ГАΨ (Gamma Alpha Psi)

NaNoWriMo Stats:
Words so Far: 26,694 or 53.39%
Words to Go: 23,306 or 46.61%

Chapter 6:
Abandon all Hope

I resign myself to having to get over my shyness when I wake up for the first time in the Gamma Alpha Psi house. I’m already awake by the time the alarm clock goes off waking up most of the boys and I think I really should have used that time to get dressed already. I sigh getting out of my blankets and grabbing up the skimpy clothes that will barely cover my body anyway. I look over the clothes for a second before realizing that I can’t put the shorts on with the boxers I’m currently wearing. When I look around to see how some of the other boys are managing it though I feel even more mortified. Still I strip off my boxers going without underwear all together as I slip on the tight black canvas shorts over my naked body. The shirt doesn’t bother me though I pull it on as well. Maybe being dressed like this today can help me get over this quicker. I determine with the hope that this actually works.

Then I catch Devin’s eyes on me when I finish dressing and I see he has as well. It really makes me hope that he didn’t see me stripping off my boxers to get into these shorts. I blush at the thought only to notice that Devin must be thinking I’m blushing from the look on face that is obviously telling me that he is regretting the forced abstinence as much as I am. Then I hear Kyle mention something about breakfast though and my stomach is rumbling making me follow him as avidly as the rest of the boys. My eyes just barely notice that Devin isn’t keeping up with the rest of us. I turn around to seek him out but he waves me on and I listen even though I’m wondering why he’s hanging back rather then going with the rest of us to breakfast.

When we get to the kitchen I feel like being simple, luckily most of the other boys there do too. I easily find some cereal and pour some for myself before thinking of the fact that Devin will probably catch up soon, so I pour him a bowl as well. Then I just sit down at one of the tables scattered around the large dinning room of this place. I save a seat for Devin as well, leaving his bowl in front of it even though I start eating from my own bowl. Devin joins me in a minute or so and I just look over him trying to figure out the reason for him hanging back but in the end I just have to ask. “So what took you so long?” I ask him.

“Nothing I just forgot my cell back in the room.” He tells me with a slight smirk on his face. He doesn’t really convince me but I don’t want bother with asking when it’s obvious that he doesn’t want to bother me with what ever it truly is. So we just eat calmly not speaking to each other and I shrug off the matter. Before I know it we’re making our ways out to the door and I head off to class.

My first few classes pass easily enough and then before I know it I’m eating lunch by myself since my classes don’t match up with Devin’s today. My math class that Chris is in though I’m in four days a week so I walk to it all the same after I finish eating. It almost seems like the bigger boy is waiting for me to walk into the classroom. I see him look over me and laugh easily. I know he had class with Devin already so he must have seen pledge clothes then as well. “Hey, what’s the deal?” I ask him not bothering to push off the way that he is laughing from looking at me.

“Not much, just laughing at the fact that Devin was right. Your outfit is worse than his. I didn’t think that was possible until I saw it.” He says and I start to roll my eyes before I think of something else and do it without taking the time to think it over.

I lean over towards Chris getting right in his face and smiling at him. “You like what you see?” I say and just as soon as the words are out of my lips I’ve walked away and sat in a desk across the classroom from him. I just hear Chris’ chuckle behind me but he doesn’t make a move to follow me as he sits down right where he is with a smirk on his face. I’m starting to wonder about that boy but at the same time I’m beginning to think that we might end up being good friends too.

When class ends I head back to the pledge house walking right in and going to where I’ve figured out the living room is. There are a few other boys there but not really any pledges. I see Kyle there but he’s really the only Gamma boy I recognize. All I get in recognition myself is a nod from Kyle and the rest of them simply ignore me in favor of watching the T.V. I sit down on the couch watching the show with them.

For a while all goes fine but then of frat boys get up at once. It isn’t even the end of a show; it’s right in the middle of a really interesting part. Yet the boys look right to me and the one other pledge in the room. “Get up. Follow us.” They say and I just feel my breath leave me as I do what they say knowing this must be the first test. The other boy seems like more of a loud mouth it seems like he’s about to speak up when Kyle looks right at him.

“Keep quiet, you’re being judged.” He tells him flat out seeming to make the other three mad at his bluntness but I know that the boy must thank him because he does keep his mouth shut as we follow the boys out of the fraternity. They lead us to a car in right outside the house and the other pledge moves to get in the back of it first. Right as he gets in a blindfold slips over my head and I know that the same thing happens to the other boy.

“Hey, what are you doing?” He argues and I can tell he is fighting this. Myself, I keep still and quiet doing what is expected of me half to pass the test and the other half keeps still for being too out of my element to refuse even if I knew how.

“Keep quiet, speak again and you get a strike.” One of the boys says and this time with my eyes cut off I don’t know which one said it. Still all seems to go well as I’m helped into the car meaning the other pledge must have shut up and gone along with this as well. It seems like we are in the car for a while as we move farther and farther from the campus, but for all I know we’re going in circles and they’ll drop us back off inside the campus walls.

I’m really not sure where we are when the car finally stops and I feel hands on me again guiding my body out of the car. The blindfold stays on me as the hands guide me until I feel other bodies close to mine. “Feel free to stand or sit. It shouldn’t be too much longer.” I hear the words whispered softly in my ear and at hearing it I decide to stay standing rather than be caught unaware when the time comes for them to pull the blindfold back off and I have to do whatever it is I have to do.

Gradually I hear what must be the sound of more boys showing up. Then I hear Dustin’s voice saying how there’s just one more pledge missing even though I don’t hear who it is. After a few more minutes the last one seems to show up though as everything happens at once. My blindfold is taken off my head with the same gentle attention I’ve been shown all along. I notice that the blindfold pulling must have happened to all of us at the same time as all of us seem to be trying to figure out where we are.

“Where the hell are we?” I hear one pledge yell out and I look over to see it is the same pledge I rode here with. Obviously he still hasn’t learned how to shut his mouth. I watch in fear as I’m sure of what will happen next.

“Strike.” Dustin calls out making me turn again as I realize the president is right in the middle of us pledges. Anyone else care to speak up?” He asks all of us but I don’t think any of us dare to do as he says. “Good. Pledges welcome to the first event. We are twenty miles from campus. There is a club about half a mile away. Your goal is to find a date off the street and convince him to come with you to the club. I don’t care what your age is, get in by any means. We’ll meet all of you at the bar.” He tells us even as he walks through us the whole time he speaks. In the end he has left us alone with just those instructions.

“The club is down this street. Let’s get moving, we’re only a little ways out of town.” One of the boys calls to all of us and before I know we are all following him toward town for this date dash. I look for Devin starting to rethink all of this so I move to be next to him

“Devin,” I call to him starting to say the words in my head but it seems like usual that he already has me figured out.

“It’s fine, James. Let’s just go come on.” He urges me and I know in his silent way he is giving me permission to flirt enough to pull off this event. In a way my heart loosens knowing he won’t mind but also in a way I worry more. We get into the town and a plan forms in my mind as I think about the fact that I need to get into this club despite my age. It’s not even like I have a fake id. card so I’m really in need of help here. Still it all clicks in my head as a way it will work.

I make my way straight to the club not bothering to pick up a date as it would ruin my plan for right now. When I see the guy letting people in I smirk right at him feeling my body move to show itself off in a way I hope is attractive and maybe a little seductive. He starts to face me the same way as the rest of the people he’s letting in. “ID?” He asks me so I just lean closer to him with a big smile on my face.

“I left it at home. You think you could let me this one time, I’ll pay you back later.” I tell him with a wink knowing this must be convincing. The bouncer glances slightly like he’s checking for his supervisors.

“I get off in fifteen minutes. Save a dance for me.” He tells me with a wink of his own then he lets me in without another problem. Once I’m in the place my eyes are searching wildly for a boy to be my ‘date’. Yet one approaches me before I even have a chance to flirt with anyone. He’s a bigger guy with a leather jacket on and he doesn’t look to bad but he looks a little scary.

“Hey, can I buy you a drink?” He asks me and I grin at him figuring I might as well use him to fulfill the requirements.

“Sure.” I tell him glad that we head over to the bar rather than he trying to dance with me because I’m not sure how I’m going to manage here. When we get to the bar my eyes search for the Gamma boys, finding Dustin almost immediately as he sits at the bar with a tumbler of whiskey in his hand. He nods to me as we approach the bar but he doesn’t say anything and I figure this must mean I’m good as far as this event is concerned. The big guy I’m stuck with, he introduced himself as Johnny, calls over the bartender.

I’m in for a sight though as it’s Chris who comes over behind the bar to get us our order. His eyes light upon me taking in the boy that is beside me instead of Devin but he seems like he is trying to keep it down. “Hey what can I get for you?” He asks Johnny first and when his eyes turn to me expectantly I see the hope there that I’m not messing around on Devin. I really don’t have the time to explain it right now though. I want to groan at this.

“An apple martini.” I tell Chris and he just nods going to make our drinks. When he comes back John pays the bill without even a real glance. I keep the drink to my lips, not that I want to slam it back, I just try to keep myself from having to talk as I feel nervous next to the bigger rough man I’m seated beside. Of course keeping my drink to my lips just makes it disappear quicker and I know I’m already a little buzzed. John leans over towards me.

“Let’s dance.” He tells me and I feel a little easier as I follow him out to the dance floor. The way John moves immediately warns me that I should pay more attention. My hips are drawn to his automatically and he grinds his crotch up against my ass. I turn around to yell at him but as soon as I turn around I feel his body on mine. His lips against mine. I freeze for approximately three seconds. Then I pull back and slap John across the face. It makes him mad for a moment I think he’s going to strike me back but then before I know it the hand he reaches out with is caught by another.

Chris suddenly stands there holding Johnny back from hitting me. All of the bartender’s attention is on the man in the leather jacket. “I’m going to have to insist that you leave.” Chris tells him and even though the man is bigger he takes the advice and leaves. Then Chris turns on me. “What the hell are you doing? First some dumb want to be biker is buying you a drink and then I see you two kissing. All I see next is he’s about to hit you. Do you want to explain this?” He asks me and I just want to collapse.

“Don’t freak out Chris. This… well I had to. It’s a challenge as a pledge we had to find a date and bring them here. I couldn’t take Devin as my date. Things just got out of hand. He tried to kiss me and I slapped him and well you know the rest.” I tell him as I feel tears fall down my cheeks. Chris sighs pulling me to him and holding me in his arms. The motion shocks me slightly but it feels good as well allowing me to cry. No one gives us a second look as several other couples dance standing as close together as we are.

“Shh… just relax. Come on James, I’ll buy you a drink on the house. You can just hang out with me for the rest of the night ok.” He tells me softly and the words make me feel better despite the fact that I know I probably shouldn’t have another drink with how quickly I downed the first one. All the same I feel like I could use it so I follow Chris back to bar. “You want another martini?” He asks me, letting me know that he was paying attention earlier when I ordered the drink. I just nod still not wanting to speak. Chris orders for me and I hear him bossing the other bartender around jokingly. It eases me up slightly and then before I know it the other bartender slides me a drink.

I start sipping my drink as my eyes clear up and I start to feel a little better. I know that most of my emotions were shock just now but now I just feel embarrassed for crying on Chris’ shoulder. “I’m sorry.” I say lightly but it’s obvious that even over the music Chris hears me.

“Don’t be sorry, that guy was an asshole. You’re just doing what you need to. I get it. I knew you wouldn’t cheat on Devin. You two seem like a good couple. Honestly though I knew you were going to kiss someone other than Devin tonight, well I almost wish it had been me instead.” He tells me making my head whip to his and stare open mouthed in disbelief. He chuckles again just like he did earlier in class. “Hey, don’t get mad at me for that. I’m just joking, mostly. You really are pretty hot though.” He tells me and the words burst from my lips.

“Wait, you’re not… You’re gay?” I ask him not sure what is going on at all here tonight. He laughs that chuckle again before answering me.

“I’m bi.” He says with a smile and I just roll my eyes, go figure. For the rest of the night I sit at the bar with Chris and before I know it a frat boy is at my side telling me that we’re leaving. I tell Chris goodbye and stumble out of the club not feeling so good about accepting that third drink from the bartender. The Gamma boy leads me and about half of the pledges into a large van. We all sit in the van glad not to be blindfolded this time around. Then I see Dustin there in the driver’s seat and it seems like he’s here to ruin it for us.

“Well boys, don’t congratulate yourselves too soon. Some of you have failed this first test. The others of you are here because you came close. Those few that have not been talked to yet consider it a warning. Those of you that have been talked to, know that you’re one step farther from joining this fraternity. Don’t disappoint again, there aren’t many strikes to waste. He tells us and I feel like falling down through a spiral. How could I have messed the test up? I don’t understand. We all ride back in a state of disappointment; the car is dead quiet all the way back.

We arrive back at the house at the same time as the other van and it seems they must have passed the task easily because in them shows all the happiness we lack. That is until I catch a look at Devin. His eyes won’t meet mine and it looks as if he’s sad. I don’t get it, he acts like it’s my fault with the way he won’t meet my eyes. I rush up to him trying to get his attention but he shoves me away. “Not now James.” He tells me and I don’t know if I should push it or just let it go. Some how it seems like it’s my fault, he seems almost mad at me.

“Devin, you need to talk to me. What did I do?” I ask him even as my hand grabs his wrist pulling him away from the crowd of boys making their way into the house. He looks right at then and I see the anger in his eyes. He actually glares right at and I feel myself shrinking away.

“What did you do? James really? I know that you kissed him.” Devin tells me and I sigh now getting why he’s mad.

“Devin I didn’t kiss him, he kissed me and I pulled away. I hit him for kissing me Devin. I’m serious, if you don’t believe me ask Chris.” I tell him honestly, hoping that he will take my word on it despite the fact that I know he’s angry. Devin doesn’t answer me though; he just turns around shaking his head as he makes his way into the Gamma house as well. My eyes drop to the ground and I start to realize why I must have come close to failing the event. The date wasn’t the even the test; the test was for us to get a date and convince them not to do anything with us. By John kissing me I came close to failing. I feel even worse now, how was I supposed to stop him from kissing me? Any one watching could have seen that I wasn’t doing it on purpose.

I end up just walking in the house anyway. I feel like none of this is my fault but at the same time I understand how Devin could be upset. When I get in the room with the rest of the pledges I see that Devin has moved away from me in the clutter of boys and it just hurts even more to notice that. I feel miserable as I lie down where my own blankets still remain and go to sleep. I hope that Devin will talk to me in the morning.

When I wake up in the morning it’s still too early for the alarm clock to have gone off waking us up. I look around the room. Devin still sleeps across the room from me but at least he is curled up with any of the other boys in the room. I start to wonder if we are really having our first fight. I couldn’t stand the thought of having to break up with Devin, especially over something as dumb as this. I get up and get dressed before the rest of the boys do, so I don’t have to undress in front of them. Today I wear the longer of the clothes, I cover my body; I don’t want to see all of my flesh hanging out. Then I just sit down on my blankets watching and waiting for the rest of the boys to wake up.

When the alarm goes off they all get up slowly. My eyes watch Devin as he gets up, it’s a thing so common to watch that I didn’t even realize until now how much I would miss seeing Devin getting up in the morning. I mean it’s not even about watching him dress or anything. I just love watching him, the flow of his body as he stretches out right when he wakes up.

Devin’s eyes catch mine and for a second I feel good watching him smile at me. Then he seems to remember last night and he stops smiling. His face just goes blank as he strips off his nightclothes to put his pledge clothes on. I sigh again knowing this is getting me nowhere. So I just get up and walk right out of the fraternity house. With my bag on my back I don’t plan on coming back until my classes are over. I don’t even bother to eat breakfast at Gamma Alpha Psi, instead I head out for the cafeteria. When I get there I just order some sort of egg sandwich for breakfast not really feeling that hungry.

I wait to sit down until my food comes then I just grab it up and head to an empty table. I eat the food slowly despite the fact that I barely have any food in front of me to eat. Still somehow before I even finish eating I see another person sitting down across from me. I look up only to see myself staring at Chris. “Oh it’s only you.” I say feeling disappointed at thinking that it might have been Devin.

“Well nice to see you again too.” He tells me sarcastically. “What’s wrong with you?”

“Devin’s mad at me. He seems to think I kissed that guy on purpose and he won’t even listen to me. Could you talk to him in your class please?” I ask Chris knowing that I must look as miserable as I feel. He just nods to me though not seeming to mind. Still Chris stays with me as I eat my breakfast and we both just keep quiet. When I finish he gets up with me.

“I’ll walk with you to class okay. And don’t worry about Devin, I’ll talk to him, you two have lunch together today, he should be fine by then okay.” He tells me and I’m glad to be making friends with someone like Chris who I can count on. I nod smiling again at the thought of having Devin back to normal. I can’t stop myself from hugging Chris when we get to my classroom.

“Thank you.” I tell him honestly and he just smiles at me.

“I’ll see you later.” He says and with that he walks away to his own class with Devin.
I spend most of my time in class worrying. I think about Devin talking to Chris and him still not caring. I’ve never felt like this before, I’ve never had to wonder how it would be without Devin because that was never even an option. Now I don’t know I guess I’m in shock, I mean I thought Devin would always let me give my side of the matter, but he didn’t even let me try to explain. He just threw my words back at me. I know I’m not really learning that much in my first few classes today, as I’m too busy thinking about Devin and our relationship.

By the time that I should be going to meet Devin for lunch I feel nervous. I actually think I might even feel more nervous than when I came out, and I puked before that. Oh god I shouldn’t have though about that, I think I feel my stomach getting dizzy now. I walk slowly to cafeteria still dreading this meeting with Devin and now wishing that my stomach would stop doing somersaults.

I look around for Devin once I get to cafeteria. My eyes catch his, as he stands propped up against a wall by the cashier. I walk over to him waiting for his eyes to swing my way so he notices me. I almost get over to where he stands before his eyes see me. “Devin?” I ask softly making sure he’s actually looking at me.

“Hey James.” He tells me his voice actually managing to sound softer than mine. Before I can ask him what the problem is though he smothers me with a hug pulling me right into his body. “I’m sorry. I should have listened to you.” He tells me and I believe he actually means it. I hug him back pulling him in close to me and not wanting to let go. Then his lips kiss mine and I kiss him back eagerly, glad to replace the feel of John’s lips with Devin’s. “Forgive me?” He asks me lightly as he pulls away from the kiss.

“Of course.” I tell him, honestly not forgiving him wasn’t even an option. “Did you order already?” I ask him referring to where the cashier is behind the counter. He shakes his head at me.

“I was waiting for you.” He tells me and that makes me grin again. I pull away from his body to take his hand again and led him to the cash register. I elbow him slightly to get him to make his order first. He orders a hamburger with cheese and bacon. After a quick look over of the menu myself I order a burrito that has been deep-fried. Devin smiles at me but rolls his eyes at my choice making me laugh slightly. As we wait for our orders to be ready Devin holds me to him with his arms warped around my waist to hold my back against his chest. We even still hold hands while we walk to a table to eat our lunch.

“How was class?” I ask him as we sit down across from each other regardless of having to break our hold to do so. He grins at me lightly before he answers the question.

“Good, I’ve partnered up with Chris for most of the exercises and we got to do some routine check up things time around like changing oil.” He tells me and I know he’s breaking it down into simpler words so I understand him. I nod all the same glad to see Devin seems to be becoming a good friend with Chris as well.

Over lunch we seem to go back to normal and I find myself relaxing around Devin again now that he isn’t glaring at me when I look over at him. When we finish eating and stand up from the booth Devin pulls me into another hug. “Why are you wearing these clothes?” He asks me referring to the long sleeved shirt and full-length pants. I shrug lightly not really wanting to tell Devin how I felt this morning. All the same he seems to understand. “Don’t hide from me.” He tells me lightly as he whispers the words in my making shivers go down my neck to my spine.

Then he pulls away from me taking only my hand to lead me out of the cafeteria. “What was that all about?” I ask him referring to how he pulled away from me. A slight smile comes over his face and I can tell he’s embarrassed slightly.

“Sorry, I just didn’t want to start something when I felt you shiver like that.” He tells me and I get what he means as I really wish we could actually do something as well. Devin walks me to my next class and I smile at him wanting to kiss him again when we get there but I hold myself back instead. We hug briefly and then he heads off to his own class. When I turn around I see Chris standing in the doorway with a smile on his face.

“So it looks like you two made up.” He tells me and I grin at him.

“Yup looks so.” I answer back with a smile on my face while I walk in to get a seat in the class.

---

Alright another chapter down and I'm proud to say I'm not actually ahead of my word count. Woot! I may post again tomorrow because I have chapters 7 and 8 done as well. I'm going to try to finish this during the coming weekend so we'll see how I do. On the my reviews.

kylee: I wouldn't put down the idea of them being forced to sexual acts just yet. All the frat boys said is they aren't allowed to cum pretty much. Devin is really smarter than it seems he's just feeling the first touches of jealousy and that is a dangerous thing. Both of the boys will learn all about jealousy before this tale is over. Thanks for the praise, I do try to make this more original than the typical frat story.

Lisa: Well as you can see now you were right about the coercing with kiss. James wouldn't have kissed him of his own free will. As you can see Devin can listen when he is allowed to think about it first. Hope you enjoyed the chapter.