Best Friends Means you Pull the Trigger

Nine


Michael didn’t speak to him again. Yet, Gerald still allowed himself to stare at him and sometimes even thought he could feel Michael staring back.

Sophomore year Gerald spend his birthday alone at the beach, he received a beating from Frank and a beautiful watch from Michael. Junior year his birthday was also spent at the beach with Ray and Sandra. He got a paint set from Ray, some blank canvas from Sandra and lots of puke to clean from his mom. Senior year brought his birthday again to the beach, with an actual cake, baked by Mrs. Harrison and even more friends, Jay, Sandra, Ray, Sean and his boyfriend Trent. They where all there on the beach he loved so much to celebrate his birthday. What he got or didn’t get didn’t matter this time around.

Never would have Gerald thought that he would one day have anyone other than Michael. When Michael ran out of the house, Gerald felt his heart break into more pieces than he ever thought he could pick up. Gerald felt his knees go weak he was sure he would hit the floor, but Ray’s strong arms held him up.

At school Sandra began to sit next to him during art. She seemed to always be impressed with what ever he was working on. She pushed him not to quit, to make time for art, even if it meant quitting other things like band. He loved music and still played guitar, but between art and band, art won.

Jay at the beginning was nice to him just because he was his girlfriend’s friend. However, the more time they spent together the more Jay noticed that Gerald was a really cool guy. It took Gerald awhile to figure out that Sandra was his friend not because of Ray, but because she actually liked spending time with him. That Jay didn’t want to make fun of him when he asked to hear him play the guitar, but that he enjoyed listening to him.

Sean was a freshman when Gerald was a senior. He was a strong kid and it always surprised Gerald, he sometimes even envied him. Ever since he came out in junior high, not once did he hide whom he was. From the first day of school he walked to his classes and locker holding on to Trent’s hand. Trent would blush whenever Sean kissed him in public, but he got used to his boyfriend being so open.

Sean didn’t care that his brother didn’t want to be associated with him; he always knew Michael was an ass. At home they were close siblings playing video games talking and sharing. At school Michael pretended as though the little brother he always talked about was still in middle school. It hurt, but Sean felt more pity than anything towards his brother.

-

Gerald was at his locker putting his books away when he heard Frank, “Fucking fags.”

Gerald turned around to see who he was talking too. He was surprised to see Sean and another boy holding hands. Gerald had forgotten that Sean started high school that year.

He looked back towards Frank; he wasn’t scared of him anymore. Sean’s friend looked worried, but Sean continued to smile as he searched for something in his locker, his hand firmly holding the other boys.

Michael came over to stand by Frank. Gerald thought that Frank would finally get what he deserved.

“Disgusting,” Frank muttered. Michael looked over at his brother and patted Frank on the shoulder.

“Ignore them, they’re just freshman.” Michael felt the side of his face burning and when he turned to see the source of the heat his eyes met furious brown. His heart clenched, but he only turned around and left.

Gerald watched him walk away and then crossed the hall to Sean. The younger teen was ecstatic to see him.

-

Gerald now had a group of friends, friends who understood about his responsibilities and who made time for him. They all sang happy birthday for him and when he closed his eyes all he wished for was that things stayed the same.

After eating cake Gerald wondered away from the group to stand by the shore.

“You still miss him?” Ray closeness startle Gerald, he hadn’t heard him approachin. Gerald had confessed his feelings for Michael to Ray, he was the only one who knew, or the only one Gerald had told.

“He isn’t that bad. He just… peer pressure,” Gerald wasn’t sure if he was making excuses for Michael or if it was true, but he knew Michael was good. Why or what had changed for him to behave like he did? Gerald didn’t know.

“You still love him,” Ray wasn’t asking but Gerald nodded. “You just need to meet someone new.” Ray hugged Gerald around the shoulders and brought him back against his chest.

Back where the rest were still sitting, Sean watched his brother hiding in the shadows. Sean was slightly apprehensive over Michael’s presence and was even ready to approach him and demand he left. However, something in Michael’s expression stopped him.
Michael watched the figures by the water. He had a small gift in his hands, he had found it while cleaning his closet and thought it be perfect to break the ice with Gerald, remind him that before anything else they use to be friends.

Michael’s attention moved to the people sitting on the beach.

“They make such a cute couple,” Sandra said leaning against Jay.

“Yes they do,” Trent said looking back. “I don’t get why they aren’t together.”

“Age difference.” Jay rolled his eyes.

“Buttocks,” said Mrs. Harrison surprising the teens. Sean had to hold back a smile. “Who make a big deal ’bout it? Gerald mom? Bah,” she said waving her hand. “They just friends because they choose too.” The teens shrugged looking back towards the water.

Michael smiled, it was very good news to him.

When Gerald and Ray began to walk back, Michael left to his car.

Everyone helped pick up after the small party. Sean volunteered to carry the stuff back to the apartment, but Gerald wouldn’t have it. He didn’t like people going over to his house. His mom was now always drunk.

“It’s ok,” Ray said, taking the towels from Sandra. “Gerald and me can help Mrs. Harrison, you guys head home.” Everyone else reluctantly left, they wondered why they were never allowed over, but decided better to keep their questions quiet. Sean gave Gerald a specially felt hug, because he knew something in his home life was just not right.

They watched the others leave and when nothing but their shadows was visible Gerald turned to Ray, “Thanks.” Ray gave him a small smile only the left side of his lips lifting lightly.

Ray carried the cooler back to Mrs. Harrison while Gerald went ahead to his own apartment. In front of his door was a small blue box with a yellow ribbon around it. He opened the door set the towels down on the couch and came back to pick the box up.

“Hey, who is that from?” Ray asked walking into the apartment.

“I don’t know,” Gerald said, his finger tracing the yellow ribbon.

“Are you going to open it?” Ray sat on the couch. Gerald nodded but something felt strange.

“Gerald!” His mom’s voice rang from her room. Gerald turned embarrassed to Ray. Ray shook his head. He didn’t think Gerald should be embarrassed it wasn’t his fault.

It didn’t take long for Ray to figure out that Gerald’s mom was an alcoholic, he actually had seen her at the bars and clubs he sometimes went with his older friends. He tried asking Gerald to convince his mom to look for help, but Gerald wouldn’t hear about it. He took care of his mom, and a drunken mom was all he had ever known.

“She isn’t that bad,” he told Ray. “She loves me.”

Ray had to admit that though she was a drunk and very irresponsible she did love her son. Ray did everything he could to take a bit of the weight of Gerald’s shoulders and so he became the person the boy could talk to. Gerald told Ray all his fears, all his dreams.

“I’ll put the towels in the washer, you go check on her,” Ray offered and Gerald gave him a thankful smile.

Before going to his moms room Gerald placed the blue box in his bedroom.

“Hey mom.” The room was pitch black, the blinds closed shut and a blanket thrown over to keep all the sun’s rays out.

“I have a head ache,” she moaned covering her eyes with the back of her hand.

“Do you want aspirin?” he asked still standing by the door.

“I want to give you a happy birthday hug and kiss.” Gerald closed the door and moved further into the room. He leaned down and his mom threw her arms around his shoulders and kissed him several times on the cheeks and forehead.

When she finally released him she asked for her cold mask.

Ray left after putting the towels in the washer and Gerald went to his bedroom. He liked to practice guitar everyday and he was trying to write a song. Gerald had also picked up pebbles and broken shells from the beach. He was working on another picture, again it was taking a life of its own and he wasn’t sure what would come out of it. He was using anything he could find in soft pastel colors. The soft pink from sea shells worked perfectly.

Deciding that he could work on the song when he came home from work, he pulled out of his pockets everything he had collected that day. As the image began to appear on his canvas he felt it needed something bright. He saw the light blue hues he had chosen for the water and the shells forming the bottom of the ocean, he felt that a bright contrast was needed for the fish that would swim through.

“Yellow,” The blue of the background would work fine with a yellow fish. He looked down at everything he had collected. Nothing was yellow. He knew he had seen yellow and blue somewhere, but where? The fish had to be yellow. He checked his watch, he had 15 minutes before he had to shower and go to work. He concentrated on the pale blue glass he was using to create waves and decided he would find something yellow while he was out.

Gerald turned to leave his room, when he noticed the small package he had forgotten about on his dresser, the blue wrapping paper and the yellow bow.

“So that is where I saw yellow and blue” he grabbed the package and carefully removed the ribbon trying to figure out how he would turn it into a fish.

-

“Why are you fidgeting?”

“I’m not fidgeting. Don’t roll your eyes at me.”

“Stop fidgeting.”

Michael drew a deep breath trying not to loose his patience. “I’m not fidgeting,” he gritted out.

Michael was very nervous, and in fact was fidgeting. He kept wondering if Gerald had found the box. If he had opened it and if he had what would happen?

He finally moved towards his computer he checked his picture folder and made sure, again, that he had scanned the gift before giving it away. If someone took the box he would loose it forever, and that…it was irreplaceable.

“I’m out,” May sighed, tired of watching Michael fidget and ignore her.

-

Once Gerald turned the yellow ribbon into a fish and his attention was diverted from the picture he saw the box as the “mysterious box” and not as potential material and again began to wonder whom it was from and what it was.

He sat on his bed and opened the box. Two small boys peered out to him from the box. He gently picked up the picture. A pale blue eyed boy with blue and white swimming shorts had his small arm over the shoulders of a tanned boy wearing tattered jean shorts. Their size was about the same but the blond boy had more meat on his bones. They both smiled happily at the camera.

Gerald remembered that day. It was the day he met Michael and after the flash of the camera faded, Michael had given him a loud kiss on the cheek promising that they would see each other again.
*~*~

Thank you to everyone who has reviewed. It means a lot to me. I will try and not take so long to update again, but I don't make any promises. Life has become more than hectic.