Coming Home

I laid down with him in bed and he wrapped his arms around me. I was starting to doubt if I could definitely leave him. It was only a few minutes till he was deep asleep; I flipped over and studied his face. Running my fingers over every curve and dimple that he had, trying to memorize them. After I knew he would not wake, I untangled his arms from my body and started to pack. I looked one last time at him before I shut the door to leave. I knew he would be worried so I left a note explaining everything on the table next to the bed. All in all, taking off took about two hours so I only had about a three hour head start.

I went to the bus station and choose the area I would like to see the most, which happened to be upstate New York, which wasn’t all that far. Living in a small town in lower PA was not very exciting. I waited for the bus to arrive in the terminal when my cell phone went off. I knew he had woken up and was looking for me. An attendant came over to tell me that our bus was delayed about 4 hours due to an accident on the interstate. Sean continued to call my phone and after every voicemail I would listen and cry silently to his desperate voice for me to return. As soon as the bus arrived I hopped on and watched out the window as the others climbed aboard. I seen Sean in the crowd and as he looked at me the bus started to pull away. At that moment I sent him a text saying I love you and shut my phone off. His face was in utter shock and turmoil and I hoped that it would not haunt my dreams. It was a six hour bus ride and I was prepared with a book and my sweatshirt (to sleep) but I could do nothing but stare out the window. Thinking of the face that Sean was wearing when we pulled out of the bus station. I was scared he would do something rash, that he would not understand why I had to leave him. It was important to me that he was able to continue his dreams and go on to play college football without being held back by his little sister. No matter the relationship we had behind closed doors. As we pulled into the first stop and I felt my stomach drop there were cops everywhere. One boarded the bus and looked around, he spotted me and beckoned me to get off the bus. I shook my head and he made his way back to me and asked me to get off the bus but again I shook my head.

“I’m sorry I will not, I have not done anything wrong.” I said staring into his eyes not blinking or looking away.

“I’m sorry miss but your brother said you are under his ward of care and if need be to arrest you as a runaway. So either you walk off willingly or I put you under arrest.” he said smugly.

“Then arrest me.” I said allowing him access to my wrists. He did just that and I told him which bag was mine and he escorted me off the bus. The eyes of every passenger where on me wondering why I was being arrested and escorted off. Most would think that I was a runaway or a delinquent, seeing that I did look young. Maybe though to others I was a hardened criminal trying to evade the police by crossing state lines. The police officer walked me to the car and carefully helped me in. The ride to the county line was short and then they transferred me to the state cops who took me from there to my town police station. When we arrived I seen my brothers car in the parking lot; my stomach dropped at how concerned and angry he would be at me. They still had the handcuffs on me when I walked in to the police station. When my brother noticed my entrance he immediately wrapped me in his arms, I could not hug him back though and honestly did not want to. I was angry at him for not being able to understand why I had left, for not understanding the note I had left detailing why he should let me go. I heard him demand that they uncuff me, but his demands fell on deaf ears. I was placed in a room away from my brother. They talked to my brother and then shortly later I was released into his custody, but not after a long hard talk from our case worker. ‘how I needed to stay and behave nicely for my brother or they would rip me away and place me in foster home.’ I, as much as I did not want to stop my brother’s life, did not want anything to do with foster care. I nodded my head and gave a promise to behave like a good little girl. I had no intentions of sticking around for very long.

The ride home was long, neither of us spook. He drove glaring at whomever was in the car in front of us, and I watched the scenery pass by. As soon as we pulled into the drive, I was out of the car and in my room. Sean was my brother, my lover, and my one and only; in return I was ending his career. Sean only left me alone in my room for a whole five seconds.

“Please give me a better excuse as to why I just went threw hell.” he said standing at my door.

“Sean, please don’t start.” I said laying down in my bed, I turned away from him to hide the tears in my eyes. It took only a few seconds to blink them away.

“Oh hell no Chey, I want a damn answer. You scared the shit out of me and now you want me to act like nothing happened. I will not leave this room until you tell me why you tried to leave me.” I gave him the best glare I could.

“Then I guess you had better get comfy because that’s the reason I left you. I left you cause I don’t want to stop you from your life. It’s the most unselfish thing I could do, besides it’s not like we will ever last you will grow up, leave me, and get married. Now if I can let that happen with football and your friends I will. I’m gone, I guess that’s something your just going to have to get used to. You and I for the sake of your career and life are over. Now get the HELL OUT!” by the end of my little rant I was in tears. Sean stood there dumb struck, I could not tell the emotions going through him right now. The emotions were passing though his eyes a little too fast, so when they ended on anger I was too slow to think about what would happen next. Sean was next to my bed in seconds, flipping me over and pinning me to the bed.

“Take it back, TAKE IT THE FUCK BACK. I’m not your fucking play thing Chey, I’m a damn person. What I go thru thick and thin to be with you at all costs and now your just going to leave me. You think your doing me a favor well your not, you only going to kill me from the inside out. It’s not fair you pushed and pushed for this relationship and now your going to end it like it never meant a damn thing to you. It’s not right so just take it back.” he stopped restraining me to wipe his eyes. I hated myself for causing him so much pain but I had to stay strong.

“I’m sorry I was mistaken, Sean. Look yes at the time I wanted you more than anything, and to tell you the truth still do. But, I’m sorry I can’t do this anymore. I’m ruining your life.” I removed myself from underneath him, grabbed my bags and turned to him, “please don’t stop me this time. I love you but I can’t be here and not ruin your life. I love you more than I ever should, but your happiness means too much to me.” I made for the door but didn’t make it far before I was shoved against the wall. His lips covered mine before I could say a word. I responded for a second, before trying to push him away again. It didn’t work, he was too strong. My back pressed even harder into the wall as I slipped away; slipped into the world that I really never wanted to leave. I pulled him closer before I felt him pick me up and carry me back to the bed.

“You have to promise me never to leave me. I couldn’t handle that. You say you want to make me happy but your causing me so much pain. I would never be happy without you.” he whispered into my ear before kissing down my neck. He lifted up looking me right in the eyes “Promise me!”

“Okay I promise. I’m so sorry.” I said finally releasing the tears that had been threatening to leave my eyes thru this whole fight. He wiped my tears away and kissed my cheek. I pulled him close to me, linking our lips once again. His passion was shown in his eyes among the other feelings, he was so easy to read but the new intensity was amazing. There was so much emotion and I retuned it ten fold, we no longer had to say I love you it was said in our kisses. He carefully undressed me along with shedding his own. That night I learned the difference between sex and making love, in fact I learned it several times.

Sean held me tightly all night, sleeping so light that when I woke the next morning and tried to detangle myself he jumped up. I realized then what I had down to him, I had to fix this. He was so paranoid that I was going to leave in the middle of the night.

“Sean, it’s okay get some more sleep I’m just going to go make some breakfast.” I smiled trying my hardest to relieve him of some of his anxieties. He nodded and pulled me back down kissing my lips and murmured “ you promised”. Just like that he was back out.

“yes yes Sean I remember.” I said kissing his temple. I made my way down stairs to the kitchen to make breakfast. Just as I finished my bowl of cereal I heard a knock on the door. I padded my way down the hall to the door, opening it to see none other than Randy.

“What do you want?” I said leaving the door wide open and heading back into the kitchen. I picked up my bowl and rinsed it out leaving it in the sink for later.

“Where’s your bro?” he asked looking me up and down. I only had a pair of pj bottoms and a tight t-shirt on.

“Sleeping and please keep your eyes on my face.” I said nonchalantly.

“Okay I’ll go get him, need to talk to him.” I stepped in front of the staircase.

“No you won’t.” I crossed my arms in front of my body. He eyed me up.

“Why the hell not?” I laughed

“Because I said so, besides after yesterday I think you’re the last person he wants to see.” I said moving side to side continuing to block him.

“What the hell happened yesterday?” he stopped to look at me.

“ I took off and tried to go to New York.” I said blocking him again. He stopped and looked at me.

“You ungrateful bitch, he gives up football and you try to run away that’s fucked up.” he said trying to push me out of the way.

“This ungrateful bitch was trying to give him back to you asshole. I left so that he could move on and play football again. So next time watch your damn mouth.” I said pushing him off me.

“Move I want to talk to him.” I huffed but didn’t move.

“Fine I’ll go wake him up, but you stay the hell down here.” I said moving to go up the stairs.

“Why can’t I go up?” he asked his eyebrow raising.

“Because Sean would not leave my side last night and ended up falling asleep in my room, and I don’t want your nasty ass in my room. God knows I would loose some of my cloths.” I said walking the rest of the way upstairs and out of his sight. When I entered the bedroom Sean was already getting up.

“Jackass is downstairs, says it’s important.” I stated moving to grab a sweatshirt out of my drawer. He nodded, gave me a chaste kiss and headed down the steps, I left right after him.

“What the hell do you want this early in the morning?” Sean asked as he passed him, heading for the kitchen. He grabbed a bowl and the cereal pouring it then sitting down to eat.

“Dude you do realize it’s like one o’clock right?” Sean lifted his eyes to look at Randy and shrugged.

“Long day yesterday.” was all Sean replied.

“So I heard. I didn’t come here to talk about that. Umm, you remember several months ago when you told me, rather threatened me to stay away from Kim?” Sean nodded waiting for him to continue “Well I kind of got really drunk last night and we fucked. I wanted to tell you before any of the guys did. This way you at least heard it from me.” Sean stopped eating, looking straight at Randy. Kim was that certain girlfriend that told me all the dirt on my brother, in fact that was his only ex. They were together for a few years and only broke up because of her lack of self control with alcohol. She was turning into an alcoholic sleeping with several other guys along with other girls. Sean found out about the parties and soon after the other people, needless to say it didn’t end well. Everyone knew to stay away from her, just to avoid the wrath of Sean. He didn’t want any of his buddies shacking up with his ex, well guess who is the idiot to actually go against him.


*** Okay guys this is a really long time coming. Still love Randy for the bad guy (Some things never change). Sorry about the wait but my computer sucks, school sucks, and life pretty much sucks so I’ve had a tough time updating. I’m hoping and praying for some feed back….feel free to dabble in some ideas, cause to tell you the truth I’m running out, or I’m just to tired to care at the moment. Well all I can say is PLEASE READ AND REVIEW****