Profe *will update soon*

Chp 9



If you deny it long enough, will it simply go away?



Uriel



After placing Victoria in her crib, I go to my bedroom. Marsha is sitting on our bed with a mirror in her hand applying several lotions; I watch her standing by the door for several minutes before she even notices me.



In a small corner of my mind, I'm relieved to see that she is not waiting for me, that she is wearing her comfy pajamas. I smile at her as she finishes applying her last lotion and puts them away in the first drawer of her night stand. She smiles at me and I feel guilty. What have I done?



Her blond curls are braided and hang over her left shoulder; she has removed her contact lenses and instead is wearing a frameless pair of glasses. She still looks beautiful and she is so sweet and accepting she has always accepted me just for who I am.



Who am I?



"Are you going to stand there all night?" I smile back at her and softly shake my head. I walk to the left side of the bed and slide between the blankets, pulling out the book I am currently reading.



"Will I get a kiss today? Or will you avoid me some more?" She is still sitting her back straight against the headboard. But her head is turned towards me, her eyes serious no hint of tease.



"I haven't been avoiding you." I lean forward and quickly tap my lips against hers. She gives me a confused look.



"You know you can tell me what ever is bothering you," she while opening her own book and searching for the right page.



"I know," I say finding my spot on the book.



"So this Spanish thing how are you planning on going about it?" I feel terrible. Perhaps I should just come clean tell her what happened. I look at her out of the corner of my eye. How would she react to it?



"Mmm, I’m not sure. I'll check the college. See if they are offering some classes."



"You won't go over board with it, will you?" I shake my head. "When it comes to studying you tend to... exaggerate a bit. I don't want you spending all your free time on this. You have to remember you have a wife and daughter now."



"I know." I still can't manage to look at her directly.



"It'd be nice if you made some friends though." I nod. Then her book hits me.



"Hey!!" I finally look at her.



"You need to tell me what is going on. You have been acting strange since you got home. So just spit it out already!" She sounds like an angry squirrel. I should tell her I should just go ahead and tell her get this over with.



"What do you consider cheating?" Well I'm a coward okay? I can't just blurt it out, “Hey, honey, I kissed a male student today”. She might be small, but she has strength, that book hurt!



"Huh?" She turns her whole body towards me. "Where did that question come from? I know you Uriel; you are not capable of being unfaithful. Did someone say something to you about me?" At this point tears start to brim the bottom of her eyes "I trust you with all my heart and I expect the same from you, do you believe I'd be unfaithful?" Her voice is heavy with hurt.



Some how my guilt has managed to multiply itself. I don't know what to say so I take her into my arms and kiss the top of her head as her warm tears wet my pajama shirt. "No, angel; never in a million years would that thought cross my mind. It was a question a stupid question. You know how my mind is always going 300 miles per hour. I just said something that I have been debating on."



The wet spot on my shirt starts to cool off. I guess fresh tears have stopped rolling down her sweet face. I can't ever touch Luciano in that way again. I will ruin my career and my family. I will hurt the most important person in my life. He's a student. It is morally wrong. He is a boy and I'm a married man.



My book is forgotten as her breathing slows down. I pull her closer to me so I can breathe in her fruity scent as I let my self fall to sleep. Hoping no dreams of Luciano will invade me tonight.









Luciano



My face fell flat against Dave's thigh, upper thigh. My mother continued to yell, and I'm pretty sure she even started to speak Spanish and Italian, I've mentioned before she isn't fluent in either. I know that she only knows 'bad words' in Italian, and the little Spanish she picked up from me and my dad is also full of cuss words.



I feel her hands on my head and she pulls me by my hair, by MY hair!! Off the sweet thigh I was hiding on.



"You!" She points a finger at Dave who's only reaction ‘til now has been to cover himself off and mock a tomato. "Out of my house before I call your parents!" Before she can even finish saying 'call your parents" Dave has sprinted off the bed, gotten his pants on, left his boxers on the floor next to mine. I'm sure that in Dave's panicked mind the thought that my mom does not know his name or who his parents are hasn't crossed.



My beloved mother still has me by the hair and I am reminded of this when she yanks on it a bit when I bid farewell to Dave.



"Call me!! Ow!"



I very calmly remove her vice grip from my hair. Am I ashamed? Do I feel guilty? Not really it isn't like she has never seen me naked before and it isn't as though she doesn't know I have sex. Come on...you know the expression everyone and their mother knows. In my case it's everyone, their mother and my mother knows.



"Get dressed and clean all this up," she says while walking to the door. Now I don't know what she is, if she is disappointed, still hysteric or what. I can't read her and that worries me. I've sobered up, but I'm sure I still smell. Luckily she hasn't noticed. "Meet me down stairs when you are done" The bright side to all of this? She didn't see my friend Johnnie still sitting by the couch where I left him. I pull my boxers on and sort of fix her bed. She will probably throw the covers in the wash, so why spend too much time on that.



I decide that to drink a bit more of whiskey would be risking it, so instead I take it to my room together with my clothes where I hide it behind my dresser. I pull some p.j. pants on and make my way down to get my ear chewed off.



"You have no respect for me or for this house!" I haven't even made it all the way down the stairs and she is already going at it. "I just..." Here go the over dramatics. "Oh god, Luchiano where did I go wrong?" and she's crying. I hate it when she pronounces my name like that.



"Is that boy your... your boyfriend?" She seems hopeful, like if I am some how committed to Dave it will make the fact that she found us naked with my face on his crotch any better. I lift both my brows at her in a 'are you serious' sort of way.



"Nope." I cross my arms and lean against the banister.



"Do you even respect your self?" I roll my eyes at her. The tears in her eyes continue to roll down her cheeks but her voice is some how un-affected by them. It seems too controlled.



"Oh Luciano. What am I going to do with you? Have I failed this much as a mother?" She annoys me so much.



"Whatever, look I'm sorry you saw that, but you should have let me known you were coming home early."



"This is my house! That is my room! You are a teenager. I shouldn't have to let you know when I plan to come home so you can schedule your fucks around it! You can't continue like this you are going to get someone pregnant"



"If you didn't notice, Mother, if it were possible that in what Dave and me where doing to get pregnant, the pregnant one would have been me." It's so hard not to laugh, but I need to come out of this with the least of punishment, though what the hell is she going to do? Ground me?



"Don't be smart with me. Luciano please at least take this seriously"



"What is there to take seriously? You walked in on me, you didn't even knock. I wasn't doing anything you didn't know I do and we used a condom. So what is the big deal? I used your room so what the fuck? I've asked you several times for a new bed."



"Just go to your room." She sounds deflated. I am safe, but really, I didn't do anything so I was safe all along, unless she notices my breath.



I had to jinx myself. I am turning around to head to my bedroom when:



"I can smell the alcohol from here. You're grounded for two weeks, I'm also taking your cell phone and car keys and you won't get an allowance this week or next."



"Fuck NO!"



"I won't tolerate that language!"



"I don't give a fuck what you will tolerate. You said I could go to Rob's this weekend and my dad pays for my cell phone so you have no fucking say in it."



"You live under my roof and you will do as I say. When I said you could go to Rob's house you were not drunk, you could stand without swaying, and you breath didn't smell like a fucking bar!" And she tells me to watch my language.



"Fuck you. Me vale un pedo my cell stays with me and I'm going out this weekend and if you keep bothering, you won't see me ‘til Monday"



"Don't you dare threaten me Luchiano! I am your mother you are nothing but a spoiled sixteen year old"



"It's Luciano, not Luchiano!! At least pronounce my name the right way! You want to ruin my weekend because you have no life!!"



"I don't want to ruin your nothing. You can't be getting drunk on a Tuesday and expect me to just ignore it! Where did you get the liquor anyway?" she starts going to the stairs. I know where she is headed to.



"Don't you dare go into My room! You can't invade my privacy in that way!" Fuck, she is going in there and she will look through my things, there is too much in there that I don't want her to find.



She doesn't answer me. She just keeps climbing up the steps. I run past her and stand in front of my door "You have not right to go in here," I growl.



"I have no right to go into your room, but you can go have sex on my bed without a problem?" She is inches away from me.



"I didn't go through your stuff" '



"Luciano, move. NOW"



"NO!!" We glare at each other for about a minute then she smacks her hand hard against the side of the door and shakes her head.



"I don't know what I'm going to do with you." She turns around and leaves to her room. I strain to see what she is doing. She is removing her covers and with the back of her hand dries up some tears from her face. After doing that about three times she sits on the bed and starts bawling into her hands.



I go back to my room and lock my door.