One Foot In

Chapter One - The Man across the hall.


I had moved in the 14th of November. I remember that day because it was Friday the 13th when I had found out about the sublet. It was raining that Saturday and my ex-boyfriend had stuffed all my clothes in paper bags and left them out on the curb. I frantically tried to hail a cab, but on a rainy afternoon in Manhattan? Fergeddaboutit! So all my clothes were soaked. Fortunately, I wasn’t worried about anything but getting out. The scent of freedom was heady. Free, free at last after seven years of … what?

That was the painful thing. That we had been so ill-suited for each other and yet had stayed together. What was it inertia or love? And now that Joshua’s career was finally taking off, well, we had had the hard, lean years struggling to make ends meet together, maybe adversity was the glue that bound us. And now he was off to fame and stardom while I was still a temp receptionist who never seemed to get an acting role. Was that why things had crashed and burned? Was that why I was leaving? Professional jealousy? Or was it the long blond hair that I had found mixed with his pubic hair in bed that morning. Damn, he could have at least taken a shower before getting in bed with me last night.

I probably would have ignored his little peccadillo, little? My Josh? But I’d just heard from a college friend who had a place to sublet. Serendipity sang it’s song and I followed where it led me. I was off to a tenement so far west on Manhattan’s shore that you could smell the salt air of the harbor in the morning. It was one of those old walkups where the toilets were still in the hallway and the claw footed bathtubs were in the kitchen. My friend had told me it had once been a flophouse for sailors.

I gave up on the cab and grabbed my bags. I was tough, so I could hoof it. And that was how I arrived forty minutes later at 475 W. 17th St. I was soaking wet and my paper bags were rapidly turning into paper mache. I buzzed to be let in and there was no response. I double-checked the address, the ink was running but I was quite sure I was at the right place. I waited there feeling foolish when a slight man in his mid-thirties came through the doors. He looked at me at as I shivered. I admit I probably looked slightly better than a drowned rat.

“For whom are you waiting?” he asked politely.

Thank goodness he didn’t think I was some bag lady and tell me to get a move on.

“I’m looking for Sadie Angello.”

“You’re out of luck. She left.” He made to leave.

I shook my head, what the hell? “What do you mean, I talked to her just yesterday.”

“She left last night.”

“Oh fine.” I sat down on the stoop, I was soaked anyway, what did it matter?

He seemed to get a bit nervous. “You aren’t going to just sit there?”

“Look mister, not that it’s any business of yours where I place my butt; however, I was supposed to be subletting a room from her and now I have nowhere to go.”

He smiled. He had a lovely smile, sort of shy and self-effacing. “You’d better come inside with me. You’ll catch your death of cold out here.”

With some relief, I picked up my bags, which exploded all over the stoop. Suddenly we were intimates as he scooped up my lingerie (if can you call faded and torn bikini underwear and sports bras lingerie?) and helped me get it all inside. I began laughing. It’s something I do when I’m nervous or embarrassed.

He got out his key and opened the door. The building was dark but clean. It had a tiny narrow stairwell that curled around itself with fanciful wrought iron railings. The marble on the floors was well worn and pitted. I tried my best not to slip.

I had to admit he my rescuer was talented—he didn’t drop one item of mine as we headed up the stairs. Me, I kept dropping my clothes all over the place as we walked up three flights to his floor. As soon as he opened his door, I gratefully dumped my clothes all over his kitchen floor and sat down. It was a nice homey kitchen. Simple white curtains were on the windows. White painted wooden countertops and old style cupboards lined a wall. I wasn’t paying too much attention though, because I was crying.

“You could use a cup of tea.” He went to fill a copper kettle and set it on a small stove.

“I’m sorry. I’ve just really had a bad day, no, scratch that, a bad life. I’m sorry.”

“Not at all, Miss? Could you tell me your name?”

“Just cal Los Loser. Oh heck, it’s Cynthia. Damn me, forgive the self-pity.” I watched him pour the hot water. “And your name?”

He passed me a steaming mug of something herbal. I hate herbal teas, but it was hot and that made it acceptable. “Here you go. My name’s Leo Rosen.”

“Nice meeting you.” I extended a hand and he shook it. Nice strong handshake.

“Cynthia, would you like to talk?”

“No. I just need to figure out what to do now that I’m homeless.”

“You can’t go back to where you came from?” He turned a chair around and sat down on it, resting his chin on the chairback.

“I’d rather be homeless.”

“Say, I just thought of something. I’ll be right back.”

He walked out his front door. Trusting fellow, I thought, he’s leaving a total stranger alone in his apartment. He came back in a few minutes carrying a small white envelope.

He grinned. “It’s too bad that you are Cynthia Loser, because Sadie left this for Cynthia White.”

I reached out my hand.

“Here you go, Miss White.”

“Oh please, you’ve seen my undies, call me Cindy.” Life was beginning to look up. I opened the envelope and keys dropped out along with a folded note.

“She says she has to leave right away, but the Weird Sisters will take care of me.”

“That’s where I got the letter from.”

“The Weird Sisters?”

“The Rutkowsky sisters, but everyone calls them the Weird Sisters. They are the closest we have here to a concierge.”

“Concierge, how continental!”

“Well, why don’t I show you your new apartment?”

He opened his door and stepped across the hall.

I was taken aback. “You’re my neighbor?”

“Yes. Well, if you need anything don’t hesitate to knock. However, I must ask if you hear anything strange coming from my apartment, please don’t come over.“ He didn’t say anything more. I wanted to ask why, but this is New York City. It takes all kinds. Probably into rough sex or something.

I smiled and used my new keys to open the door to my new apartment and my new life. I felt like I should be breaking a bottle of champagne over my head to celebrate the inauguration into a life sans handsome cheating ex-boyfriend.

The apartment was a pleasant surprise. I could see there were two bedrooms and a living room. Of course it was all minuscule, not a single room seemed larger than 100 square feet. You entered into the kitchen and on one side was a living room and on the other side was a bedroom, which directly opened up into another bedroom. It was your typical tenement shotgun layout. Which of course didn’t allow much privacy. But at a sub-let price of $700 per month, I could afford it.

I took my clothes and dumped them all on the living room couch. I was home, at least until Sadie returned. She didn’t explain in the letter where she’d gone to or when she’d be back, but maybe she wouldn’t be averse to having a roommate when she did return? Or at least I’d have a chance to save up for my own place in her absence.

The kitchen was a bit too bold for my tastes. Sadie had painted it in cerise and yellow with matching print drapes. I turned around and ran into Mr. Rosen. “Is everything satisfactory?” he asked.

Now that I was less panicked I took stock of him. He had light blue almost grey eyes and thick, dark brown hair, a little longer than what was in style. He was dressed casually in blue jeans and a plaid flannel shirt. He was only a few inches taller thaselfself, with a thin, pointy face. All in all, I found him very easy on the eyes. With my luck he had to be gay! Then again, shouldn’t I swear off of men for a little while? Hadn’t I had enough of being tied down to Josh? Time to play the field! This was freedom.

“Yes, thank you! I really would be up the creak with out a paddle if you hadn’t come along!” I confess to simpering a little.

He gave another shy smile, “I guess I’ll be seeing you.” He was halfway out the door and I was torn between keeping him there and simply throwing myself on the bed and having a good cry.

“Yes. Be seeing you.” And he locked his door and headed out to wherever he had been heading when I came along.

I sat down on the living room couch. I knew I had to figure out my life anew. I had been going nowhere for so long. I needed to do something different. It was like Marlo Thomas in That Girl or Mary Tyler Moore. It was time to put me first for a while.

I hummed a bit under my breath and started putting my clothing up wherever I could to get things to dry. Soon the place was decorated in wet clothing. I also did some exploring. I found the bottle of rum and some Pepsi in the fridge. Sadie had told me in the note to use up whatever was in the apartment, and since I didn’t feel like running out again, I took her at her word. I turned on her radio and plopped myself on her couch with a large Rum and Cola. Most of my tears had dried up. It was a rainy Saturday in the city and my new life had just begun.

Curled up on the couch, I blissfully fell asleep. No, I didn’t pass out from too much booze, I had restrained myself. A knocking on the front door quite rudely awaked me. Knocking? More like the men in blue had decided on an unannounced raid. I yelled, “Hold your horses” and headed to the kitchen to find out if I should let the intruder in.

“Sadie, hurry up I got news,” came a bass voice from the other side of the door.

“Sadie’s not here-- what do you want?” There was a sudden, and I imagine startled, silence. And then.

“Who in blazing hell are you?” Well, with that attitude Mr. Voice could stay where he was in the hallway. I didn’t care.

“I’m the sub-lessee. Now go away. You can ask the Weird Sisters what’s going on.” I felt quite smug, since I had remembered to use the secret password.

“You let me in this moment. You’re in danger and you’ve got to get out.”

“Nice try, Charlie. I’m not buying it. So if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got some knitting to do.” Oh, I am clever.

I heard him stomp his way down the hall. It was dark out, but the kitchen clock said it was only 5:10 in the afternoon. I finally had my appetite back and was pleased that Sadie had kept the place well stocked with a healthful variety of snack foods. The nacho flavored Doritos in particular were calling out to me. Too bad I didn’t have any dip for it. I really needed to do a shopping list.

I froze when I heard a key in the lock. Was it Mr. Voice or Sadie? Too late I ran to put the chain on the door. He was in. And oh my, he was a big one! He looked like an escapee from that World Wrestling program that Josh was so fond of. Damn! Where was ex-boyfriend when I needed him? No, none of that. I grabbed a frying pan and held it over my head with my eyes closed.

“What are you planning to do? Poison me?” asked The Hulk. I opened my eyes. He was taller than Josh and Josh was 6 feet one when barefoot. And he had about 20 pounds on Josh, all in muscle. He was wearing a black tee that prominently displayed rippled biceps. He wore his hair long and tied back. His reddish gold hair with a mustache and sideburns made him look like a cross between Johnny Rebel and a 70’s musician. I held the frying pan higher. He slid right by me and sat on my couch.

“I don’t know what you are planning to do with that, but I like my eggs over easy.” Oh yeah, a comedian. Okay, it was loathing on first sight.

“Get Out!” I screamed.

“We need to talk. I don’t know what Sadie told you, but this place isn’t safe and she shouldn’t have involved you.” He practically took up the entire couch. I tried to look confident so I leaned against the door jam, still holding my weapon.

“Go ahead, talk. But don’t expect me to share my Doritos.” I tried to get the bag up from next to him, but he was quicker. He ripped them open, gave a half smile and ate. I nearly clobbered him then and there.

“How much did Sadie tell you?” He said with a mouthful of crunchy corn triangles.

“That’s none of your business.” Mexican standoff. He had my chips and I had the frying pan.

“Thor, she doesn’t know anything.” I whipped around to see my neighbor, Mr. Rosen, with a look on his face that was pretty near indescribable.

“Tor? Like a granite outcropping?” I asked.

“No, Thor like the God!” smirked my extremely humble intruder. He shouldn’t have said anything by all the hand signals Mr. Rosen was giving him to shut up. Thor was as dumb as granite and wasn’t twigging.

“Mr. Rosen, could you please explain to Thor,” I pronounced the ‘th’, like in the cartoons on television as to avoid any confusion with a pile of rocks, “that I am here quite legitimately.”

“Please call me Leo, Cindy. Actually, I was going to bring that up at our Tenant’s meeting tomorrow morning.”

Thor still wasn’t getting it. “Tenant’s meeting?” Leo flashed him another hand signal.

“Yes. All subletting must be approved by the Tenant’s Council.” Thor had this blank look on his face. At any moment I was going to explain to him to get with the program and that this was a ruse to get rid of the poor homeless girl.

“Leo, can we put aside the charade? Thor isn’t getting it.”

Thor decided to take umbrage. “It’s pronounced ‘Tor’ not ‘Thor’. It’s Norwegian. My family is from Norway.” He was really spelling it out and I could see he wasn’t too happy because his big blue eyes were flashing.

I rolled my eyes in return.

Leo was doing damage control. “We do have a weekly meeting, which Mr. Solveig almost always misses. But yes, the legitimacy of your tenancy will be discussed tomorrow morning. It may be that Sadie won’t be returning anytime soon.” He was again trying to signal secret coded information to Mr. Solveig.

“She doesn’t belong here, Leo,” Thor graveled in protest.

Leo cleared his throat, “Miss White may have every reason to be here and it behooves us to investigate further. She had informed me that she has nowhere to go and so it is an act of charity to allow her to stay.”

Now the big guy looked shocked and shot me a second look. Then, he got up to leave. Something Leo had said had finally gotten through to him. He lumbered through the kitchen and Leo made way for him to go out. “I’ll talk to you later, Leo,” he rumbled.

Leo smiled that sad little smile which I found was beginning to melt my heart. “Sure thing, Thor. Later.”

I heard him go downstairs and a door opened and shut.

I retrieved my bag of Doritos from the couch.

“It’s still raining, Cindy. Would you like to share supper with me rather than go out for food?” What a sweet man. I suddenly realized that this could be a problem. There’s an old family saying we have: don’t shit where you eat. I really should stop thinking in romantic terms and just consider Leo a friend. However, I couldn’t help but have feelings for him. He’d rescued me twice now in just one day and was cooking me dinner. How many times had Josh ever done that for me? Nada, Zilch, Zip. This man was a real keeper!

“Fine. What time should I come over?” I needed a hot bath, wash my hair, do make-up…

“Seven-ish? It’s nothing fancy just pasta primavera and a bottle of red.”

Oh life was looking up! “Sadie has some Rocky Road in the freezer. You aren’t lactose intolerant or anything?” Josh wouldn’t let a dairy product into the house because of his milk allergy. Oh dear, I could get really fat from this.

“Not at all. I love ice cream! Until later then.” I closed the door and did a happy dance. Okay, I know—rebound. I was on the rebound. No. that wasn’t it. I was decompressing after years of being hog tied and bound to whatshisname. There, I didn’t say Josh, d’oh.

I took a long hot bath. I thought I should send something special to Sadie for leaving me such a delicious collection of bath salts and oils. I really loved Sadie. She was special. We had met in a creative writing class. I was the vocal talent. The teacher had a theory that by inviting students over from the drama dept. to read the writers’ output, it might help them. I don’t know how well it worked, but she wrote me a kickass monologue that I used in auditions for years. Because it was original, it usually got the casting agents ears and it really was constructed to allow me a very good range of emotions. I got a lot of roles using it. Until about three years ago, I had been holding my own getting parts. And then I’d come down with the ‘flu and took some time off. Three years later and I still hadn’t gotten a part. The thing was I hadn’t been auditioning much. Well, time to change. I’d brush up that old monologue of Sadie’s and start getting my face out there again. Maybe even get a new look and some new headshots to go with it.

I oozed from the tub. I felt like I hadn’t a bone left in my body, every muscle was loose and relaxed. I dried my hair with ease. I wore it short in atheather cut which framed my face. Showing off my face was important. I’d lost seven years with ‘him’, but I was still a couple of years away from thirty. Honestly I hadn’t felt this hopeful in a long time. I used just a touch of mascara to bring out the green in my eyes. They are actually a muddy mix of hazel and green. But the green dress was the first to dry, so that was the way I would go.

I had all my documents in my large tote bag. I still needed to sort them out and get organized. I also needed to write a list of whatever was mine and I hadn’t brought. as das difficult. We had joint paid for so many items, but here I was in a fully furnished apartment. She had television and CDs and books. I felt so at home. It was odd. But that idea of Thor’s that I didn’t belong was just total bull. I felt like I had come home after being away for my entire life. There was something very right about this rundown little tenement that I couldn’t explain.

I completed my list of things I needed from the old place. I was wondering if Leo might be willing to help me move things. There wasn’t a lot. I really didn’t want any part of our entertainment system. I had my laptop with me. It really came down to maybe a box or two of books and a few CDs. What I really wanted was emotional support. I wished that Sadie were here. It would have been good to talk it all out with her. Over the years we had drifted a bit, mostly because she didn’t like Josh. Boy, she won’t she be happy that I took up her offer?

By the clock it was a few minutes to seven, and I was ready. I took one last look at myself in the bedroom mirror, grabbedkeyskeys and headed out the door.

Leo knew how to cook! Well, that’s one up on me. We spent a fine time chatting. I told him about my family, how my father died last year and mother moved to Arizona shortly afterwards. And how I didn’t have any other family. He said he was all alone as well.

He was different from most of the men I knew. He was a fount of humor and warmth. He spoke briefly about designing web sites when he could get the work and doing other odd jobs when he had to. And then after the topic of careers was done, well, ex-boyfriends who cheat and lie came up. I didn’t linger on it. There’s nothing more annoying to a guy than to be bored with tales of ex-relationships. Come to think of it, there’s nothing worse for a gal to have to listen to either. Leo spared me. He didn’t talk about lovers or exes. So I wondered again. Gay? All the good ones usually are either gay or taken. Yet, there was a certain chemistry going on between us. The way he looked at me, made me feel all woman.

We had reached the point in our meal where we were sitting on his couch. I had my feet curled up beneath me and I was ready to purr like a cat with my ice cream. He was sitting at the other end, also indulging his sweet tooth. So, of course, with such a perfect moment occurring there would be a knock on the door. Leo excused himself and went answered it. Wouldn’t you know it? Mountain man was there.

“Leo, you got company?” Did I mention that the man had been a Rhodes scholar? I waved casually across the kitchen to him from my spot on the living room couch. That I suppose was the nice thing about shotgun apartments, you can see from one end to the other when the doors are open. Leo’s living room opened directly into the kitchen.

Leo excused himself and went into the hallway. I snuck into the kitchen for more ice cream. Damn, I hadn’t had ice cream in about 5 years. Yummy! Leo had left his front door ajar. Almost everyone in the building did, it was more like a dormitory than a tenement he’d explained over dinner. I couldn’t hear Leo’s voice, which was, as usual, soft and gentle. Thor, on the other hand was quite audible.

“She looks human to me,” he rumbled.

Well, thanks. Clean living, good food and exercise, regular chiropractic and dental care and anyone can look like me!

Leo mumbled quite a lot that I couldn’t hear and then Thor said, “Well, I suppose we’ll find out at the meeting.” And I heard his footsteps shaking the floor as he walked away.

I hightailed it back to the couch and Leo came in looking worried. I felt bad for him. He really was such a decent guy, why was Thor bugging him? Leo forced a smile and sat down next to me. It was too soon for us to get intimate and I hhe fhe feeling that Thor had done something to ruin the mood, anyway.

“So what did the Thunder God want?” I admit to my voice being a bit rueful. Leo looked startled.

“Just some building business. You will be coming tomorrow? It will give you a chance to meet all the others.

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” I was staking out my homestead now and neither Thor nor any otpersperson here had the right to send me back into the cold.

“That’s good.” Leo yawned and looked tired. “Well, it’s been a terrific evening.”

“Okay, what did the dufus really say to you?”

“What?”

“We were having a great time, he comes in and now you look like you’re at a funeral. So what did the big idiot say to you?”

“I don’t think you should be so hard on him, Cindy. You don’t know Thor. He’s really quite bright, you just saw him on an off-day.”

Oh, really? I held my ground.

Leo continued under my silent glare. “He had just woken up after taking the night shift, and was rather upset to find that Sadie was gone.”

“And so he took it out on me?”

“Yes, umm-- no. He was, he can be very pleasant when he chooses. He’s an artist. Did you know that? You really should see some of this works. Splendid work, he really is very talented.” Leo babbled on, trying to paint his rude friend in the best possible light.

I blinked a couple of times. What was going on? “So you two are an item?”

Leo began to laugh. It was a good laugh, a tension relieving laugh, and the room began to go back to normal. He stretched out a hand and patted my knee. “I like you, Cindy! And no, he’s just a neighbor.”

The hand, I noted, did not stay on my knee. And the statement he’s just a neighbor wasn’t the testament to his heterosexuality that I had hoped for.

I got up, scooping up the last couple of tablespoons of ice cream from the bowl into my mouth and began to leave.

“Thanks for the scrumptious meal, Leo. I really appreciate it. You do a wonderful job of being a one-man welcome wagon.”

“Cindy, have I said something wrong?”

“NO, no, I just didn’t want to overdo it tonight. It was such a crazy day.” I smiled.

He walked me to my door, just across the hall. He came close to me, close enough for a good night kiss. Close enough for me to smell his cologne, which was something musky and woodsy at the same time. I closed my eyes and felt like a complete fool when he pecked me on the cheek.wavewaved and walked into my new home.

Suddenly, I was lonely. Last night I had talked to Sadie on the phone and been offered this apartment if I should need to get away from it all. I had gone to bed with my lover of over seven years. Now I was sleeping alone. I felt sorry for myself. But really, had I known what was going to be coming my way I would have counted my blessings.