Life Of Melanie (Completed)

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The lamp on my night stand let off a soft glow. Again I read the two words written at the top of the lily bordered paper; Dear Brice. I had been sitting at my desk for over an hour racking my brain for the right words to say to him. I didn't want it to sound desperate, but then again I didn't want it to be too impersonal. What do you say to someone that you........ care about, but know you will never see them again. I mean, should I even write him? What's the point...... right? The longer I sat there the more confused I got. Finally, I decided I wasn't in the decision making mood. Yawning I stretched, and decided I needed a walk.

Entering my livingroom was like walking into an apple orchard. I breathed in the aroma. It smelled like, home.
"Hey mom," I said as I leaned down to kiss my sleeping father's head.
"Hey honey," she called never putting down her book. Walking behind the couch, I wrapped my arms around my mother's neck and asked, "Good book?"
She looked up then kissed my cheek, "Yea."
"Well, carry on, just wanted to let you guys know, I'm going for a walk." I told her walking to the front door.
"Okay, honey, dinner will be ready at seven," she informed, still engrossed in her book.
I waved at her and closed the door behind me.

I stood at the front door for a moment, trying to decide where to go. The park was only about a mile from here, and it had a really nice walking trail, so that's where I headed.
It felt so good being home. I'd been home for three days, but this is really the first time I had been alone. Which is weird in itself, because I live for alone time. At least I used too. As I passed all of the old familiar buildings and houses, I tried to pretend it was the first time I had seen them. Some memories never fade.

It was a beautiful day. A perfect seventy degrees, with a soft breeze. Couldn't ask for a better day for a long refreshing walk. I could already tell that being out in the fresh air was clearing my head. I began to relax a little when I head a car pull along beside me. Keeping my pace, I glanced over at the car, trying not to look directly at it. I could see that it was a black, older model, Mustang. It was loud, that was not counting the music blaring out of the windows. When the passenger side window began to roll down, I picked up my pace. I was getting a little nervous, until I heard someone call my name. I stopped and leaned down to peer inside the car. There sitting behind the steering wheel, was Lucas Hope.

"Hey," I greeted, with a smile, feeling my stomach tie in knots. I kept thinking, ‘he actually remembered my name.' I really didn't want to be the giggling, stupid groupie, so I tried to play it cool. I tried to be myself.
"Hey," he acknowledged giving me a little wave. For a moment he just sat there looking at me. I stared back, waiting for him to say something. Finally he asked, "So um.... you need a ride somewhere?"
Trying not to let him know how nervous I was I replied, "Actually I was just going for a walk, nowhere in particular." When he dropped his eyes, I could tell he looked, a little, disappointed But hell, I wish I was going somewhere, so he could give me a ride. No pun intended.
"Oh.....so......you want to go for a ride?" He asked me rather shyly, "I mean, I'm just kind-of bored."
For the second time this week I wanted to pinch myself. If this were a dream...... actually this was a dream I had, had many times. I, however, was wide awake this time. I thought about it, I mean, I have known this guy since kindergarten, but he doesn't know I know him. I didn't have to think long. I looked at him and said, "Sure." I took a step back and opened the door. Lucas was gathering C.D.'s, and clothes from the passenger seat, making room for me to sit.

Once I was actually inside the car, I felt like a foreigner in a new country. I searched my mind for something clever to say. "Nice, car," was all I could come up with.
Smiling at me he said, "Thanks, I just got it."
After that it was silent for a moment. Not the comfortable silence I had experienced with Brice. I kept feeling the need to fill the void, but my mouth would not move.
"So, do you go to Burson High?" he asked while making a left at the stop sign.
This was exactly the question I wanted to avoid, "Um....yea." I answered truthfully.
"I thought you looked familiar, but I'm having a hard time placing you." he stated looking at me more than at the road.
"I've seen you around, but I don't think we have had any classes together," I told him honestly.
"Ahh.....," he voiced looking back at the road.

Again that awkward silence filled the air. ‘What am I doing here,' I thought to myself. ‘I must look like an idiot, what was I thinking getting into this car.' Then I glanced over at Lucas and remembered exactly why I was here, in this car. He was Lucas ‘freakin' Hope.

"So, you're in that band right?" I asked casually. "Um.....what is the name of it again." Playing dumb was actually kind-of fun.
"Grin, yea, you ever heard us play?"
"Yea, I saw you guys at the ‘Pool Hall' once or twice. I thought you guys rocked."
"Yea, we're hoping to get a real gig soon, you know, get our music heard."
"That's really cool," was all I could think to say. All of this time, waiting for him to talk to me, and I sound like a moron. ‘That's really cool,' how lame is that.
"So...Melanie....where do you want to go?"
Hearing him saying my name made me instantly want to pounce on him. But I controlled myself. "Um....I don't know, but I have to be home by seven." Oh my God.....I wish I had a switch to turn off my mouth. I wanted to suck the words back in and swallow them. I swear I will never speak again.
Chuckling he said, " I think I know a place we can just hang out but its out by the lake."
"I love the lake," I answered a little too quickly.
"Well, the lake it is," he said as he turned down the familiar gravel road.

The ride to the lake was almost as bad as the ride to the airport had been. Except for with my mother, I just wanted her to shut the fuck up. Lucas was opposite, I just wanted him to say something, anything. Finally letting out a long sigh, I reached for the radio tuner and said, "I know I'm not supposed to touch a ‘man's' radio, but I am tired of trying to think of something to say." With that Lucas laughed. That laugh was music to my ears. I just wish making him laugh came more easily. Turning the radio dail, listening for something decent to listen too, I caught the first few notes of my favorite song. "Oh my God, I love this song," I said turning it up and singing along. I could feel Lucas' eyes on me. I tried to act like he wasn't sitting two feet away from me, and continued to sing along. Glancing over at him I saw that he was smiling at me.
"What," I asked, "come on, you know you love it."
‘It ain't pretty after the show'...... I began again nudging him, trying to get him to sing along.
He just shook is head and laughed. I continued to sing along through the next three songs, until we finally reached our destination.
"Well, here we are," he said pulling to a stop.
"Nice," I said trying to sound sincere. The truth was, I knew where we were. I had been here before, never with a guy , considering this place was known as make out central. I was relieved to know that we were alone. If it had been any night of the week, this place would have been crawling with teenagers. I wanted Lucas to myself, just for a little while.
Taking the lead, I opened the door and stepped out of the car. It was getting a little cooler, so I was glad I brought my sweater. I stepped close to the edge of the water, and searched for the flattest stone I could find. Seeing one that would do, I picked it up and skipped it across the mirror like water. I watched as it hit the water three times before sinking beneath the surface.

"Nice throw," I heard Lucas say as he walked up beside me.
Laughing I replied, " I haven't skipped stones in awhile, must be like riding a bike."
"Must be...," He said looking at his shoes.
While I was searching the ground for another flat rock, I could tell that he had something on hios mind. "So, Melanie, what's you story, I mean I thought I knew everyone that went to our school." I wanted to say ‘you would have noticed me if you would have just looked,' but I didn't, instead I said simply, "I don't have a story."
I guess that answer was enough for him, but my mouth had a mind of its own. "Besides, how could you possibly notice me, when you're surrounded by half dressed teenaged girls."
Chuckling he replied, "Yea, I guess you're right, I mean, sometimes its hard to see the real people in a sea of fakes.
"Aw....I'm a real person, I feel special," I said sarcastically, " but I know what you mean. It must be agony, girls throwing themselves at you constantly."

At first he gave me a look, a weird look. Like he couldn't believe, I was talking to him like that. His gaze returned to the lake before he said, "Yea, well, it's hard to please everybody."
"Please yourself....that my motto," I offered knowing I had never used those words before in my life. I wanted so badly to be liked by him that I too, was being fake. Just what I didn't want to be. I had to try harder to be myself....... Standing up a little straighter and brushing myself off, I prepared to tell the truth. "The truth is, I have had the biggest crush on you forever." I could feel my cheeks turning red, so I added quickly before he could interrupt, " it's kind-of hard having a crush on someone everyone has a crush on; and I refuse to be a groupie, that's just not me."

His electric blue eyes peered into mine. He look astonished by my admission. There was that silence again, but it didn't last long. "If you have a crush on me, why didn't you ever talk to me?"
"Cause I was a coward." I said simply.
Laughing he replied, "you don't seem too scared now."
"Well, I'm not a coward anymore. I learned a lot about myself this summer. If I want something I have to go for it."
Turning to face me he said, "so you want me huh?"
I felt my whole body heat up a couple of degrees and I replied, "Maybe just a little, or maybe its just the thought of you." I tilted my head a little, and put on the most confident face I could muster, "the truth is, I don't know you. I only know what everyone sees."
"So what you're actually trying to say is, you want to get to know me?" He asked with a little cockiness.
"Sure, why not," was my reply. I watched him as he took a step closer to me, "You know, I think you are different than any other chick I have ever met."
Looking at him straight in the eye, showing no fear, I said, "Let me let you in on a little secret," then I leaned closer to him, my lips inches from his ear, I whispered, "I am."

That said, I walked past him to the edge of the water, and started searching for more flat stones. Soon after he followed suit. We spent the next hour or so skipping stones, and just enjoying each others company. There were a few awkward moments of silence, but we soon became more comfortable with each other. I was so glad I could be honest with him, and I hoped he could be the same with me. As the afternoon dwindled away, I told him I should be getting back, and we were on our way.


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We had been sitting in front of my house for a few minutes when he asked, " Do you think I could get your number, maybe we could go do something next week before school starts."
It amazed me how shy he could be, I had never seen this side of Lucas Hope. I got the distinct feeling not many had.
Giggling I said, "Gotta pen?"
Finding one in his glove box he handed it to me. Not having anything to write on, I grabbed his hand and jotted down my number on it. Recapping the pen and tossing it to him, I leaned over and gave him an innocent peck on the cheek, before climbing out of the car. I could still feel him watching me when I entered my house.

The apple blossom aroma that was the norm, had been over taken by my mother's cooking. Running past the kitchen on the way to my room I shouted to my mother, "I'll be right there, I have to make one quick call."

I closed the door to my bedroom and crossed the short distance to my desk. I picked up the phone and quickly dialed Clarissa's number. After a few rings I heard Clarissa's voice on the other line. Without acknowledging her greeting I said, "Oh my God!!! Clarissa, you will never believe what just happened to me."