Do I Really Want You?

Happy valentines day! I hope you enjoy this chapter I had to re-write it about 5 times before I liked it. Rate Review and Enjoy. Oh, and were still with Sonia.



“You’re back early,” Katrina said.

“What do you mean, it’s almost time for all of us to meet up,” I said, closing the door behind me and walking past her to take a shower.

“Yeah, but knowing you . . . you would have stayed there till the last minute, you love swimming that much,” Katrina replied.

Her eyes followed me around the room. She was trying to figure out what was bothering me. Or it was more like she knew I was bothered by something but she was trying to peg it down before she asked me about it. She never let me brood about things if she could help it. She didn’t want me holding things in until I exploded. She said I got real mean when I let things build up. I didn’t think so.

“I just didn’t want to be late, this project is important,” I replied, which was true.

“Or you just can’t wait to see lover boy right,” She teased.

“Leave me alone,” I snapped before I could control it.

I stomped into the bathroom and shut the door. At least I hadn’t slammed it. I turned on the light and looked at myself in the mirror. I looked pissed, But rightfully so. But I shouldn’t have taken my anger out on Katrina. She always teased me, this was nothing new. I was stupid. I sighed, walking over to the shower. I still needed to take one. I undressed, pulling the wet fabric from my skin. I set my wet things on the counter and then turned on the water. I stepped under it pulling out my ponytail holder.

I loved water.

It was such a calming element, Even though I had just got out of the hot tub standing under the warm spray was soothing. It helped me clear my head and calm down. I washed up, soaping down my hair and body and then letting the spray rinse it away. And with it went all of my earlier confusion.

“I need to apologize first,” I mumbled. “That would help.”

I hoped she wasn’t offended it wasn’t like her to be but . . . maybe I did. Next, I should get her advice. She
was the only one I could really talk to about this here. Usually I’d call my mom but she wasn’t here to really assess the situation and she didn’t really know that I liked Derrick. She didn’t really know that I liked boys’ period. She just figured that I was a late bloomer; which I was.

With that settled I turned off the water and then stepped out. I began drying off and as I did, I stopped and looked in the full length mirror hanging on the wall. Maybe I was so hurt earlier because I felt like I still wasn’t good enough for him, at least in the looks department. But I wasn’t that fat, I guess, I was just really curvy, I did have a little tummy but who didn’t. My stomach wasn’t bulging which was why I could get away with bikini’s. I had nice breast, still too big for my liking but honestly if they were smaller they wouldn’t look proportionate to the rest of my body. I had nice long shapely legs. They weren’t as long as Katrina’s but they were nice. And my butt was nice to it was round and big of course but I didn’t mind it as much as I did with my breasts.

I touched the place that Derrick had kissed yesterday. The place that had made me moan in surprise. I did want to feel more. Although the force of my desire had dimmed it was still there, like a dim light bulb flickering softly. I wanted to talk to him. But would he tell me the truth if I asked what had happened after I left?

I would discuss it with Katrina.

I pulled on my clean clothes and walked out of the bathroom. Katrina was sitting near the window a cigarette in her hand. She was tapping her foot and it seemed she had been glancing periodically at the bathroom door the whole time I was in there. She only smoked when she was upset.

“I’m sorry,” I said, staring at the carpet. “I shouldn’t have snapped at you.”

“Its fine,” She said as I came over and sat by her. “I do have a thicker skin then you.”

“So you forgive me, for being rude,” I asked looking up at her.

“Of course I forgive you, I was never mad at you,” She said in slight annoyance. “Besides I couldn’t stay mad at
this cute little face.”

She pinched my cheeks and I swatted her hands away. She took a drag of her cancer stick, and exhaled away from me. So it was something else that was bothering her. When she was done being upset she put her cigarettes out.

“So . . . are you going to tell me what happened,” Katrina asked, looking at me.

“About what.”

“Sony, don’t try that playing dumb shit with me,” She said. “Something happened between the time you went to the pool and came back . . . and it’s something to do with Derrick . . . you wouldn’t have gotten so upset at me mentioning him if it wasn’t so . . . so no denying that.”

“All right, you got me,” I said. “It’s just a little embarrassing.”

“Did he try and touch you inappropriately, do I need to go and handle him,” She asked.

“No, No, calm down,” I said. “It’s just . . . we were at the pool . . .”

“And . . .?” She pressed.

“Well, we were kissing and stuff,” I mumbled, “The life guard told us to break it up.”

“Seriously, Sony,” Katrina said laughing at me. “That’s all for a minute there you had me worried.”

“Well, it’s just that it got really intense for me . . . but I liked it and we were going to go somewhere a little private,” I continued watching as Katrina’s grin widened. “But as we were walking out of the swimming area we ran into Chelsea-“

“Did she do anything to you,” Katrina demanded.

“No, it’s just I was bustled out of the way by her friends and they were surrounding him, and one of them called me a kiss ass and She defended me but,” I said trying to say the next part right. “But she was touching him and I could tell that he liked it but it’s like I can’t affect him like she did, I’m usually the one affected.”

“Sony, first of all, you should have told who ever called you a kiss ass to kiss your ass, second, He’s a guy, third everyone is different and you’re not going to have the same reactions that someone else receives,” She said.

“I guess, but just because he’s a guy that doesn’t mean he has to give in,” I said. “Besides’ he was suppose to be going somewhere with me so that we could finish- I mean, so we could . . . um.”

“Ah, I see,” She said her eyebrows rose. “He got you all horny and now you’re frustrated because he left you hanging.”

“Sort of,” I replied. “I just don’t know what to do? Should I have fought harder to get him to come with me, and I don’t know if I should be mad that he let her affect him so easily after being with me.”

Katrina thought for a moment still smirking at me knowingly. I wondered if I did that to her, if I did I would need to stop because it was annoying.

“I would say, that you can be frustrated,” Katrina began. “It’s kind of rude to be with you one minute and then the next letting a girl run her hands all over you and not hiding the fact that you like it.”

I nodded.

“But if you really did want to lead him away, maybe you could have tried harder,” Katrina said. “I know you probably stood there hesitating and thinking too much about what was happening . . . in situations like those it’s all right to be impulsive.”

“But I didn’t know what to do, I couldn’t think until after it had happen,” I said. “It’s like I have a delayed reaction when it comes to confrontations.”

“I know, but, you like him, and he likes you, there are going to be obstacles he’s not the only one who needs to fight to show his “love” you have to put in some work to,” Katrina said. “This isn’t a one-sided thing; it’s a two person job.”

“You’re right,” I said sighing with a nod. “I have to try harder.”

“Yes, but don’t say it as if you did something wrong,” Katrina said patting my head. “You’re new at this like a newbie, and you’re bound to make a few, tiny miscalculations and such . . . Relationships don’t have a certain set of rules, there wild and unpredictable and that’s the way there always going to be.”

I liked how she refrained from saying mistakes. She knew how I was about that. But she was right. I really wasn’t giving her enough credit. Everything she said didn’t sound like something she was making up on the spot to pacify me. It felt like she knew what she was talking about from experience. I was actually very lucky she was sharing this with me.

“Thanks Trina,” I said.

“No problem . . . I actually like being on the other side of the spectrum this time around its a little exhilarating,” She said. “I feel so wise and all knowing.”

“Well you should, because you do know it all,” I replied. “And I’m not saying it in a rude way.”

“Sony, I know, you don’t have to give yourself a disclaimer,” Katrina sighed.

I just nodded tugging on one of my braids.

“Come on, it’s almost time for us to meet up,” Katrina said.

“All right.”


We were waiting in one of the lounges located on our floor like the one Derrick and I had been in. When I said we were waiting it was just Bobby, Ricky, Katrina and I. I didn’t want to entertain this thought but this probably meant that Derrick was still with Chelsea. I could tell that I was jealous but also my forgiveness meter was dwindling. I was ready to go on to full on grudge mode any second now. But surprisingly I was holding it together pretty well. I wasn’t letting it show but I was always good at hiding my emotions.

“All right, “I began. “I think we should look over the list and figure out how we’re going to find and collect some of the items we need.”

“Sounds like a good plan,” Bobby agreed.

Honestly I had at least expected him to turn up here on time. I wasn’t going to get my hopes up and think he was going to come straight to my room. That was asking a lot after spending the night with him and then sleeping most of it away like an idiot. Damn my stupid nerves.

“Hey don’t you think we should wait for Derrick,” Ricky asked.

“He knows where we are,” Katrina said. “Besides he knew we had a meeting, if he didn’t come with you guys who knows where he could be.”

Katrina had forgotten to mention who he might be with, but we both knew. I think we all knew because the boys exchanged a quick glance that I didn’t miss. The asshole. Now I was worried again.

“First, we should group them in order of their availability,” I said. “How easy they are to how hard they are to find.”

“Yeah, if it’s easily found then it might be the hardest items,” Bobby replied. “The places to look will be taken up, especially with that pesky one place per group rule.”

I nodded. What if . . . after I had left they had had sex? Or kissed? Or touched? or something along those lines. I wasn’t the only one worked up. And he was a stupid boy. What would I do? What could I do about it?

“I think we should keep the idea of buying some of our items,” Ricky said.

“Is that allowed,” Katrina asked.

“Well as long as it’s in the area and no one else thinks of it first,” I said turning the idea around in my head.

Maybe If I hadn’t been left feeling so wound up and stuff I could be a little less anxious about all this. After a while my body had calmed down the ache left but it had left a sort of bad taste in my mouth. Like when you get a taste of something and then have it taken away from you without finishing it.

“But we have to think of the costs,” Bobby said. “I think paying for an item should be a last resort, I don’t think they actually expect us to buy things so it’s like our trump card.”

“I can get behind that,” Katrina said. “I’m not trying to sound vain but spending my money on something we’re not going to keep sounds like a drag to me.”

Just then the door opened. We all turned and in walked the douche bag himself. He was dressed again and looked up as he closed the door. He cleared his throat a bit and looked at us a bit guiltily.

“Uh, sorry I’m late,” He said. “I got a little sidetracked.”

“MMH hmmm,” Katrina said smacking her lips.

I looked down at the note book in my lap as I wrote down our plan of action. It was easier to look at that then to glare at him. Plus, Bobby was looking at me like he was trying to figure me out. I didn’t like that look. I didn’t like to be one of his pet observations of the day. Yeah, I knew how he was he was very big on observing people. There have been times when I could tell he was instigating an event or conversation just to gage the results.

“Whatever, just get over here, you’re not getting out of not doing any of the work,” Ricky said.

Derrick just nodded. I tried to quench the very urgent need to feel like I wanted to punch him. I don’t know why but I felt like he would deserve it. He pulled up a chair and sat across from Ricky on the other side of the table that we had pulled up. Good.

“All right where were we,” I said ignoring him.

“We were going to start organizing the lists next,” Katrina supplied.

“All right, let’s start with the easy things,” Ricky said.

“Let’s keep in mind that we have to have our other two partners with us when we find things,” I said. “And that they may also have things that may be easier to get because they live here.”

They all nodded and began to lists things out. We would stop and debate over certain objects. I took the notes. It was easier to do that because if I wasn’t I would just be stewing at Derrick for the rest of our meeting. At least I wasn’t horny anymore that would make it worst. We ended up having at least 3 categories’ with all of our 15 items sorted into their respective place. We divided it into easy, moderately hard and then tricky. Because we were going to assume that everything was attainable seeing as we needed all of the items on our list.

We finished up a few minutes later and by that time the sun had went down. I looked out at the sky it was so pretty; the soft orange and red hues, the pink and peach thrown into the mix. I bet it looked great against the water. I thought of this as I tapped my pencil against my notes.

“All right that should be enough for the day,” Ricky said. “I need some fun time after that.”

“I know what you mean,” Katrina said standing to stretch.

He watched her, closely his eyes following her every movement. He must like her as well. It wasn’t surprising Katrina was attractive. We all stood, and started towards the door. I closed my notebook and got my bag putting my things back inside.

“Hey, um . . . Sonia can I talk to you for a minute,” Derrick asked.

I turned to look at him resisting the glare that was just waiting to come out. I saw Katrina eyeing me out of the corner of her eye. The boys had stopped as well. I was going to say no. But I didn’t.

“I guess,” I said carefully, keeping my expression neutral.

“I can take your stuff,” Katrina said moving towards me, then whispering. “Call me if you need me.”

She was worried about me. She was acting so contradictory. First it was like she was defending him and next she was worried about my well being, and acting distrustful. I wanted to ask her what was going on but I would save that for later.

“Come on you two, let’s give them some privacy,” Katrina ordered, ushering his friends out the door.

They grumbled but complied with her wishes. The door snapped shut and it was silent. I stood and faced him, crossing my arms. I couldn’t tell why I was irritated but I definitely knew I was.

“Do you want to sit,” He asked.

“I’d rather stand,” I replied.

“I know what you’re thinking . . . “He began.

Of course he did, he could read minds.

“I didn’t do anything with her,” He said. “At all . . . All we did was talk, I kept it very platonic.”

“I don’t know if I can believe that,” I said. “Wasn’t it you who told me just moments before we saw her that you’d make mistakes . . . how do I know you didn’t make one?”

“Because, I took very good care to watch my actions,” He said.

“I wasn’t there . . .” I replied. “Anything could have happened.”

“Then you have to trust me, I told you I’m working on it.”

“Why were you late then,” I asked.

I felt like a jealous lover . . . oh, I was one. Why was I even mad though? Was it because I didn’t know what had happened? Or was it because as much as I wanted to believe him . . . it was too hard to? I wasn’t there to see what he was doing. I know the Derrick he’s shown me the past couple of days but I don’t really know him. I just know that I like what I see. I can’t judge his character because I haven’t been around him for very long. I can’t say with 100% honest that I believed he didn’t do anything.

He was a guy, no he was a teenage male pumped full of hormones. What’s to say he didn’t go off and get a quickie? Katrina does it all the time and she’s a girl. She not even remotely manly and she still acts like them with her mind set. What’s a real guy going to do? I felt myself sitting down on the couch and I looked at Derrick. He was sitting next to me his hand on my arm. I didn’t like feeling like this. I was confused and for some reason angry and I couldn’t figure out why. I wasn’t use to these emotions. I didn’t like feeling like I was lost. I didn’t know what to do. Even with Katrina’s advice I wasn’t sure how to handle this type of thing.

“She had me take her to the beach,” He finally said.

I didn’t say anything.

“We walked for a while and that was about it,” He sighed. “I think she was doing it just to bother, Ricky and Bobby, they don’t like each other.”

“It took you an hour to walk along the beach,” I asked.

“Yeah, she tried to proposition me a few times, and I declined.”

“I see,” I replied.

He said that, but how could I be sure. They had had a long relationship and they were use to coming to one another to find . . . relief. I couldn’t read minds like him. How would I know if he was lying to me or not? I heard him sigh and I looked at him and then looked away. I wondered if all this mistrust I had was annoying to him. It would annoy me. It was annoying me. I wish I could just decide if I trusted him or not. It would make this a lot easier to sort through.

“It’s not annoying me,” He said. “It’s frustrating, I know I deserve to have you suspicious of me, I’m not new to this feeling, but trying to dissuade the suspicion is something I’ve never really done before, I never cared enough to.”

He was trying to pacify me. How did I know that this wasn’t some elaborate scheme?

“I’m not trying to play you.”

“I want to believe you, but you know I’m insecure you’ve been in my head, this is all new to me, and when you put me up against Chelsea, It’s almost unfair,” I said. “It’s not that I have no confidence, but when it comes to boys and relationship stuff, no, I don’t have anything giving me a boost.”

“But I’m with you and not her,” He said. “ if I really, really didn’t want to be here with you I wouldn’t have come back, And You have been up against Chelsea and I choose you again, I like you and right now I want to be with you . . . not her, trust me her offer is still open . . . but I’m not going to take it.”

I tried to think about this neutrally. I wouldn’t be around anyone I didn’t like. I don’t know about all that proposition stuff but he had a point. Maybe I had to take a risk and believe him. I was not a risk taker. But now I should at least try. I had to make an effort. Maybe I had to make myself stand up there with Chelsea and prove to myself that I was just as good as she was, or not only that but that I could stand beside her and hold my own.

“Do you forgive me now,” He asked.

My first impulse was to say no. It was just by habit. But my second impulse was to give him a maybe sort of answer to make him squirm my third impulse which seemed to be the good little angel sitting on my shoulder told me to just tell the boy yes and get on with it. Cheeky little angel. His phone rang interrupting my thoughts. He looked at it sighed and then answered.

“Hello, yeah, look, I can’t . . . “He began and then glanced at me. “Chelsea- I said no, just leave it at that.”

For some reason that made me really angry. The scales that were drifting towards forgiveness had a change of heart. I clenched my fists and then looked at him, he already could tell that I was angry but my look seemed to confirm it.

“Look, I gotta go,” He said. “No . . . Will you leave me alone if I do . . .Fine . . . I already agreed . . . tomorrow, I’ll meet up with you , now let me get off . . .bye.”

I stood up and walked towards the door. So now he was meeting her again; Unsupervised most likely. I felt my temper flaring and I wanted to scream and throw a tantrum. I didn’t even have his cell phone number like that, but she still did and she was unafraid to call him. How hard had he really declined her offers if he could so easily be trapped into one? She probably had no clue that he supposedly didn’t like her.

“Sonia, wait,” He called after me.

I ignored him, I was fuming. Was he just messing with me? I felt like I was being played for as the fool? How could he just do that . . . in front of me? Crap, I forgot my bag. I turned around to stomp back and get it real quick. I knocked into his chest. I forgot he was following me.

“Just listen to me for a second,” He asked, holding me by my arms.

“No, leave me alone,” I said. “I want nothing more to do with you.”

“Just let me explain.”

“What’s there to explain, your meeting up with your ex-girlfriend tomorrow who still likes you, and you’re going to “decline” her offers yet again, you’ll come back to me and explain that nothing happen,” I replied angry and trying not to yell. “But I doubt that nothing’s going to happen, I doubt nothing happened today, you’re a liar and you’re not even trying, you’re making me feel like I’m the mistress or something.”

“I never said you were a mistress,” He replied.

He was getting frustrated now.

“But I am like the other women, I do not want to be like that, I don’t want to feel like I’m doing something wrong by being with you,” I said trying to twist out of his grasp.

“You’re not doing anything wrong,” He said.

“Then why does it feel that way?”

He stopped, for a moment his mouth open poised to make a reply. He clenched his fingers around my arm as he was thinking. Did he finally get it now too? I didn’t want to be a mistress; I didn’t want to be the other women. If I was going to be with someone, I wanted it to be just the two of us, with no other strings attached. I let out a sigh and pushed his hands away again. This wasn’t going to work . . . was it?

All I keep doing is getting mad at him and he has to keep telling me that nothing’s going on. How was this anyway to start a relationship? There was no trust. I didn’t feel like I could trust him enough to let go of my worries. I looked up, and he was looking at me. Suddenly there was this fierceness in his eyes that wasn’t there before. My breath hitched in my throat and I took a step back trying to escape.

“W-why are you looking at me like that,” I asked, swallowing.

My throat felt dry.

His look was back to how I remembered it being . . . Cold, and intimidating. I took another step back and this time he followed. My back was against the wall and I wondered what it was that I had said. I felt trapped. He was just standing in front of me, his hands at his side and I felt caged in. I swallowed again. He was making me feel nervous. I wanted to look away. But I knew that if I did I was going to miss something.

“You don’t trust me,” He said softly.

He had read my thoughts. Of course I didn’t have to say anything to piss him off. He would just hear it whether I wanted to or not. I inhaled sharply as he stepped closer; really close invading my personal space to the highest degree. He never broke his gaze, and whatever he was trying to accomplish was working.

“No . . .” I replied.

It was probably mean to say it so bluntly but it was the truth. He may not be able to give it to me, but I knew how and that’s just how I am. I’m not going to lie. No matter how much better that probably would have made certain situations.

“Why,” He replied.

His hands came up, to rest beside my shoulders on either side. He was really close. To close and could probably feel the heat coming from me. My face was getting hot because I was becoming flustered. He was getting to me. The hairs on my skin were standing on end. The air was too volatile. There was too much tension. He was making me think too much. I took a steadying breath, feeling his mixing with mine. We were both warm.

“Y-you know why,” I replied.

He still held my gaze our faces to close. I felt my finger twitch as it sat on the wall besides me. He didn’t like my answer. But he wasn’t going to force it out of me this time.

“I don’t have to force it out of you,” He said, his voice low, and deep. “There are always other ways of making you talk.”

I shivered before replying, “Why do I even need to speak you can just pick it out of my head.”

“Where’s the fun in that,” He said, a dark smirk on his lips.

“T-this isn’t a . . . game,” I finished weakly.

His being this close was affecting me. I didn’t want it to. I was supposed to be mad at him, for being a douche bag. But instead . . . That heat had returned. It was hard to deny it. This wasn’t the time for this. His smirked broadened and his hand came up to touch my waist. He was going to pull me closer. I put my hands up between us, my breathing hard. That didn’t stop him, from leaning closer. It didn’t stop me from letting my arms be weakly pushed back. He still pressed against, crushing me against the wall and his body. I bit my lip and refuse to back down from his stare. Even if my body was giving in, my mind wasn’t.

He chuckled at that and an amused look replaced the coldness. I wasn’t to sadden by that fact. He looked better with warmer eyes. Even if it wasn’t tenderness and love placed in them, just yet it was still better. I swallowed again. I was feeling like I was going to overheat. How had he done this? He turned our argument into this . . . this . . . tension. He leaned forward and I didn’t move. I wasn’t going to turn away. But I should have. I should have turned and shoved him away from me. It wasn’t like I was weak or helpless. I had three older brothers, who all like to wrestle with me, like I wasn’t a girl, who I had to fight with over almost everything. I could take just one stupidly handsome and smooth . . . and seductive . . . and fine and pigheaded boy.
I could, I know I could.

But then he kissed me. It wasn’t a soft kiss but a fierce one, stealing my breath away. It hitched in my throat and I felt the last of my stubbornness evaporate. I tried not to cling to his shirt or give in. I couldn’t let him win. But I was about a thousand years to early to try and stand up to his pheromones. I felt that burning need inside me reawaken with a passion. My head was spinning. Wait. . . . Come back . . . why was he kissing me? Wasn’t he supposed to be ticked off? I tried to use my thoughts to distract me. To take away the feeling of his lips pressed against mine. The way his body was hard against me, as well as the wall. How it made me like his hardness. I wanted to press into him more, he was warm and I wanted to feel more. But there was no way we could get any closer than this.

It felt like he was devouring me, his mouth moving against mine, as I tried to keep up. I felt like I was going to go crazy. I was kissing him back with just as much force. My fingers curled around his shirt. His hands were on my body forcing me to be as close to him as possible. I tried to hold back the moan that seemed to be growing in my body. I moved my hands to his neck and wrapped my arms tighter around him. He started to deepen the kiss, and I could feel our tongues slipperiness sliding off the other. I shivered and let out a moan feeling the fire blaze. Derrick started to move away leaving me breathless and horny again.

“Didn’t I tell you that if you doubted me I’d leave you like this,” He said leaning his forehead against mine. “Breathless and aching for me.”

I moved my fingers to his hair, trying to find my voice. He started to move, the warmth of his body going with him. He was still looking at me, his eyes just as lustful as mine. His pupils slightly dilated. He acted before as if he had wanted to stop, or as if it was easy for him. He didn’t want to stop, just as much as I didn’t. He tried to move my hands away from him and step away from me but I followed my hands in his hair. I held onto him tight. Not really sure what I was going to do. He couldn’t leave me like this. Not after earlier today when he said we could finish, and not after pissing me off, and then trying to smother me in lust.

I leaned forward on my toes and pressed my lips to his again. He didn’t resist his arms moving back around me. I pressed against him insistently. And felt him pressing back against me. I knew he didn’t want to leave. Besides he wasn’t going to leave until I became un-frustrated. I was getting a little greedy I know but, I need to feel more of him, and all of this. He pulled away again, this time holding me by my shoulders to keep me at bay. We were breathing hard and the sound of it filled the room.

I looked up at him biting my lip, my hands curling around his shirt. He was such an asshole first pissing me off then trying to leave me all horny. I tried to move closer again and he held me back, looking like he was torn between staying and leaving me wanting as he had planned. He looked away for a second and I moved near him again. And his grip tightened on my arm.

He looked at me again.

He suddenly pulled me close to him and kissed me again, backing me against the wall. I held on to him. Trying hard to suppress my triumph at getting what I wanted. His hand went to my waist squeezing me tight, then moving lower to grab my ass. I jumped at that, but I didn’t want him to stop again. He just couldn’t. His hand followed the curve of my ass and he was lifting my leg to wrap around his waist. I complied, and moaned again as I felt his erection rubbing against my ache. It was embarrassing but it felt good. It was helping. Our tongues moved with one another again and I moved my hands to his hair again, gripping it hard, squeezing my leg around him harder. I moaned into his mouth.

He pulled away breathing hard. He was staring at me in an unfocused way. I stared back, he couldn’t stop now. I wasn’t going to let him go. He was the one who turned this sexual. It was his fault I was feeling this way.

“You can’t leave me like this,” I whispered. “You just can’t.”

“It’s not my fault you’re horny,” He replied.

“I wasn’t the one who started things in the hot tub,” I snapped back. “Finish what you started.”

“That would be counterproductive here,” He said. “You’d miss the point.”

He said that, but his hands were still roaming all over me and his cock was still hard. He was going to give me what I wanted.

“Damn, a point,” I replied. “You need to make this ache go away, you have to.”

I whimpered the last part feeling him shift his self against me. He rubbed his cock against me, letting me feel his heat. I felt myself shivering and clinging to him tighter. Even though our clothes he was burning hot. I moved my hands through his hair and arched into him.

“Stop tempting me,” He said moving his lips against my neck roughly.

He was losing it. I was going to have my way. I moaned again. He had done this, made me lose my mind. I pushed back against him. He moved lower, and sucked on my collar bone. I embraced the feelings, high on the pleasure. I liked feeling good like this. The sounds of our breathing seemed loud in my ears; it was almost all that I could hear. I don’t think I could have stopped. His mouth moved lower and he lifted my shirt.

I could feel my cheeks heating up, my modesty wanting to return but my lust won, and as his lips touched my skin, I let out a moan. The heat pooling heavily in my lower body . . . I was definitely horny again. He kept rubbing and rocking against me. Damn, that felt good. The pressure of his cock against my heated mound felt good. He pushed himself against me harder at that and I let my head fall back and my soft moans started to gain pitch.

“Don’t get mad at me later,” He mumbled into my skin.

I started to ask why but instead I felt his fingers at the waist band of my shorts. I felt a thrill run through me and a bit of nervousness twinge inside me. But I didn’t stop him. He moved his fingers lower, meeting the sparse tangle of curls that covered me. He let his fingers move lower and I inhaled sharply as he touched me.
It was weird, it made me feel so awkward and vulnerable but at the same time it felt really good. I wanted to push him away and pull him closer all at the same time. Both urges were strong and I didn’t know which to listen to. Derrick moved his lips back over my skin kissing my breast holding me close to him and using his fingers to touch me. It had to be my clit right, that’s what it called. He moved his fingers in a circular motion rubbing me, making that swollen bit of flesh control my body. I moaned for him my hands still in his hair my leg still wrapped around him. It felt good. It was weird. I felt exposed but I wasn’t. I could feel my heart pounding and my breathing was very erratic.

Yet if he had stopped I would have cursed him and made him . . . somehow . . . keep touching me. He smirked against my skin briefly before moving my bra aside to suckle my breast. He wasn’t rough but he wasn’t gentle either. I felt every bit of him. I bit my lip as a particular loud moan tried to free itself from my mouth.

“So the little bird likes it does she,” He whispered into my ear. “Do you still want more?”

Yes, I wanted more. I was addicted I needed this; I didn’t want it to stop. He pressed against me harder and then moved his mouth to mine as he slipped his finger inside me carefully. I gasped into his mouth. I had never felt . . . I didn’t even do stuff like this. He moved his finger carefully, even though I was dripping wet it still was a tight fit. He kept kissing me smothering me in pleasure. I moaned louder gripping him tighter and trying to make things make sense.

He moved his finger smoothly still kissing me moving his lips to that one part of my neck groaning against my skin. I kept hearing him mumble things. “So tight” and “so warm” to name a few of them. I could still feel his erection pressing against my thigh. For a moment I felt guilty that I was the only receiving anything. In a moment of insanity I reached between us and grasped him lightly. The action tripped him up but he still pushed into my grasp. He looked up at me his eyes burning his lust apparent. He continued to move his finger and maneuvered his hand so that his thumb was rubbing over my clit. I bit my lip. I didn’t want him to see my moaning face. I didn’t even know what it looked like.

“Sonia . . .” He said.

I looked back up at him towering over me. His hands still moving, my body still responding; I was getting wetter. I moved to let go of him and he kept my hand where it was.

“Sorry . . . I just . . .” I began, my fingers twitching.

I felt him closing my hand firmly around him and I whimpered as I felt his heat even better. Derrick watched as he moved his hands. He was showing me how to grip him and hold him. I felt the movements but it was hard to pay attention when he was touching me like he was. I felt like I had to go pee almost. Derrick let go of my hand as I got the hang of it and moved his other hand around my waist pulling me close. He moved his finger a little faster rubbing my clit harder. The more he pressed on me the more sensitive my body felt.

“Hold me tighter,” He said into my ear.

It felt like something was running done my spine and it felt good. I loved his voice and the way it sounded in my ear. He chuckled his voice running through my body and my senses I squeezed my leg tighter. I moved my hand around him better squeezing him like he asked. He moaned into my ear. I felt his finger sliding more easily inside of me and then he carefully added a second one. I whimpered softly again. It still stung just a little. It wasn’t that I wasn’t wet enough it was just the sensation of those muscles being stretched farther than they ever had before.

“Does it hurt,” He asked.

“No, just a little uncomfortable,” I breathed, stroking him softly.

I was starting to get the hang of it and he just rubbed my clit for a moment feeling my touches. It helped actually it was making his fingers feel good. I squeezed him tighter feeling his cock hardening further. It made me feel good actually. I got a man hard. He tried to resist his laugh as he moaned. I let out a smile at that and then bit my lip again as he started to move his fingers. I gripped him tightly for a moment my head falling back against the wall. It felt good. His fingers were touching things inside me that . . . I felt a thrill run through me . . . I kept stroking him . . . gripping him tighter as I felt something building inside of me.

I gripped him tightly with my leg and my hands and felt him moving his lips near my breast again. I cried out as he nibbled one between his teeth; Careful not to bite me. I tried to remember to keep moving my hand but it was hard. Something was coming. I wanted to tell him to stop. The pee feeling was coming back now. Something was coming.

“Derrick . . .” I moaned. “I think . . . I need . . . to.”

“Just let it come,” He said into my ear. “Your fine.”

It still felt weird something was coming. He moved my hand away from him, carefully and instead moved it inside of his pants. I gasped and opened my eyes staring right into his. He led my hand to his cock and made my fingers curl around him. I was embarrassed to be holding him like this. I didn’t know what to do anymore. He had me move my hand.

“Sonia . . . just do what you were doing before,” He said against my neck, I shivered. “Just stroke me up and down.”

He kissed my heated skin more still moving his fingers and I did as he said. Up and down. His skin felt smooth and he had . . . girth. I kept up my strokes feeling him rock into my hand still touching me still rubbing me pressing harder against my clit making me feel like something was going to break and be set lose. I moaned even louder this time unable to stop myself. Something was coming it was going to come out.

“Derrick . . .” I whimpered again.

“Cum for me, Sonia,” Derrick said into my ear letting out a rough groan.

“Wha-,” I moaned.

His fingers moved faster and harder, I cried out from his force clenching my fingers around his cock, hearing his sounds in my ear. I clung to him tightly feeling my hips begin to move into his hand. Oh . . . something . . . Damn . . . He pressed his thumb against me and rubbed hard. I cried out as something broke loose. I clung to him hard and felt my body trembling and shaking. He held me to him as I experienced my first orgasm. It was embarrassing saying that but I felt exhilarated at the feeling. I wondered if this is what it felt like to get high. My whole body felt like it was feeling good. Even my clothes rubbing against my skin felt good. My nipples pressed against his chest felt good.

“You ok,” He whispered against me.

“Y-yeah,” I whispered back.

“Can you let up a bit,” He asked.

I vaguely felt my fingers in a death grip around his cock, I loosened my grip a bit and he breathed a little easier.

“Did it hurt,” I asked.

“No . . . it was just . . . too much,” He replied the lust still in his eyes.

But I also could see his desire; he was all horny and tense now. My skin felt sticky and sweaty and he was hard in my hands. He clench his jaw for a second moving his hands from my pants. I shuddered at the feeling of his fingers leaving me. It surprised me as he put them to his lips licking them clean. I was unsure of how I felt about that. I mean was that healthy. But he didn’t look disgusted

“Every taste is different,” He murmured to himself.

His cock was still in my hand still hard and as I moved my fingers up I could feel it leaking. This was called pre-cum right. I touched and tried not to pull away. It wasn’t bad just different. I used it to give my hand more leeway. I began to move my hand a little faster. I stood up a little straighter; my leg was getting numb being wrapped around him like that. I could feel my juices slipping down my thighs. And Derrick had his eye closed he leaned his hands against the wall, bracing himself.

“You don’t have to . . .” He began but stopped as I let my grip tighten as I stroked him.

“But . . . you look like you need to . . . ah come too,” I said my cheeks burning.

I kept stroking him squeezing him and watching as his face changed with his feelings. He looked so different like this. I wondered if I looked the same. He was so exposed and vulnerable. And it was cute. He was going to say something about that opening his mouth but I gripped him tighter and he was groaning for me then. Wow. I kissed his neck softly letting my small kisses explore him as he had done to me. I moved them towards his lips and I kissed him again. He was moaning into my mouth helplessly, like he couldn’t control it and he was rocking into my hands and kissing me back fiercely.

I pulled away to look at his face again. I liked seeing him like this. I like the fact that I had made him like this. He pressed me tighter against the wall still rocking into my hand his head leaning over my shoulder.

“Is this right,” I said softly.

“Yeah,” He breathed.

“Do you want it faster,” I whispered into his ear kissing it softly.

“You’re doing fine,” He said, gritting his teeth and then failing to hold back his groan.

I moved my other hand into his pants, and used both of them to stoke up and down. It was like his knees were starting to buckle and his sounds were more steady his rocking was erratic and his breathing hot and heavy against my ear. I felt a thrill trickling down my spine at that. I gripped him tightly and moved my hands as fast as I dared feeling him start to throb in my hands.

“Derrick . . .” I whispered.

“Yeah,” He answered back trying to hold back.

“C-come for me,” I said blushing.

“Shit . . .”He moaned. “Shit . . .”

I felt him crush me against the wall and I felt something building inside of him. He was shaking a bit before his thrusts into my hand became erratic and something spilled into my hand. I kept stroking him, ignoring my surprise. I looked over at him breathing hard and cursing under his breath his cock still throbbing and spilling his seed until he collapsed into me. I felt him breathing against me and holding me there. I let him go when I felt him start to grow limp. He pulled me to him kissing me, long and deep I responded wanting to wrap my hands around him but my hands were . . . sticky.

“You messed up my exit,” He said as he pulled away. “I was supposed to leave you all wanting and aching and you went and made me give in.”

He said this with a sigh and a grin, I smiled back shyly. My mind was coming back to me and now all my embarrassment was consuming me.

“You messed up my head,” I replied softly. “So you started it.”

“And you finished it,” He replied. “How did it feel . . . your first orgasm?”

My face started bursting in heat and I started to reach to tug on my braid but he caught my hand, kissing the back of it. He already knew how it felt. He had heard my thoughts. But that wasn’t going to stop him from teasing me. He smirked at that. He seemed to be in a really good mood.

“I always feel good after busting a nut,” He replied smirking at me.

“How can you refer to it so crudely,” I said, my embarrassment gone for the moment.

“It got you out of your shyness,” He said tipping my chin up to his. “Although . . .

His eyes were staring downwards and I followed his gaze. My shirt it was still exposing everything. My shirt, I yanked down immediately watching as Derrick grinned at me. He really was in a happy mood. I rearranged my clothes.

“Just relax, Sonia,” He said, pulling me away from the wall, my . . . cum slipping down my thighs. “It was only you and me, and I’ll keep this between us.”

“I know I’ve just . . . never acted like that before,” I said.

“You’ve never just let your hormones lead you, I know,” He replied grabbing my bag for me I opened it and found
a napkin wiping my hands and then putting on hand sanitizer. “But wasn’t it a great feeling?”

“Yeah . . .” I replied quietly.

“Are you still mad at me,” He asked next.

“Just a little,” I said as he took my hand in his. “Just because you sexed me up doesn’t mean I forgot.”

We were silent as we left our little den of sin. Derrick was brooding for the moment from what I could tell. I liked holding his hands. Hands that I now could never look at without remembering how they had been touching me and moving all over my body. I shivered from the memory feeling tingles forming over my skin. Derrick squeezed my hand in reply. He had heard. I had to learn to control my thoughts. This was getting very inconvenient for me. Because he always had the perfect ammo to tease me with.

“I know you’re not going to forget,” He finally said. “But you can trust me . . .”

I nodded. I still was leery but I had to learn how to get over my trust issues anyways. Derrick walked me to my door and I looked around carefully before pulling him down to kiss me again. I don’t think I could ever get enough of these lips. I loved them. I loved him and my feelings were growing stronger. He kissed me back. And then we pulled away.

“You gotta stop with the tempting thoughts,” He breathed shakily. “I only have so much will power not to jump your bones in a day.”

I smiled at that and he chuckled before telling me goodbye and walking away. I watched him for a moment before opening the door to my room and stepping inside.