The Stranger

Author's note: Hooooooo boy, you guys are in for a long-ass chapter! this one was 2 seperate chapters, but it felt awkward and I asked the tumbler peoples whether or not i should do 2 small chapter and one big one and CandyCaner said "I want the big one!" so you guys get a 13 page long chapter. (that's long for me)

100 hits in 24 hours? really? aww you guys! you make me sooo happy! *sniff. tear*

Thank yous go to CandyCaner, Jackpot7374, Dark Delta, Saige, and Fogu-s_Tofu for reviewing. Special thanks goes to Ikkichi for the long rambling review about her cat, rain, and movies, oh! and a little bit about the chapter. :) I kid Ikkichi. I kid! I love long reviews and I love short reviews. I love reviews period! Send me lovin people! :D

Off we go!

-----


My eyes were damn near bolted open. My mind was in a rushed state, running through every single little encounter and thought I had had with Lynn.

She had never left my mind.

My heart fluttered when I thought about her.

My stomach flip-flopped.

I wanted to know every damn detail about her, even the things she wanted to hide.

I… I had… oh goodness. I had fantasized about her in a nightgown. And moaned.

Lord, strike me down now.

So… this is what attraction felt like? This is what it was like when people fancied each other? I had never felt this way before, but it had been described to me many times by the girls that I hired. They would tell me about the boy they had hoped would ask to call on them or to talk to them. They just went on and on with how they’d felt.

Well, now I could see why.

I sighed and turned in bed. I didn’t know how to feel about this.

Should I have known that I liked girls better than guys? Or did I just like only Lynn?

I felt scared.

I had never, ever felt and attraction to another person. Sure, I had had loads of compliments, and some men even asked for my hand in marriage, but… I never said yes because I just didn’t want to give up my life as a woman making it on her own,.

My poppa had always told me to wait until I loved someone before giving myself over to them. I had never known what he’d meant.

I still didn’t fully understand it, but maybe…

Maybe, I was falling in love with Lynn.

God! She had only been here for three damn days! Is this how love worked? Did it just sneak up on you and claw underneath your brain and into your heat, making your body betray itself?

I sighed shakily and screwed my eyes shut, willing myself to fall asleep. I just did not want to think about this right now.

-----

The rooster woke me up, as usual. I stayed in bed for a while though, not having the strength to face the day.

I breathed slowly, trying to control myself.

Sooner or later though, I literally rolled out on hit the wooden floor. I stayed there for a while, trying to force my brain to not think about the turmoil that was last night.

I stayed on the floor, admiring the grain of the wood for another short while before I sighed and got up on my feet. I had moved a bit too fast and my head began to throb in pain.

I tenderly felt my skull, noticing a swollen, painful spot right where my head had slammed into the wall.

I walked over to my dressing room and stepped up to the mirror fearfully. I gasped in horror at what I saw.

There were dark purplish bruises on my jawline and a harsh purple and red mark on my neck from where he had bitten me. I let out a shaky breath and turned, lifting my nightgown over my rear. The bruises on the cheek of my buttocks were so dark they were near black.

I dropped the nightgown and cradled my head in my hands. It finally hit me just how terrible the Deputy was to me last night.

I slid to my knees and let the tears pour out of me.

I had been marked. Marked by that horrible man, whom I knew could be a great guy, but chose to show the entire fucking world that he caused me harm, and enjoyed doing it. He had grabbed me and done things to my body no one ever had. Everytime I sat, or looked in a mirror or nudged my head against something, I would be reminded of the power he had had over my body in those few moments.

I cried harder.

I felt violated and ashamed that I could do nothing about it. Who could ever love a helpless woman like me?

In an instant, Lynn’s beautiful eyes floated into my mind, but I shook that away.

I didn’t know if I could deal with the fact that I may be attracted to woman and that she had almost kissed me the other day. I had no idea how to think, how to react, how to take it all in. So much had happened yesterday, I felt exhausted even though I had just woken up.

I heard the bell ring downstairs so I put on a robe and cautiously made my way downstairs.

I felt fear rising up my spine and acid in my throat. What if the Deputy had come back to finish the job?

“Miss Sheafer?” I sighed in relief. It was Shawnie’s voice.

“Millie? Ya here?” That was Lawrence’s voice. What were they both doing here?

I walked out the door to see them. Lawrence’s eyes flashed with anger when he saw to bruises on my face.

“What’re you two doing here? It’s still quite early.” I was trying to be strong, but my voice was wavering.

“Well, I asked Shawnie here to fill in for you for today. I figured you might want to just lie down for today as you had a big scare last night.”

“Are you sure? I could work and Shawnie could jus-“ I protested feebly, but I really did want to take them up on their offer.

“Go upstairs and lie down, Millie. We got this.” Shawnie quietly interrupted me. She smiled at me softly and went to work. I gave a shaky smile back and went upstairs.

I felt broken.

Tired.

Weak.

Overwhelmed.

Disgusted with myself.

Hatred.

Fear.

But most of all, I felt as if no one understood just how scared I had been. How scared I still am, and not just because of the Deputy.

I sat cross legged on my bed and tried to just not. Think.

…

Lynn’s face pops up. I smother it.

…

The Deputy’s cold, harsh gropes and his violence slither up my spine, and I shiver in fear.

…

I guess I needed to think about one or the other or avoid it altogether.

…

I went to sleep.

-----

I slowly woke up again.

My head hurt like hell.

I wished at that moment that I didn’t have emotions. That I couldn’t feel. It would make things so much easier right now.

The Deputy, while dealt with for now, would more than likely return with more men to back him up. His usual group of ruffians that hung on to his every word would do anything he wanted them to. I wondered what he would do to me the next time.

I shook my head and changed the subject in my mind.

Lynn. Beautiful, wonderful Lynn.

There was no denying it, I was engrossed by her. She excited my body and my mind. I traced the mental image I had of her with my hand, knowing the power she held under that skin.

That woman had changed me, whether she knew it or not.

Should I tell her?

Should I talk to her about it?

What if she wasn’t a lesbian and I was just reading into things?

No… no I was sure that she had tried to kiss me.

I sighed and sat up in the bed. I looked out my window and saw that, while it wasn’t dark, the sun was working its way towards setting over the horizon.

I wondered when Lynn would be back.

I decided right then that I would talk to her, tell her what I’m feeling and that I’m terrified out of my goddamn mind.

I hoped this would work out somehow.

-----

I spent the next two days, Saturday and Sunday, in a haze of fear and uncertainty.

My mind was jumping all over the place. First it would think of Ferguson, then about Lawrence, and how grateful I was towards him, and then I would think about Lynn and just positively gush over her. When my mind settled on her, it stayed there for quite a bit longer than on the other topics.

I was nervous. I wanted her to come back and at the same time, I didn’t. What if she rejected me? What if she didn’t? What would we do then? How would I tell her?

My stomach roiled at all the thoughts pent up inside me. I barely had an appetite those days.

While I had taken Friday off, I refused to let them dote on me any longer. I worked both Saturday and Sunday as they were our busiest days of the week.

I tried with all my might to cover my bruising with the makeup I had available to me, but it never worked. They were so dark; the bruises always showed through the layers of powder on my face.

The customers would sympathize with me, gasp when they saw my bruises, or not even glance twice. While abuse was looked down upon, a woman getting beaten up was not extremely uncommon, unfortunately.

-----
Monday rolls in.

We’re always closed on Mondays.

It’s the only day of the week that the saloon is closed and we all get the day off. The patrons have gone to start their work week again, and we wouldn’t serve them a lick of alcohol on these days.

These are the days when I take care of clerical stuff, clean and dust the place, or just hang around, doing nothing.

When I woke up, I had felt better, almost back to my regular sense of chipperness that I usually had. My coworkers were my family, and they had made me feel loved and understood. They supported me.

I swept my hair up in a hasty bun and got to work downstairs with a rush of energy. I made my way to the broom closet and pulled out my weapons of choice, a broom, mop, rags, cleaner and buckets. I swept and mopped the floor, cleaned the windows, and wiped down all the tables and counters. I dusted the piano and all the other surfaces in the saloon. I scrubbed hard where I needed to, but soon the whole place sparkled.

Well… as much as a saloon in the middle of nowhere could sparkle.

I went to the backroom and grabbed a few bottles of alcohol to replace the near empty ones at the bar when I heard a sound.

The bell tinkling.

My heart began to pound in fear and I began to have those thoughts again. What if Ferguson had come back for blood this time? I gulped and stayed in the back, hiding from whomever had come into my bar on the day we were closed.

“Millie?” A rough feminine voice wafted its way through the air and my heart pounded again, not with fear though. Anticipation.

I walked out slowly.


“Lynn.” She turned her expressionless face towards me and in less than a second her eyes – those gorgeous black as-a-raven eyes –went from expressionless to pure unadulterated rage. I had never seen anything like this from her before. She had seen my bruises.

My bruises were beginning to turn blue around the edges and yellow in the center. I guess they were healing, but they were ugly as hell warmed over. The bump on my head had gone down, and was less tender, but if I moved too quickly or nudged my head against something the wrong way all the pain would flare up and I would have to sit down for a while and regain my senses.

It was all very noticeable.

“Who hurt you?” Her voice held an edge to it. A painfully sharp edge that made me want to run and hide.

“Well, you see what happened was-“ I tried to explain, but she cut me off.

“Who?” She wasn’t shouting, but the snarl in her voice gave me a reason to fear for Ferguson’s life.

“Deputy Ferguson.” I spat it out, uncontrollably. My body was shaking.

“He cornered me and groped me in the stairwell.”

“Groped?” The snarl had gotten quieter… more deadly. I nodded.

“H-he… he bit my neck, grabbed my rear and my face. He slammed my head in the wall.” I felt the tears almost well up at the thought of it and my hand automatically reached up to rub the tender spot. That bile was slowly crawling up my throat.

“Why?” A loud whisper, this time.

I paused, not looking her in the eye.

“Because of you.” Her face took on a questioning look. I stepped closer to her, coming within arm’s distance. “He… he don’t like that I was talkin to ya, and he wanted me to stop. He… he told me you were a lesbian.” I glanced up at her eyes to see her reaction. She gulped. “And he told me that he wanted you to suffer in hell. I… don’t like when he says stuff like that about you.”

She sighed. She sounded like she was in pain, and she sat down on a nearby chair. She rubbed her eyes for a moment and looked up at me.

“He’s right Millie. I… well, I have been attracted to women before.”

“Are you attracted to me?” I just flew out of my mouth. I needed to know.

There was a long, drawn out, tense pause.

“Yes.” She whispered this, but I heard. “I’m sorry Millie, I’ll leave.” She made to get up and I scrambled. I grabbed her arm and pulled her back over, putting her back in the chair.

“Sit. Don’t run out on me right now, ya hear? Listen to what I gotta say first.” She nodded slowly. Dejectedly.

“When you first came here, you were so different. Ya wore weird clothes, ya did strange things, you had a gun and a horse, and… you were so distant, almost as if something had hurt ya.” She flinched a little. “I knew immediately that I had to get to know ya.”

I swallowed the saliva that had gathered in my mouth. God I was so nervous.

I continued.

“You were interesting. You took that man to his home without a second thought, showing either your stupidity or your kindness. I was so excited to see you when you came back. I had hoped all night, the night before, that you wouldn’t die so I could get to know you better.” She never raised her gaze to me, not once. She sat there like a child being scolded.

“I couldn’t get you off my mind Lynn. I need to know who you are and what you are about. I-“ I hesitated, not knowing how to continue.

Aw fuck it.

“I’m so fascinated and attracted to you it hurts.” He head twitched, cocking a bit in confusion. Yes I did just say that. “I want to know you, I want to protect and be protected by you, and I want… maybe one day… to share your bed.” Her head snapped to me and she looked me in the eyes, shock written plainly on her face. She gulped, and I watched the muscles of her throat contract and relax.

“I think I’m falling in love with you Lynn. I… I’ve never been in love before, but my momma always told me that when I’d meet that special someone… that I would just know and, I think… that someone is you.”

I bit my lip. There was my heart, out in the open, waiting to be crushed. I sat down in the chair next to her, collapsing under my own confession.

She opened her mouth -as if to say something -and closed it. And again.

Finally, she spoke.

“I feel the exact same way Millie.” My heart raced. “I just don’t know if you’d be safe with me.” I frowned.

“What do you mean Lynn?”

“I’m… I’m not a good person. I’m all fucked up on the inside and I’v- I’ve done things. Things people get hung for, Millie.” She looked me straight in the eye, daring me to look away.

I didn’t.

“Tell me. I’ll decide for myself.” She sighed and nodded. I locked the door and moved us upstairs to sit on the bed and she began her story.

-----

Mystery! Intrigue! What is Lynn hiding? Tune in next time!