Sometimes, I might cry...
folder
Original - Misc › General
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
3
Views:
935
Reviews:
6
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Original - Misc › General
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
3
Views:
935
Reviews:
6
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance of characters to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. The Author holds exclusive rights to this work. Unauthorized duplication is prohibited.
Sometimes, I might cry...
Sometimes… things just aren’t meant to be. I guess… that this was just one of those times. But that doesn’t mean that I’ll stop loving her.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
I glanced over at her quickly as we were both working on her computer. Her beautiful hands with the perfectly shaped nails, her soft brown hair with fading red streaks in it, her beautiful face… I loved everything about her. Even the way she could make me laugh about some of the oddest things. And how she loved to tease me about how I blush very easily (and she always succeeded in making me blush even more when she teased me about it). Some day… I would absolutely love to kiss her.
Good thing we’re working on the computer. She won’t notice me blushing, then. I laughed mentally at that. She was the one in front of the computer, typing in her semi-broken style; whenever she was typing, she’d always concentrate enough that I’d never have to worry about her noticing me staring at her.
“Dinner!” Her mom yelled down the stairs at us, breaking both of our concentrations off of our different subject matters.
“Okay! We’ll be right up!” She shouted back, then turned to me. “Knowing my mom, she’ll only wait for a minute, so we’d better head up.”
“Sure.” I shrugged. I tend to be very easy-going. Maybe too easy-going, but she doesn’t mind… so I don’t. Sometimes, I think it calms her down a bit as she tends to be rather hyper… when you get past the cold wall she uses to protect herself, that is. Not like I mind her being hyper. I’m the kind of person who would never talk and never smile unless I have someone like her around… she makes me happy to be alive.
We quickly finished up what we’d been doing on the computer, then headed upstairs for dinner, which happened to be freshly baked pizza. Yum. We grab a few slices of it, then head back downstairs. We have all evening, but we still want to get through as much anime as possible before one of us can’t keep our eyes open any longer.
She and I are best friends… and both girls. Which is why I’m rather reluctant to admit (even to myself) that I love her. My parents have confronted me several times that she’s (supposedly) bi. I know differently, but let them think whatever they want. If anything, I’m the one that’s bi. But I still don’t want to admit that or even think that. I’m straight, okay?
She grabs a can of rootbeer for herself and me while I pop the dvd into the player.
And that’s pretty much how the evening progressed. Just like so many of the other ones we’d shared together…. We’d grab occasional snacks, drink pop, and watch anime. It was always so much fun, though. Especially since she always has a habit of repeating certain lines of the movies that she likes… and rewinding it to replay sections that she likes. She always makes it that much more fun. Whenever I’m with her, I feel more… alive. I know she will always be there for me, and I will always be there for her. We’re best friends… and both of us hope that we’ll stay that way forever. But we aren’t disillusioned enough to believe that something can’t come up and change that, we just hope it won’t happen. She’s had her heart broken too many times, and I couldn’t stand to hurt her like that…
“GOD!” She exclaimed, turning to me quickly from her seat in her recliner. “Did you see him with his shirt torn off? I am so getting that for my computer wallpaper!”
I laughed and replied that yeah, he did look really hot like that (I couldn’t help blushing, though). And I made a mental note to try and find that picture for her. I have a habit of trying to find things for her that she wants. Once I spent almost $100 on a present for her with no special occasion, and no reason other than that she had wanted that anime. And me being me, I went and got her all 49 episodes of it. I earned myself a pouncing and a huggle for that one. Well, she had warned me to make sure I had some soft cushions around me if it was what she’d been thinking that I’d gotten her. She had just been expecting 3 or 4 episodes of it. So she was ecstatic when she saw that it was 2 cases of them (thinking that it was 6 – 8 episodes), and then when I pointed out that the first one had episodes 1 – 24, and the second one had 25 – 49, I got myself tackled for it. I grinned at the memory.
Hours kept passing and we enjoyed the anime and each other’s company. But soon enough, at the end of one of the dvds, she said we should probably head for bed. That she was getting rather tired. I think there was only one time that I was too tired to stay up. Normally I tend to be rather insomniac. But then, when I get to sleep, I tend to stay asleep. She gets to sleep a lot faster than I do, but she wakes up much easier as well. Anytime I shift in my sleep, it always wakes her up (since we share a large bed when we sleep at her house).
I pick up the pillow and blanket I’d been cuddling with, and help her make the large bed. God, that bed is comfortable, and there’s this large fuzzy blanket that acts as the comforter. And its always the perfect temperature in that room. The only thing that makes it difficult to sleep is there being someone beside me… but I tend to find listening to her soft breathing while she sleeps relaxing.
She crawled into the bed first, with me staying beside it just long enough to allow her to get in. The light switch is right next to my side of the bed, so I always wait for her to get in since it gets so dark down there.
I then turn off the light and climb into the bed beside her. Even though we’re both rather tired, and she’d said she wanted to go to bed cuz she couldn’t keep her eyes open, we still talk for at least an hour after we get into bed. We’ve always done that… except for one time when we had stayed up ‘til seven in the morning, and were both falling asleep despite our best efforts.
The conversation slowly tapered off, and soon afterwards, I heard her breathing slow. I guess part of the reason I have trouble falling asleep beside her is that I tend to be a somewhat restless sleeper… and since she’s such a light sleeper, I worry that I’ll wake her up. But its not like I mind. This is my one quiet time to reminisce about things… about her. I’m perfectly straight. Or at least, I was until I met her. I guess part of the love I have for her is because of how caring she always is. I’ve been suicidal several times, and she’s always been there each time to talk me out of it without realizing what she was doing (because she hadn’t known that I was suicidal). She even removed my knife when she found out that I’d started cutting myself (and especially when she found out that I’d cut myself rather deeply on my wrist one time), she’s always cared about me, always listened to me when I need it, but always talked and helped me laugh when I needed to just get away and stop thinking about the past. I guess… in some senses, I could understand how my friend Cory could well believe that she loves me, too. Even though I still deny that I love her like that. Well… somewhat deny. I know that I love her as a friend, and I know that I would give anything to protect her and keep her from being hurt. I’d do anything just to see her grin, and I’d do even more to get her to squeal in excitement like she does occasionally (which I love so much).
The way she smiles, the way she laughs, the way she makes me laugh, the way she looks at the world, the way she cares, everything. I love everything about her. Its just… whether or not I actually love her like that, or whether its more like friendship love.
I smile softly. She’s curled up against me in her sleep; this is part of why I love sleepovers at her house. With sharing the same bed, we frequently end up snuggled against the other.
Mmm. I’d have to say that, yes, I probably do really love her. I mean, how many people do you know that want to kiss their best friend? Yes. I love her. I’ve always known that. I’ve just never been able to accept it. Because I’ve been afraid. I know what Mom and Dad will do when they find out. They are very firmly against anyone who is anything but straight. I know I will find myself suddenly without a home. I smile again into the darkness and let myself fall asleep.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
“Angel…” I heard her voice whisper my name softly in the darkness, successfully waking me up. Her body was pressed gently against mine, but I knew she was awake. “Angel.” She whispered again.
“Mmm…?” I replied. But that was as far as I got. I felt her lips softly against my neck, and my breath caught quietly.
“Angel. I love you…”
God. If her lips on my neck hadn’t gotten me woken up, that had! I felt her tongue dart out quickly and lick against my neck.
“Mmm.” I replied softly, unintentionally. “I love… you, too.” I whispered back, my speech becoming broken from her now insistent kissing and licking at my neck.
“Angel.” She whispered again. “Please. Can I kiss you?” She asked with growing need.
“No… complaints here!” I whispered, then her lips smothered mine. Her arm slid to rest across my waist, and she slowly transferred her weight so she was more on top of me.
With the soft but persistent movement of her lips across mine continuing, I wondered what had caused her to do this. She couldn’t have guessed that I love her, or that I wanted to kiss her. But… but she obviously knew some how. She’s not the type of person to just do something like this without knowing that I wanted it too.
“Angel?” I heard a voice speak out of the darkness.
I tried to reply but couldn’t.
“Angel. Wake up. Its morning.” She repeated.
I cocked my head a little, and slowly opened my eyes. “mmm…” was my reply. “I’m awake… mostly.” I grinned. As disappointed that I was that her kissing me had only been a dream, it did answer my question. She still didn’t know. Although, maybe she should.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
I glanced over at her quickly as we were both working on her computer. Her beautiful hands with the perfectly shaped nails, her soft brown hair with fading red streaks in it, her beautiful face… I loved everything about her. Even the way she could make me laugh about some of the oddest things. And how she loved to tease me about how I blush very easily (and she always succeeded in making me blush even more when she teased me about it). Some day… I would absolutely love to kiss her.
Good thing we’re working on the computer. She won’t notice me blushing, then. I laughed mentally at that. She was the one in front of the computer, typing in her semi-broken style; whenever she was typing, she’d always concentrate enough that I’d never have to worry about her noticing me staring at her.
“Dinner!” Her mom yelled down the stairs at us, breaking both of our concentrations off of our different subject matters.
“Okay! We’ll be right up!” She shouted back, then turned to me. “Knowing my mom, she’ll only wait for a minute, so we’d better head up.”
“Sure.” I shrugged. I tend to be very easy-going. Maybe too easy-going, but she doesn’t mind… so I don’t. Sometimes, I think it calms her down a bit as she tends to be rather hyper… when you get past the cold wall she uses to protect herself, that is. Not like I mind her being hyper. I’m the kind of person who would never talk and never smile unless I have someone like her around… she makes me happy to be alive.
We quickly finished up what we’d been doing on the computer, then headed upstairs for dinner, which happened to be freshly baked pizza. Yum. We grab a few slices of it, then head back downstairs. We have all evening, but we still want to get through as much anime as possible before one of us can’t keep our eyes open any longer.
She and I are best friends… and both girls. Which is why I’m rather reluctant to admit (even to myself) that I love her. My parents have confronted me several times that she’s (supposedly) bi. I know differently, but let them think whatever they want. If anything, I’m the one that’s bi. But I still don’t want to admit that or even think that. I’m straight, okay?
She grabs a can of rootbeer for herself and me while I pop the dvd into the player.
And that’s pretty much how the evening progressed. Just like so many of the other ones we’d shared together…. We’d grab occasional snacks, drink pop, and watch anime. It was always so much fun, though. Especially since she always has a habit of repeating certain lines of the movies that she likes… and rewinding it to replay sections that she likes. She always makes it that much more fun. Whenever I’m with her, I feel more… alive. I know she will always be there for me, and I will always be there for her. We’re best friends… and both of us hope that we’ll stay that way forever. But we aren’t disillusioned enough to believe that something can’t come up and change that, we just hope it won’t happen. She’s had her heart broken too many times, and I couldn’t stand to hurt her like that…
“GOD!” She exclaimed, turning to me quickly from her seat in her recliner. “Did you see him with his shirt torn off? I am so getting that for my computer wallpaper!”
I laughed and replied that yeah, he did look really hot like that (I couldn’t help blushing, though). And I made a mental note to try and find that picture for her. I have a habit of trying to find things for her that she wants. Once I spent almost $100 on a present for her with no special occasion, and no reason other than that she had wanted that anime. And me being me, I went and got her all 49 episodes of it. I earned myself a pouncing and a huggle for that one. Well, she had warned me to make sure I had some soft cushions around me if it was what she’d been thinking that I’d gotten her. She had just been expecting 3 or 4 episodes of it. So she was ecstatic when she saw that it was 2 cases of them (thinking that it was 6 – 8 episodes), and then when I pointed out that the first one had episodes 1 – 24, and the second one had 25 – 49, I got myself tackled for it. I grinned at the memory.
Hours kept passing and we enjoyed the anime and each other’s company. But soon enough, at the end of one of the dvds, she said we should probably head for bed. That she was getting rather tired. I think there was only one time that I was too tired to stay up. Normally I tend to be rather insomniac. But then, when I get to sleep, I tend to stay asleep. She gets to sleep a lot faster than I do, but she wakes up much easier as well. Anytime I shift in my sleep, it always wakes her up (since we share a large bed when we sleep at her house).
I pick up the pillow and blanket I’d been cuddling with, and help her make the large bed. God, that bed is comfortable, and there’s this large fuzzy blanket that acts as the comforter. And its always the perfect temperature in that room. The only thing that makes it difficult to sleep is there being someone beside me… but I tend to find listening to her soft breathing while she sleeps relaxing.
She crawled into the bed first, with me staying beside it just long enough to allow her to get in. The light switch is right next to my side of the bed, so I always wait for her to get in since it gets so dark down there.
I then turn off the light and climb into the bed beside her. Even though we’re both rather tired, and she’d said she wanted to go to bed cuz she couldn’t keep her eyes open, we still talk for at least an hour after we get into bed. We’ve always done that… except for one time when we had stayed up ‘til seven in the morning, and were both falling asleep despite our best efforts.
The conversation slowly tapered off, and soon afterwards, I heard her breathing slow. I guess part of the reason I have trouble falling asleep beside her is that I tend to be a somewhat restless sleeper… and since she’s such a light sleeper, I worry that I’ll wake her up. But its not like I mind. This is my one quiet time to reminisce about things… about her. I’m perfectly straight. Or at least, I was until I met her. I guess part of the love I have for her is because of how caring she always is. I’ve been suicidal several times, and she’s always been there each time to talk me out of it without realizing what she was doing (because she hadn’t known that I was suicidal). She even removed my knife when she found out that I’d started cutting myself (and especially when she found out that I’d cut myself rather deeply on my wrist one time), she’s always cared about me, always listened to me when I need it, but always talked and helped me laugh when I needed to just get away and stop thinking about the past. I guess… in some senses, I could understand how my friend Cory could well believe that she loves me, too. Even though I still deny that I love her like that. Well… somewhat deny. I know that I love her as a friend, and I know that I would give anything to protect her and keep her from being hurt. I’d do anything just to see her grin, and I’d do even more to get her to squeal in excitement like she does occasionally (which I love so much).
The way she smiles, the way she laughs, the way she makes me laugh, the way she looks at the world, the way she cares, everything. I love everything about her. Its just… whether or not I actually love her like that, or whether its more like friendship love.
I smile softly. She’s curled up against me in her sleep; this is part of why I love sleepovers at her house. With sharing the same bed, we frequently end up snuggled against the other.
Mmm. I’d have to say that, yes, I probably do really love her. I mean, how many people do you know that want to kiss their best friend? Yes. I love her. I’ve always known that. I’ve just never been able to accept it. Because I’ve been afraid. I know what Mom and Dad will do when they find out. They are very firmly against anyone who is anything but straight. I know I will find myself suddenly without a home. I smile again into the darkness and let myself fall asleep.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
“Angel…” I heard her voice whisper my name softly in the darkness, successfully waking me up. Her body was pressed gently against mine, but I knew she was awake. “Angel.” She whispered again.
“Mmm…?” I replied. But that was as far as I got. I felt her lips softly against my neck, and my breath caught quietly.
“Angel. I love you…”
God. If her lips on my neck hadn’t gotten me woken up, that had! I felt her tongue dart out quickly and lick against my neck.
“Mmm.” I replied softly, unintentionally. “I love… you, too.” I whispered back, my speech becoming broken from her now insistent kissing and licking at my neck.
“Angel.” She whispered again. “Please. Can I kiss you?” She asked with growing need.
“No… complaints here!” I whispered, then her lips smothered mine. Her arm slid to rest across my waist, and she slowly transferred her weight so she was more on top of me.
With the soft but persistent movement of her lips across mine continuing, I wondered what had caused her to do this. She couldn’t have guessed that I love her, or that I wanted to kiss her. But… but she obviously knew some how. She’s not the type of person to just do something like this without knowing that I wanted it too.
“Angel?” I heard a voice speak out of the darkness.
I tried to reply but couldn’t.
“Angel. Wake up. Its morning.” She repeated.
I cocked my head a little, and slowly opened my eyes. “mmm…” was my reply. “I’m awake… mostly.” I grinned. As disappointed that I was that her kissing me had only been a dream, it did answer my question. She still didn’t know. Although, maybe she should.