. He was very close to losing control of himself altogether. His cock was colliding with my cervix almost to the point of being painful even with the numbing stuff he slathered inside me.

The springs in the mattress creaked and the headboard banged against the wall. The noise from the bed and Mike’s grunts was starting to scare me. Or maybe it was the intensity I sensed building in Mike as he came closer and closer to reaching his orgasm that frightened me?

When he did come Mike must have lost the strength in his arms because he collapsed, crushing me under his body. I turned head to the side in time to keep my face from being smooshed by his broad, sweaty chest, but that didn’t make his weight any easier to endure on the rest of my body. It was hard to breathe.

Mike muffled his screamed into my pillow. My ear was pressed against his body and I heard the raw, desperate sound of it reverberating in his chest. His cock was jolting inside me. I really felt it now, indicating the numbing stuff he used was wearing off. I felt how big he was, how hard, and it amazed me that I could be impaled on something so long and thick without there being any pain. Just when I thought I would suffocate Mike rolled off of me and I could breath again. My abdomen felt hollow now that his cock was gone. It was also tender, like the time Davy pushed me and I fell and landed on his baseball.

Minutes passed before Mike’s breathing calmed and his body stopped shaking. He sat up then I heard a sound like a rubber band snapping. A moment later he settled back down on the bed and curled his arms around me. His cock was soft and wet against my hip. He gently kissed my face murmuring words I didn’t understand until I heard soft snores.

I waited for several minutes before extracting myself from Mike’s embrace and walked through the moonlit room to his side of the bed. I turned on the lamp sitting on the nightstand, its light exposing my naked body. My entire torso glistened with Mike’s sweat. I opened the drawer to the nightstand and saw it held a note pad, a few pens, one of my mother’s paperbacks, a white collapsible tube, and four golden square packets.

I picked up the tube and tried to decipher the bold blue text written on it. The only word I recognized was the word ‘Cream’. I unscrewed the cap and smelled its contents. The stuff inside was light pink and smelled like strawberries. I touched my pussy, feeling my fingers grow numb, and smelled them. The odor was identical. One mystery solved, sort of. I put the tube back in the drawer then picked up one of the packets. I sounded out the words Trojan Magnum Large Condoms. I had no idea what that meant. I returned it to the drawer then turned off the lamp. After crawling back under the covers, I wiggled in close to Mike and wrapped my thin arm around his waist. I kissed his cheek and soon I was asleep too.

We went on like that for months. During the day Mike acted as though nothing was happening between us at night; he was just my big brother, the one who cooked and cleaned and made me take baths and brush my teeth. I still can’t explain why I continued pretending to sleep through his fuckings; I can only guess that despite being eight years old I sensed Mike was more at ease thinking his assaults had gone unnoticed by me.

Davy and Miller were clueless about our sexual relationship. I don’t think they gave Mike and I another thought once we moved out of “their” bedrooms. Mom was a non-factor.

Things changed again when Mike got in bed but didn’t press his body against mine. He didn’t always do that right away—sometimes he had to wait until his erection went away so I wouldn’t notice it, or until he thought I was asleep. Pretending to snore lightly, I waited and I waited for the first tentative caress of his hand on my arm then a gentle shake, but neither came.

I shifted around to face Mike. There was a full moon that night and it’s pale yellow light shined through window of our bedroom allowing for some visibility in the dark room. I expected to see Mike asleep, even though he always fucked me regardless of how tired he was from school, football practice, and chores. He wasn’t sleeping—he was on his back and staring at the ceiling. I looked farther down his body and saw his hands were on his chest, clasping then unclasping over and over again. I’ve only seen him do that when he was trying very hard not to hit someone.

I looked down even farther and saw his cock had tented the covers high above his groin. Obviously Mike wanted to have sex with me but was hesitating for some reason. This was unacceptable to me.

After a month and a half of fucking me Mike stopped using the vaginal anesthetic, he didn’t need to. My body had contoured itself to accept Mike’s cock with ease. He didn’t need the condoms anymore either since he didn’t have to worry about losing sensation from the cream. He started using regular lubricant on me. I almost gave myself away when his slicked fingers first entered me. His preparations never felt so good before; instead of immediately numbing me, Mike’s fingers ignited the sensitive nerve-endings inside my pussy and sent a rapturous sensation through me. He took care to apply the lube evenly inside my pussy with his long, meaty fingers while his thumb manipulated my clit causing my head to swim. My body was experiencing a riot of sensation, pleasure unlike anything I’d ever felt before.

After several minutes of maddening contact Mike pulled his fingers out of me then he slid his cock in. The whimper of delight that passed my lips was impossible to hold back, I didn’t even try. Mike didn’t hear me because he cried out at the same time. Without the cream I could feel every inch of him, the way it filled me, hot and thick, stoking ecstasy within me.

The pleasure he gave me was overwhelming. Feigning sleep while he fucked me every night nearly drove me crazy. Sometimes I had to bite my bottom lip till it bled to keep from screaming out when he made me come: and he made me come every single time. And it wasn’t just that big cock of his I enjoyed, it was the sensation of my body being owned by my brother. The way his well-muscled body moved over me, held me down, as he strived to reach his orgasm while he ruthlessly—unknowingly—drove me to mine.

Before that night I thought of sex with Mike as sort of a chore. A chore I didn’t necessarily mind performing, but a chore nonetheless. I knew he liked doing it and I felt that he deserved to feel good because he was the only one in the world who took care of me without complaint or thanks. But after that night I couldn’t wait until bedtime. I was no longer letting Mike spread my legs out of some sense of duty.

Mike was trying to stop himself from taking me that night; I didn’t know it then, but I know it now. Maybe Mike never would have touched me again, I’ll never know. What I did next sealed both our fates.

My hand found its way around the thick girth of Mike’s cock and I began stroking it.

“Jesus!” Mike shouted, sitting up like a shot. I tightened my grip on his heated shaft to make sure he couldn’t easily pull away, unconcerned that I’d hurt him with the meager strength in my arm. He was extremely rigid, and big, so much larger than I imagined. “Vera?”

I gave no reply and went on stroking him under the blanket. I wished I could see it. I always wondered what it looked like.

“Vera—I,” Mike started but his voice faltered when I gave his cock two long, slow strokes. He sighed then settled down onto his back. I smiled in the dark and moved closer to him, pressing my bare chest against his arm. I set about the hand job in earnest, though I was thinking of it as exploration.

It wasn’t long before I had Mike squirming next to me. I giggled at the weird sounds he made—a cross between panting and choking. On one down stroke I noticed there was something below the shaft of his cock. Curious I moved my hand lower and hefted two round things surrounded by loose skin. It took me a few seconds to figure out what the meatball-sized objects were, I remembered Mike telling me about testicles and what they were for when I saw two horses mating.

“Vera—Vera, stop—I’m gonna come!”

I stopped immediately and pulled my hand away. I knew what coming meant. Mike often couldn’t stay quiet about his orgasms, it was a wonder Davy and Miller didn’t hear him when he came.

“This whole time you’ve been awake, haven’t you?” Mike asked.

“Hmm, yeah,” I said, more interested in playing with his cock than talking.

“I’m so sorry, V.”

“It’s okay,” I said then grabbed his cock again, certain he was cooled down by then. Mike twisted his hips and pulled his cock away before I could get a good grip on it. “Are you still going to come?”

“I can’t—I won’t do that to you anymore,” Mike said.

“But why?” I asked, my voice trembling. My eyes started to burn and the ball of excitement I’d felt as I fondled Mike’s cock turned to a knot of dread. The possibility of Mike not fucking me again was to me a disaster. How would I get that mind-shattering feeling in my pussy if Mike didn’t want to give it to me anymore?

“I’m sick, Vera. What I did to you was sick. I’m sick.”

“I don’t understand!” I wailed.

“Shh! Listen, okay? Brothers aren’t supposed to rape their sisters. Fuck, I’m supposed to be taking care of you, not getting off inside you!”

“But you didn’t rape me!” I protested, though I didn’t understand what the word “rape” meant. I could tell by the context it was something bad.

“You’re too young to understand, V. God, I wish you didn’t know what I did to you. It’s going to mess you up when you get older.”

“But, Mike—”

“No, Vera! No more,” Mike said in his most stern tone of voice. The one that not even Davy or Miller argued against when he used it. “I’m going to sleep down stairs on sofa from now on, you can have Mom’s room.”

As Mike started to get off the bed I threw myself at him and latched onto his arm. “Don’t go! I—I—I—”

I struggled to find the right words to use to keep Mike with me, but I couldn’t. I didn’t know why he was so upset in the first place. I began to cry, a hopeless despair overcoming me. “P-Please don’t take away the good feeling!” I sobbed.

“What?”

I clutched his arm tighter and said, “The good feeling your penis gives me when you put it inside me.”

Mike was silent for a few moments as I continued to sob pitifully. Then he lay back on the bed and gathered me into his arms. I quickly settled my head on his chest and wrapped my arms and leg around his body.

“Vera, does my—penis—really make you feel good?”

“Oh, yes!” I declared enthusiastically. “It feels like I need to pee, but I don’t, instead a big old shiver goes through my body and then I feel like I’m going to explode and then I do!”

I heard Mike chuckle at my animated description. “So I never hurt you?” he asked.

“The first time I got that good feeling I thought you were killing me,” I wasn’t afraid to admit since I could tell Mike wasn’t going to leave anymore. I could feel his erection on my leg, harder than ever.

“La petite mort,” Mike said in a soft voice.

“Huh?”

“Never mind. Come here.”

Mike rolled us over so he was on top of me. He moved down until our faces were level and he kissed me on the lips. I let out a moan of surprise; Mike never kissed me before, not on the mouth.

“I’ve wanted to really make love to you for a long time,” he said. “The things I’m going to show you—do to you.”

Then he was kissing me again. I tried to kiss him back, but inexperience hindered my efforts. I gave up when I caused our teeth to clash noisily due to the clumsiness of my lips. I arranged my lips into a passive bow and accepted Mike’s tongue into my mouth. He tasted fresh and clean and faintly like mint-flavored toothpaste. I was relieved when Mike pulled his lips away from my mouth and started pecking at the soft flesh of my neck. I shivered when he lavished my throat with warm, moist licks with his tongue—it felt really nice. He sucked the pulse in my neck before moving down and sprinkling kisses along my collarbone.

I sighed and closed my eyes when Mike’s tongue flicked over my very underdeveloped nipples, he then lightly scraped the skin just under my areolas with his teeth. I liked what his mouth was doing, and yet at the same time I felt a squirmy sensation in my stomach. It was like the feeling I got the day before Christmas, or on my birthday. I didn’t know why such thrumming anticipation was building up within me, but I allowed myself to enjoy it and let it overwhelm me. I was looking forward to the things Mike wanted to show and do to me.