Battle of the Heart

Lamar grunted as his arms cried out in protest at the weight of the wood he was carrying. After a week of doing this he had thought he would be used to it, but manual labor still left him feeling weak, exhausted, and inadequate. They had decided that it would be best to wait for the next series of fox fights to make their move. It would likely seem odd if Lamar were to return so soon, and with a gold fox to boot. There was also Aryan to consider. Lamar had no doubt that there victory against Suvan would not go unnoticed, and if he were to show up now without Aryan it would surely draw attention.

Speaking of Aryan, Lamar was rather surprised to find the other fox sitting by their fire when he returned. Lamar and his two foxes had set up a small camp of their own outside of the wild foxes' camp. Lamar knew they had done this mainly for his comfort, and he appreciated the act, though he really didn’t feel it was too necessary. Though the wild foxes still remained very hostile to him none of them had tried anything. Lamar knew that Aani would not allow them to be hurt now that they had come to an understanding. Lamar really wanted to learn more about the foxes and their way of life. He doubted what he had learned from his father was correct and he would have liked to have had the opportunity to get to really know the creatures. As it was he was just thankful to have Rias and Gabe for company. They were far better company than Lamar’s own family had ever been.

“Aryan! I’m surprised to see you here. You look a lot better. I take it your wounds are healing? Have you been getting enough to eat?” Lamar tried to keep the nervous tone out of his voice. Aryan still thought of him as a cruel monster, and he was quite shocked that the wary fox had sought him out.

“I’m doing fine, master.” Aryan’s voice was as quite and timid as ever. Lamar frowned, “you know you don’t have to call me that now Aryan, you’re free. Your stone was taken from me when I was captured.”

“I suppose that’s true,” Aryan replied with a nervous tone.

Lamar smiled in hopes of calming the fox, “so what can I do for you? I must admit I’m surprised to see you here. I mean I can’t blame you for fearing or hating me, since I am human after all.”

Aryan took a deep breath, bracing himself. “That’s what I don’t get. I mean you don’t act like a human. You called Gabe your family, and you treat me like a person. Why are you being so kind?”

Lamar shook his head as memories of the day he had named Gabe and Rias his family came into his mind. He had not spoken to Gabe or Rias at any great length since, but he had noticed a certain ease that hadn’t been there before. It was as if the two foxes now knew what their place was with Lamar, and it helped them feel safe. “I called Gabe and Rias my family because they are. They’re the only family I have left.” Lamar set the firewood down and then sat down next to his fire. He gestured for Aryan to join him. The fox looked at him with uncertainty before slowly sinking to the ground a short distance away from his former master.

Lamar leaned back, trying to look as nonchalant as possible. “Tell me Aryan, what’s bothering you?”

Aryan turned his eyes away from the human, choosing to stare at the ground instead. “I, I’ve been talking with Gabe a lot, and he’s told me what you’re trying to do. He told me that the reason you fought my old master was because you wanted to help me. Normally I wouldn’t believe that, but I can’t imagine why else you would want me, I mean I’m useless. So I’ve got to believe it, and I want to help you. I don’t know what I can do but I’ll do anything you ask. Just let me travel with you and help you free other foxes like you did me. I wouldn’t know what to do with myself here, and I really do want to help.”
Lamar was silent for a moment as he considered Aryan’s request. “It’s going to be very dangerous Aryan, I wouldn’t be able to guaranty your safety. You’ve been through so much already, don’t you want to stay here and live among your own people as a free man?”

Aryan shook his head, “I’ve lived in danger my entire life. I just want to help the foxes that are still living with it. If I can help free even one fox then it’s worth the risk.”

Lamar nodded, this was the first decision Aryan had made on his own and the human would honor it. He would be able to keep an eye on the fox this way, and make sure his recovery was progressing. He’d just keep Aryan away from the fighting. “Alright Aryan, we’re leaving tomorrow at dawn, make sure you’re ready.”

~~~

Lamar awoke to the darkness of night. He had heard movement near by and he now turned groggy eyes towards the empty spot where Rias had been sleeping. In the distance he could see the silvery silhouette of the fox highlighted in the soft glow of moonlight. Rias truly was stunning in all his forms but Lamar had to say he liked this one the most. In half form Rias retained the ethereal glimmer of his kind, yet he also seemed tangible, a person capable of fear and doubt, as well as joy and love. In that form Lamar could let himself believe that Rias was similar to him. Not the immortal sprit that held immense power and knowledge far beyond that of a simple human.

Lamar stood and made his way over to the fox, his heart pounding. He and Rias hadn’t really talked much that last week. He had been busy making plans with Aani and observing what little parts of the wild foxes’ lives that he was able too. Still, that was no excuse. He had been unable to face Rias because he could sense the others unease, and he knew something was bothering him. He feared that it had to do with him. Rias was now completely free, and he wasn’t sure how the fox would react to him. The only thing that held Rias to him was that collar because controller or no Lamar was still the only one that could remove it.

“Hey you just going to stand there staring at me or are you going to come over?” Lamar blinked as he quickened his pace to go sit by the fox. It always amazed him, how foxes could know you were there even with their backs turned. They really did have amazing senses.

Rias turned to Lamar with a soft smile on his lips as the human sank down beside him, “you couldn’t sleep either ah? Can’t say I blame you. Between going back among the humans and having that damnedable creature with us it’s going to be hell from here on out.”

Lamar shook his head, “that’s not actually what’s bothering me. Rias I’ve really wronged you. This whole time I’ve been denying you true freedom because I was scared that if I didn’t have anything to hold you here, you’d run. I’ve realized now that I can’t do that. I need to trust you and let you make your own decision.” Lamar leaned forward and unsnapped Rias’ collar, “You’re officially free now, I’m sorry it took this long Rias.”

Rias blinked reaching out a hand to rub his neck were the collar had been. He smirked playfully at Lamar, “you know, technically I was already free. The wild foxes saw to that. But it still means a lot Lamar. Thank you, really. I can’t tell you what it means to know that you don’t see me as a slave.” Rias’ expression fell and he looked at Lamar with uncertainty. “Umm, Lamar. You said we were a family right? But where do I fit into that? I mean Gabe’s a kit, so his place is obvious, but where do I fit into this? What do I mean to you?”

Lamar felt his breath catch in his throat. He didn’t know how to answer that. It was the question that had been haunting him since that night they had fallen asleep together by the fire. He knew what he wanted Rias to be to him, but he didn’t think the fox would ever share his feelings. Still, he couldn’t call Rias a brother, but he didn’t want to scare him away either. “I don’t know Rias. But I do know that you’re the most important thing in my life, and that when I thought you were dying it felt like I was dying too. I know I need you, and not just as a guard and a friend, but for more than that. I don’t know how to explain it Rias, but I know you do belong in this family, and without you this family would not exist.”

Rias sighed his eyes on the horizon. “I guess that’ll have to be enough then. I just, Lamar it’s real hard for me. I’ve always hated humans. All of them, all of you. I can’t do that anymore. I don’t know where I fit in or what kind of relationship you hope to have with me, but I do know I can’t hold these feelings in anymore.” Rias took a deep breath, looking as if the world hung on this moment. “I love you Lamar. I love you like I’ve never loved anyone. I don’t know what the future holds for us, and I know we’re not even of the same race, so I can’t expect anything. I just needed to let you know that that’s how I feel, and no matter what I am to you, I’ll be happy so long as you let me stay around.”

When Rias finally fell silent he looked up with timid eyes, trying to decide just how Lamar had taken his confession. Lamar couldn’t seem to get a word out. The lump in his throat seemed so huge. He loved Rias so much, and had wanted so badly to show him but all this time he was afraid that he would push the fox away. To find out that Rias felt the same way was just more than he could handle.

When Lamar didn’t answer Rias looked down, “well I just thought you should know.” With that he stood and started walking back towards camp. Lamar felt a jolt run through him and somehow it felt like if he let Rias go now he would lose him forever. Without another moments pause he ran forward, closing the distance between the two of them in a matter of moments. He flung his arms around Rias’ shoulders, pressing himself against the fox’s backside, burying himself in the fox’s incredibly long hair. For a moment Rias stiffened beneath him, but then he seemed to relax, letting out a soft chuckle. “What are you doing Lamar? I must say this wasn’t the reaction I expected.”

“I-“ Lamar’s voice came out in a high squeak, and he had to stop for a moment to gather himself. “I’m sorry Rias, I love you too.”

Rias blinked, spinning around and grasping the human with a clawed hand on each shoulder. He held Lamar at arms length, as if examining him. There was anger in his topaz blue eyes, but mainly hurt and confusion. “Why would you apologize for that?!” He demanded, flabbergasted. “Is it so horrible a thing to love me?”

Lamar shook his head, “no that’s not what I mean at all. I just, I kept it hidden for so long. All this time, when we’ve both felt this way. All of it was a waste.”

Lamar looked down as he fought back tears of both joy and pain. How could he make Rias understand the turmoil that had gone on within him? Rias’ hands relaxed, and he took Lamar’s chin in a gentle grasp, forcing the human to look up at him. “It was not time wasted, Lamar. Because it was time spent with you. Time getting to know you and what you stand for. Time building a friendship like none I have ever known. I value that just as much as I do this, and I hope you do too.”

Then, without waiting for a response he leaned in and gently touched his lips to Lamar’s, the tender kiss conveying all he felt. Lamar felt himself melt into the fox’s awaiting embrace, His arms encircling the fox’s midsection, pulling him as close as possible. Rias wrapped his arms around his human’s shoulders, his toung playfully flicking across Lamar’s lips, asking for entrance. Lamar opened his mouth and the kiss deepened. Before Lamar knew it the two of them were sparing with one another, their tongues sweeping and tasting everything they could. Lamar was so caught up in this dance of tongue and lip, teeth and fang that he didn’t realize that they were being watched. Rais, on the other hand did, and he pulled away, growling deep in his throat.

Lamar blinked in shock as he felt Rias bristle with overprotective rage, the fox pulling him behind him to shield his human from whatever threat they faced. Then there was a rustle in the bushes and their watcher was gone just like that. Rias did not relax, however. “Lamar, we have to get back to camp now. We have to get Gabe and leave right away.”

Lamar stood in a haze of confusion. He still had no clue what had happened. “But Aani-we can’t leave without him.“

“That was Aani, Lamar and he’ll be hot on our tails now I don’t know why he didn’t kill us just now, but I’m sure he will if we don’t get the hell out of here.” Rias spoke with such conviction that Lamar had to wonder what was wrong with him.

“Rias, Aani’s not going to do anything. He’s agreed to work with us, remember?”

Rias growled again, his hair still on end. “That was before he saw us together Lamar. The kind of relationship we just created is completely forbidden among my people. The punishment is death, and there are no exceptions. Aani will gather his people, then he will hunt us down, and he will kill us. We need to be long gone before that happens. I don’t know if we can outrun him. I think that’s why he didn’t take us out now. He didn’t think he had to rush. Bastard probably went to get a sliver fox to do his dirty work for him. I’m not giving up though. I just found you Lamar, and as long as I have breath in me, I swear I will fight to keep that bastard from destroying the best thing I’ve ever had. I love you Lamar, and I I’m willing to do whatever it takes to prove that love to everyone.”