Lessons Learned

“Oh God… Nng… Oh s-shit!” Russell panted harshly, throwing his head back and growling through his teeth, a guttural and wanton sound ripped from the center of his chest and up his throat. “Fuck, Hal! Oh fu-ahhh!” Russell bucked harshly against Hal’s persistent thrusting, that bundle of nerves within him practically raw from being stuck so brilliantly over and over again. Leaning back against the freshly made hospital bed enough to get leverage, the boy wrapped far too heavy and hot legs around Hal’s waist, pulling him deeper, further. “M-more.” Russell heard himself beg, but pride was a commodity not known to the hungry. “Hal… H-harder. Please!”

Hal chuckled, pounding into his student with little resolve, eyes foggy with lust. Still he managed enough coherency to recognize how far gone the boy was. How close to release. “Be careful with the shouting, Russ.” He smirked, voice breathy and ragged. “The door might be closed, but that doesn’t mean the doctors won’t here you.” Russell closed his eyes, throwing an arm across his mouth to muffle his cries, biting down when Hal pulled almost all the way out before slamming in even farther than Russell thought possible, his prostate screaming with pleasure.

“Holy-!” Russell’s eyes snapped open, back arching impossibly off the bed by the sheer force of that heat, that blaze of feeling so close to ecstasy it made him ache with tension, his whole body trembling. Still, Hal continued, his motions quicker and less controlled now, demanding something Russell was to far gone to understand. Hal pressed his naked chest to the boy, sandwiching him between body and bed, and crushed their mouths together, teeth clanking impatiently as tongues darted hungrily inside. Somewhere in the haze of it all, Hal had intertwined his fingers with the boy’s, forcing his hands into the bed above his head, staying low and close as the rhythm of his thrusting became frantic.

No space existed between them, Russell’s heat locked between hot and sweating bodies, the nearness alone taking care of his neglected member with each movement. Russell was beyond words, beyond sound, Hal fucking the boy so far past anything they’d done in their month or so of secret screwing. It felt so passionate, so animalistic. So desperate.

All at once, Hal ripped his mouth from Russell’s, biting harshly where shoulder met neck, the pain lost in the sudden impossible collision of feelings. With one final jerk, Hal’s seed exploded into his core, Russell’s own climax overtaking him simultaneously, the impossible tightness of his orgasm milking his teacher of every ounce. Russell felt his heart pounding in his ears, his body too blissfully tense as the waves of euphoria wracked through him without resolve, leaving him breathless and defeated once it was finally over.

His legs fell from Hal’s waist and to the floor with a hard thwack, both student and teacher’s breathing labored and bodies too perfectly tired to move. Hal buried his face in Russell's neck, not letting go of his hands, Russell only vaguely aware of the mess between their stomachs once the clouds began to clear. Hal was so close to him, simply lying on top of him as he was, that Russell swore he could feel the man’s heartbeat against his own chest. It seemed to be going way, way too fast. Russell swallowed, his throat dry, and mumbled, “H-Hal?” The man flinched at the sound. “Are you okay?” Though it seemed to take far too much effort, Hal lifted himself off the boy and stood, his chest sticky with cum and his dick hanging soft and wasted out of the fly of his unzipped jeans. He ran a hand over his face and through his hair before answering, smiling brightly enough to make Russell think he’d imagined the erratic heartbeat, so close to his own that it seemed they’d shared one.

“That was one hell of a fuck, kid.” Hal chuckled deeply, his breathing almost back to normal. Russell sat up, groaning at the growing soreness in his ass.

“Yeah.” Russell stood, his legs wobbly and weak. He attempted to take a step forward, looking about the hospital room for his shirt, but the forgotten pants jumbled right by his feet had him stumbling into his teacher’s arms. He blushed at the smirk Hal gave him, standing upright and working his legs back into them before mumbling. “One hell of a fuck.”

Grabbing a rag off the chair, Hal began wiping at the mess still on his chest and stomach, Russell choosing to continue his search for the rest of his clothes. His hoodie was draped unceremoniously over a chair, the first thing to be ripped from his body when he came to see Hal that day. Hal had been up and about when he arrived, the bed made and his stuff packed. Russell had been to visit him the last three days after school, staying as long as the doctors would allow and simply keeping the man company. Hal hadn’t complained, though that was usually because his visits never ended without one of them either kneeling on the floor or on the backs. This time, before Russell had even had an opportunity to question Hal’s packing, wondering briefly whether they’d allowed him to leave on good behavior, Hal had closed the door, thrown him on the bed, and proceeded to rip off the boy’s clothes and have his way with him. Russell hadn’t been complaining, but there was something about Hal then. Something that screamed in subtle desperation. Every thrust was deeper, every bite harder, and through it all, the man said nothing. No dirty words or grunts of pleasure. Somewhere along the way, Russell had been overcome by his own desire, forgetting the questions that buzzed about the Hal obsessed part of his mind. But now that the burn in his arousal had been more than satisfied, he saw something in Hal’s eyes that troubled him. A look that made the boy nervous. Worried. It was a look that could have been translated any which way, but Russell only saw two words: Not enough.

“Hal, I-” He started, but the man’s stare was empty, his mouth smirking like usual, but his face practically emotionless. Russell cleared his throat, trying again. “Have you seen my shirt?” Russell looked away from his teacher, feigning interest in his search as he checked under the bed.

“Uh, yeah.” He heard Hal chuckle softly. When Russell looked up, the man was smiling softly, his eyes apologetic. The look made Russell’s heart ache, yearning for more of that genuine emotion not shielded by whatever it was Hal couldn’t tell him. Whatever it was Russell was too afraid to ask. The boy’s eyes drifted to Hal’s hand, his shirt unfolded and covered in splotches of drying cum. “Found it.” Russell frowned, standing up and wrenching the shirt from his grasp, Hal chuckling evilly.

“Thanks…” Russell mumbled, figuring he might as well use it to clean his own stomach off. Hal turned back to his packing, throwing a couple of random items in a bag as Russell stood there. “Hal?” He tried again, though he had no idea what he’d even begin to say. What’s wrong? It wasn’t as though he hadn’t asked THAT one before. Are you okay? That had gotten one hell of a response the first time. Before he had a chance to decide, however, Hal turned to face him, smiling almost warmly, though there was still something unsettling in his eyes.

“Go get yourself cleaned up, okay? I just need to talk to some doctors and shit, then we’ll get out of here.” He said.

Russell paused, not sure he understood. “You mean…” He started to say, but he couldn’t bring himself to ask. Was he inviting him back to his place? “But I thought-”

Hal shook his head, laughing. “Russell…” He sighed, that same cocky-ass smirk on his too perfect and kissable lips. “You think too much. Just get your ass in the bathroom and clean yourself up. I’ll wait for you in the lobby.” Russell stared at his teacher for one more brief moment before nodding happily. Hal chuckled again, ruffling the boy’s mussed, long brown hair once before grabbing his bag and heading out the door.

Russell settled himself in front of the bathroom mirror, closing the door just barely as he ran his shirt under some hot water from the sink. Once it was drenched enough, he wiped a trail down his chest and stomach, the warmth of it giving him goosebumps, and made sure he was completely clean before slipping on his hoodie. It was when he began running his fingers through his hair in attempts to return it to a less unsightly ponytail that he heard them enter the room.

“But Dr. Levi…” a young woman’s voice seemed to beg, confused. A nurse maybe? Russell paused, listening from his hiding place as he tied up his hair. “Sir, there were surgeries he could have signed up for, operations that could have been done. Why would you just let him-?”

“Nurse.” The doctor snapped, silencing her at once. “This isn’t the first time Hal Falkner has refused treatment for the aneurism. And for good reason. Frankly, Julia, there’s no more we can do without concent; not if he wants to continue living a normal life. Where it is in his brain isn’t accessible through standard procedures, and the operations he needs are more expensive. More risky. You’ve seen his charts. It could rupture any day now, and he knows that. Mr. Falkner isn't a gambling man, Julia.” The doctor sighed, the sound almost dissapointed. "All we can do is let the boy live what’s left his life"

“But he’s so young.” The nurse’s voice wavered, as though the thought made her incredibly sad. “Can’t you convince him? You’re his doctor!”

“Enough.” Dr. Levi ordered, his voice stern but in no way annoyed. “As of two hours ago, Mr. Falkner was discharged from this hospital and is no longer in our care. If he wants our help, he’ll come back for it, but if not, there’s nothing we can do. He is no longer our patient.”

Russell had stopped breathing, his heart pounding in his ears like it had been only moments ago, though for very different reasons. An aneurism? Nothing more they could do? No. No, this wasn’t right. They weren’t talking about Hal. They couldn’t be… Russell’s arms hung limp at his sides, eyes drilling into those of his reflection, strands of hair hanging in front of his face, while all the while his ears strained to hear more, hear ANYTHING that would tell him he’d been listening to the wrong conversation.

“How long does he have?” The nurse asked after a moment of silence, the sounds of the room being cleaned and papers being rustled masking the tension that was probably so thick it was visible in the small hospital room.

The doctor didn’t answer at first, making Russell wonder if she’d been talking to herself. But just in case, Russell leaned as close to the door as he could, desperate to know the answer himself. Finally, the doctor sighed. “I don’t know, Julia. With the way he lives his life, it’s a wonder he’s still around at all.” He paused for a moment, the beep of a monitor turning off filling the gap as Russell waited impatiently for him to continue. “If I had to give it a number, with the size of the aneurism and Mr. Falkner’s blatant disregard for treatment, not to mention his lifestyles choices… I’d say a few months at most.”

Russell felt the door slam against the wall before he actually heard it, his hand grasping the knob and wrenching it open so harshly it had him stumbling over himself with shock. Dr. Levi and the Nurse, Julia, stared wide-eyed at his entrance, the boy scrambling to his feet and grabbing his backpack off of the chair in the corner, his heart hammering in his too tight chest, his eyes stinging for reasons his frazzled mind couldn’t comprehend yet. All he knew, all he could see, all he could feel, was the doctor’s response echoing around him, mocking him, berating him, beating him. Months? MONTHS?! Russell bolted out of the room, ignoring whatever unintelligible cries the nurse made at his back, and sprinted down the hall towards the lobby. This wasn’t possible. This couldn’t be… Hal couldn’t be… Was this what Hal had been keeping from him? Was this why…? Was this…? How…? Why? He was twenty-six for God’s sake. Twenty-fucking-six! This couldn’t fucking be happening… Not when… Not to him… Not… No… The moment he could see the entrance to the hospital, Russell stopped.

Hal stood waiting for him, leaning against the receptionist’s desk, talking to the girl behind the counter. Making her laugh, smiling at her with that cocky half-smirk that Russell had grown addicted to. He looked completely normal. He looked completely healthy. But Russell could see his eyes, those eyes that had been hiding something from Russell this whole time. Eyes that had been hiding THIS. Russell wiped the tears from his facevv, suddenly overwhelmed with the desire to simply go home with this man, his teacher who’d been no more than a fuck buddy all this time, he’d tried to tell himself. But even as he put on a brave face, masking the agony that racked his body and shouted in his head, he couldn’t ignore the two words that plagued him, the ones that the doctor had stamped onto his heart the moment he’d given Hal an expiration date. The ones Russell’d sworn he’d seen Hal’s eyes only minutes ago.

Not enough.