schedule
December 17, 2006 at 12:00 AM
I like this story. Are you going to continue it or is it a one shot?
schedule
November 5, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Why can't real life ever work out like that? It was a great story, just like the other one, and I loved it. Though it did make me start thinking and that is always a very dangerous thing.
schedule
November 5, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Why can't real life ever work out like that? It was a great story, just like the other one, and I loved it. Though it did make me start thinking and that is always a very dangerous thing.
schedule
October 22, 2006 at 12:00 AM
omg this was amazing i mean i cryed...but omg i love it..love..is ahh i love it really
schedule
August 20, 2006 at 12:00 AM
...Hmm...
It was a good piece (it's tough to write in present tense, so I won't criticie anything related to that), but I found the structure of the story to be a bit of a put-off. *Shrugs* I don't know, it just seems like there are too many short sentences. I just doesn't seem to weave, in my opinion. I guess I'm very picky about reading something and it's something I can't help (though I wish I could...Stupid anal-retentiveness)
Now, content is another matter. The plot was solid and quite gripping. It held me, especially in the whole argument scene. I liked how you had your main character bashing herself at the beginning, as if trying to deny everything that went through her mind before the story started. Keep it up, and you'll get better.
-- SFC Omicron
It was a good piece (it's tough to write in present tense, so I won't criticie anything related to that), but I found the structure of the story to be a bit of a put-off. *Shrugs* I don't know, it just seems like there are too many short sentences. I just doesn't seem to weave, in my opinion. I guess I'm very picky about reading something and it's something I can't help (though I wish I could...Stupid anal-retentiveness)
Now, content is another matter. The plot was solid and quite gripping. It held me, especially in the whole argument scene. I liked how you had your main character bashing herself at the beginning, as if trying to deny everything that went through her mind before the story started. Keep it up, and you'll get better.
-- SFC Omicron
schedule
August 4, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Wow you built up the emotion wonderfully now if you could just keep it going it was great spectacular! although the smut wasnt all that long you made the readers work for it an dI like that ;)
-female
-female
schedule
July 29, 2006 at 12:00 AM
absolutely amazing. that was so hot! loved it.