Alarm

Disclaimer: All characters are mine

Summary: Hal Carson, a jaded Detective, lost his partner, Jim Walker, in a warehouse shooting. He has a tumultuous relationship with his ex, Leah Laverne, but they draw close through Hal’s emotional crisis. Can he work a case that involves her?


Warnings: m/f, angst, lemon

** Asterisks indicate thoughts

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Chapter Seven



Opening up herself to him was the hardest part. Then had been far away from one another for what felt like forever, and Leah wasn’t entirely comfortable with spilling her thoughts to him anymore. She knew what she was upset about – unresolved hurt from their baby, Hal closing himself off to her after his father’s death, the fighting and anger between them, and her still strong feelings for the blonde man. Leah wasn’t sure how to even go about telling him what was on her mind. It wasn’t like they were still lovers, or even close anymore.

Hal was patient though, his blue eyes betraying no anger, no frustration. There was an inner calm in those depths, something she hadn’t witnessed for a long time. It seemed like since Frank died Hal was spinning deeper and deeper into depression, but strangely enough, looking at him seated next to her, he seemed more at peace than he had in a long time.

After a long pause of silence, Leah found herself opening up reluctantly. She didn’t dare tell him how she still felt for in – just incase his feelings had changed, but she did speak on his father, their child, and the tension between them. Hal didn’t interrupt once, even though sometimes she wished he would say something. She was never the talky-type. Hal usually carried the conversations.

“I don’t even know where we went wrong.” Leah finally admitted. It had been on her mind for a long time. Things had been beautiful up until Hal’s father had been murdered. Still, Hal didn’t move, he didn’t speak. Leah took a deep breath, hating herself for speaking so much. It wasn’t her forte.

“Suddenly everything turned around on us. It was perfect one minute, and a living hell the next. We hated each other, we were at each other’s throats when we should have supported one another and made our way through it.

“I know it’s different now. God knows we should have had this conversation ages ago. I’m sorry I even brought it
up. But seeing you again…well, I can’t help but think about what we have been through already. Maybe it’s best if I go and you have someone else come to look after you. I know your mother hasn’t seen you for a long time.” Leah finally stopped, conscious of her rambling. Hal set his hand lightly on her knee, drawing Leah’s eyes up to his.

She recognized the heaviness in them immediately. This was not a conversation he wanted to have at all, but even then, he did not appear surprised in the least. It seemed like he knew it would eventually come, sooner or later.

“I talk to much.” Leah offered in a way of an apology. She tried to smile, but it didn’t want to come. Hal shook his head, and Leah could almost swear she saw a faint grin on his lips.

“That’s never been true. You hardly ever talk. I’m the loudmouth between us.” He paused, looking at his hand, then back up to her face. Her tears had stopped, but her eyes were still slightly red. She knew that she didn’t paint the most attractive picture, but he had seen everything, the good and the bad. This was not a new sight to him, which made her heart pang sadly.

“You’re right when you say we should have talked about this a long time ago.” Hal finally said, his voice low and quiet. It was a fact that they both knew and had never acted on, until now. Leah watched his features as he struggled for what to say. It wasn’t the easiest topic to discuss.

“I’m sure it’s pretty obvious when I say that it all started with my father. I know I should have talked to you about it. Believe me, I wanted to.”

“But?” Hal sighed. Closing Leah off had been one of his biggest regrets.

“I don’t even know why. There was a roadblock in my mind, and I couldn’t get past it. Maybe at some point I thought that you wouldn’t understand. I don’t know. It hurt so much, and I was on some stupid thought process thinking that if I admitted my pain, that I would be exposing some vital weakness in my character. I know that makes me stupid, I’m a complete ass. I wouldn’t be the first to say it.”

“Hal. I don’t think that.” He shrugged, clearly not impressed with himself. Leah could see that he was beating himself up over it. She finally realized how much he regretted not coming to her in his time of need, and that gave her a small glimmer of hope. For a long time she thought he didn’t know what he was doing when he was closing himself off, but having him admit that he tried was a step in the right direction.

“…and with the car accident. I’m sorry. You know I am. I never wanted it to happen.” His tone went from quiet to almost desperate. Leah stared at him, watching his eyes darken in near distress.

“What are you talking about?” Leah reached down and placed her hand on his. Hal turned his head away, breaking eye contact.

“I was driving that night. I lost control of the car. I sent the both of us to the hospital, and killed our baby.” He whispered, ashamed of himself. He knew what the weather reports had said that night, so he should have been watching out for black ice. Any other good driver would have, he convinced himself. If he had taken it more seriously, then maybe he could have prevented the entire situation.

Leah sat there, stunned. How could he possibly think that he was responsible for the accident? It could have happened to anyone. You can’t avoid black ice, since it looks exactly like the road. Understanding had finally dawned on her. Hal felt guilty for the entire mess, and that would have been the straw that broke the camel’s back, so to speak. He had been feeling dark since his father’s death, only to go and think that he sent the both of them to the hospital and killed their unborn child. No wonder he had closed himself off so tightly towards her.

“You’re a moron.” She finally said, without bitterness or anger. She gently squeezed his hand, but he did not turn to look at her. Scooting across the floor, she sat directly across from him. It was a tight fit, but at the moment, she couldn’t give a damn. He could have seen her out of the corner of his eye, but still he didn’t turn to look at her. With a barely audible sigh, she leaned forward, placing a hand on each of his knees, and forced his legs apart.

Before he could react, she slid between them, gently leaning herself against his chest. She did not want to aggravate any of his wounds, but she needed to be up close in order to get her point across. Running her fingers along his stubbled cheek, she turned his head to face her. He looked tormented, and it broke her heart.

*You’re so stupid* She thought, watching the emotions pass by his eyes. This close to him, she could feel his heart beating, and it took her breath away. This was the man she loved.

“You’re an absolute fool.” She started, cutting him off before he could interrupt. “Do you honestly believe that you caused an accident? Hal Carson, a God couldn’t have stopped the car from rolling off the road. It was going to happen. It was a bad storm. There was black ice. You didn’t know it was going to happen, I didn’t know.”

“The weather report said - ”

“The weather report. God Hal, if you think that by knowing what the weather was going to be like, that it would make you responsible for whatever happens on the road? If that was the case, then I would be just as much to blame. I knew what the weather was like, and I thought we’d be fine to go. Wouldn’t that make it my fault too?” Hal wisely kept quiet. He couldn’t argue with that.

Leah reached up, daring herself to run her fingers through his hair. They were this close, and she couldn’t resist temptation. He didn’t move an inch, so she let herself have her way. How could she ever have let him go? That was her mistake.

“It happened. That’s why it’s called an accident. We lost our child. We’re supposed to help each other through that, you know? It causes us equal pain. Did you not want to talk about it because you thought that it was your fault?”

He gave her a barely noticeable nod. With running her fingers softly through his hair, it had had its desired affect in relaxing him. She could feel his muscles begin to loosen around her. Good.

“Well you’re the silliest person I’ve ever known. You didn’t do anything wrong, Hal. I want you to know that.” He was so quiet, Leah wanted to yank his words out of him. She wanted him to know that he wasn’t responsible for anything that happened.

“It’s hard for me to believe that.” Hal said, his voice barely audible. Leah moved her hand down to trace the line of his jaw with her fingers. So what if she was being forward. Her feelings had never changed. They may have screamed at each other until their voices were harsh, but that time was over now. Leah hoped it was done, permanently.

“Well, believe it. Whatever I have to do to convince you, I will. I can’t have you thinking that when that’s not what happened.” Hal let her touch him, very aware at how close their bodies were. He wouldn’t ask her to stop either, not ever. Her touch was something that he missed greatly, and having her fingers softly stroke his face, ears, and hair had him tingling in a way that he hadn’t experienced for a long time.

She was so close to him, and so beautiful, Hal had to focus to keep breathing deeply. She had sparked an excitement in him that had been silent in him for so long. Even now, he was tempted to taste her lips and make love to her once more, but it was not the right time. Not only would his body be unable to perform, but they were just beginning to heal old wounds.

In one hour they had been able to start mending the years they had suffered. It would take awhile for him to believe that he wasn’t the cause of the accident, but having her tell him that he wasn’t already felt lighter on his heart. Maybe soon he would see how stupid he was for ever believing such a thing.

Leah stirred in his lap, reaching for the counter to help her stand. She offered a hand to him, and he gratefully accepted. Moving around with his injuries was proving to be quite a task. Suppressing a grimace, he stood.

“I was getting uncomfortable sitting on the tiles.” Leah said, almost sheepishly. He had to grin. She was cute, all the time, and it made his heart beat a little faster. He still loved her, and he had realized that early on. They wouldn’t make the same mistake twice.


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After the talk, they had resumed their daily activities, except with a renewed tenderness. Hal tried to help Leah prepare dinner, but she shooed him out of the kitchen and forced him to wait on the couch. Although he was brushing off the pain of his injuries, Leah didn’t want him to do anymore damage to himself. Until she saw him move around comfortably, without grimacing, he wasn’t allowed to partake in meal preparation or any chores. Usually when someone heard this, they would be overjoyed, but Hal was never the type to sit back and relax while he knew Leah was doing all of the work.

When she had finished preparing the stir-fry, she set out a generous plate for Hal. He always ate a much larger portion than her – being male, and on top of that, extremely physically active, he usually ate twice as much as she. Now it made her laugh, but when they first started dating, she would often panic over whether she had made enough, and if he was going to be satisfied.

Bringing dinner out to Hal, she offered him his plate. He took it, immediately digging in, casting aside manners. She tried not to roll her eyes as sauce fell into his lap, and he looked up sheepishly at her.

“You’re so gross.” She joked lightly, making Hal grin.

“You’re not so bad yourself.” Leave it to Hal to make absolutely no sense. She reclined in her chair, focusing on her meal. Perhaps this time, they really could work things out. They had been through so many wrongs in their relationship, it was about time they had a right.




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A/N: Sorry for the long wait in updates. More to come soon! Please review!

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