Past Reflections: A pet's story

Deacon arrived to work but nobody paid any attention to him. Jolie just indicated that he had company waiting upstairs in his office and he thanked her politely, still flushed from his morning activities. He jogs up the stairs and walks into the office, barely winded, only to see Katsuro sitting in the leather chair behind his desk. “Good morning, Katsuro.” He sidles into the room and drops his briefcase on the desk with a loud bang, watching dispassionately as it slides off the sleek wooden surface and onto the floor. Katsuro looked at it and then looked at him quizzically. Deacon ignores the look and sits opposite the desk, his feet propped against it. Katsuro’s delicate nose wrinkles in dismay as the subtle scent of another man reaches him, his eyes narrowing into dangerous slits.

“Deacon, love. Where have you been all morning, we were supposed to meet here hours ago. I’ve been waiting for the last 2 hours for you to arrive.” Deacon blushed and stammered, trying to come up with a reason for his tardy absence.

“I was, um, I was…ahhh…,” He sighs and laughs nervously, shuffling nervously. “I had a small problem that I had to take care of and it took up most of my morning.” The lie sounded unconvincing even to him and he subconsciously tapped his long fingers against the arm of the chair. Katsuro gazes at him for a minute before standing up, throwing a pile of mail at him. “I’ll return this afternoon Deacon. If I still smell him on you, I will hunt him down. Understand?” Deacon just gulps and nods his head, determining to shower before his master returned. With that decided, he begins to look through the mail, one letter catching his attention and making the color drain from his already pale face. The block letters of the lawyer’s office making his throat clog and tighten with emotion he hadn’t even started to deal with. He uses one of the knives at his hip to slit the letter open and pull it out. The letterhead glared up at him, bright and hateful, and it hurt his eyes. He slowly unfolds it and sets it on the desk, just staring at it unblinkingly for a minute. Slowly his eyes adjust and he begins to read it, before crumpling it in his fist in a rash and unreasonable anger. Hot fury filled him and he shook, his hands trembling in suppressed rage. “God damn it Akio…How could you?!” He slams his fist against the desk, cracking the wooden surface under the force. “I can’t fucking believe you.” His eyes fill with bitter tears and he stands up, throwing the chair he was sitting in, smashing the clear glass window the separated his office from the hallway. The shards fall against the floor in a heap and the air temperature starts to drop around him, the remaining pieces of glass starting to frost over underneath the chilling temperature. Ice blue eyes start to gleam in the paleness of his face, replacing the sapphire blue ones of Deacon, letting him slip into blissful darkness but memories assaulted him, keeping him from the peace he usual found.

((This is supposed to be in italics since its almost like a dream sequence thingy))

He lays curled up in his lover’s arms, head resting on his chest when the alarm on his phone goes off and he curses softly underneath his breath. “Shit. I gotta get home lover! Call me later about getting together with you and Kaine.” Deacon kisses him once and slides out of bed, brushing his sweat-slicked body against Aydian’s, causing him to whimper softly and reach for him.

“Are you sure you have to go home, Deacon love? Can’t you just blow off your plans, its obvious that you still want me.” Aydian’s eyes travel down his lover’s body to the still evident arousal already slicked with his seed. Deacon’s growls softly and almost slides back into bed but remembered at the last moment that Akio was making dinner and that he would be disappointed if Deacon called and said he couldn’t make it home. With a sad sigh, he starts to get dressed, the smell of his lover clinging against his skin. He leans over the bed, pants on but unbuttoned, and takes his lips in a lingering kiss before separating their lips. “I will be thinking of you until we meet again, lover. You’re beauty will enchant my dreams tonight,” he promises with tantalizing words. Aydian smiles and reaches out to brush a lock of white hair out of his eyes.

“Shall we meet then in our dreams, love? I’m not sure I can go even a night without your sweet embrace.” Deacon smiles and pulls away, making a noncommittal noise that could be interpreted any way the listener chose to take it. Aydian beamed and lay back against the pillows, resting against his navy sheets, hair spread over them making him look like a temptress. Deacon ignored the blatant seduction attempt and finished dressing, before sweeping out of the door in a flurry of hair and cologne. Aydian smiles like a cat with cream and snuggles into sheets that smell of Deacon, his heat lingering behind, and the imprint of his head on his pillow. His fingers caress the indent lovingly as he drifts off to sleep, a smiling curving his lips. Deacon drove home, foot pressed to the floor as he speeded, glancing at his watch every few seconds. He grimaced when he saw how late he was and hoped that Akio wouldn’t be to upset with him. When he finally sauntered through the door, it was half past seven and he was over an hour late. The table was beautifully set but the candles were burned down to stubs, flickering weakly in the dim lighting of the dining room.

“Evening Akio, love. Sorry I’m late. I had to finish up some paperwork at the company and it took longer then expected.” He drops a kiss against his lips, which were tightened with the rare vestiges of anger. “Akio, little one, what’s wrong?” His words are met with stony silence as his lover serves the now cold food, slapping it onto his plate with enough force to make it splatter. “Akio, c’mon talk to me.” Deacon pleads, completely ignoring the food on his plate as his stomach contracts. Akio slams the plate down on the table and glares at his lover, scowling, which was an oddity in itself.

“Deacon, what did you do at work today?” His voice was soft, and slightly unsteady as he sits down, hands quivering where they lay atop the tablecloth. Deacon thought fast, knowing he couldn’t tell his lover the truth.

“I…ah, I had to do the usual. Ya know, shoot things, kill people.” A flush spread up his neck and he took a bite of the cold meal, forcing it past his protesting stomach.

“Mela?” While Akio said it softly, the meaning behind it was clear. Deacon lowers his eyes before answering.

“Yes, sweetie? The words are sickening sweet and they both knew that tone of voice all to well.

“Deacon, what happened? He asked, already knowing the answer without having to hear it from him,

“N-nothing. Really.” The stutter betrayed the lie, even before it was fully out of his mouth and he knew that Akio would never believe what he said. To neither ones surprise, he didn’t. His eyes sad and his voice stricken with pain when he said his name, and the hurt was obvious. It almost broke Deacon’s heart that he had put it there again but, he wasn’t feeling bad enough to tell him the truth yet. He raises his eyes to him, ashamed, his shoulders hunched.

“Well, ya know, I was working with Aydian and ya know how that goes.” He was desperately trying to avoid this conversation but he knew that his answers weren’t satisfying his husband but he couldn’t bring himself to just admit he was having another affair.

“No, Deacon. I-I don’t know.” He looks his husband straight in the eye, forcing him to meet the look. He wanted to hear the words from his mouth what he had feared from the moment he walked in the door late, smelling of expensive cologne. Deacon spreads his hands wide in appeal, trying to appease his own guilt.

“He got hurt and I had to stripe him in order to get to the wound. I wasn’t being a pervert or anything.” His words weren’t a lie. The touches had started off friendly but once Aydian’s clothes had come off it didn’t take long for Deacon’s to join them. Akio wasn’t buying his words this time though.

“Okay. Was that all, Deacon?

“Yeah.” His response was too quick, to appeasing to be true and they both knew it. Akio wiped his face off with a napkin before putting it down gently on his half-eaten plate.

“Well, thank you for joining me for dinner Deacon, but, I’m going to bed now.” He stands up and dismisses himself from the table and Deacon, in a rare concerned gesture calls his name.

“Akio, c’mon.” However, this time Akio cut him off, angry.

“No, Deacon. You can’t even tell it to me to my face.” For a minute, the assassin has to struggle with his own conscious and the battle was lost before he even walked through the door. He put his hands on the table, head hanging, always hating the way this part of the drama played out.

“Fine.” His voice broke slightly but he continued on. “We fucked. Is that what you want to hear Akio? That me and him fucked?” With tears in his eyes, Akio looks at him, saying slowly, “Yes, you know, I’ve tried so hard Deacon, I really have…” When he closed his eyes, the tears fell gently onto the table and Deacon reached over to wipe them away but Akio just flinches his face away from his hand.

“I know, love. I’ve gone to counseling and I’ve done what they’ve said.” His voice was soft, weary even. He was disgusted with himself but didn’t know how to stop the vicious cycle. However, at this point Akio was rightfully starting to get angry.

“Then what it is?! Am I not good enough for you? Do you go to others because I can’t satisfy you? I’ve been open, I’ve done things for you that I can’t say in public, I’VE BORN YOUR CHILD.” Deacon tried to stay reasonable, but it didn’t take long for his own anger to boil over the surface.

“I KNOW THAT. I don’t know why. I wish I did. I’ve been struggling for the last three years trying to figure out why. You know you satisfy me.”

“BULLSHIT. If I did, then you wouldn’t be doing this.” Deacon was at a loss for words and slams his fist on the table, frustrated that he can’t give his lover a reason. His face was set into hard lines of anger, his frustration radiating off of his tense shoulders and clenched fists.

“Then you tell me why?” While he wasn’t yelling, Akio could tell he was controlling his temper by a hair trigger and it did nothing to diffuse the situation. Instead, Akio glares at him, tears in his eyes.

“I don’t know Deacon, I would do anything for you and when I think its okay, you do this.” Deacon growls and grabs the front of his shirt, out of pure reflex from dealing with shady people, and drags him halfway across the table to meet his furious eyes.

“I’m not doing this to hurt you, Akio.” The words were an honest plea, but it was just to little, to late. The movement across the table hurt his lover, and he cried out softly in pain, before roaring at him.

“THEN WHY DO YOU DO IT, YOU KNOW IT HURTS ME?” Deacon didn’t have an answer and struggled for a few minutes to come up with something, anything that would appease his lover.

“I DON’T KNOW!” He roars back and out of reflex, or just plain fury, swings his hand. The movement catches Akio in the mouth, knocking him into the table. Akio cries out, loudly, in pain and shock and falls into the table. The force of the fall makes the table crash to the floor under Akio’s combined weight with the force that he hit the table. All Deacon could hear over the pounding of his own heart was the dishes crashing and breaking against the floor before his body went into complete panic mode. He drops to the floor to start picking up the pieces of glass before Akio could cut himself, practically sobbing. “Are you okay? Oh gods, Akio, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to, I swear. Please…please baby, you gotta believe me.” Akio sobs, shaking in anger as he looks up at Deacon before standing up. Glass crunches underneath his feet and he was thankful that he was still wearing shoes, his lip split and bleeding.

“That’s what you always say isn’t it…ISN’T IT?” Akio yells at him before turning to head out of the dining room. “I’M LEAVING.” Deacon strides after him, the broken glass tearing a gaping hole in his foot, causing him to limp to his husband but he‘s beyond caring.

“Please baby, you know I don’t mean it.” His voice was pleading as he tried to talk his way out of the trouble he was in and it made Akio stop at the stairs. He had never been able to walk away from Deacon when he spoke like that, turning to him with an angry flounce.

“Don’t mean what? Hitting me when you’re angry at me for something you did? Am I supposed to take that too?”

“I-I swear to god I didn’t mean to hit you. I would never purposefully do that to you,” almost crying, “you know that don’t you?” Akio was already crying as he held onto the stair railing with a death grip to prevent him from sobbing uncontrollably.

“I did.” Those words broke Deacon’s heart and he reaches for him, arms outstretched as his body shakes from the tears sliding down his cheeks.

“Baby, please don’t do this.” He crawled, on hands and knees, to kneel in front of him, eyes wide and appealing.

“Deacon…please,” Akio was slowly starting to lose his anger in the face of such emotion from the normally stoic assassin, “you promised. You promised me.” Deacon wraps his arms around his lovers legs, resting his head against his groin, not trying to be perverted but just to be close to him but Akio‘s heart could take it anymore.

“I know, I know.” Akio bites his lip out of habit, causing it to bleed more and looked away. He was starting to soften towards the sobbing man in front of him.

“How can I trust you? How can I when you can’t keep that promise.” At that exact moment, Deacon’s cell phone rang. Unfortunately, the ring tone was something romantic and flirty, belying the complete use of the phone for work purposes. Deacon didn’t even have to look at the phone to know who was calling and his hand twitched with desire to answer it.

“Deacon…who’s…” Deacon cut him off though, before he could finish the question.

“I-I don’t know. It must be a wrong number. that’s my normal ringtone.” That made Akio look at him sharply.

“DEACON!” He hangs his head and stares at the floor, answering moodily.

“WHAT?” He continues to stare at the floor, refusing to meet Akio’s dispassionate eyes, scared of what he might see there.

“STOP LYING TO ME.” Without answering him, Deacon just hands him the phone and he takes the phone, looking at the caller id. Deacon waits for the explosion that he knows will come when Akio sees who it was. He looks up, answering the phone, with tears streaming down his face. “Hello?” He answers, voice shaky and raw with tears.

“Hello, Deak. Its Aydian. I jus wanted to tell you that you’re late, and I’m just wondering where the hell you are?” Akio’s face shifts into his hard crying look, were everything got scrunched up like he’s trying to hold back the wave of tears that threaten to overwhelm him. He throws the phone as hard as he can at the wall before running up the stairs. Deacon winces as he listens to it break before running up the steps after his husband, taking them two at a time.

“Akio, baby, its just work.” Deacon pleads once again, only this time Akio wasn’t having it.

“Was it work when you FUCKED HIM? What are you late for? Were you going to wine and dine me and then go meet up with him?” Deacon blushes and stammers once more, trying to form a coherent though.

“Well, w-we were supposed to m-meet our third.” He keeps his eyes on Akio’s face even though he couldn’t meet the beautiful green eyes of his husband.

“Third? Third fucking what?” Akio was honestly confused and Deacon would rather not have told him, but mumbled anyways.

“Ah, our, um third for our menage-a-tois.” The look that crossed Akio’s face could only be described as heartbreaking before he pulled himself together.

“Deacon, why don’t you go to your little get together, fuck yourself silly, and then go to hell because I’m done. I can’t take it anymore and I shouldn’t have to.” For the first time in the entire conversation, Deacon begins to sound contrite and confused, honestly not knowing how to fix the problem.

“I..I don’t know what you want me to do?” His own face tightens as he tries to reign in his emotions but failed miserably, showing himself as human even when he desperately wanted the cool composure so natural to him.

“You now what I want. I just want faithfulness. That’s all. You know I’m okay with you having sex with people in our harem, you know that. You know if we all agree on someone its okay and you can have as much sex as you want…but you don’t. You constantly break the rules. How many times have you cheated on me? How many times I don’t know about?” He waits for Deacon to give him an answer but knows he won’t. “My heart aches every time you’re away at work and not home. I wonder if you’re doing it again. I would sob and cry because I thought it was me. That I was doing something wrong, but I’m not.” Deacon has the grace to look ashamed as he chokes on his own bitter tears.

“No, you’re not.” He sits down heavily on the floor, head buried in his hands. “I’m just a pig. I’ve always known I wasn’t good enough for you.” He toys with the frayed edge of the hallway runner, trying to form his thoughts into a coherent idea. “I-I’m sorry for everything I’ve ever done to you, for the things you don’t know about and the thins you do. Everything.” Akio looks at him in pity.

“Deacon…if our roles were switched…what would you do?” Deacon was able to answer him without hesitation.

“Kill them. It would be so obvious to any man stupid enough to try and take my husband from me that he would die a brutally painful death for laying a finger against your beautifully soft skin. But, then again, I had no qualms about letting it be known that you were MINE.” He growls low, hating the idea that Akio might find someone new when he was forced to leave.

“I…I can’t do that Deacon.” The words are lanced with pain but they were stronger then anything he’s said since they began fighting. There was a resolve in his voice that made Deacon’s stomach clench in fear.

“I know.” He leans forward until he hands and face rest on top of his knees, feeling ill. “Gods knows I should have just died years ago.” He murmured, losing the will to fight anymore. He knew his fate was already sealed and that he should just give up and quit but he wasn’t able to do that, not without one more try.

“I pray to them everyday to keep you safe. I love you Deacon, more then you’ll ever know but no more. Not until you get it together. We’re through so…p..ple..” Akio takes a deep breath, trying to keep his voice steady. “Please just…” When he can’t finish the sentence he runs from him for the least time, straight into Taro and Sai’s room. Deacon, shaking as he stands, walks unsteadily into the room him and Akio were sharing and slowly starts to pack his bag. He runs his hands over the robes he husband was so fond of for the last time, sneaking his personal favorite into his bag while he packs. When he bag is full, he carefully unpacks a shirt that Akio had bought him for Christmas the year before and laid it on the bed, the fabric still carrying his scent, along with a small teddy bear that he had cherished while he was a boy, thinking Akio needed it now more then he did.