The Pendant

“You’re quiet tonight. Well more quiet than normal.” James stated as he walked over to Jade. She had been leaning on the side of the boat staring out at the dark horizon for over an hour. “What are you thinking?”

“I’m thinking about a poem.”

“Really? You like poetry?”

“I may be dead but I still have some class thank you.” Jade all but snarled at him. “Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He is Dead.
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last forever: I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now; put out every one,
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun,
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the woods;
For nothing now can ever come to any good.”

“Wow that has to be one of the most depressing things I have ever heard.”

“Funeral Blues by W.H. Auden. I felt it was appropriate.”

“For what?”

“Chris was buried today.”

“I’m so sorry I wasn’t thinking.”

“Most people don’t when it isn’t something that directly affects them.”

“That’s not really fair.”

“Nothing in this world every really is.” James turned her by her shoulders to face him she quickly turned her head keeping her focus on the ocean.

“It’s ok to cry.”

“For what, the end of his suffering through this mortal coil, for him being in a place that he doesn’t have to hurt, or want, or need, or maybe for me? My tears are selfish. My tears disrespect him and belittle me.”

“No they don’t. It’s ok to miss him and even more ok to hurt. It just shows you have a soul or humanity, it is what makes you different from all the other demons walking this earth.”

“My tears aren’t for any of that. I hate him because he got to die, he got to pass over, and he gets to have his peace.” She turned and faced James for the first time that night. Her green eyes were flecked with red as she struggled to keep her demon at bay. “It doesn’t matter how many lives I save, how much good I do, I will never be accepted into any kingdom of peace after my death. I am a shell for a demon, a monster, a blood thirsty being that wants nothing more than for me to lean forward rip your throat out with my teeth and bathe in your blood. I was pulled from peace and rest to live this un-life. My tears, James, are not tears of sorrow but of jealousy. He got to leave, he left me.” A look of pure panic reached her eyes and her body shook. “He left me James, he just left me. He’s not coming back. He won’t be there when I get home. No that’s not my home, I don’t have a home. I’m homeless. I have no one they all left me. Everyone will always leave me.”

“You have me.” James whispered as he did the only thing he knew to do. He pulled her into a tight hug. He wrapped his arms tightly around her forcing her to rest her head on his chest. He could feel her cool body absorbing his body heat. He let his hand rest in her thick blond hair pulling her head closer to his chest. He rested his cheek on her head and whispered soothing words into her ear. He did not move, he did not judge, he just let her cry and gave her some of his warmth.

She sobbed leaving wet spots on his shirt. Her knees seemed to give out and he sank to the ground with her still in his arms. He let the hand that was not in her hair run along her spine. She held on to him, fisting his shirt, trying to pull him closer to her.

James silently thanked whatever god looked after creatures like Jade. Her pain, her tears, were anything but selfish. This girl had the weight of the world on her shoulders and was once again reminded how fragile human life was. She was forced to remember that she will always be alone, she had no other choice. His life, like everyone else around her, was a moment in time; a blink of an eye in comparison to what she would be living. She would feel this pain again over and over for the rest of her immortal life. Today was just the realization of the future pain. As much as he wanted to take it from her he could not. She needed to hurt and cry. She needed to know that people will come and people will go but there was always be someone there for her if she lets them, if she does not keep them away just because she may get hurt.

A few of the crew gave them a confused nod as they walked past the sobbing heap but they left them alone. The evenings work on the ship was pushed aside for the time being to allow the two non-crew members the time to work out what ever issues they seem to be having.

James held her without saying a word. He let her sob, shake, and eventually gag. She pulled from him and heaved, her sobs turning into whole body heaves. She splashed the deck with her last red meal. Her color paled even further as the borrowed blood fell from her lips before she had time to absorb it.

“I’ll go grab you some more Jade just sit right here.” James went to stand up but Jade reached out and grabbed his wrist.

Her eyes lowered to the deck she choked out, “Can’t there isn’t any more. That last bag had gone bad.”

“And you tried to eat it anyway?”

“What else would you have me do?” She growled deep in her chest. “I was burning up from the inside and there really isn’t any other option in the middle of the fucking ocean.”

“You could have had me.”

“Don’t you dare even think of offering that to me. My demon will remember that when the pain becomes blinding. When that happens I won’t be able to stop.”

“Yes you will.”

“You give me too much credit or you’re just stupid.”

“I trust you.”

“You really are just stupid.”

“Hey that’s not fair. Did you call Chris stupid?”

“Chris knew not to offer his neck to me. He understood that doing that is like covering yourself with bloody steaks and jumping into a pool of sharks.”

“I don’t believe that. Not with you. Others yes, but not you.”

“When the hunger gets bad enough there is no me left. I struggle every day when I am around people, their scents, their sounds, and their blood. I can control me when I am full but when I start to get hungry it gets harder. I have been rationing my food since we got on this boat. I haven’t been full in almost a week. Now I am out. I have nothing left and another few days on this fucking ship. By the time we dock I’ll be lucky, no you will be lucky if there is any me left.”

“I won’t let that happen, if I have to dive into the ocean and hog tie a whale to feed you I will.”

“Why do you care so much?”

“Call it a flaw. Plus I kind of like being alive.”

Jade nodded and pulled herself from the deck. Her pale chin was speckled with crimson and her eyes were surrounded by deep dark circles. Her once pale lips took on a shade of blue. Her green eyes refused to shine in the moonlight. She looked more like a corpse now than she had the whole five years she had been dead.

James wrapped his arm around her waist and lead her back down to the cargo hold. Her small body shook and her skin was colder than normal. It no longer felt like skin but wax. James guided her frail looking frame down the ladder then lifted her off the ground and into his arms. He walked the short distance to the space they had called home for the last week. Gently he laid her down and brushed her long blond hair from her eyes.

“You need to get out of here now James.” She mumbled before a snarl erupted from her throat.

“I’ll take care of this.” He reassured before jumping away as she lunged at him. She drug herself along the floor trying to reach him, her demon erupting across her face not wanting to die. James sent silent thanks that she was too weak to attack at full strength. “I promise Jade.” He turn an hurried up the ladder to talk to the captain in the helm. They needed to come up with a solution to this new problem and they needed it fast.

**A/N**

The poem I used in here is Funeral Blues by W.H. Auden. It is not mine but I wish it were.