In the End

Chapter Seven - Joker

[October 7th; 7:39PM]

He said nothing to anyone.

And in the early evening, when all was quiet in the head quarter, Kirin sat behind his desk and starred at the bullet casing mutely. He had not showed any difference of character to his clan, but even he knew that it was an inside job. Someone in Hirokin-kai wanted him dead. These men were hand picked by his father and then him. Kirin did not want to think ill of anyone; especially when they have all followed so dutifully. Trust was one of the most important virtues in a yakuza clan and he did not want to start the ugly cycle of distrusting one of his own.

But when the evidence was in front of him, how could he continue to fool himself?

Kirin shut the drawer, which was now the resting place of that bullet, harshly with a heavy sigh and leaned back against the back of his chair. There were too many things he needed to consider when it came to finding a possible traitor within the group, so he dared not to move rashly.

In the silence, he heard the overwhelmingly loud ticks of the clock. Kirin glanced over to note the time and rose from his chair. The week had been loomed over with a pile of grey clouds that never once dissipated; he hoped the prospect of being able to share a warm bed with another warm body would alleviate some of this bad luck. So even though it was absurdly early to be visiting a host club, Kirin still grabbed his jacket and went to close a certain deal.

[October 7th; 7:12PM]

Shuusei dusted off his hands and took a couple of steps back from the fire that he had created. There was no wood needed, the foundation of this fire consisted of his belongings. It ranged from jewellery to clothes and other miscellaneous items. Shuusei watched them burn and melt and turn into ash without a change of expression. Even though he was told that he could possibly last another year, Shuusei disliked the waiting game. So instead of not knowing, he had settled on a date when he could end everything himself. He had thought of many routes in these last ten days. A gun? Way too messy. A knife? Equally as messy and it would take too long as well. Pills? There was too great of a chance that someone might find him and send him to the nearest hospital to be rescued. Therefore, he had concluded that disappearing to die in the middle of no where would be the best option.

And, in his opinion, it would be the most fitting conclusion as well.

For someone like him, who did not even know his parents, he might as well have come into this world from nothing.

For nearly fifty minutes, he watched the fire dance, falter, and finally disappear into nothingness. See, everything eventually was reduced nothing after all! Right now, other than his bank card, ID, and the clothes that he was currently wearing, Shuusei owned nothing. Literally. The bank card and ID would be kept with him ‘till he was out in the wilderness and then discarded.

Everything had been thought of meticulously.

The one wild card in his deck that was not accounted for came to Shuusei’s attention when he opened the door to his room. Kirin heard the door open and turned to look at him; both wore an expression that resembled surprise.

“… what are you doing here so early?”

“What do you think?”

Shuusei offered Kirin a strange look before he walked around the room and into the attached bathroom to make sure that he had not missed anything. “I wouldn’t have asked if I knew.”

This time, it was bewilderment rather than surprise that showed on Kirin’s face. “I’m obviously here to collect what is mine.”

You didn’t forget anything here. Shuusei wanted to tell him, but suddenly, he realized what the kumicho was referring to. The laughter that bubbled out of his lips spoke of disbelief. “You actually took me seriously?” Oh my, this one was more naïve than he ever imagined. “What part of me looks like I want to go back with you?” That was a rhetorical question, don’t bother answering. After he was satisfied with the empty room, the host… ah, it would be ex-host in this case now, moved towards the door easily. “Make sure to close the door behind you.”

The entire scene was incomprehensible to Kirin, but there was one thing he understood: something wasn’t right here. Something wasn’t right about this room, this person, and this situation. So his body reacted faster than his mind; at the door, his hand closed around one of Shuusei’s arms and pulled the host to a stop completely. The fleeting thought why is his arm so thin ran through his mind and then disappeared. “You said you would come back with me.” Kirin started, almost through greeted teeth. He hated being lied to. “So I don’t care which part of you wants or doesn’t want to, you are coming with me.” The kumicho thought about letting go, but knew better. “I can most certainly drag you out of here kicking and screaming if you prefer it that way.”

Shuusei threw him an impatient look before pulling the younger’s hand off his arm.

“Okay, so that’s a yes.”

With one large stride forward, Kirin’s arm hooked around the host’s thin waist and hoisted him up easily. Again, has this host always been this thin?

If anything, the host certainly played the part well. As soon as Shuusei’s feet left the ground, he had already began kicking his legs and struggling in the other’s hold. However, the upside down position quickly reminded him of why he wanted to leave in the first place. Black spots danced in front of his eyes and Kirin’s shoulder against his diaphragm successfully aided his already ailed circulatory system. “Let me down!”

“This is faster.”

“Let me down, I won’t run.”

Even through half blacked vision, Shuusei could still recognize the interior design of the club easily. If he must have a struggle with this kumicho, then he would rather do it somewhere else. Right now, they were quick in approaching the lobby; and the Hell Butterfly did not wish to let other hosts and guests witness himself like this.

Kirin evidently hesitated but slowly lowered the host back onto his feet. As soon as the host was able, he has shoved the yakuza away and turned to walk down the stairs. “My car is out at the front.” Kirin called after Shuusei with the remaining bits of patience in his system. This day had started horridly, and was getting no better than he imagined. Of course, he should have been prepared to see the host’s departing back view completely passing his car. A whistle of a sigh passed his lips and his pace picked up to catch Shuusei’s arm again. “Ooops, you missed the car there.” This was the fourth time that he’s met the host, and already he was lowering himself to accommodate the older even when he didn’t feel it.

The entire clan would be surprised; but Kirin was the most shocked.

“Look,” the host whirled around with a determined expression and shook off Kirin’s hand “I’m sorry I lied, but you were stupid to have believed a host’s words in the first place! So why don’t you just get your naïve little ass back into the club and find someone else to fuck for the night?”

Because he’s never purposely restrained himself before, Kirin figured this must be what it meant to have the last straw plucked.

“I don’t want anyone else! Why do you think I bother with your bitchy attitude half of the time?” Kirin was angry at Shuusei for lying; angry at himself for having believed in that lie; and angry at the words that were just spoken. It was as if someone had robbed him and exposed his secret without his permission.

Of course, the receiving end was just as surprised, if not more. Shuusei’s head was already swarming, his limbs weak; when he attempted to take a step forward as a heated retort, his fingers closed around the front of Kirin’s jacket, but his eyes saw nothing. To himself, it was like slipping into dream land, but to Kirin, it was a body sliding and falling against him.

“Oi, you…”

So he stood in front of Red Velvet with an unconscious host in his arms. Completely at a loss.

In his dreams, Shuusei was never sure of the direction. He would run left, then turn back, and run right, and turn back. In his dreams, he would always be young and helpless. In his dreams… at least the darkness provided some sort of a protection. He felt his body shaking lightly before he opened his eyes. With one crack, he was able to deduce that he was now in a car. His body that was leaning against the door felt heavy and it was as if no cell mass wanted to listen to his command. His breathing that was slow and shallow told him that he had survived yet again. Out of reflex, Shuusei reached for the door handle and found it immovable under his fingers.

“Funny how child lock works, mmm?” Besides him, Kirin spoke quietly with a small smile on his lips. “I knew you’d try that.”

“Stop the car, or I will break the window.”

“I don’t think you are in any position to be threatening anyone.” Shuusei made no reply and Kirin snuck a glance at the older. He looked frail and small leaning against the door like that; and his blonde hair fell perfectly around his face to prevent a sight of expressions. “I’m going to give you a choice here, so listen carefully. You can come back with me and live at the head quarter. Or you can stay in my apartment in the city. Or” he paused and weighed his words before starting again “I have a place in the mountains that you can use.” He swallowed a thick lump in his throat and glanced at Shuusei quickly. The place in the mountains was his hide out that not even the rest of the clan knew about.

Unknown to Kirin, Shuusei was more aware of these subtleties than the kumicho could imagine. The host’s eyes watched the buildings that moved them by, listening, but not really listening at the same time. “Why are you so intent on keeping me? Shall I apologize to you profusely about how I lied? I still maintain that you are an idiot to have believed a host in the first place.” Shuusei answered Kirin’s questions indirectly, almost like he didn’t answer at all. Finally, with a huff, the older pushed away from the door and sat up straight. “I can recommend you other hosts in the club who can easily keep up with your words like I do.”

In other words, why the obsession?

“I don’t doubt you can.” Kirin offered him what looked like a helpless grin. “However, is there something wrong with wanting to keep you over all other hosts?” The younger glanced over quickly, his embarrassment hastening in the form of warming cheeks. Thankful; he was to the dark night. “When I’m with you… I feel as if I am capable of being nice after all. And I enjoy our time together.”

“You only want me.” Shuusei quoted Kirin from when they were just out of the club. “I make you feel nice. You enjoy our time together.” The host chuckled weakly with a shake of his head. “What’s next? Are you going to tell me that you are in love with me?”

Those words were enough to sink the car into a long period of silence. Both parties considered their positions, one thoroughly and one not so carefully.

“I don’t know.” Finally, Kirin spoke at length; and Shuusei could not help but glance over with surprise. The host was surprised that Kirin was so serious when he answered, and was even more surprised that Kirin even bothered to think about such a trivial question so seriously. All of a sudden, Shuusei felt that Kirin was too dangerous to get involved with. “If wanting to keep you to myself and spending as much time as I possibly with you count as love… then I guess… yeah, I do.”

Dangerous.
It was dangerous how this child could take this so seriously.
So much so that Shuusei didn’t even know how or what he should respond with.

The wise thing would be to get out of the car right now and never see Kirin again. “I dislike having to share a living area with others, and I dislike excessive noise.” Yet when the host spoke again, it was almost cryptic but truthful. For he was vindictive; he was angry that the kumicho had dragged him out of his comfort zone.

I shall repay you by decomposing in your hide out, how would you like that?

And besides, Shuusei told himself, there was no way he could ever be serious with someone like Kirin.

“I knew you’d like the mountains!”

Extremely easy to satisfy, Shuusei noted, was also another trait that Kirin possessed. The more time he spent with the younger, the more convoluted reality seemed. Kirin denounced every trait of what a kumicho was supposed to be like. He wouldn’t survive long, Shuusei decided, if he continued to live like this.

The road that circled the mountain was steep and dark, street lamps were scarce and flickering with life, struggling to stay alive. There was no car in front of them and no car that followed; it was like they were not moving at all. Slowly, Shuusei felt strength slipping back into his limbs thanks to the heat that was turned up in the car. Although it was only early October, it was starting to get chilly.

“Here we are!”

Even if Kirin did not announce their arrival with flourish, Shuusei could not possibly miss the gigantic hide out in front of him. From his vantage point, the mansion seemed to go on forever. His fingers unbuckled himself slowly, but Kirin was obviously working at a pace faster than he and had already pulled the passenger door open.

“Shall I carry you inside, princess?”

“Go die.”

If Kirin had asked thirty minutes ago, Shuusei might have been forced to agree. However, now that he was mobile and capable again, there was no way the host would allow such a degrading gesture. So he shoved the door open a bit wider, hitting Kirin’s torso in the process without much care and stepped out. All the while, ignoring the other’s whining and pouting.

This wasn’t the most impressive hide out that he’s seen, but it certainly was amongst the top few.

“I haven’t had the time to do anything with it ever since I got it.” Kirin explained as he opened the door to an empty interior. Immediately, Shuusei saw the grand staircase that led upstairs – there were three floors in total, not counting the basement- and another staircase at the back that spiralled up and down. “It has all the necessities to keep one alive, but…” He trailed off and offered a sheepish grin. “... it’s nothing glamorous.”

Shuusei knew many who would beg to differ.

“Come, I’ll show you the master bedroom.”

Kirin’s hand touched his hand, and it was thrown off the next second. Shuusei walked in front of Kirin, talked over him, and made sure to do everything opposite to how Kirin wished; all he ever got were pouts, mumblings and whining. While the house was adjusting to Shuusei walking around, Shuusei was adjusting to the kumicho. He wanted to know what made the younger tick, as a person, and most importantly, as a kumicho.

“We’ll go shopping for furniture together sometime. There are many rooms we need to decorate and fill in.” The master bedroom consisted of a walk in closet, a king sized bed, an attached bathroom, a full length mirror, a fire place, a window seat and a balcony. Shuusei had the passing idea that he could live out his entire life in this room. “But… I have to say up front that I won’t be able to come often, just once a week, probably.”

“There is no need; you don’t need to come at all.” The words were automatic and he glanced back at the younger. Kirin had sounded truly apologetic; an emotion that Shuusei could not understand. What was there to apologize about? It wasn’t necessary nor was it needed.

Kirin was sure that his face was caught in a contorted grimace at the host’s emotionless reply. “Sheesh, thank you, I love you too.” It was muttered with one hundred percent sarcasm as he followed the host out to the balcony. Even he had to look around the room to reinstate himself with this house. It was purchased because he liked the design and the space it provided. And, as his father liked to say, every kumicho needed one last haven to run to when the world was falling apart. Therefore, theoretically speaking, he shouldn’t even have mentioned to another living organism about the existence of this place; yet now, a former host was standing out on the balcony, seemingly immobile.

He stood at the doorway leading out onto the balcony and looked at Shuusei’s back. If he didn’t know any better, he would have eagerly aged the host to his teens from the back view alone. However, at the same time, there was something dignified about it, as if he was of royalty.

“I’m going to take a shower.”

Shuusei barely nodded when he heard Kirin’s announcement and heard him withdraw into the room. The eternal faces of the mountains surrounding this house offered solitude and a perfect arena for reflections as well. Every move that Kirin made was foreign to him; the younger male defied everything he knew about a kumicho and Shuusei’s brain was working over time trying to compute these newly obtained information.

After a moment, Shuusei stirred to return inside as well. There was only one conclusion that he was able to draw. Inside, Kirin had lit the fireplace and Shuusei made his way to the bed. His shirt was disposed of first, lost somewhere on the floor. Then his pants, then his socks, and he lifted a corner of the duvet to slide underneath.

If there was no material gain from this situation, then it was obvious to Shuusei that Kirin was looking for the pleasures that only physical contact could bring.

So he kept his back to the bathroom door and waited.

The door opened, the other side of the bed dipped and Shuusei slowly opened his eyes. An arm, still moist, slid around his shoulders and a body shifted closer. He smelt the shampoo and the body wash, but felt nothing else. Kirin’s arm stayed in its position ‘till he was sure the kumicho had fallen asleep.

How strange.

Shuusei could not help but note.

How strange this person was.

To be continued...