Daddy Dearest

Todd readjusted the duffel bag over his shoulder and approached the white wraparound porch of his guardian’s home. The man smiled when he thought of the many times he and Mark sat in wicker chairs and watched the sunset while they sipbottbottles of cream soda, or the one time Mark chased him around the porch when he was caught playing strip poker and was due a walloping from Mark’s belt. Being a kid had its share of memories, and Todd looked to them for comfort as he timidly walked up the stairs and knocked on the screen door.

Before his courage could fail him, the door flew open. Mark looked as good as ever, towering over Todd with his proud height of 6’3’’, his body 200 pounds of solid muscle, and a thousand-watt grin on his face as he took in his visitor. “Young man, I haven’t seen you for months!” he exclaimed, grabbing the smaller male into a hug to crack the spine of a Kodiak bear.

Todd squirmed until his own arms could securely latch themselves around Mark’s neck. “I missed you,” he whispered in the man’s ear, inhaling the sweet scent of the passion fruit shampoo that kept Mark’s long blonde hair so clean and brilliant. His own stringy nest of red hair was cut short for this occasion, since he’d always worn it short to appease his guardian. Tears began to well up in Todd’s seductive hazel eyes, and it was all he could do to control his voice enough to whisper, “I need to talk to you.”

Mark pat him on the back and kissed his cheek when the embrace broke apart. “All right, honey,” he soothed, taking up his charge’s bag and ushering him inside to the den. “Let me stick your bag in your room, and then I’ll get us something to drink. You want beer or something?”

“N-No thanks, but I would love some soda if you have any.” The cop nodded and hurried upstairs with his burden, leaving Todd to settle down on the familiar leather couch he’d known for years. It still smelled like a new boot, and he leaned down to examine the cracks in the hide. He’d studied them at length when Mark took him over his knee, usually, and Todd couldn’t help but smile when he saw that aside from a bit of wear and tear, the couch was just as he’d left it.

Overcome with emotion, Todd stretched out on the couch and buried his nose in the worn skins, feeling almost at peace. How was he going to tell Mark how he felt? Was Mark even…that way? What if he said no? What if he stopped loving Todd? Oh God, what had possessed him to even come here to say anything?!

He needed closure. Ever since that first dream when he was sixteen, he knew he’d have to come clean with Mark. There was no turning back now.

“Todd?” The youth jumped when he heard his name whispered in his ear, and he nearly knocked Mark over in his surprise. Mark only laughed, his steel blue eyes twinkling as they searched Todd for answers. Underlying the twinkle was the appraising eye only a parent or guardian accumulates after years of living with a dependent. Todd knew it quite well. “I saw you lying in here on the couch, with tears in your eyes; I almost thought you were a kid again, and that you’d done something to give me reason to spank you. How about you sit up, and get whatever this is off your chest?”

Todd sniffled and wiped his cheeks free of tears before accepting the glass bottle of A&W Crème Soda. The drink felt smooth aool ool gliding down his throat as he drank, but it wasn’t enough to absolve his nerves. “Mark, can you promise me something?”

“I can try, babe, but it depends on what you’re asking. Like I can’t promise you I’ll never get sick and die, but I can promise that you’ll never have to worry about my never loving you.” Todd looked up with an expression that only rivaled a deer in the headlights of a truck, all color draining from his face in one swift motion as though someone had pushed a button. Mark instantly reached over to feel the younger man’s forehead before grabbing him into his lap for a long-overdue cuddle. “I’m only going to guess that you assumed that I don’t love you anymore, having said that. Well, you’re wrong; I’m never going to stop loving you, Todd Thatcher, and you’ll just have to deal with that.”

That was all it took to send Todd into a sobbing fit. Mark was startled by it, to say the least, but nothing prepared him for Todd’s confession. “Mark, I can’t live this lie anymore! I’ve known I was gay since I was sixteen years old! Ever since you adopted me, I loved you like a father! But when I was a teenager, I had a wet dream, and you were in it! Oh God, I wanted to be your sexual partner ever since! I know this is disgusting, but I had to tell you! I tried other lovers, men and women, but all I ever wanted was you! Oh God, I’m so sorry!”

It was a lot to swallow, but Mark rode out his own mixed feelings and cradled Todd comfortably until the tears subsided. How to approach this without hurting his little one?! Well, there was always the truth. “Todd, look at me,” he ordered, making the guilt-ridden lump look up. Mark’s smile was gone, but that did not mean he was necessarily angry. “Honey, you do know what incest is, right?”

Todd gulped and nodded. “Th-that’s when one f-family member l-l-loves another, l-like a brother and sister, or f-f-father and…” he couldn’t bring himself to finish, he was so choked with emotion. “Bt you’re not my b-b-biological father, Mark! A-A-And I’m of l-l-legal age of c-c-consent!”

“I agree. What you’re proposing is not incest, little man. And I’m very glad you told me how you felt. Now calm yourself down, take a swig of your pop, and tell me how you came to this conclusion that you’re in love with me.” Thus began almost three hours of talk, where Todd did all of the talking and Mark commandeered the comfort department and withheld his own thoughts.

Todd soon drew to a conclusion, trying to summarize all that he had said. “So after you took me in when you found out I was an orphan, and you didn’t kill me or put me up for adoption, I fell in love with the idea of having a home. As I grew older, I steadily found out I was actually in love with you. I… I was too scared to admit it before, and that’s why I left when I was eighteen and graduated high school. I thought college would clear my head, and it didn’t. I had to come back and tell you, to Hell with the consequences. I saw what kinds of relationships your friends have, and I realized I wanted that too, but I wanted it with you.”

Mark finished off what had to be his second soda and stroked Todd’s hair back affectionately. “So…what you’re saying is you want things to be the way they were when you were my charge. Meaning rules, bedtimes, and punishment when my rules aren’t followed?”

“I don’t know how else I’ll get through my life,” Todd answered truthfully. “With you I felt secure, even when you took your belt to me. On my own, I made all the wrong choices. I’m not asking for you to baby-sit me or anything, but I liked what we had, and I didn’t want it to change. I need help organizing my life, Mark, and you’re the only man I’ll ever trust with my life.”

As these words sank in, Mark felt a laugh bubbling in his toned belly. “And all those times I heard you say how excited you were about moving out,” he sighed, and then burst into hearty laughter. Todd blushed and considered Mark’s mentality to be questionable, but his mind fuzzed over with pleasure as Mark pulled him close and gave him the deepest kiss Todd had ever known. “I accept, honey,” he murmured.

“Really?!” the younger man gasped, his joy overwhelming. “Just like that?! No rejections?! No hurtful words?!”

The cop grinned and shook his head. “I’ll admit, Todd, it hurt to let you go. Now that you’ve come back, and as my lover, I’m not about to send you packing just as soon as I got you back. I also have a dark little secret.” Mark squirmed slightly in his seat, but pulled Todd into a deep hug. “I fell in love with you too. I’d hoped you’d come back to me, but I wasn’t going to force you into anything. I wasn’t going to say anything while you were younger, but when you were a man, like now, I thought I’d tell you. I’ve demanded honesty of you for a long time, and I still will, bu what good would it do if I didn’t follow my own advice, you know?”

Todd sniffled and nodded, tears glistening in his eyes and spilling down his cheeks. “I was so scared…” was all he could say.

“I was too. Now hush, and let me tuck you into bed. It’s well past your bedtime, Todd Thatcher, and you can bet we’ll have a busy day tomorrow.” Todd nodded and bean to get up, but the instant Mark was on his feet, he scooped Todd up and carried him upstairs. “You’ll sleep in my bed with me from now on, young man, but we’ll keep your room as a guest room if you’d like. You’ll have free reign of the house, just as you always have, but be prepared to reap what you sow.”

The smaller man nodded dreamily, resting his head on Mark’s shoulder. “Yes, Daddy,” he whispered. But before Mark could address that last little murmuring, Todd was fast asleep.