Even Angels Fall

“Hello?” Sarah was breathless as she answered the phone, having just been entering her apartment when she heard it ringing. She had struggled with the key and rushed into her home, sprinting across the room and answering on the fourth ring, just before the answering machine would pick up.

“Hey, Sare,” Eddie’s voice was friendly over the line. “You just getting in from work now? You sound like you’re out of breath.”

Glancing at her watch, Sarah realized that it was almost ten. “Yeah,” she lied, feeling a bit guilty as she sat on the couch. “My boss has a big proposal to make next week, so we ended up working late. And then I stopped to grab something to eat on the way home.” The truth was, Sarah had been at Zip’s all evening, watching television and eating takeout, like she had most nights for the past two weeks.

“It sounds like you’re really working hard,” the pride in Eddie’s voice just made the lump of guilt building in Sarah’s chest grow larger. “I mean, you must be. I haven’t seen you in weeks. But it’s great that you’re so dedicated.”

‘Kill me now,’ Sarah thought to herself with a frown. ‘I am a horrible human being.’

“Thanks,” Sarah said to Eddie instead. “It hasn’t all been work, though,” she insisted, not wanting too much praise from her brother when she was, in fact, lying to him. “I’ve also hung out with Ava a few times, and some other people… So, what’s up anyhow? Were you just calling to talk, or…?”

“Actually,” Eddie didn’t seem to pick up on any of the shame or nervousness in Sarah’s voice as he chuckled. “If you can believe it, I have missed hanging out with my sister. When you first moved to New York, I didn’t know how things would be between us us. But I barely see you anyway. I thought we might take advantage of living in the same city and do dinner on Saturday or something.”

“You don’t have plans with Sin?” Sarah asked, hating that deep down, she wanted to turn down her brother’s incredibly sweet offer. She and Zip had already made plans for Saturday night to hang out, because she had agreed to go to happy hour with Chris, Ava and a few other people on Friday night. If she went out with Eddie on Saturday, she wouldn’t see Zip for two days…

“Sin’s going to be working most of the weekend,” Eddie explained to Sarah. “Besides, she won’t mind. She understands that I want to spend some time with my little sis, now that you’re not so little anymore. God, you were fourteen the last time we lived in the same place. It’s weird, isn’t it?”

‘He is so nice, it’s killing me,’ Sarah thought of her brother. “It is weird,” she agreed with Eddie. “And dinner Saturday sounds like fun. And a little like a date, which is just creepy. But anyway, thanks for asking.”

“No problem,” Eddie replied. “And speaking of dating… Have you been able to squeeze in time for dating into your busy schedule since you got here? I know Sin mentioned that you had gone out with one of the guys from the office, but that she didn’t think anything came of it.”

Now, the conversation was REALLY making Sarah uncomfortable. “Chris. Yeah. He’s the only guy I’ve been on a date with.” That was true. “But the spark just wasn’t there. We still hang out, though. We had drinks last week, in fact. And now, I’m going to hang up, because talking to my brother about my non-existent love life after making a date with him for Saturday is truly beginning to creep me out.”

“You’re nuts,” Eddie laughed heartily. “But you’re family, so I’m stuck with you, I guess. So, I’ll call you Saturday afternoon to make plans to meet up, then?”

“That sounds good,” Sarah told Eddie. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Booger.”

Before Sarah could yell at Eddie to not call her by the nickname he had used on her when they were kids, he had hung up. Sighing, Sarah replaced the receiver and sat silently for a moment.

‘Eddie really is a good brother,’ Sarah thought sadly to herself. ‘Which is probably why I’ve been avoiding him for the past three weeks, since Zip and I started hanging out. I just feel so BAD lying to him. But I agree with Zip; I don’t think Eddie or Sin would be particularly happy about us spending time together. And just thinking about not hanging out with Zip anymore… I couldn’t do that. I just couldn’t.’

-----

“What did you order?” Sarah asked as she entered Zip’s condo the following evening. “It smells amazing.” Walking into the kitchen, she stopped and smiled. “You COOKED?” she asked, more than a little complimented that he had gone out of his way for her.

“I did,” Zip nodded, motioning towards the pans that were simmering on the stove. “I know that, after the mac and cheese fiasco – and no, I still can’t figure out how I managed to burn the macaroni – you probably didn’t believe me when I said I can cook a few dishes pretty good. Well, this is one of them. My father taught me how to make mansaf when I was younger. I also have hummus with flat bread and tabouleh. The food was really the only cultural thing my dad held onto after he left Jordan with my mom…”

Biting her lip, Sarah didn’t know what to say. Zip had told her, a few nights earlier, a little bit about his parents meeting when his father came over from Jordan for a semester in college, about their forbidden romance and elopement, and about his father’s family telling him he was no longer welcome home. It had been such a sad story, particularly when Zip explained that his parents were now divorced and his father was back in Jordan, trying to mend old ties while his mother had remarried and moved to Florida. She had been touched to have him share such intimate details of his life – and to be so honest about his feelings of hurt and resentment towards both of his parents – but now, to have him cooking this meal for her…

“Zip, I don’t know what to say.”

“Say you eat lamb,” Zip turned from Sarah to look back at the pans. In truth, though, he didn’t think he could look into those eyes, filled with gratitude and admiration, for another second without reaching for her. “I know you’re not a vegetarian – considering the COW I basically watched you eat the night we ordered burgers – but I know some people are put off by lamb.”

“I’m not,” Sarah couldn’t take her eyes off Zip as he checked the food on the stove. He always looked good to her, but right now, he looked about the best she had ever seen him. And it wasn’t the fact that his hair was styled – as it ALWAYS was – perfectly, or that his t-shirt showed off his tight physique and sexy tattoos, or that his gorgeous face was lined in concentration as he stirred a pot. It was that cocky, arrogant, egocentric Zip was doing something completely selfless – for Sarah. “It all smells incredible, and I can’t wait to eat it. But I’ll be right back. I’m just going to use the bathroom.”

When Sarah had left the room, Zip immediately grabbed a pack of cigarette from the drawer and lit one to calm his nerves. ‘Don’t act like you’re surprised she was looking at you like that,’ he yelled at himself. ‘You knew what you were doing when you spent the last five HOURS cooking. You wanted to impress her; you wanted to spoil her; you wanted her to look at you like that…’

“So, how long before it’s ready?” Sarah asked as she reentered the room. She smirked when she saw Zip immediately stub out his cigarette. “I told you, you don’t have to do that every time I come into a room. This is YOUR place. You can smoke in here if you want to.”

Shaking his head, Zip looked over at Sarah and tried not to notice that she had removed her business jacket, revealing a lacy tank top that showed off her curves. “You’re allergic,” he reminded her.

Rolling her eyes, Sarah moved a little further into the kitchen. “My eyes get a little watery, that’s all,” she told Zip. “I think I’d live.”

Leaning over the stove, Sarah took a big whiff of the spices that were simmering and made an ‘mmm’ sound. There were now only a few feet between her and Zip, and he looked at her neck as she pulled her hair back so it didn’t get in the food. “Wow, I can’t wait to try this. My mouth is watering.”

‘Mine too,’ Zip heard himself think automatically. “It’ll be ready in a few minutes,” he quickly told Sarah, turning around and opening a cabinet. Taking some plates, he handed them to Sarah. “Do you mind setting the table while I finish up in here?”

“No problem,” Sarah smiled at Zip, flushing when his eyes dropped to look down at her body before moving back up to catch her gaze again. Without another word, she turned and walked out of the kitchen.

‘Okay, you just got caught ogling her,’ Zip smacked himself on the forehead. ‘You are REALLY an ass.’

-----

“He’s STILL calling?” Zip asked later that night, no sign of joking in his expression. “You moved, like, five months ago. Don’t you think it’s fucking weird that he still calls you on a regular basis?”

“Dave is not a threat,” Sarah said with assurance as she leaned over and picked up her wine glass from the coffee table. “If you had ever met him – despite his size – you would know that. I think he’s just in a mixed up time right now. For a long time, being the motorcycle-riding, body-building, bad-boy of our home town kind of made him…” she smirked at Zip. “Well, it kind of made him like a local rock star. But you couldn’t possibly understand that, could you?”

Seeing Zip frown at her but stay silent in response, Sarah laughed. “I just think that, now that he’s seen this whole new ‘light’ or whatever, and now that this ordinary-plain-Jane girl he used to date is over him completely, he’s unsure how to react.”

“You’re not a plain Jane,” Zip said, not embarrassed by his words, even when he saw Sarah blush. “No, I mean it. No matter how small the town you came from was or how much people associated you as ‘Eddie’s little sister’, you… you just have this way about you.” Zip looked away from Sarah’s eyes as he finished. “You just have this… aura, or whatever, that makes you special.”

Not knowing how to respond, Sarah took a big sip of her wine. After the initial awkwardness of when she had first arrived had passed, she and Zip had been talking easily for the past few hours. But like every other night they spent together, as the night wore on, the tension between them seemed to build to an indescribable peak. “Thank you,” Sarah said softly, knowing her words would make Zip look at her again. “Thank you for saying that. It means a lot to hear that someone like you thinks that much of me.”

“Someone like me?” Zip asked, his voice accusing. “What, a rock star?”

Sitting up straighter – and knowing the wine had given her some liquid courage – Sarah leaned just a little closer to Zip. “No, you arrogant son of a bitch,” she said to him, a smirk playing on her lips. “I mean, someone like you as in someone I think is… cool. Period.”

Swallowing hard, Zip turned his face away from Sarah and took a long sip from his beer. It wasn’t enough, though. “I need a cigarette,” he said suddenly, standing up and taking Sarah by surprise. “I’ll only be a minute.”

Stepping out onto the private balcony of his condo – which was nowhere as nice as Joseph’s, nor did it have much of a view, unlike his band mate’s – Zip grabbed the pack of cigarettes that were lying on the small table in the corner and took one out. Lighting it, he leaned against the railing and took a deep drag. ‘You are an asshole,’ he told himself.

It wasn’t just that he was having dirty thoughts about Sarah; if that were it, he could just chalk it up to ‘Zip is a horny guy’, as all of his friends already knew. No, it was the jealousy factor that had really gotten to him in the last few weeks. He had been jealous whenever he heard Sarah talk about having lunch or drinks with Chris. In his mind, she was spending time with a guy she had dated. But, he knew deep down, Sarah really had no interest in this ‘Chris’. And tonight, when Sarah had jokingly recounted a message her ex-boyfriend had left for her, he had felt another surge of jealousy.

‘You have to fucking make up your mind,’ Zip yelled at himself, drinking almost half his beer in one swig. ‘Either you hang out with her as friends, or you don’t hang out with her at all. There is no other choice.’

“Are you okay?” Sarah’s voice came from behind Zip, startling him. She stepped out onto the balcony and closed the door behind her, her wine glass still in her hand. While they both tended to refrain from drinking when they hung out, for some reason neither person had argued earlier that evening to find a reason to not have a few drinks.

“I’m fine,” Zip immediately turned his gaze away from Sarah and towards the sky again, taking a drag of his cigarette. ‘When did things get so complicated?’ he wondered to himself. At least with Sin, it had made more sense. They had a history; his feelings had developed over time. But with Sarah… suddenly he felt almost as intensely as he had ever felt for Sin. And this was a girl that, not only had he not done ANYTHING with, but who he felt he never really could.

Leaning against the railing beside Zip, Sarah felt the warm summer breeze brush over her bare arms and smiled a little to herself. Yes, she was a little tipsy – even she knew that. But the feelings she was having right now were only amplified by the alcohol. ‘Normally, you DO feel this way around Zip,’ she told herself. ‘It’s just, after three glasses of wine, you’re actually able to admit it to yourself.’

Still, Sarah knew that nothing could happen between her and Zip. Even if she wanted something to, he was too freaked out by how Sin and Eddie might react. Suddenly, that thought reminded her of something. “Oh, I forgot to tell you,” she looked over at Zip. “I can’t hang out this weekend.”

“All weekend?” Zip’s head turned suddenly, studying Sarah. “Why not?”

Biting her lip, Sarah tried to stop herself from smiling at the disappointed tone in Zip’s voice. “Well, Eddie called me last night and asked me to have dinner on Saturday,’ she explained. “And I have that happy hour thing with the people from work tomorrow that I already told you about.”

“Yeah,” Zip said before he could stop himself. “With Chris.”

“Yes,” Sarah smirked at Zip’s profile as he looked back up towards the moon while blindly putting out his cigarette. “With Chris. And Lisa from Marketing. And Liam from Accounting. And Ava, who I haven’t hung out with in ages. Actually, I think I’m going mostly because of Ava. You wouldn’t believe what she said to me yesterday.”

“Yeah?” Zip turned towards Sarah, trying to hide any interest in his expression. “What was that?”

“Well,” Sarah’s cheeks filled with color again, causing her to take another sip of wine and not look at Zip as she spoke. “Ava has asked me to hang out a couple times over the past few weeks, and I always told her I had plans. Because I did. With you, but of course I never said that.”

Zip just waited for Sarah to continue.

“Anyway,” Sarah glanced over at Zip and giggled. “Ava… she accused me of having a secret boyfriend. Of course, I denied it,” she immediately added. “I mean, of course I denied it.”

Unsure where the feeling was coming from, Zip suddenly felt himself filled with annoyance. “So people are starting to guess that we’re hanging out together, and you think this is funny?” he asked. Sarah, taken aback, tried to explain that she hadn’t said a word about their friendship, but Zip pushed on. “People are saying you have a secret boyfriend? Fuck, Sarah, I’m not your boyfriend. Hell, we haven’t even kissed yet.”

Sarah had been about to get into another screaming match with Zip when his last words shocked her into silence.

“What?” Sarah finally asked, feeling shell-shocked.

“What?” Zip looked confused by the expression on Sarah’s face. “I said, it’s fucked up that people are thinking you have a boyfriend because we’re hanging out, considering that we haven’t even kissed.”

”Yet.”

“What?” Zip was completely lost.

Turning towards Zip, Sarah tried to grasp hold of any courage in her body. With one quick step, she moved closer to Zip. “You said ‘we’ve haven’t even kissed YET.”

“I did?” Zip’s heart felt like it was pulsing in his throat. “Well, I’m kind of drunk. Sorry. Sorry my words are a little fucked up right now.”

Never in her life had Sarah needed to gather as much nerve in such a small period of time as she did at that moment to take one step closer to Zip, brining their shoulders together before she spoke again. “You said ‘yet’,” Sarah reminded him, looking at Zip’s profile close-up. “Why?”

‘FUCK!’ Zip cursed at himself, still staring at the crescent moon. He was trying to figure out what to say before he turned to look at Sarah. He was pretty sure he had figured out something good to say when he turned to her, but when he saw her hopeful brown eyes staring up at him, his mind blanked.

“This can’t happen,” Zip repeated the same exact words he had used on Sarah the first morning they were together.

Sarah, however, had gone through some changes since that morning nearly a month ago. “I know that….” She told Zip, looking into his midnight-black eyes. “In my head, I know that this can’t happen. But whenever we’re together, it’s hard not to want to act on my feelings.”

Studying Sarah’s face for a long minute, Zip couldn’t disagree. “I know,” he told her softly. “I know it’s hard. I just…”

Suddenly, Zip stopped. Sarah hadn’t moved any closer to him, but her eyes had glassed over, and her head had slightly tilted. He had seen that expression – desire – many times on the faces of other girls. But on Sarah’s innocent expression, it felt like too much.

Without letting his mind think for even a moment longer, Zip reached out and cupped Sarah’s cheek. Her skin was as soft as a flower petal, and she sighed almost inaudibly at the contact. Meeting her gaze for a long moment, Zip gave Sarah the smallest of nods before his eyes closed.

As Zip’s lips met Sarah’s, she felt a surge of electricity through her body she had never felt before. His hand was still on her face, caressing it gently, as she reached for his hips, bringing their bodies closer together. Feeling Zip’s hot breath against her mouth, Sarah automatically opened her mouth just a bit. She was rewarded by a soft moan from Zip, followed by his teeth taking her bottom lip between them.

Forcing himself not to think for a moment, Zip let his hand slide from Sarah’s cheek to the back of her neck, tangling in her long hair. His other hand moved to her waist, feeling the curve and tight muscles. As he felt her body relax beneath his touches, his tongue tentatively reached into her mouth. He was pleasantly surprised to feel her return the kiss with as much warmth and passion as he had ever felt. Their bodies were now flush against one another, as Zip’s hand automatically rose from her waist to cup her breast. It was only when he felt her hardened nipple beneath the pads of his fingers that he snapped out of his reverie, pulling back from the kiss and from Sarah.

Blinking, Sarah tried to figure out what had just happened… Why had Zip pulled away? Her question – sadly – was quickly answered.

“You have work in the morning,” Zip said in an unreadable voice, looking away from Sarah. “You should go.”

“But I-”

“You should go,” Zip repeated, his voice colder and his eyes not meeting Sarah’s. “Now.”

Staring at Zip for several excruciatingly silent moments, Sarah tried to comprehend the situation. “Did I do something wrong?” she finally asked, wondering how the most incredible kiss of her life had suddenly turned into this… nightmare. “I didn’t mean to do anything wrong…”

Having the overwhelming urge to hit something very large and very hard, Zip shook his head, still refusing to meet Sarah’s gaze. “You didn’t do anything wrong,” he told her, sounding like a robot. “But it’s time you left. Now.”

Tears were filling Sarah’s eyes, but she stood there for a moment longer. She prayed she was hearing Zip wrong; she silently begged him to look at her. But after a full minute, she knew neither hope was true. “Fine,” she told Zip with as much resolve as she could muster. “I’m gone.”

Not turning even when Sarah went inside and closed the door behind her, Zip remained staring at the moon. ‘That was so wrong…’ he told himself. “So, so wrong. You asshole.’

So why had it felt so right?

-----

ANOTHER CHAPTER DOWN… BUT WA-A-A-Y MORE DRAMA TO COME. HEE! A FEW COMMENTS TO REVIEWERS:

IOTC247 – NOT SURE IF THAT WAS A COMPLIMENT OR AN INSULT… BUT A BIT SHORT? NO! PLEASE SAY YOU DIDN’T MEAN LENGTH, BECAUSE IT WAS ALMOST 10 SINGLE-SPACED TYPED PAGES.

TEMPLETON21 – YOU DID ASK FOR A KISS, RIGHT?

LEYLIA – THANKS FOR NOTING THAT. I THINK ZIP IS A BIT OF A BASKETCASE, AND TOTALLY UNSURE HOW TO REACT WHEN HE EXPERIENCES REAL FEELINGS.

SAMMO_00 – I CAN TELL YOU THERE WILL BE NO ZIP/CHRIS FIST-FIGHT, BUT THERE WILL BE MORE CHRIS. AND PLENTY MORE DRAMA!

REDSNAKE AND THE ANONYMOUS REVIEWER – I WAS ACTUALLY A LITTLE NERVOUS PEOPLE WOULD BE OFFENDED BY THE COMMENT. BUT IT WAS THE FIRST THING THAT POPPED IN MY HEAD, AND IT MADE ME LAUGH, SO I DECIDED TO PUT IT IN. I’M SO GLAD YOU LIKE IT!

CD – IF I EVER GET A BOOK PUBLISHED, I PRAY YOU ARE THE FIRST CRITIC TO REVIEW IT!

FOAMY_FAN15010 – MY EXACT WORDS WERE “THE DISCUSSION OF ZIP’S REAL NAME COMES IN THE NEXT CHAPTER”. SO YES, I’M MANIPULATIVE AND A LITTLE CRUEL, BUT NOT FULL OF BS!

THANKS ALSO TO SKOLLI, ARAINAINA, ADAEE, AFICI0NADA, ECSTATIC, FIRE_EYEZ, AND MIZTIKAL_DRAGON - WHO WILL HAVE TO WAIT A LITTLE BIT LONGER FOR ANYTHING NEAR XXX. SORRY!