Disenchanted

a/n- yes i know im putting this at the top rather than the bottom for a reason, some of the stuff in this chapter is a little disturbing...

sorry for how long that its taken, life has just kinda caught up and between dr. appts this is what has come out, i'll update more regularly so hopefully we'll get back into the flow of things. hope you guys enjoy it.

-Jayden

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The feeling of dread that was settling down in the pit of my stomach was slowly driving me deeper and deeper into insanity, voices screaming that I wasn’t worth it anymore that I needed to just let go already, let them take over like they begged me to do day in and day out. They taunted me, promised that in the end it would be me begging them to end everything.

“What are you doing out here? Its way past lights out we're supposed to be inside.” Karson chewed slightly on his fingers as he took a seat next to me on the cold grass outside. If I were to guess I’d say it was around two in the morning and I couldn’t sleep, so pulling the blankets off of my bed I moved to sit outside, ignoring the fact that I could get into serious trouble if I was caught, I needed the fresh air to the point that I was willing to do anything and everything that it took to get it.

“I would kill for a cigarette right now.” I muttered off hand as Karson shrugged slightly glancing over me; ignore the fact that I had completely disregarded what he has said.

“Those things will kill you, ya know.” He muttered softly curling his legs under himself as he glanced up at the night sky where my eyes were focused.

I laughed softly, not really feeling it as I shrugged slightly.

“That’s kind of the point.” Karson rolled his eyes before he was holding out a red and white pack of cigarettes out to me with a lighter.

“Didn’t exactly strike me as the suicidal kind of kid, kid.” He chuckled softly as if at some personal joke before he was slipping his fingers back through his hair.

I took one from his pack, nodding, almost thankfully to him before sliding it between my lips and lighting it, my nerves instantly calming as I took a slow drag.

“thanks.” I muttered before shaking my head softly as I exhaled, the white smoke curling softly in the darkness I sucked gently at my bottom lip, tasting the nicotine there as I glanced over at him. “are you okay to be around me, what with my tattoo and i?” the second that the words were out of my mouth I realized just how bitchy they really sounded but Karson didn’t seem offended, instead he just snorted softly before he was laughing rather hard, his arms curled around his waist.

“Jesus Christ you honestly thought that was real?” he smirked slightly, lighting a cigarette for himself, his hands shaking slightly as he did. He must have noticed the look on my face because he started laughing even harder, the lighter falling off of his leg to hit the floor with a dull thud. “That was all a show to piss Kristoph off…I could care less if you had a fucking tattoo or not.” He chuckled softly before shrugging, “anything that I could do to make Kristoph’s life a living hell I did. If it meant acting out and causing all sorts of problems then so be it…it made what he did to me that much easier to swallow.” He glanced over at me then, cigarette half smoked, dangling from his fingers, “you got lucky I outed him when I did, Christ son his eyes were set on you.” He leaned back on his elbows glancing over at me like the words that he just said had no meaning. “I mean sure his cock wasn’t anything to brag about but when it’s being forced on you, that’s a whole different story, I’m sure a pencil would hurt at that point.”

My stomach was churning as he talked to me, my throat tight and dry as I tried to come up with the right words to say, the best way to offer comfort. Karson wasn’t looking for that though, instead he shrugged and stubbed out the cigarette on the pathway and glanced back at me.

“I’m-“ I started but Karson cut me off, his hand wrapping around my throat, forcing the breath from my lungs as I stared up at him, eyes wide.

“Don’t you fucking say you’re sorry, like your better than me you fucking prick.” He growled as his hands tightened, my pulse pounding in my ears. He leaned down then, his lips pressing roughly into mine as his teeth sunk into the skin hard enough to bleed. I whimpered, pushing at his shoulder as I tried to get him off of me, tears springing to the corner of my eyes.

He pulled back slightly, a smirk curling the corner of his lips, the bright red of my blood standing out so much against the pale pink of his lips.

“you like that don’t you Metri…”he chuckled softly leaning down to slide his tongue along my abused lip, something that sounded like a purr coming from his lips as he did, “I can see it in the way that you move that you like things rough…” he sat up a little more, straddling my hips as he pulled his hands from my neck, “you open your mouth I’ll slit your fucking throat with a rock.” I nodded not trusting my voice as he lifted my wrists, ripping off the bandages from my mostly healed wounds.

“Well isn’t this interesting.” He smiled, this cruel smile that had my insides curling in fear before he was sliding his teeth over the cuts, tearing at the scabs with his teeth until they were bleeding again. He hummed his lips sealing over the cuts, and then he was sucking slowly, a groan leaving his lips as he rolled his hips almost roughly into mine. I pushed at his arm with my free hand, I wanted him off of me, but he just sunk his teeth into the freshly open cut tearing harder at the cuts. I cried out on pain only to have him draw back and slap me as hard as he could, teeth stained red as he openly growled at me. I bit my bottom lip, teeth sinking into the cut vision blurry as the tears broke free.

“You’re not going to say a damn thing to anyone.” He threatened as he once more wrapped his hands around my neck, “not Dr. Adams, not Dr. Watson, none of them, not even that little bastard Trevor, or so help me Metri, you’ll wish you died when you pathetically attempted to kill yourself.”

I nodded slowly, struggling to breathe as he smiled, leaning down to slide his bloodied tongue along the shell of my ear.

“You’re mine now, and I’m going to make sure that you never forget it.” And then he was climbing off of me and making his way towards the doors leading back into the hospital, “sweet dreams Metri.”

I lay on the cold ground for a long time, breathing ragged, wrists hanging down next to my body as I tried not to think about anything, tried to keep his words from echoing in my head.

‘You’re pathetic.’ It taunted, but those ones I was used too, it was the new ones that had me shaken.

‘Like Aiden would ever want to look at something that used…he’ll never want you now.’  My body hurt, my eyes stung and I didn’t want to move, but the cold air was starting to seep into my bones, my teeth starting to chatter. Rolling onto my stomach I pushed myself up, ignoring the dull throbbing in my wrists, trying not to look at the blood that fell rather steadily down my arms. The ground swam beneath my feet as I struggled to make my way towards the door, but somehow I managed, the door closing behind me with a dull thud that echoed down the hallways. One of the nurses doing night checks spotted me before I got to the room, her lips drawn into a thin line as he hands went to her hips.

“Demetrius what are you doing out of bed.” She demanded looking over me. I stumbled slightly as I tried to make my way towards my door.

The first lie that came to my mind probably wasn’t the most convincing but it was the best that I could come up with on such short notice and when everything was already more than a little dazed.

“nightmare.” I slid down the door frame my legs giving out as I glanced up at her, “they wouldn’t get off my skin I tried to stop them but I couldn’t.” she swore her eyes wide as she knelt down next to me, fingers going to my pulse, her other hand reaching the radio on her hip.

“Jude come quick, we have a patient down, bring the first aid kit!” the words were sharp but I wasn’t paying much mind to them, instead my thoughts were off in lala land. I closed my eyes, leaning my head back as the sounds of feet running down the hall echoed off the nearly empty walls.

“Oh lord.” Jude whispered softly, and that was the last thing that I heard.

 

 

“So Deme you and I need to have a little chat.” It was morning, a few days after the whole incident with Karson; the doctors had taken to wrapping my arms in thick gauze at night so that I could no longer claw at my cuts and bruises. Trevor was shaking my shoulder, leaning over me slightly as he did... Sunlight was barely peeking through the windows and he was insistent that I wake up no matter how much I just wanted to keep on sleeping.

“Please, give my five more minutes.” I mumbled flipping onto my stomach, grunting softly as I realized that Trevor was still lying on my arm and it twisted painfully.

“No, Deme, we need to talk now…”he was pressing a little harder on my shoulder, leaning over my, casting a shadow over my eyes in the faint light of the morning. “Please, it’s important.” I groaned softly reaching for my pillow and tugging it over my head, muttering softly to myself as I did.

I yelped startled when he pinched my side, shaking my shoulder a little harder with a soft growl.

“Seriously Deme this is really important!” he insisted as he poked at me. I reached up swatting at him, smiling softly as I heard the thump of him hitting the floor. I rolled onto my side sitting up slightly to look at him, the fight for more sleep on hold as he let out a rather frustrated sound breath. I cocked an eyebrow slightly, resting my chin against my hand before I smiled at him.

“Now tell me what was so damn important that you needed to wake me up during the middle of my rather nice dream.” Trevor looked flustered, his hands twisting the corner of the covers between his fingers, refusing to meet my gaze.

“So today is my birthday,” he finally muttered teeth moving to chew on his lip ring, “I turn 12 today.” I smiled and reached up to ruffle his hair with a soft laugh.

“Well happy birthday then kid.” Trevor’s eyes narrowed as he glared at me before he was on his feet, poking his fingers into my chest.

“that’s now what I wanted to tell you Deme and if you just shut your fucking mouth for one second I might actually be able to tell you!” I drew my eyebrows together wondering at Trevor’s sudden outburst. He groaned before he stepped back sliding his fingers roughly back through his hair, his eyes glancing down at the floor again, doing everything but looking at me.

“Okay then what is it?” I questioned, sucking slowly at my lip, turning my body completely so that I was facing him, hands clasped in my lap. I would do everything that I could to make sure that he didn’t yell like that again. It was just down right creepy when he did.

“The judge made a deal with my mom when I got my sentence. When it turned twelve so long as I didn’t cause any problems for the nurses I got released.” I held my breath as he let out a slow one, once more looking down at his feet. “They’re releasing me Deme, I get to go home.”