Life Of Melanie (Completed)

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There is just something about high school that makes you want to kill yourself. Me, personally, I would take the short method, one quick bullet through the head. Most of the girls in my school don\'t realize they are committing suicide slowly through starvation. My name is Melanie Akins, and if you haven\'t noticed I am not the happiest person in the world. Sometimes I think hatred is like a kind-of element, like oxygen, you can live off of it. At this point I hate every aspect of my life, with the exclusion of a few people.

One of those people is Clarissa Jones. She is my best friend, well, my only friend. She moved here three months ago from Delaware. Her family practices the Pentecostal Religion. I myself don\'t know much about it, just that the women of the religion have to wear long skirts all of the time. Needless to say she didn\'t fit in with anyone, except me.

I don\'t know how your high school works, but at mine every group has their place. The popular kids have the huge oak tree, the stoners hang out in the parking lot, and the nerds take over the picnic tables by the cafeteria. Since I\'m not pretty enough, I\'m not popular. I don\'t smoke pot often enough to be a stoner, and I\'m too dumb to be a nerd. Therefore, I fall into my very own category - invisible. When Clarissa started this school, she fell into my category, and believe me I was glad for the company.

Even though I\'ve lived in Burson, Illinois, my whole life, I feel like I don\'t know anybody in this town. Sure I could probably name everyone in my sophomore class, I don\'t know any of them. Well, except my cousin Alisha, who somehow ended up popular after elementary school. While I ended up invisible. She invites me to parties sometimes, but I never go. I don\'t see the point. I mean the only reason I would ever go is to catch a glimpse of Lucas Hope.

Lucas Hope has been the object of my desire since seventh grade. Of course, he has to be the most gorgeous person in Burson High. Plus, he is in a band, which makes him even more mouth watering. I refuse, however, to be a groupie. I could never compare to the countless girls that just throw themselves at him. I\'m plain Jane compared to them.

I\'m about five foot five, which is not too short, but it is definitely not tall. I would say I\'m a little over weight, not fat, just very healthy. I have long dull brown hair, that never does what I want. I do have to say I like my eyes, the one thing I wouldn\'t change about myself. They are a light green, with yellow specs around the pupil. On a scale of one to ten, I would say I\'m a 4.5.

Lucas, has never laid eyes on me in the eleven years we have been going to school together. Clarissa and I went to one of his shows once, and I thought he waved at me. It turns out he was waving at the girl behind me. Story of my life, daughter of a glass maker, everyone can see right through me. Clarissa is the total optimist, in her eyes everything will work out to my advantage. She and I are so different, but you know what they say, opposites attract.

What people don\'t see about Clarissa is that she is actually a very beautiful girl. She has long black hair, that she always keeps in a bun at the top of her head. Her eyes are so dark that you can\'t see where the iris ends and the pupil begins. She has great skin too. Her olive complection makes it look like she has a beautiful golden tan all year around. But people can\'t get past the fact that she dresses differently and doesn\'t wear make-up. Idiots! She once told me that the Bible says that women are not supposed to be vain, or draw attention to themselves. She has done a very good job of that. So have I for that matter, and I\'m not even Pentecostal.

Of all the things that make Clarissa beautiful, there is only one thing I envy, she can sing. I mean really sing. The sad thing is, she won\'t let anyone know because of the attention she may attract. Sometimes I can get her to sing for me, but only after lots of begging. I\'ll never admit it out loud, but I\'m starving for attention from my fellow class mates. Clarissa on the other hand could care less. She\'s happy being her....... okay maybe there are two things I envy.

There is one thing I am happy about, there are only two weeks left in my sophomore year. I feel like a caged animal. I can\'t wait to escape. Since this is my last year to enjoy my summer unemployed, I\'m going to take advantage of sleeping until noon. I turn sixteen right before the next school year starts, so next summer I have to get a job. Clarissa is going to Delaware for over a month to visit family, so I\'ll probably lay around my house and worship Lucas Hope. After all what else is there for a fifteen year old girl to do?

I swear I have this notebook hidden under my bed that has ‘I love Lucas Hope\' written in it over and over. If anyone, including Clarissa, saw the infamous notebook, they would have me committed for obsessive compulsive disorder. The sad truth is there are probably fifty other girls with notebooks just like mine. Besides being gorgeous, Lucas is at the top of our class, plays sports, and is loved by everyone. Hell, even if he was a total dick head, I\'d still lay down my virginity for five minutes alone with him.

He\'s just so beautiful. He has shoulder length hair, which is blonde at the moment. Its been many different colors, but blonde and black are my favorites. His eyes are exactly the color of a bolt of lighting. Electric blue. He has the fullest lips of any guy I\'ve every seen. I spend hours daydreaming of what it would be like to kiss those lips. Not to mention his rock hard body that just won\'t quit.

I go to the gym sometimes just to watch him play. When he gets real hot he lifts his shirt wipe sweat from is face. I live for those moments. Moments when I get all light headed thinking of what I would do to him. On those rare occasions I work up the courage to go watch him play basketball, I realize I am just one of many. There are dozens of other girls there living for those moments. Its funny, because I get so pissed at those girls. See, I my world he\'s mine, no one else should be able to look at him. I sure they all think the same thing.

Sometimes I wonder if he know how worshiped he is. I\'d like to think he doesn\'t, because that my fantasy. In reality, he\'s probably just as cocky and arrogant as every other mother fucker in this school. Did I mention I only have two weeks left. I can\'t fucking wait.......