Without
folder
Angst › General
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
3
Views:
882
Reviews:
4
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Angst › General
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
3
Views:
882
Reviews:
4
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance of characters to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. The Author holds exclusive rights to this work. Unauthorized duplication is prohibited.
Without
(Disclaimer: I own the characters and story.)
Chapter one
It was my last day of freedom. I was only 14 years old. Crumbling down to the bitter ground. Every memory I had came rushing back at me like it was a sickness. I didn't want to remember who I was, or where I came from. I didn't want the strong person I was to be ripped from me and told I was nothing but the shit underneath their fingernails. Nothing mattered anymore, my world was gone and I was becoming invisible along with it. At 15 I became a renegade. It was my first journey on my own without my family with me. I ran from whatever was after me, the thing that took my family away from me in the first place. I became a master with swords, and killing someone no longer effected me the way it should effect a 15 year-old girl. I was tiny in size, only 4\'11, small-breasted, I hadn't hit puberty yet, and when it came to my body I was often mistaken for being a 12 yr old boy. I wore boy's clothes so no one would think otherwise. I hid my hair under wigs or baseball caps ,whatever I could find.
The world I was in was addicting. Killing for money was my life, it was all I lived for. I was young but not young enough to disappreciate what I was doing. It was an insane job to take but I had nothing left to loose or so I thought at the time. As my parents once said about my older sister," teenagers think the emotion they feel at the moment will last forever." Well this hype that I was getting,this sense of revenge seemed to last a long time. It felt like it would never die. That was until I met my mentor, who taught me everything he knew, how to be a cold-blooded killer. Everything felt more like an endurance test. By the time I was 17 my body hit puberty. I got the curves my mother and sister use to pride themselves for having. The straightest auburn hair that came from my father, and my once grey eyes turned hazel. I didn't have much time or freedom then either but what I had then I lacked now. One moment I was in the fight of my life and I had never lost a battle, the next I was knocked off my feet and chained. I was no longer the person I was when I began or the person I had forced myself to be. I was back to square one again, being shoved and smacked. They were dragging me back to the place I had escaped from. I never wanted to go back there, but they didn't care.
I saw the red gate opening. I knew who I was going back to. He was the thing I had run from. He was going to make me remember every little thing from my past, even if it smothered me. I was 13 when I was here last. I watched my family being killed right in front of my eyes, because they wouldn't turn me over to him. My father was a proud man, he was a wise man in the court. Which put me in the lime-light. My mother, she was my fathers whole world. He had her killed second, my first sister, and then my father was the last. No one understood what he wanted with a 13 yr old who hadn't hit puberty yet. He could of had my older sister, my father offered him her hand instead of mine, she was of age to marry and more mature and more womanly then I would ever be in my young life. Yet he didn't want her, he wanted me. I could never forgive him for that, for drawing everyones attention to the thing they had chosen to ignore, he blew a cover I had spent years cultivating, and so I fled. In anger and fear I wasted half my childhood and my older teenyrs out from his grasp. Life on the streets had hardened me, as had my chosen profession. He knew I could snap his fine neck in seconds and feel no remorse but he didn't fear me. He'd spent most of his older teen years and early 20\'s searching for me. I had swore on my families graves that I would never give myself up to such a man as him. But life doesn't turn out the way you plan it to. I wouldn't submit to the guards orders, so they smacked me, and punched me till I was knocked out cold, and when I awoke I saw those gates opening up and closing behind me. I walked through the front doors, which were also red, taking deep breaths expecting the worst. But something stopped me from fully concentrating. A song I knew by heart . I had sung it a million times over and over again. It had never left my mind or my lips from the moment I had first heard it on the radio. The voice I heard ripped at my soul, that voice crowned so well to each word. I loved that song and the singer with my whole heart.
" You left me with goodbye and open arms
A cut so deep I don't deserve
You were always invincible in my eyes
the only thing against us now is time
Could it be any harder to say goodbye and without you,
Could it be any harder to watch you go, to face what's true
If I only had one more day
I lie down and blind myself with laughter
A quick fix of hope is what I'm needing
And how I wish that I could turn back the hours
But I know I just don't have the power" ( the calling; could it be and harder)
They lead me into a room that was so elaborate with details and fine things, that the whole room lost my interest rather quickly. Everything was red and gold, and some things grey. These were his favorite colors. Two leather sofas were vertical from the fire place. In the far left corner there was a grey door that lead out to the servants hallways and corridors. And to the far right was another door but much finer and painted red. That door led to the main entrance, to his many dinning rooms, living rooms and private studies. Upstairs would be the master bedroom and guest bedrooms. Thinking and realizing I was truly stuck here in his home once again brought chills up my spine. My body was exhausted, I could barely move , but I so badly wanted to fight for the freedom I had gotten after my families demise. But these guards would never let me go. And once he knew it was me he would never let me go, ever again.
We waited till the red doors swung open. Laughter could be heard echoing through the corridor, and then it stopped at the doorway. I turned my face away, even though I knew he would have great difficulty recognizing me. The voice, which addressed the soldiers, didn't seem familiar at all. But then the voice I did know was scolding the female voice that had spoken. " Now gentlemen, how many times have I told you not to bring captives to my ........." He was cut off by one of the soldiers. "She is someone rather important, Sir." " She is the killer you've been looking for, the one who killed your greatest men." " Sir, if I may say so she doesn't seem that strong to us, she gave up rather quickly after a few punches and smacks." "What's her name?" "She calls herself, Raven." "That's not her real name is it?" " I don't think it is Sir." He turned to me finally. "What's your name?" I looked at him defiantly. He came closer to my face. "I see you want to be stubborn." " Just so you know young lady, I have no time to waste on you, and I don't care what they do to you." "You would if I told you my name, but I'm not going to." "I'll just let that thought haunt you." He turned away frustrated by my belligerent attitude towards him. He started to walk away when suddenly he froze in his tracks. He turned back around, something about his face was different. He gazed searchingly at my face like he was looking for something. And he spoke out "Anna Royal " The look on his face was pained, like he was seeing me as if I were a ghost. " I don't go by that name anymore, Tristan Dubois." His name came off my tongue like it was a rusty razer blade. The woman by his side started to talk in a really high pitched voice. "Who is she, how do you know this ANNA ROYAL???" I looked at her blatantly and spoke the words I hated to ever admit, "I'm his wife."
She looked stunned. Tristan turned and yelled at his guards to unhand me. Just like her the guards were stunned. They let my arms go, and I fell to the floor on my knees. Tristan stood above me. As he stood over me, I could smell his colon, and that smell always made me remember. I remembered after my parents were killed, everything moved so fast. Within that very hour I was married to this man. I hated the way he looked at me with the same weird expression he has on his face to this present day. I hated how he wrapped his arms around my waist and held me so dear to his heart. He was my first kiss, first of almost everything. He never took my virtue. At night he would whisper in my ear how much he loved me and he would hold me to him. I had over heard one night, him and his father arguing that he would not allow his son to take my virtue. I was too young, not even starting puberty. But now as I looked up into those green eyes, I saw things would be different now. Very different from then. There was no old man to save my virtue. There was just me and Tristan and whatever he planned to do to me would be done. The woman snapped back to the present. A vile look came onto her face. " Your wife??" Tristan turned to her, " Yes, my wife." "That can not be " "I've been by your side for how many years??" " I've shared your bed with you for how long??" "There was never a sign that there was a woman in this house " "Until I came along " Tristan looked at me with his mischievous face. But instead of him saying anything, I cut him off before his words were formed. "I was a very young wife." Tristan took the rest. "Anna was 13 when we were wedded."
"She was with me barely a year when she went off to school." "Then from school, she ran away from me." "You see Clare, I had her family killed.." "She has been gone for nearly four years, so of course there would have been no sign of a woman in this house." "But there were signs that there was a girl living here." "You remember, all the rock poster and CDS?" "Yes" "Those were Anna's." Tristan walked back up to me. Stared contently at me. "Clare, your free to leave this house now."" I have no need of you anymore." "Why does she need to leave???" I never said I was taking up my duties as your wife."
Clare was gone by the time I said my words. Tristan was already on his knees, touching me. His hands ran over my face and though my hair, his smell engulfing me. "Don't touch me , I hate you " He pulled me closer into his embrace. My body began to shake and he just pulled me completely onto his lap. Tristan was no small man. He was 6\'1, green eyes that were a green you could not wish to ever look away from. He was a brunette with thick wavy hair. He always smelled of that Irish spring soap even with his colon on, it just made it worse. I felt my shirt moisten, and Tristan rocking me back and forth. "Oh Anna, do you know how much I want to scream and yell and ring you neck?" He pulled me closer. His voice was slowly becoming inaudible. "You made me crazy in the head for so long, worrying about where you were, what was happening to you." "You cared that much?" "You should of just let me go, instead keeping me against my will." He rubbed my lower back and neck. He pulled me into his chest, where I could hear his heart beating irregularly fast. "Letting you go, it's not as easy as you think." "Yes it would have been." "Right now you could have someone who really loves you, like Clare,you could have had a family already." "Instead of someone who makes you sick with worry." "How do you know about that?" " I read it in the newspaper, after I left school." I looked up into his eyes for the first time in my life. I willingly touched his face. " You don't need someone who will make you sick Tristan." He was dying with each word I said, and it hurt to watch. My gut wanted to be ripped out. " I'm not the girl you fell in love with at first sight." "I can't be her." "I'm not sweet or innocent anymore." "I'm not like Clare, and I'm not like Nicola either." "You will never be like Clare or your sister Nicola." "Don't you see that's what I love about you?"
"Your stronger then them." " Look at you Anna, you've killed how many man?" "You've learned to master the sword, and be an assassin." "You've lived on your own for so long, fighting for yourself." "And yet I sit here in your arms wishing I had done none of it." "Regretting everything that came before , wanting only to have been here, to make sure you didn't get sick." "It's always been my fault that bad things happen, never anything good." " I hate you, but you are all I know and all I have left, which make me love you, all at the same time." My heart was racing as each breath I took, and each gulp of air that entered me made me realize, I've loved this person most of my life. I've cried myself to sleep every night since I left because there was no one to hold me at night. And everything I've done, I've done to keep myself busy, to change myself and make him love me less. But he just loves me more. His green eyes were peering down at me. My hazel ones staring back at him. I put my arms around him and hugged him so hard. " Your going to kill me aren't you?" I whispered into his ear. And he whispered back , "No one will ever touch you." "Only you?" "Only me Anna."
Chapter one
It was my last day of freedom. I was only 14 years old. Crumbling down to the bitter ground. Every memory I had came rushing back at me like it was a sickness. I didn't want to remember who I was, or where I came from. I didn't want the strong person I was to be ripped from me and told I was nothing but the shit underneath their fingernails. Nothing mattered anymore, my world was gone and I was becoming invisible along with it. At 15 I became a renegade. It was my first journey on my own without my family with me. I ran from whatever was after me, the thing that took my family away from me in the first place. I became a master with swords, and killing someone no longer effected me the way it should effect a 15 year-old girl. I was tiny in size, only 4\'11, small-breasted, I hadn't hit puberty yet, and when it came to my body I was often mistaken for being a 12 yr old boy. I wore boy's clothes so no one would think otherwise. I hid my hair under wigs or baseball caps ,whatever I could find.
The world I was in was addicting. Killing for money was my life, it was all I lived for. I was young but not young enough to disappreciate what I was doing. It was an insane job to take but I had nothing left to loose or so I thought at the time. As my parents once said about my older sister," teenagers think the emotion they feel at the moment will last forever." Well this hype that I was getting,this sense of revenge seemed to last a long time. It felt like it would never die. That was until I met my mentor, who taught me everything he knew, how to be a cold-blooded killer. Everything felt more like an endurance test. By the time I was 17 my body hit puberty. I got the curves my mother and sister use to pride themselves for having. The straightest auburn hair that came from my father, and my once grey eyes turned hazel. I didn't have much time or freedom then either but what I had then I lacked now. One moment I was in the fight of my life and I had never lost a battle, the next I was knocked off my feet and chained. I was no longer the person I was when I began or the person I had forced myself to be. I was back to square one again, being shoved and smacked. They were dragging me back to the place I had escaped from. I never wanted to go back there, but they didn't care.
I saw the red gate opening. I knew who I was going back to. He was the thing I had run from. He was going to make me remember every little thing from my past, even if it smothered me. I was 13 when I was here last. I watched my family being killed right in front of my eyes, because they wouldn't turn me over to him. My father was a proud man, he was a wise man in the court. Which put me in the lime-light. My mother, she was my fathers whole world. He had her killed second, my first sister, and then my father was the last. No one understood what he wanted with a 13 yr old who hadn't hit puberty yet. He could of had my older sister, my father offered him her hand instead of mine, she was of age to marry and more mature and more womanly then I would ever be in my young life. Yet he didn't want her, he wanted me. I could never forgive him for that, for drawing everyones attention to the thing they had chosen to ignore, he blew a cover I had spent years cultivating, and so I fled. In anger and fear I wasted half my childhood and my older teenyrs out from his grasp. Life on the streets had hardened me, as had my chosen profession. He knew I could snap his fine neck in seconds and feel no remorse but he didn't fear me. He'd spent most of his older teen years and early 20\'s searching for me. I had swore on my families graves that I would never give myself up to such a man as him. But life doesn't turn out the way you plan it to. I wouldn't submit to the guards orders, so they smacked me, and punched me till I was knocked out cold, and when I awoke I saw those gates opening up and closing behind me. I walked through the front doors, which were also red, taking deep breaths expecting the worst. But something stopped me from fully concentrating. A song I knew by heart . I had sung it a million times over and over again. It had never left my mind or my lips from the moment I had first heard it on the radio. The voice I heard ripped at my soul, that voice crowned so well to each word. I loved that song and the singer with my whole heart.
" You left me with goodbye and open arms
A cut so deep I don't deserve
You were always invincible in my eyes
the only thing against us now is time
Could it be any harder to say goodbye and without you,
Could it be any harder to watch you go, to face what's true
If I only had one more day
I lie down and blind myself with laughter
A quick fix of hope is what I'm needing
And how I wish that I could turn back the hours
But I know I just don't have the power" ( the calling; could it be and harder)
They lead me into a room that was so elaborate with details and fine things, that the whole room lost my interest rather quickly. Everything was red and gold, and some things grey. These were his favorite colors. Two leather sofas were vertical from the fire place. In the far left corner there was a grey door that lead out to the servants hallways and corridors. And to the far right was another door but much finer and painted red. That door led to the main entrance, to his many dinning rooms, living rooms and private studies. Upstairs would be the master bedroom and guest bedrooms. Thinking and realizing I was truly stuck here in his home once again brought chills up my spine. My body was exhausted, I could barely move , but I so badly wanted to fight for the freedom I had gotten after my families demise. But these guards would never let me go. And once he knew it was me he would never let me go, ever again.
We waited till the red doors swung open. Laughter could be heard echoing through the corridor, and then it stopped at the doorway. I turned my face away, even though I knew he would have great difficulty recognizing me. The voice, which addressed the soldiers, didn't seem familiar at all. But then the voice I did know was scolding the female voice that had spoken. " Now gentlemen, how many times have I told you not to bring captives to my ........." He was cut off by one of the soldiers. "She is someone rather important, Sir." " She is the killer you've been looking for, the one who killed your greatest men." " Sir, if I may say so she doesn't seem that strong to us, she gave up rather quickly after a few punches and smacks." "What's her name?" "She calls herself, Raven." "That's not her real name is it?" " I don't think it is Sir." He turned to me finally. "What's your name?" I looked at him defiantly. He came closer to my face. "I see you want to be stubborn." " Just so you know young lady, I have no time to waste on you, and I don't care what they do to you." "You would if I told you my name, but I'm not going to." "I'll just let that thought haunt you." He turned away frustrated by my belligerent attitude towards him. He started to walk away when suddenly he froze in his tracks. He turned back around, something about his face was different. He gazed searchingly at my face like he was looking for something. And he spoke out "Anna Royal " The look on his face was pained, like he was seeing me as if I were a ghost. " I don't go by that name anymore, Tristan Dubois." His name came off my tongue like it was a rusty razer blade. The woman by his side started to talk in a really high pitched voice. "Who is she, how do you know this ANNA ROYAL???" I looked at her blatantly and spoke the words I hated to ever admit, "I'm his wife."
She looked stunned. Tristan turned and yelled at his guards to unhand me. Just like her the guards were stunned. They let my arms go, and I fell to the floor on my knees. Tristan stood above me. As he stood over me, I could smell his colon, and that smell always made me remember. I remembered after my parents were killed, everything moved so fast. Within that very hour I was married to this man. I hated the way he looked at me with the same weird expression he has on his face to this present day. I hated how he wrapped his arms around my waist and held me so dear to his heart. He was my first kiss, first of almost everything. He never took my virtue. At night he would whisper in my ear how much he loved me and he would hold me to him. I had over heard one night, him and his father arguing that he would not allow his son to take my virtue. I was too young, not even starting puberty. But now as I looked up into those green eyes, I saw things would be different now. Very different from then. There was no old man to save my virtue. There was just me and Tristan and whatever he planned to do to me would be done. The woman snapped back to the present. A vile look came onto her face. " Your wife??" Tristan turned to her, " Yes, my wife." "That can not be " "I've been by your side for how many years??" " I've shared your bed with you for how long??" "There was never a sign that there was a woman in this house " "Until I came along " Tristan looked at me with his mischievous face. But instead of him saying anything, I cut him off before his words were formed. "I was a very young wife." Tristan took the rest. "Anna was 13 when we were wedded."
"She was with me barely a year when she went off to school." "Then from school, she ran away from me." "You see Clare, I had her family killed.." "She has been gone for nearly four years, so of course there would have been no sign of a woman in this house." "But there were signs that there was a girl living here." "You remember, all the rock poster and CDS?" "Yes" "Those were Anna's." Tristan walked back up to me. Stared contently at me. "Clare, your free to leave this house now."" I have no need of you anymore." "Why does she need to leave???" I never said I was taking up my duties as your wife."
Clare was gone by the time I said my words. Tristan was already on his knees, touching me. His hands ran over my face and though my hair, his smell engulfing me. "Don't touch me , I hate you " He pulled me closer into his embrace. My body began to shake and he just pulled me completely onto his lap. Tristan was no small man. He was 6\'1, green eyes that were a green you could not wish to ever look away from. He was a brunette with thick wavy hair. He always smelled of that Irish spring soap even with his colon on, it just made it worse. I felt my shirt moisten, and Tristan rocking me back and forth. "Oh Anna, do you know how much I want to scream and yell and ring you neck?" He pulled me closer. His voice was slowly becoming inaudible. "You made me crazy in the head for so long, worrying about where you were, what was happening to you." "You cared that much?" "You should of just let me go, instead keeping me against my will." He rubbed my lower back and neck. He pulled me into his chest, where I could hear his heart beating irregularly fast. "Letting you go, it's not as easy as you think." "Yes it would have been." "Right now you could have someone who really loves you, like Clare,you could have had a family already." "Instead of someone who makes you sick with worry." "How do you know about that?" " I read it in the newspaper, after I left school." I looked up into his eyes for the first time in my life. I willingly touched his face. " You don't need someone who will make you sick Tristan." He was dying with each word I said, and it hurt to watch. My gut wanted to be ripped out. " I'm not the girl you fell in love with at first sight." "I can't be her." "I'm not sweet or innocent anymore." "I'm not like Clare, and I'm not like Nicola either." "You will never be like Clare or your sister Nicola." "Don't you see that's what I love about you?"
"Your stronger then them." " Look at you Anna, you've killed how many man?" "You've learned to master the sword, and be an assassin." "You've lived on your own for so long, fighting for yourself." "And yet I sit here in your arms wishing I had done none of it." "Regretting everything that came before , wanting only to have been here, to make sure you didn't get sick." "It's always been my fault that bad things happen, never anything good." " I hate you, but you are all I know and all I have left, which make me love you, all at the same time." My heart was racing as each breath I took, and each gulp of air that entered me made me realize, I've loved this person most of my life. I've cried myself to sleep every night since I left because there was no one to hold me at night. And everything I've done, I've done to keep myself busy, to change myself and make him love me less. But he just loves me more. His green eyes were peering down at me. My hazel ones staring back at him. I put my arms around him and hugged him so hard. " Your going to kill me aren't you?" I whispered into his ear. And he whispered back , "No one will ever touch you." "Only you?" "Only me Anna."