Just Couldn't Help Myself

So… I’m thinking that I really regret writing this in first person. >.< Sigh. Nothing I can do about it now, unless I wanna rewrite the ENTIRE thing, which I actually am considering… but screw it, I’ll make do for now.

Anyway, I’m still up in the air about a few ideas I’ve got going on in my head. I can tell you that the next three chapters are going to be pretty awesome, though. =)

I’d like to acknowledge, Lisa, who loves to point out mistakes! Hi there! Yea, I know I do a lot of that stuff, forgetting words and misspellings… I figure if I get around to the rewrite that I might do, I’ll fix all that then. *shrugs* I’m glad you like the story, though! All of you, not just Lisa, thanks again for all the reviews. I appreciate it tons, I really do.

Moving on… anyone up for some SMUT!?!??!

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Showered, freshly shaved, dressed in blue jeans and my Modest Mouse tee shirt, I went upstairs a little before nine o’clock, feeling apprehensive and excited, nervous and sick, horny and scared. When was the last time I got laid? I couldn’t seem to remember. Was I really going to do this? Sleep with Murphy after this short period of time? Could I really say that it was just hormones, or was it the overwhelming urge to search his body for a tattoo I didn’t think really existed?

Did it matter?

I knocked on the door, then rubbed my sweaty hands on the sides of my legs. When no one answered, I counted to twenty and then knocked again. This time I heard footsteps, and a moment later Murphy answered the door, and all the worries and concerns in my head went flying out in an instant.

He was dressed in black pants that barely clung to his hips and a button up shirt, that currently wasn’t buttoned at all. He flashed me that dimpled smile and gave me an appraising look. “You’re early.” he said quietly, and I nodded. “Couldn’t wait?” he stepped aside and gestured for me to come inside. I took a deep breath and stepped out of the hallway and into his apartment.

He shut the door, and I heard the lock click. The sound seemed so loud, and I felt my skin prickle. A moment later I felt his hand on the small of my back, and he rested his cheek against my shoulder blade. “You smell wonderful.” he whispered.

I turned around, and he lifted his head up a little, still smiling. “Murphy-”

He shook his head to indicate I shouldn’t say anything. “I know what you’re thinking.” he wrapped his arms around my waist, his hand slipping under my shirt and sliding up my back. “So don’t think.” I put my arms around him, and he nodded. “That’s better. Kiss me.”

I did as I was told, lowering my head to press my mouth to his. He was a wonderful kisser; that nipping thing he did made me feel dizzy, his tongue did wonderful things inside my mouth. I concentrated on that, on the feel of him, and before I knew exactly what I was doing, I had him by the hips, pushing him backwards and up, lifting him enough that our pelvises fit together. His feet were off the ground and he wrapped his legs around my hips, his arms going around my shoulders for balance, and when I thrust against him, trying out the new position, he made a whimpering sound and broke the kiss.

“Christ.” he whispered, and I leaned down to lick his throat. His head fell back, hitting the door with a thud, and I thrust again. “Bedroom, now.” he told me, but I ignored him in favor of continuing my exploration of his neck and jaw line with my mouth, my hips rocking against his. I couldn’t remember ever feeling this aroused, and it was scary and amazing. His legs tensed around me and he grabbed a handful of my hair and tugged. I lifted my head and he kissed me again, that fantastic tongue of his swirling into my mouth.

Somehow I managed to get his shirt off of him, and when he whispered, “Johnny, the bedroom.”, I did try to listen, but we only got as far as the couch. He didn’t seem to have a problem with that, and stretched out under me, arching his back and rubbing against me like a cat in heat…

…but that thought made Lonnie pop into my head, and I remembered the tattoo. He must’ve sensed my momentary lapse, because he opened his eyes and looked at me curiously. I hooked my thumbs in the waistband of his pants and pulled them down his legs. I figured that was a good place to start, so I kneeled between his feet, running my hands up his legs and pushing them towards his chest. He hadn’t been lying about his ass, either; it was phenomenal.

I took my time, moving up his legs with my hands and mouth, and he writhed and panted and moaned, clearly enjoying what I was doing to him. I saw no tattoo from the waist down, but I knew I had to be sure. So I bypassed his cock, which was a good length and thickness, and currently hard as a rock and dripping precum, and instead licked and bit my way up his chest to his nipples. He growled at me, his hands in my hair, and tried to push me back down, but I ignored him. I bit down on his left nipple, not hard, but enough to make him arch against me and yank my hair, making my scalp ache.

I grabbed his hip and sat up, meeting his eyes. He looked dazed, almost totally out of it, which did wonders for my self-esteem. “Over.” I told him, and pulled his hip. He got the point, and his face flushed even as he smiled and did as he was told. He braced his elbows on the arm of the couch and got up on his knees. His back was arched slightly, his skin pale, his shoulders lightly freckled… and no tattoo to be found.

I breathed a tiny sigh of relief and wrapped my arms around his waist, bending forward to kiss the back of his neck as I slid my fingers around his cock. He moaned loudly and thrust his ass back against me, grinding against my own erection.

“Johnny, hurry up.” he practically growled at me. “You’re killing me, please just…” he trailed off into another one of those whimpers and thrust against me again. I let go of him and sat up on my knees to get rid of my clothes. He made an impatient sound at me and threw a look that I could only read as desperate over his shoulder. Once I was naked, I ran my hand along one smooth globe of his ass and asked him about condoms.

“Coffee table.” he said, and I reached over, pulling open a drawer.

“Do you want me to-”

“-fuck me immediately?” he asked, sounding hoarse. “Yes.”

I rolled on a condom as fast as I could, which wasn’t fast enough for him, because he half turned, grabbed the base of my cock, and positioned me at his entrance. I flinched at the pressure of his hand, before I could say anything about preperation, he started pushing against me, and I felt myself begin to slide into him.

He let out a low, painful sound, but didn’t stop, even when I grabbed his hips and hissed at him to wait. “Just do it.” he groaned, and I closed my eyes and pushed. His entire body tensed and he arched up, his back almost vertical, and let out a long, hissing, “Fuck.”

I waited, my arms around his waist, my face against his shoulder, until his breath sort of sounded normal and he began to squirm against me. “Are you okay?” I whispered, a little worried.

“No.” he told me flatly. “Move, now.” I rocked my hips experimentally, and he shuddered, and met my movement with his own. I found a rhythm easily with him, his back against my chest, one hand around his cock and the other sliding along his chest and stomach. He leaned his head back against my shoulder and worked against me, panting loudly, and I realized pretty quickly that this was going to be over fast for both of us.

I grabbed his hips and pushed him off of me, making him whine and throw a murderous glance over his shoulder, until I pulled him over onto his back and hooked my arms under his knees. I pushed myself back inside of him, and he arched, burying his hands in his own hair, and made a low, animalistic sound that nearly finished me off right then and there. Just looking at him like this was almost enough; all that pale, smooth, beautiful skin slicked with sweat, his eyelids fluttering, his teeth clenched and his head thrown back. He writhed, trying to get me to move again. I reached down, pulled him up by the back of the head to kiss him, and as his tongue swept into my mouth I slammed into his hard. Obviously I found the right spot, because he screamed against my mouth, his hands grabbing my shoulders, his short, sharp nails digging into my skin. His legs wrapped around my waist and soon we were slamming against each other almost hard enough to hurt.

I could feel his entire body start to shudder as I thrust into him, and a moment later he tore his mouth away from mine, his head going back and his spine stiffening, and I felt hot stickiness against my stomach as he moaned out, “Oh God, Johnny, oh God, fuck!” and the tensing contractions around my cock from his orgasm finished me off, too. I thrust into him hard one more time, feeling like I was going to pass out… and I might’ve for a second, because then we were just laying there, me still buried in him but softening, my face into the crook of his neck while I panted for breath, his hands sliding soothingly up and down my back.

He chuckled under me, his chest rumbling softly, and kissed the top of my head. “Wow.” he whispered, and I smiled against his neck. “That was… wow.”

“Thanks.” I mumbled, and worked myself up onto my elbows to kiss him. “I concur with your statement.”

He squirmed, and I moved off of him, hearing him hiss when I finally pulled out of his body. “Do you mind if I-” he gestured at the hall, and I nodded. “Do you want to join me?” he asked, smiling.

I shook my head. “My legs probably won’t support me.” I told him, and he laughed. “You go ahead. I’ll sit here and recuperate.”

He kissed me one more time before getting up and padding down the hall. I sat there for a few minuts, until my breath was a little calmer, than went into his kitchen to dispose of the condom and use some paper towels to clean up.

I got dressed and found a bottle of water in Murphy’s fridge, so I sat on the couch and drank that while I waited for him to come out. Eventually he did, looking pink and damp and smelling like soap, with that big, dimpled grin on his face.

“Hi.” he said, curling up next to me and resting his head on my shoulder. “How are you?”

I chuckled. “I’m good.” I said, and put my face against his hair. “Feel better?”

“Tons.” he mumbled, then yawned. “Wanna sleep over?”

I tensed, and he sighed and pulled away. “Okay.” he nodded his head. “No big deal.”

“It’s just… well, Lonnie gets…”

“It’s cool.” he smiled again and kissed the tip of my nose. “Cupcake’s like that, too, sometimes.” he laughed. “She’s going to go nuts when she gets home tonight. She can tell, you know?”

I nodded and stood up. He did too, and hugged me. “Thank you, Murphy.”

He laughed. “I don’t think I’ve ever been thanked before.” he said, and gave me a wink. “I feel like I should thank you.”

I smiled. “I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

“Okay.”

I kissed him one more time and left. Once I was back in my apartment, I took a shower myself, feeling sore and satiated and warm. Once out, I went into the kitchen, where Lonnie was sitting on the table looking annoyed.

“Did you have fun?” he asked, and I didn’t answer him. “Shower didn’t help, you smell like a whorehouse.”

“Oh, fuck you, kitty.” I grumbled. “You need to back the hell down from this one. For your information, he didn’t have the fucking tattoo.”

“No?” Lonnie asked, not sounding surprised.

“No. And I checked everywhere.” I gave him a meaningful look, and he averted his eyes, making a disgusted sound. “So he’s not the devil and you can just shut up.”

“Devil or no, you still jumped into bed with him way too fast.”

“Thanks for the concern, Dad.”

“Well, excuse me for showing some concern about your sexual promiscuity, Johnny, but I really don’t think you acting like a-”

“Wait.” I hissed at him, listening hard. “I think I heard-”

“Don’t interrupt me!” Lonnie snapped. “I swear, you’re the rudest-”

“Johnny, I think you’re wallet fell out of-” Murphy stopped in the doorway of my kitchen, his face frozen, and for a moment nothing happened at all. Lonnie looked from me to Murphy and then back to me, and I slowly met Murphy’s wide, confused brown eyes.

“Did…” he licked his lips and pointed with the hand holding my wallet at the cat on the table. “Did he just talk?” His voice was so quiet, so squeaky, I barely understood him.

Lonnie stood up, his tail flickering, and sighed. “Well, fuck.” he muttered. “This is awkward.”

Murphy let out a disbelieving little giggle. Then he dropped the wallet at the same time his eyes rolled back in his head, and a moment later he went crashing bonelessly to the floor.

“Did he just pass out?” Lonnie asked, sounding shocked.

“Holy shit.” I whispered. “He passed out.”

“No one’s ever passed out before.” Lonnie told me. He turned his eyes at me and glared. “Well, help him, jackass.” he snapped, and that got me moving. I went over and collected Murphy’s limp form into my arms, carried him into my room, and deposited him on the bed.

“You shouldn’t have done that.” I told Lonnie, who was following me closely. I went into the bathroom and got a washcloth damp with cold water. “I could’ve just talked him out of thinking you talked. Why’d you open your mouth?”

“Well, I figured we were boned. He heard me.” Lonnie retorted, hopping up onto the bed and stalking up to sit beside Murphy’s head. “I mean, I’ve had people scream, and throw things at me, and be amazed, and thought it was a joke… but no one’s ever fainted before.”

“What the hell am I going to do?” I asked the cat, folding the washcloth into a strip and laying it carefully against Murphy’s forehead.

“Well,” Lonnie sounded thoughtful, “We could kill him.” I shot him a dirty look. “What? It’s an option.”

“I’m sure you’ve learned the best way to dispose of a body over the years.”

“Hardly.” he sniffed. “But I’m good at making it look like suicide. There’s an angle with both gunshot wounds and wrist slitting that-”

“Shut up.” I grumbled, and he did for once. I sat on the bed beside Murphy, put my elbows on my knees and my head in my hands, and tried to figure out what the fuck I was going to say when he woke up.