Just a dyke

These characters are mine, and they come from my crazy head. Feel free to review, every comment helps.This is only my second attempt at writing fan fic's. My first one went pretty good, so I'm hoping this one does the same or better. Let me know what ya think.




“You’re just a dyke. A dyke that’s still in love with her ex-best friend,” Jo said to herself as she exhaled from a long drag from her cigarette.

She paced back and forth the area that she used to call “her smoking spot.” Taxi’s speeding by, blaring their horns at passing traffic. With one hand fiddling at her cell phone in her pocket, Jo continued to pace as she smokes. Her dark grey eye’s concentrating on the buildings surrounding her, as every thought she’s ever had races through her head.

“Why am I here? Why did I drive three hours to come here to talk to her? She’s not going to answer the phone you dumb dyke. She hates you. She hates what you’ve made her feel. You’ve fucked this all up.”

Jo began pacing faster, as her mind blurted out random thoughts she was having. If people would have even noticed her, they would have probably thought she was crazy, and she looked the part. Her t-shirt half wrinkled, jeans half falling off from forgetting her belt, shoes untied. Her hair would have been a mess, but she always kept it hidden under a backwards baseball hat. The only thing Jo had going for her, was her feelings. She was here to tell Reya exactly what she should have said six months ago, before she took off and left.

“Just do it you chicken shit. Just take the phone out of your pocket and dial.” Jo thought out loud as she jams her hand in her front right pocket. Flipping open the phone, Jo scans through her contact list, and searches for Reya’s number. The numbers scroll down the screen, but when Reya’s name pops up the scrolling abruptly stops. Reya’s name stares back at Jo ominously, almost convincing her to put the phone back into her pocket. She stares at the phone in her hand, and looks around the busy city sidewalk, envying all the people who seem like they have no problems in their lives.

The world seems to stop spinning for a brief moment when Jo finally pushes the green button on her phone, dialing Reya’s room. Jo puts the phone to her ear, and listens to the ringing in the ear piece. One ring, two rings, three rings.

“Hello,” a voice says as they pick up the other end.
“Um…is Reya there?” Jo questions with a slight crack in her voice.
“Yea, hold on just a sec,”

The few seconds seem like an eternity, as Jo listens to the girl tell Reya the phone is for her. Right before Reya answers the phone, Jo reminds herself to breathe.

“Just breathe, calm down, just talk. That’s all you have to do.” She thinks to herself.

“Hello,” Reya says in her high pitched happy voice.

“Reya,” Jo replies, almost in tears from hearing her voice for the first time in months.

“Yea, who is this?”

“Um…it’s Jo.”

“What do you want?” Reya says, dropping the tone in her voice.

“I…just...are you busy?” Jo says stuttering at first.
“No, why?”

“I just want to talk to you. I have to explain…” Jo trails off.
“I don’t want to hear what you have to say.”

“Reya, please. I just drove three hours to come up here and

talk to you. Just give me this one last thing please.” Jo pleads, almost breaking down in tears.

“You drove up here? Why?”

“It’s a long story. I just have to talk to you, please.”
There was a long pause on the other end of the line. Jo smacks her self in the head for sounding so desperate. A single tear runs down the side of her already rosy cheeks.
“Fine, where are you at?” Reya says, and she releases a deep breath.

“I’m down stairs, in my spot.” Jo replies wiping the tear from her face.

“I’ll be down in a few,”

“See ya in a few.”

Jo hangs up the phone and held in her need to start crying already. She knew that this was going to be the most emotional moment of her life, next to the moment when she took off and moved back home.
The sound of Jo lighting another cigarette was drowned out by an ambulance rushing through the street. She takes a long drag, and expels the smoke from her lungs. This moment was torture for Jo, the wait. She had to wait in hopes that Reya would actually leave her room, and talk. Jo had wished for this moment for the past two months. Six hours ago, she didn’t even know what she was going to have for dinner, but when she got into the car to go grab another pack of cigarettes, instead of heading home after the purchase, she turned on to the interstate. Not thinking about what she was going to say, or how she was going to say anything, Jo just dove on instinct. She knew it was time to tell the one person that means the world to her how she felt, how she feels.

Jo opens up her phone again, checking how long it had been since she called. Two cigarettes and ten minutes had passed since she hung up the phone. Just as Jo opens her half-empty pack of cigarette, she sees Reya out of the corner of her eye. With the cigarette clinging to her lip, Jo’s jaw hangs open at the sight of Reya. The only thing she could do was blink, no words could come out, she couldn’t even breathe. Her mind went a complete blank as she stares at the girl she once treated like her girlfriend.

“I thought you were going to quit smoking?” Reya says as she walks closer to the spot Jo was sitting on the sidewalk cluttered with cigarette butts.

“I was gonna, but too much stress to quit.” Jo says as she drops her head almost resting them on her bent knees. “You wanna go to our spot?”

“Um..sure,” Reya replies as she watches Jo get up from the ground and dust off her pants.

The pair walks in complete silence as they head towards the empty grass lot behind tower three. Every few feet Jo looks over at Reya, looking into the beautiful dark brown eyes she missed staring into. When Reya would catch Jo looking over at her, Jo would quickly look at the ground. If it weren’t for rush hour traffic, the silence would have been deafening. Jo was in a complete state of panic, as the grassy area got closer and closer. Not knowing what she was going to say or what might come out of her mouth, she was almost frozen in fear of what was going to happen. If she wouldn’t have just drove three hours, or disturbed Reya, she would have turned around and went home. The only thing keeping her going was her instincts telling her that she needed to do this.

The entrance to the park had never looked scarier than it did at this moment. Jo looks at the buildings around her, as if everyone in the windows was watching her. Panic breaths start to take over Jo’s breathing, as she sees Reya plop down in an open area.

“So what did you wanna say to me?” Reya blurts out.

“I have so much to say to you right now, but I’ve never been so scared to say something.” Jo says as she paces back and forth in the grass.

“Why are you so scared? It’s just me.”

“That’s the thing. It’s you, I’ve never been able to really tell you how I feel, and right now, all I can think about is telling you everything.”

Jo’s face turned bright red as she held back the tears that wanted to burst from her eyes. She didn’t know why she already wanted to cry. She could feel every emotion running through her veins, but yet she couldn’t figure out where to start.

“Just say something, I didn’t come out here to watch you pace back and forth, and say nothing.” Reya says with a pissy tone.

“Ok fine…I love you. I still love you, I’ve always loved you. Is that better?” Jo blurts out.

Reya’s face went blank, and she didn’t know what to say. She couldn’t look at Jo, instead she looks at the grass, running the blades through her fingers, picking a few every few seconds. Silence over took both of them. Jo didn’t know what to do at this point. She had finally come clean about her feelings, and Reya wasn’t responding. Tears began rolling down Jo’s cheeks as she stares at Reya.

“Will you say something? I just told you I love you, and you can’t say anything.” Jo says as the tears continue to pour out.

“What do you want me to say? Do you want me to tell you I love you back, so we can be together and live happily ever after? Do you want me to tell you that you’re a sick bastard and to get the fuck away from me? What do you want me to say?” Reya says half screaming.

“I want you to tell me the truth…for once. No lies. Don’t say what you think I want to hear. Just tell me the truth.”

“I don’t love you like that. I never did. I’m sorry I don’t feel the same as you…” Reya starts to say.

“I think you’re full of shit. The way you treated me, the way you would lay in bed with me, the way you would let me touch you, the way you looked at me, the things you would say to me…” Jo says as she starts crying even harder.

“No, you’re crazy. I don’t know what the fuck you thought was going on between you and me. If you thought I was going to be your girlfriend, I’m sorry I led you to believe that.”

“I think you’re scared to admit that you might have actually loved me. I think you’re just as scared as I was to admit that you might have feelings for a girl. I know that it’s not ‘normal’ but how normal was our friendship?”

“Jo, you’re fucking crazy. Coming up here and trying to tell me that I might be bisexual or a fucking lesbian, I’m not so get over it. There was nothing between you and me and there never will be.”

Jo’s heart sank and the whole reason she had drove up was lost in a matter of minutes. She sat on the ground unable to stand, tears pouring out of her eyes uncontrollably. Looking at Reya, Jo says,“You’re such a liar. I know you loved me, and you still might. You have to remember I lived with you for a year, I was your best friend. I knew everything about you. I knew when you were angry, I knew when you were sad, I knew when you were happy, and you were happy with me. You might not want to accept this now, but quit telling yourself that you didn’t love me even a little bit.”

“I loved you as my best friend…that was it. I didn’t want you to be my girlfriend, nor do I now. I’m straight. I like guys, if you wanna go out and fuck girls, be my guest. I’m just not going to be one of them.”

“Ok… if you didn’t love me, then why did you want me to move to Philadelphia with you? Why did you want me to meet your family? Why did you come home with me and meet my family and friends? Why did you let me cuddle with you and massage you? Why did you lead me to believe that you might actually have feelings for me?”

“You were my best friend. I thought we just did what best friends do together.”

“Yea, we did stuff best friends do together, but best friends don’t spend two hundred dollars on Christmas presents, or buy concert tickets and roses for Valentine ’s Day. Nor do they surprise you at school with aspirin, and tell you that they’re taking you out to dinner. Oh and best friends always lay on the floor together and watch movies, or hold each other’s faces and wipe away their tears when they’ve been crying.”

Reya was speechless. She never thought about all the things that Jo had done for her. Treating her like a princess, buying her expensive gifts, and giving her massages when her back hurt.

“I…don’t know what to say. I just thought that’s what you did for your friends.”

“Reya dear, I never treated anyone like I treated you. I really loved you, and I thought you loved me. I was sadly mistaken, but some how I kept telling myself, that you loved me, but needed to hurt me to prove to yourself that I loved you. I still love you, and a part of me always will. I gave part of myself to you, and I can’t get it back.”

“How did you give part of yourself to me?” Reya questions with a blank stare.

“I told myself that I wanted to be around you forever. From the moment I met you, I knew there was something about you. I didn’t figure it out until about a year later, but when I realized that I loved you it all made sense.”

“Did you move in with me because you had a crush on me?”

“No, I didn’t love you or have any kind of feelings for you, besides friend feelings. I didn’t realize I had feelings for you until spring quarter last year. I realized I loved you when you and I had that fight in October. When you said that you still had feelings for James, I knew that you didn’t even notice that I had been flirting with you, and that you were too preoccupied with him to notice that I loved you. At the time I didn’t care that you didn’t notice, because I didn’t want to admit to myself, but it still hurt all the same.”

“I guess I finally realize why, it pissed you off so bad, when him and I would flirt. It wasn’t because you wanted him…it was because….you wanted…me.”

“Sorta, I wanted both of you, and I couldn’t stand the fact that I wanted you more than I wanted him. I didn’t want to be this way. I’ve fought it all my life, people calling me a dyke. Telling me that I was a lesbian or if I didn’t turn out to be one they would be surprised. I didn’t want this. I tried not to love you, but it didn’t work.”

“Why didn’t you tell me before now?”

“I didn’t want you to freak out. I knew if I told you, you would treat me different. I thought you might even ask me to move out. I knew that our friendship wouldn’t be the same, because you would say or do the same things, because you would think I was always looking at you or trying to touch you. I thought it would be better this way.”

“I told you before that I wouldn’t care if you were bisexual.” Reya says trying to reassure Jo.

“Yea, it would have been all fine and dandy if I were a bisexual, but not a bisexual in love with you. I freaked out the first time I found out a girl had feelings for me, and I knew that you would be no different. As much as I hoped that I would tell you one day, and that you would come out and tell me that you had feelings for me, I knew that it was never going to happen.”

“And you’re right, it wouldn’t have happened. I just wish you would have let me make a decision about it, instead of you choosing to take off.”

“I couldn’t stay, and watch you date my other best friend. I couldn’t sit there and watch the two people I loved most love each other. Especially you, I couldn’t do it. Your happiness meant everything to me, and I figured that you could finally be happy with him, instead of having me as your roommate.”

“You walked away for me?”

“Yea, I knew that it was better for you if I left, so I packed my shit and left. That wasn’t the whole reason, but it was most of it.”

“What was the rest?”

“Mostly because I couldn’t bear to tell you that I loved you and it was killing me that I was never going to get you to love me back. So I let you make the decision that you wanted him more than you wanted to be my friend.”

“That’s not why I dated him. I wanted you to stay; I didn’t want to lose another best friend.”

“Well, you knew that your choice was going to do. I had told you a million times before that if you dated him, I would leave, and I did.”

“I know. You were always blatantly honest with me about that, but I thought that you might just be saying it.”

“No, I was serious. When I left I was pissed, because that’s all I allowed myself to feel. The whole time I put the fact that I loved you out of my mind, all I could think about was how you chose a boyfriend over your best friend.”

“I wanted to finally be happy. I hadn’t been happy in forever it felt, so I chose happiness over you.” Reya broke in. Jo had tears welling up in her eyes, knowing that she didn’t make Reya as happy as she had thought.

“I know, I was unhappy too. You were most of the reason. I loved you but I was miserable not being able to tell you everything, and seeing you unhappy made me unhappy. Plus continuing to think that at the first chance you would leave me for him, didn’t help me either.”

“If I made you so miserable, then why did you love me?”

“I loved you for all the reasons you made me happy. You only made me miserable when you were unhappy, or flirting with him. When it was just you and I, I was the happiest person ever. Except when we were fighting, when we fought, and not being able to tell you why I was so pissed off, made things ten times worse. I wanted to tell you so badly, but I never could find the right moment to break it to you.”

“Jo, there’s never a right moment. You always wait for that perfect moment that never comes. Why don’t you just do something from instinct for once? Stop listening to the voices in your head telling you to wait. Just do something for once.” Reya yells in frustration.

“Like this….” Jo says as she pulls Reya to her and kisses her lips. Reya shut her eyes, as Jo put her hands on her face. Pulling away, Jo looks at Reya waiting for her to either run away or slap her. “I’m sorry; I don’t know what just happened. I couldn’t help it, please don’t be mad.” Jo says as she quickly stands up.

Reya gets off the ground and follows Jo as she starts pacing back and forth.

“I’m not mad; I’m actually surprised that you actually did something without thinking about it first.” Reya says as she put her hands on Jo’s shoulders stopping her from pacing. “Why couldn’t you have done that six months ago?”

“I couldn’t. I told you, I didn’t want to ruin our friendship. I’m so sorry. If you never want to talk to me again, I’ll understand.” Jo says as she pulls away from Reya’s grip and starts walking back to her car.

“Jo, wait!” Reya yells to her. “Don’t leave me again. Please. I’m sorry that I hurt you. I never meant to, but you were right. I did hurt you to see if you really loved me. This whole time you’ve been gone, all I could think about was how much I missed you. I wanted to be angry that you left, but I couldn’t. I blamed myself for how miserable you were, and I pushed you away because I thought you’d be happier at home with your friends.” Reya says as she starts crying uncontrollably.

Jo turns around and looks at Reya sobbing, “You thought I would be happier with out you?”

Reya nods her head.

“I’ve never been more miserable with out you. Every day I thought about you, and how much you completed me. I tried to be mad at you and forget you, but it just hurt me more being mad at you.”

Reya and Jo both walk towards each other, Jo pulls Reya into a tight hug, and whispers in her ear, “I’m so sorry.”

Reya moves her head and looks Jo in the eyes, “I love you.”

Jo’s mind goes blank. She’s frozen in silence, not knowing if she was hearing Reya correctly. Reya stares into Jo’s stone grey eye’s and waits for her to say something, but nothing comes out of her mouth.

“Are you going to say something?” Reya asks.

“Did you just tell me you love me?” Jo responds.

“Yes, I’ve been telling myself that I didn’t love you for so long that I believed it. I’m so sorry I hurt you.”

Jo pushes Reya’s chin towards her with fingers and kisses her again. Reya puts her arms around Jo’s waist as she softly kisses her over and over again. Both girls didn’t care about the cars driving by getting a free show of the two of them making out in the park, all they cared about was each other. Jo’s hands work their way through Reya’s hair as she continues to kiss the girl that she lost everything for. Pulling away for a breath, Jo looks at Reya, wondering what’s going to happen next.

“What’s wrong Jo?” Reya asks softly

“What’s this mean, do you want this to be one of those good-bye kisses, and I’ll be on my merry way, never to see you again?” Jo asks as she pulls away from Reya.

A single tear runs down Reya’s cheek. Jo walks over and hold Reya’s face in her hand as she wipes the tear from her cheek with her thumb.

“Please don’t leave me again. I miss you so much, things haven’t been right since you left. Please don’t leave.” Reya begs.

Jo knowing that this is what she came up here to hear, in the back of her mind she doesn’t know what to do. She pictured what she would do a thousand times, but Reya actually wanting her to stay never crossed her mind.

“I wanna be with you, but I started school a few weeks ago, and I can’t start school up here with out being to far behind.”

“So what did you come up here for? To hear me say fuck off? Because I think you came up here to hear me tell you that I wanted to be with you.” Reya says getting pissed off.

“I came up here to hear the truth. I never expected you to actually tell me that you loved me. But now I don’t know what to do. I want to be with you, and I still love you, but I can’t live up here again, you’re too far into school, and I’m too far behind. It would be easier for me to wait until you graduate and figure out where you’re gonna be than for me to follow you around.” Jo pleads.

“So you come up here to tell me you love me and I say it back to you and now you’re gonna leave again? You’re really a fucked up bitch.”

Jo walks over to Reya and kisses her again. Reya tries to pull away, but Jo pulls her back and kisses her again. With one hand Jo holds Reya’s black hair out of her eyes, and with the other she holds the back of her head. Reya’s body goes partially limp, when Jo stops for a moment to stare into Reya’s dark brown eyes.

“Are you going to ask to come upstairs, or what?” Reya says as she watches Jo’s eyes try to read her thoughts.

“You want me to come up?” Jo asks.

“Yea, you can come up and see what the room looks like now. I’m tired of hanging out down here.

“Ok,” Jo says with hesitation. She knew that it was uncharacteristic of Reya to ask such a question but went along with it anyway.

Reya grabs Jo’s hand and pulls her toward the exit of the park. The only thing Jo could think about was getting upstairs and taking off Reya’s clothes, but shook the idea out of her head. Reya looks back at Jo as she shook her head.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing I was just thinking again.” Jo replies

“Stop thinking for once. Just go with the flow, isn’t that what you always told me?”

“Yea, but I can give advice, but never take it for myself you know that.”

Reya giggles, and picks up the pace as the pair are almost jogging back to the building. The smile on Reya’s face, made Jo smile as they walked into the first glass door to the elevator in the parking garage. Neither of the two said a word the entire time as they waited for the elevator. The door opens and Reya skips into the empty elevator, followed by Jo. The door closes and Reya stares at Jo as she leans against the wall smiling. Getting off the elevator, Reya once again begins to pull Jo by the hand out of the door as if she didn’t know where she was going. The pair go through the glass security entrance, pass the guard, and through the hall way between tower two and three. The lobby of tower two was surprisingly empty for eight at night, but it didn’t bother either girl. Reya smiles at Jo as she pushes the up button on the elevator. Jo smiles back and pulls Reya towards her, and whispers in her ear,

“I know what you’re up to,”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Reya replies innocently.

The elevator opens letting three people off, and letting Jo and Reya into the dark blue elevator car. Both girls look at each other waiting for the door to close. As soon as the door starts to close, Jo pushes Reya against the wall and starts to kiss her. She nibbles on her ear, and then kisses down her neck. Reya throws her head back and holds Jo’s head as she moves across her collar bone. Jo moves back to Reya’s mouth and slips her tongue into her mouth. Massaging each others tongues, both girls start breathing heavier. The door opens and Jo picks Reya up and brings her to the door still kissing her. Reya fishes for the keys in her pocket, while Jo continues to kiss her neck.

As soon as the door opens both girls push their way into the room, kicking shoes off, moving towards Reya’s bed. Jo pushes herself on top of Reya when they reach her twin bed that was next to the window. Jo leans down and kisses Reya, pressing her lips hard against Reya’s. Jo’s hands start moving in every direction. Grabbing Reya’s breast and massaging it over her shirt. Reya reaches for the bottom of Jo’s shirt, pulls it over her head, and tosses it on the computer chair.

Jo pauses for a moment and looks into Reya’s lust filled eyes.

“Are you sure you wanna do this?”

“Yea, just go slow.” Reya replies.

Jo does as instructed and slows down. She slowly pulls Reya’s shirt off, and tosses it on the floor. Jo gently kisses down Reya’s neck, towards her collar bone, and down to her breasts. She slowly pulls the straps of Reya’s bra down her shoulder as she kisses downward. Reya’s breast bounce out her bra as Jo pulls off the white lacy fabric. Taking Reya’s breast in her mouth, Reya gasps as Jo swirls her tongue around Reya’s erect nipple. Reya reaches for Jo’s bra clasp as she wraps her arms around her broad shoulders. Jo stops for a moment realizing her bra was undone, and tosses it over with her shirt. Reya sits up as Jo straddles her, and slowly moves towards Jo’s breasts. She takes one in her hand and kisses down Jo’s neck and towards her nipple. Both girls are breathing heavily, as Reya takes Jo’s dark pink nipple in her mouth and begins to suck. Jo’s back arches as Reya’s tongue works its way around.

Reya pulls away for a second, and Jo gently pushes her back on the bed. Jo knew that it was now or never, and it was better now than never. She moves one leg, and pushes it against Reya’s pubic bone. The simple touch sent Reya to moan as she arches her back. Knowing Reya wanted her to touch her; Jo reached for the button on Reya’s jeans and pulled them apart. Reya’s eye’s widen know where Jo’s hands where going. Jo looks up at Reya’s eyes,

“If you want me to stop I will.”

“No, don’t stop.” Reya begs.

Jo unzips Reya’s jeans, and begins pulling them off her, reveling a pair of purple high cut underwear. Wanting to rip Reya’s underwear off, Jo resists and instead tortures Reya, by running her fingers over the top band slowly slipping her fingers under the band. Reya whimpers, and Jo pulls off Reya’s underwear in on swift motion. Pushing herself on top of Reya again, Jo starts kissing Reya; slipping her tongue in and out of her mouth. Jo starts moving back down Reya’s neck towards her midsection, stopping only to suck on Reya’s fully erect nipples. Reya’s hands grip the sheets as Jo starts trailing her tongue down her stomach and starts licking and playing with her belly button ring.

“Oh my god,” Reya gasps, as Jo continues to play with the barbell. Jo continues to move downward, kissing a trail down the rest of Reya’s stomach, and towards her opening.

Not knowing exactly what she was doing, Jo thought about all the magazines she had read on how to please your girl. All she knew was she had to make this amazing. She kissing down each of Reya’s thighs and back up to her opening, Reya’s body was completely relaxed as Jo worked upwards. Jo gently pushes her index finger into Reya’s wet folds, as she kissed the triangular area above her opening. Reya’s fingers grip the sheets once again, as Jo trades her finger for her tongue in Reya’s opening.

Working through the alphabet, Jo could feel Reya start to orgasm. Waves of pleasure over took Reya’s body, as Jo swirled her tongue over her clit over and over again. Reya’s entire body began to shake and Jo knew that she was almost there. In the last few moments, Reya’s breath was more like constant moaning, and when she hit her peak she let out one last load moan. Jo pulls her self away from Reya, and kisses back up her stomach and lays next to her out of breath. Reya puts her head against Jo’s and starts crying.

“What’s wrong?” Jo asks.

“Nothing, I’m just so scared you’re going to leave me again. Please don’t leave me again. I swear I love you.”

“Reya, honey,” Jo starts as she pushes Reya’s hair out of her eyes. “ I’m not going to leave you, but I do have to go back home.”

“I know, but I don’t want you to.”

“I have to, but I swear I’ll come up here at least once a month, and we’ll talk all the time on the phone.” Jo promises, as she kisses Reya once more.

“Do you have to leave tonight?” Reya says as Jo wipes away her tears.

“No, but I do have to leave at least by Saturday night.”

“Why Saturday night?”

“I have to work Sunday morning, but I’ll try to figure out how I can come up more than once a month.”

“Ok,”

“Does this mean we’re together, or are we just really close friends now?” Jo asks.

“I would say this means we’re together.”

Jo stares into Reya’s eyes again, and kisses her. “ I love you,”