The Shadow I'm In

“What happened to you? You look shell shocked.” Crimson asked from her spot on my bed, gamers’ magazine open in her lap. “Not to mention hot!” She closed the magazine and slid off my bed.

Like a girl? Keep repeating over and over inside of my head, even when Crim took my shoulders and looked me up and down. She pressed her body against mine to lean over my shoulder to look at my back instead of just turning me around. I was putty in her hands right now, I had something else on my mind.

“Earth to Basil!” Crimson snapped her fingers in front of my face, making me jump slightly.

“I need a different shirt. Sc- I don’t like this one.” I caught myself before I said his name. What would she think if I went by what he had said?

“Okay. It does seem a little small.” She left go of me and left me where I stood next to the door. I dropped my old clothing onto the floor into a pile that was already forming next to my laundry basket. The girl was looking through a pile she must have made while I was away, before pulling out a light blue t-shirt. Again this one was plain and I’ve had it since I was about 10 years old. “Here try this one. I think it’s a little bigger.”

I held the fabric in my hands for a moment. He had gotten me this. Well Mom had bought it for him to give to me at Christmas that year. It still held the slight stiffness that comes with new shirts. I think I’ve only worn it once or twice not wanting to over use it so it would just be thrown away. Back then I was infatuated with him too it seemed. I was so happy and excited about the wrapped gift that- was-.

My eyes opened wide for a moment. I never gave him his birthday gift! How could I forget that?

“Basil! Come on! We have to leave soon!” Crimson whined from in front of me. I blinked my eyes rapidly for a moment coming back to myself. “And I think who ever bought you these pants were trying to tell you something.” The girl tugged at the jeans that clung to my hips without the help of a belt. “I found like 5 more pairs in your closet.”

“My-my grandmother bought them for me.” I stated as I headed to the door to return to the bathroom to try on the new shirt that she had handed me.

“Go ahead and change in here. It’s not like you have boobs or anything. And I’m not going to molest you.” Crim raised a brow at me as I hesitated. I wasn’t comfortable showing my body to others, more so now then ever. I could feel Ken’s burning eyes on me every time I removed my clothing from my body, especially in my own room.

“I don’t know.” She shrugged her shoulders at me.

“Whatever you do, do it now. We have to leave. And I’m packing the rest of your clothes.” She held up a duffle bag that I guess she had found while scooping my closet. I nodded my head and walked out of my room once again, making my way to the bathroom.

It was when I was saying good-bye to my parents that I started feel like I was doing something wrong. Something forbidden.

“Have fun. And give us a call later tonight when you get to your hotel.” My mother stated laying a hand on my shoulder for a moment before heading back into the house after giving Mrs. King a smile and a wave of her hand.

“Have a wonderful time!” Dad seemed more enthusiastic a large smile having been plastered on his face since this morning. His hand was set on top of my head to ruffle my already messed hair. My eyes were looking down at our cement sidewalk, though I glanced up and offered my father a small smile.

I felt bizarre walking over to the hybrid where Crimson and her parents were waiting for me. I felt almost like I was one of those fish the big aquariums, being looked at from behind a large sheet of glass. The clothing that Crim had put me in wasn’t helping either. In the tight fitting shirt and the jeans. I felt more exposed then ever and the way to the car was longer then it had ever been before.

My hand once again grasped the handle that would allow me into another family’s world. I quickly climbed up into the SUV shutting the door after me. I was seated behind Mr. King, who would be driving. I waved at Dad after I clicked my seatbelt shut. My stomach started to feel queasy once the car started pulling out of the driveway and down the street.

“Don’t be so nervous! It’s not like we’re going to eat you for dinner or something.” Crimson stated from beside me. “As it was, you don’t have every much meat on your bones. So I don’t think you’d be very tasty.”

“Crimson!” It was her mother that spoke.

“What? I was only teasing.” The blonde haired girl sat back in her seat her arms crossed over her chest. I couldn’t help it. With the slight argument between parent and child it loosened my muscles making me more relaxed. I don’t know why it made me more relaxed but it did, if the small upward curving of my lips was anything to go by.

“So Basil. Do you know anything about French meals? The restaurant that we are going to is French.” Mr. King looked at me through the rearview mirror a he spoke, the smile still keeping to his lips.

“No. I have no i-idea.” I spoke while shaking my head from side to side for a moment.

“Okay. We can work with that. We’ll ask questions on the food that you like and find out which entrée with be best for you. Though we’ll have to make sure when we get there that they have it. That is what you were getting at wasn’t it Fritz?” The look that Mrs. King gave her husband, was one that I craved from him. It hit me with a shock. I wanted to be looked at like that by him. That look of understanding and knowing what the other was thinking, of love that the other felt because of that understanding. Mother and Father never looked at each other like that, that I saw at least. It made me blush and look away from the older couple.

“Okay so we will start with meats.” Selima stated. “Beef, chicken, fish.”

“You could always go with snails.” I looked over at Crimson, who was texting on her phone. She felt my eyes on her, she snorted at the disgusted look I gave her. “They really aren’t too bad. You should try them.”

“I’d rather not.” I stated, my spine shivering with the thought of eating something that slithered around on the ground. I remember once when I was a little kid, being over at my grandparents’ house. There were snails and slugs everywhere and he had left me there by myself claiming to be getting some salt to kill them. I was terrified to say the least. I was crying in terror by the time someone had come to see where I was.

“Tell you what, I’ll order the snails and you can try one of them.”

It continued like this for the whole trip to the city. We discussed of foods that they had tried and what I would like from the restaurant that we were going to. We had decided on a chicken dish that they were sure that they would have. Though, I held my ground on not trying one of Crimson’s snails.

The road that we turned off of when we reached the city was that of a suburb. The houses all neat in rows with nicely greened and cut lawns, flowers blowing and brushes trimmed.

“Just to worn you, my sister is a neat freak. Her house always smells like bleach and cleaner. Don’t be afraid to dirty something. It just gives her something to do later on.” Selima stated with a small laugh as we turned into on the many houses down the lane. This house was slightly different from the other ones, there was stained glass at the top of large bay windows. The siding of the house was a light colored brick, next to all the reds of the other houses. In all, this house stuck out like a soar thumb, though it was a very pretty soar thumb.

“Alright, time to go say hi to Auntie Eden and Uncle Frank.” Mr. King stated as he turned off the car and popped open the car door. I opened my door as well with everyone else. But I felt so under clothed and out of place. They were dressed in formal wear and here I was in a pair of jeans that I have just now put on for the first time and a t-shirt that was likely too small for me. Crimson came around the side of the SUV and sung her arm around my shoulders.

“It’ll be alright, you passed my parents so my aunt and uncle should be a breeze, plus it will be an introduction then we are off to my cousin’s room.” I let a small smile curve my lips, but I still felt nervous. “And just to let you know, Roden is weird. He’s a gamer, and they all are weird.” I wanted to put in that I was kind of a gamer too, but we were already passing through the front door.

“Hello! Selima you look lovely! Fritz, just as handsome as ever, I see.” The women that was speaking looked like Crimson’s mom almost to a tee. Her hair was blonde though, instead of brown and that was the only thing that was different about the two, the same small body frames and the same colored eyes.

“Careful honey, don’t get any ideas, I still have first dips.” Crimson’s mother stated as she hugged her sister.

“Like I would give up sleeping with Frank.” The women laughed together for a moment more before her husband walked into the room, apron hanging around his neck and tied around his waist.

“Frank! Nice to see you again.” Selima went over and hugged the man just as she had her sister.

“Pleasure to see you again Selima.” The man spoke with an accent.

“Aunt Eden was a big traveler and loved to stay in England. They fell in love there and paid for everyone to take a plane out for them to get married over there. That was before I was born though.” Crimson whispered into my ear.

“Blamey! Crimson just gets more beautiful every time I see her. Com’ here and give your uncle a hug!” The man opened his arms for Crimson to come to him to but Eden got in the way.

“Not until I get mine! After I’m her blood.” The woman stuck her tongue out at her husband who was pouting behind her.

“Oh there is enough for everyone!” The blonde haired girl stated as she gave her aunt then her uncle a hug.

“Oh, now. This must be the young man that your mother has been telling me about.” Eden stated walking over to me.

“Is he the one you’re snogging now Crimson?” Frank asked walking over his niece still wrapped around him.

“No, no. He’s just a friend.” The Brisitish man gave her a look. “Really! He’s gay.” She stated matter of fact.

“You are very cute.” Eden stated wrapping me up into her arms, my body going stiff almost even before her body touched mine. “Must all the cute ones be gay?”

“I asked myself the same question the first time I saw him.” Selima said coming over and pulling her sister off of me, almost feeling my discomfort herself.

“Well Basil and I are going to go see Roden.” Crimson took herself away from her uncle and took a hold of my arm, pulling me away from the family gathering.

“They seem nice.” I stated when we were out of ear shot, walking down a hallway.

“They are.” We stopped at a rather plain door. “Hey, Rode, we’re coming in! So put it away and close out your porn!”

“Fuck you Crim! I’m not jacking.” A male voice sounded from the other side of the door.

“Good, because it would have freaked me out if you were. Now point out the places where you do because I’m not sitting in it.” I didn’t expect the boy that I saw on the other side of the door. He was clearly not Crimson’s aunt and uncle’s blood child. His skin was a dark brown, his hair black.

“I would avoid sitting on anything then.” He stated, eyes were glued to the television in front of him, game control in his hands and a microphone in front of his mouth.

“Take your eyes away from the screen for a moment, nasty.”

“Why? I’ll be blinded if I look at your face.” They fought like I figured normal brothers and sisters would, battering back and forth. Crimson sighed dramatically.

“Then don’t look at me. Look at Basil and introduce yourself, duckweed.” His eyes turned to look at me then, standing awkwardly in the space right behind his door.

“Hi, nice to meet you, my name is Roden.” His eyes were very pretty. A dark brown with dark lashes surrounding them.

“H-hi.” I stated, my hands clutched behind my back. “I’m Basil.”

“A pleasure. Crimson you’re a munter.” The eyes turned back to the screen after he spoke. Crimson snorted at the words, taking a seat on one of the swivel chairs in the room.

“F you, Roden.”

“Sit down somewhere, you’re making me nervous and I promise I didn’t get any jizz anywhere.” I did as he said and took a seat on his bed, feeling even more awkward. Plus I didn’t know some of the words that he was spitting out in his speech.

“What’s jizz?” I asked after a moment of listening to the zips and zooms of Roden’s game.

“Cum.” The boy answered, making my cheeks heat up at the bluntly stated word.

“Its slang over in England, Uncle Frank started teaching him some and now he never stops using it.

“Well what am I supposed to do when I hear it all the time?” The boy asked turning to the side slightly, his voice strained as he fought a difficult monster.

“You hear American slang more then British slang, you should use that.”

Crimson and her family seemed so normal. What I would expect a family to be like. Teasing each other, comfortable with each other. Ours was nothing like this. We barely spoke to each other. He didn’t tease me like a big brother would, Dad didn’t either, Mom didn’t really speak to me at all, well unless she wanted me to do something. We never went out for family dinners at restaurants, though we did eat together every night. This was what I wanted. This closeness where you could joke and never take anything that the other said seriously.


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A/N: Sorry it took so long guys. My bird (a rather large one with a sharp beak, I hate her. -.-) bit through the power cord to my laptop when I went to work. I had to order a new, there was no fixing the old one, and it was on back order for a long time. I just got it a few days ago. Ugh. I thought I was going to die without my laptop.