To Become

2:24pm - Water

I guess I slept well. I did get to stay upstairs. I kissed him again though. He pushed me back and said, "That's enough. Go to sleep." I just smiled and moved closer to him. I was cold. He let me. "I wish you still had your long hair." I know.

Ryan said that we may play a game, but I'm still not allowed to go outside. I thought you said fresh air was good for me though. "It's also extremely cold and snowing." It's snowing! "Yes." Please let me! "No and don't ask again." I think we're going to play Monopoly. The others are going to go outside for a while until they start getting too cold then they'll come back in. So Ryan and I will just have a little time together. We'll be upstairs. It's really cold down in the basement. Was down there for a little bit.

Just watching TV right now. Nothing good. All election stuff. I wonder if Ryan is going to vote. I wouldn't know who to vote for. I don't keep up with it. I can't keep up with it.

Maybe Ryan can take me outside just for a few minutes. He did tell me not to ask again, but isn't it if you keep asking they'll finally let you? I don't know.

He's in his room right now. Greg is in the kitchen looking over at me every now and then. I wonder what Ryan is doing.

Greg was just really nice. "Want some hot chocolate?" Can I? Then Ryan has to interrupt. "No, she can't." But Ryan! I'm hungry and it's warm so it'll make me feel a little better and it's basically just water and powder! It's not like it's actually food! "I said no. If you want something warm, I'll heat up some water for you." Hot water? That's gross if it has no flavor! What about like green tea or something? "We don't have green tea." Then get some. "What?" Nothing. "Do you want some water or not?" I just nodded. He's heating it up now.

Hot water. Disgusting. But I guess right now, I really don't care.

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5:15pm - Spirit

So Ryan is leaving tonight. I'm going with him. I'm not sure where we're going but I know it's in Minneapolis. The only problem, it's going to be freezing! And there might be more snow which is okay because I like snow. I'm worried because I don't have a heavy coat. Ryan never got me one. We're taking a small break from Monopoly. We're still not finished. The others are already back inside.

I asked Ryan something right when we decided to take a break from playing. I asked about Sara's journal. I asked if he still had it. "Yeah, why?" I wanted to read it. "Why would you want to read it?" I don't know. I miss her. "Don't move." Then he left and got it.

I read a bit. Mainly the last entries. I stopped reading though. I couldn't read anymore. I started crying and I still am. I really miss her. I've been trying to keep my mind on other things which is why I don't really write about her journal. Maybe I'm wrong for that.

I still don't want to believe that she's actually dead. I mean, would Ryan really have her killed? He liked us. Both of us. I'm having bad flashbacks.

Journal, you know when I'm upstairs in that one room by myself, I see her. I talk to her. Perhaps it's just my mind playing tricks on me or maybe she really is there. I don't know. I've never believed in ghosts. I suppose it wouldn't be a ghost though. Her spirit. That sounds so stupid. But we do talk still. All the time. She never talks back. But she smiles. I don't know why.

He should have killed me too.

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8:38pm - Shot

I have no idea where I'm at right now. Ryan and I left and we were gone for a while. We went to see Michael and then Michael gave something to Ryan and then we left, but outside the club I just heard a loud noise and then Ryan grabbed his side and pushed me out of the way and grabbed his gun. Next thing I know, I'm screaming to get Ryan to wake up. I don't know if he's dead or if he's alive or...I just don't know. I got ready to run back to the club but then one of those men grabbed me AND you journal. I thought they were going to tear you up!

We were back between the club and this other building and all I could hear was music and their voices. One of them wanted to kill me but the other one said that they would take me with them and they listened to him. But the one holding me dug his fingers into my throat and I couldn't breathe then I don't remember anything until waking up here.

I'm in a small room. The sofa in here, it's green and really soft. At least the lighting is good. I wish I knew what was going on though and if Ryan was okay. And what do they want with me? Maybe they'll let me go and I can go back home. If only.

I'm scared Sara. Ryan may not always be nice but he does try to protect me. That's why he pushed me behind him, so I wouldn't get hit by the gun fire.

I heard something.

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11:57pm - Kidnapped

Wonderful! I'm involved with the mafia. AGAIN! However, these guys are nice. Really nice. Almost too nice. They want something. I don't know what yet, but they have to want something.

I don't have names yet. I told them my name and much about me, but they told me nothing about them.

This room is comfortable. I like it. I'm nervous. I think I just got kidnapped again.

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A/N:

to Linda - Yes, I can see why you would want to. lol Did I already answer this review? lol

to ladypandorarose - 'keep her thing' huh? I'm confused. lol I'm skipping part of my own story aren't I?

R&R

ily sensei!