The Shadow I'm In

“So, what are you playing?” Crimson asked, looking to the screen and wrinkling her nose as her cousin slashed a head off another character.

“Nothing you would be interested in.” Roden stated, tilting his hands to the side slightly and sticking his tongue out of his mouth. I had to hold back a small smile from crossing my lips. Both of them seemed very intent on the game that was currently being played on the television. Even if Crimson, who didn’t want to seem like she was interested, was. Her eyes hadn’t left the screen since we entered into the room. “So Basil, what do you do for fu- Ah! You son of a bitch! I’ll kill your ass!” The Native American looking boy started, but ended up shouting at the screen as his character almost died. He recovered though. I did smile then, covering a small laugh with my hand.

“Aw! Basil you laughed!” Crimson cooed from her place on the swivel chair. “Look at that Roden, someone finds your antics funny.”

“Like I said before Crim, fuck you. You stupid wanker.”

“There he goes again with the British slang.”

“Anyway, as I was saying before I had to go medieval on that monster’s ass-”

“You mean as he was kicking yours?” Crimson interjected. Roden ignored his cousin.

“What do you do for fun Basil?” I had to pause for a moment to think. What did I do for fun? I mean I guess I was a gamer to a point, though not as big of one as Roden seemed to be, but still one. I did enjoy getting on the internet and looking up different kinds of RPG's, though only ones that didn’t require me to make friends with people in order to advance in the game. Other then that, what did I do? Nothing really. Hung around the house doing nothing, watching a little bit of TV every now and then.

“Umm. I guess I enjoy online RPG's.” I stated, my voice kind of hesitant.

“He gets gamer mag's. I was looking at some while we were over at his house. His parents are kinda snobs though so I was surprised that they ordered them for him.” Crimson explained, her eyes still glued to the screen where Roden had met up with one of his teammates and was discussing strategy.

“Th-they are-aren’t that bad.” I stuttered out, feeling my cheeks heat up.

“That’s cool. Wish my mum and dad would order me mag's like that.” Crimson then grabbed a pillow that was laying on the floor next to the chair she was sitting in and processed to hit her cousin in the head, making my mouth almost drop open. “Fuck Crim! What the hell was that for?!”

“You don’t need them, stupid. They buy you all the games and systems you could ever want.” Roden was still rubbing his head where she had hit him.

A knock sounded at the door then, Roden shouting ‘come in’ while he put his game on pause and glared at Crimson. It was Eden who peeked around the door.

“Roden, get your old suit for Basil and show him where the bathroom is. They’re going to need to get going soon and he needs to change.”

“Kay mum.” The darker skinned boy stated before standing up, taking off his head set and laying it with his controller on the floor in front of where he had been sitting.

“Oh, and help him put it on if he needs help. Those things can be so complicated. I don’t see what men can’t just wear dresses like us women. All you have to do with those is slide it up or down your body. Not bothering with all those buttons and zippers and everything.”

“Alright mum. I’ll help him.” It showed in the teen boy’s voice that his mother was getting on his nerves.

“Sorry, went off on a tangent again.” The women apologized.

“Not at all Aunt Eden. Though there would have to be only a few guys that could pull off wearing a dress. I think Roden and Basil would be part of that group though.” The teen girl flashed the two of us a grin, an idea dancing behind her eyes. I looked over at Roden with an unsure look and it seemed he was thinking the same thing I was, because he was scowling at her as if to say, ‘don’t even think about it.’

“Come on Basil, before they really mean to put us in dresses.” The other boy stated, walking passed his mother into the hall. I jumped to follow after him, offering a small smile to the woman that still stood by the door, discussing men’s fashion with Crimson.

“This way.” Roden motioned when I had made it out of the danger zone. The suit that I was going to wear was laid over his arm as he walked down the hallway. It wasn’t too far to go to reach the bathroom, we were there in about a minute or two. “Here you go.” He pushed the suit into my arms. “Just try to put it on, if you need any help I’ll be out here. No way I’m risking going back there while those two are discussing which men would look good in a dress.” He stated, leaning against the wall and sliding down it so he was sitting on the floor.

“Th-thanks.” I stated walking into the bathroom and shutting the door behind me. It seemed that I was finding myself in bathrooms more often then not lately. I looked at the suit like it was going to bite me or something. In truth I don’t ever remember wearing a suit to anything.

I started with the pants, taking them from the hanger and placing them on the sink. I took off my own pants and folded them neatly. This just seemed so weird to me. Wearing someone else’s suit and changing in their home.

It took me about 30 minutes to figure it all out and Roden had to come in and help me with the shirt, vest, and jacket. We weren’t sure if I had to wear a tie or bow tie though so we left the first two buttons undone at the top. By the time we were done we were laughing and joking back and forth. Roden was nice, kind of like Crimson but in a toned down kind of way and a boy.

“Aww! Basil you look so cute!” Crimson stated as we walked back to Roden’s room. My cheeks heated up then. I didn’t think I looked any different. My eyes went down to the floor, slightly embarrassed.

“Leave him alone, Crim.” Roden told his cousin as he went back to sit down in front of his television, picking up his controller and head set.

“Whatever.” The girl said and stood up from where she had been lounging on Native American’s bed. She took my hand when she reached me and started for the door. “Come on, let's go show mom and dad. Then we can go. I’m starving.” She looked over her shoulder at her cousin. “See you later tonight Roden!” She stated, seeming nicer to her cousin then, then she had been for the whole night.

I saw Roden look over at her for a moment, I couldn’t describe the look on his face when he looked at her. She only giggled softly though, waving and heading out the door, my wrist still grasped in her hand.

We walked down the hall until we entered the room that we were in before going to see Roden. The four adults were sitting on the two couches in the room talking, but they turned their heads over to look at the two of us when we entered into the room.

“Aww, Basil, you look so cute!” Mrs. King cooed from her place next to her husband, making my cheeks burn up once again, not that they didn’t darken when all four pairs of eyes turned our way, of course.

“That’s what I said! But Roden was just like, ‘leave him alone Crim.’” Crimson stated from beside me.

“I think that suit looks better on you then it ever did on Roden.” Crimson’s aunt stated getting and from her husband that was beside her. “Roden never did look good in suits as it was though. Basil, honey, I think you’re made for them.”

“Well flattery aside, I think we should be heading out. Who knows how long it will take to seat us even with a reservation.” Mr. King stated. Why was it always the men that save me from compliments and embarrassment?

“You’re so right, dear.” With that the four adults stood and hugged each other, Eden even came over and hugged me. I was totally surprised when the arms came around me that I didn’t even hug back. She let me go a smile on her face.

“We’ll see you guys later tonight. I’ll make sure that Roden is ready to go. I’ll find a way to pull him from his beloved video games.” Crimson’s aunt stated as she walked us to the door.

“Alright. We’ll see you soon. And maybe we’ll even bring you our doggy bags or something.” Eden laughed softly while Frank stood behind her with a smile.

“Of course. We’ll be looking forward to it!” With that the two sisters waved to each other and the King family and I walked back over to their car.

We got into our seats again and buckled up before heading out. I wanted these people to be my family. They wouldn’t push me aside because he was better at sports then I was. Of course they probably didn’t know who he was, expect Crimson, who was once again texting on her phone. These people seemed so happy with each other. Even to the point where they could joke about things and not get upset, like sleeping with each other’s husbands in Mrs. King’s and Eden’s case.

“So that was my sister and her family. Not too bad was it?” Selima asked, looking back at me from her place in the front seat. I shook my head and offered a little smile. I was opening my mouth to say something but Crimson got there first.

“Him and Roden seemed to get along rather well. They seemed really comfortable around each other after Basil came back from putting on his suit.” Her gray eyes shifted over to me. “Did something happen with my cousin that I should know about?” She asked, a small smirk coming to her lips, making my cheeks heat again and my muscles tense.

“N-no.” I stated, my eyes down at the floor. Nothing had happened. He was just someone that I could easily talk to. “H-he’s like you.” I stated, making her glare at me after a moment and bring a laugh from the front seat.

“He is right, Crim. You and Roden are very much alike, no matter how much you two want to deny it.” Fritz stated, looking in the review mirror at his daughter.

“We are not! We are totally different!” Crimson whined and defended herself. I smiled though, it was quite funny in truth. They seemed to act like they disliked each other, throwing insults after insults, but they were very much alike and they liked each other. It was clear because their voices were never really in it when the insults came out.

Crimson wrinkled her nose and said that she didn’t like any of us anymore and went back to her texting. Selima then stated that it was price to pay since she had brought up the subject and that I was only being honest. Then it was quiet in the car, just the sound of the tires on the road to fill the silence.

We arrived at the restaurant within thirty minutes of leaving Crimson’s aunt and uncle’s house. It was packed. People in fancy clothing were everywhere. Coming out, going in. Short dresses, long dresses. Black suits, white suits. It was all there and it wasn’t even dark outside yet. My stomach started to feel nervous. Were Crimson and her family closet rich too? Just like Mr. and Mrs. David? Fritz pulled up to the valet and told us all to get out. We followed the directions. My hands were sweating as I pulled open the door and stepped out. I was nervous. What did I look like next to these people? Even next to Crimson and her family. Would they know that I’ve never been in a suit before tonight? And that this suit wasn’t even mine? I walked over to where Crimson was standing next to her mother as her father signed for the car to be placed.

“Don’t be so nervous.” The blonde girl stated, grabbing onto my hand and squeezing slightly.

“I-I’m n-not.” I stuttered out, my eyes trained to the ground. Her hand was still holding mine as we started to move. It was a comfort to have her hand on mine. It made me feel less alone in this sea of nicely dressed people.

“You are. You’re eyes never focus on anything other then the ground when your nervous or feel intimidated or embarrassed.” My eyes looked up at her then, holding a hint of disbelief in them. “Oh, come on. Like you haven’t noticed before. You do it all the time.” The girl explained. Did I really do that? Did I drop my eyes to the ground all the time like she said? “See. There you go again.” She stated as my eyes went to the ground. I looked back up quickly, my cheeks turning a red color as we entered the restaurant.

The conversation stopped though when my eyes raised and looked around us. It was beautiful. It was like nothing I had ever seen before. The wood was all oak and the atmosphere was dark and kind of romantic feeling with the reds and the darker colors that accompanied it. The people that were seated and were waiting to be seated were beautiful too. The waiters and waitresses were well kept and young looking, not a hair out of place as they worked around the people that had come to this place to eat. Even if the atmosphere was relaxed there was still an air that things were being rushed about. The way the doors swung on the way to the kitchen over and over again, the scribbling of pens onto pads of paper.

I wasn’t even paying attention as the hostess seated us, not until I was handed an expensive looking menu with a thin golden, braided rope threaded through the parchment, and a stiff leather cover. I let a small smile come to my lips as my hands took the offered object from the girl. She was smiling sweetly at me. I was the last one to receive my menu and when I had taken it she said that our waiter would be over in a few moments for our drink orders.

“So Basil, what do you think so far?” Mrs. King asked me, looking across at me from her place at the rounded table. My eyes shifted around again the restaurant.

“Its amazing.” I stated, my voice almost in awe. I didn’t even seem to be nervous anymore. The two adults chuckled softly.

“Yes, they did quite a good job with this place. In truth I wasn’t expecting this. I was expecting something less I think.” Selima stated, she too was looking around the French restaurant. “Now what does everyone want to drink?” The woman asked, flipping to the page with the list of wines, cola's, tea's, and juices.


“So do you think that one’s hot?” This was what started after we had placed our orders for our drinks and food. Crimson had started asking over and over again which waiter that I thought was good looking.

It had started with ours. She had outright asked him if he was gay, the poor guy didn’t know what to say or think. I felt sorry for him, but then the girl stated that I was and that we would look good together. Her parents all but pulled her out of the restaurant. They were apologizing to the waiter and to me over and over again. He offered a smile and said it was okay but he was still uncomfortable with us from that point on, mostly with me though.

“No.” I stated, not even looking up to see who she had pointed out this time.

“Crimson. Leave him alone. You’ve already embarrassed the poor boy enough for one night and we haven’t even eaten yet.” Mr. King stated sending a glare to his daughter.

“Oh come on, Dad. Let me have a little fun. What’s the point of having a gay friend if we can’t check out guys together?” The girl asked, turning back around so she could look at the other occupants of the restaurant.

“I ne-never re-remember tell-telling you I was g-gay.” I stated and I didn’t. She just assumed. She had assumed right and I had never corrected her but that was besides the point.

“You are gay though.” The blonde haired girl stated without even looking at me. “You never look at any girls like you do that Ken guy that’s on the team with your brother.” She stated, making me choke on my own spit. I looked at him differently then I did anyone else? Her hand was patting my back as I got control of my breathing.

“Are you okay Basil?” I heard Selima asked with a worried tone. I managed to nod my head, with my breathing coming in deeper trying to restore what oxygen was lost.

“I don’t look at him like anything.” I stated, my eyes going over to Crimson.

“Yes you do. You have this look of anticipation on your face every time you look at him.”

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A/N: I'm sorry it took so long! Ugh. My summer has been hell. Burned my feet at work with 1st and 2nd degree burns and couldn't even walk for about a month, plus on a bunch of meds that made me pass out all the time. Doing better now but they are still open wounds. But I got the chapter done! Yay!