Do I Really Want You?

All right Derrick's point of view this time. I know this story seems to be running a little slow but I did mention in the first chapter that that's what I was going to do. It's hard to make these characters do what I want they just keep making things happen but do not worry I will have steamy chapters in here . . . somewhere. So REad, Rate And Enjoy.

Thoughts are again surround by the''.and I do say that they thought this or that so you shouldn't get confused



Derrick’s POV


I felt myself drifting awake with the thoughts of two other people ringing in my ear. It wasn’t that strange but the thoughts were feminine. That was weird. I shifted and felt a weight near me, well more like on me, but it wasn’t unpleasant just not expected. I started to open my eyes and I could immediately tell I was in the wrong room. This was not the right color ceiling. And the figure next to me was definitely a girl. Crap. Please do not let this be Chelsea. I took a breath before glancing over to my right. I breathed a sigh of relief and then wonder. It was Sonia.

I wondered when she had fallen asleep, actually when had I fallen asleep? Her mind was drifting lazily in and out of consciousness. One moment I could see a purple color the next blue, or maybe it was green and then image’s would pop up, maybe a colorful fish or a piece of coral. And then my face, only briefly but long enough to let me know it was there. I lay there amazed in a way. I had never listened or watched someone as they dreamed. It was very fascinating. But then I heard other thoughts and it was hard for me to pull myself away from her mind.

‘So he’s finally awake is he?’

That was definitely another feminine voice. I turned to see Katrina, sitting on the bed next to us lazily taking
a drag from a cigarette. Crap. I had forgotten about us having to share rooms . When did she start smoking? I pulled myself carefully from Sonia’s arms and sat up. I had to say she was definitely cute when she slept. I was tempted to just watch her again but instead I made myself look at her friend. She didn’t seem very happy about finding me there.

“Uh, Hi,” I started, my voice a little raspy.

She nodded, ‘At least he has the decency to greet me.’

I took a breath and swallowed. I wondered where this was going.

“Do you not want me here,” I asked, preparing to find my stuff quickly.

She took another drag, inhaled deeply, and thought for a moment.

‘I wonder is that why I’m feeling prickly or is it because that molester actually found his way under my skin somehow,’ She pondered. ‘Jake sure is persistent.’

“I wouldn’t say I don’t want you here. . .” She started, “I just don’t understand why you are here?”

“Well . . . we sort of lost track of time,” I said trying to figure this out myself. “I’ll leave if you want me to?”

“Hmmm, if you want to go I won’t stop you,” Katrina said, staring at me with her stormy grey eyes.

I nodded at that and found my shoes. I slipped them on carefully, keeping notes on her thought s before lifting myself back up and looking at her. Her gaze was very intense, it was a little more then what I was expecting to see from her eyes. I breathed and for a moment as I turned to look at Sonia again I was lost in her thoughts. I was also lost on the way she looked in her sleep innocent, and vulnerable. I could not hurt her again if I could help it; I had to try harder to make my intentions clear.

I looked away from her and notice those grey eyes on me again. I nodded at her and walked around the beds to get to the door.

“Oh, Derrick,” She called.

I turned to look at her and frowned as her thoughts flew through her head.

“If you hurt this girl again, you will pay, and you will regret ever trying to make a game out of her,” Katrina said.

I looked at her my eyes raised my hand poised on the knob ready to turn and I was surprised by the fierce quality her thoughts had changed to. She was serious. She wasn’t just making an idle threat she would really have my ass if I screwed Sonia over.

“Are you trying to scare me,” I asked.

“No, but warn you yes, If I can’t get to you, then Sony will,” She replied pulling smoke in my direction. “Don’t take her shyness to lightly, ‘Hell hath no fury like a women scorned’, or so that saying goes.”

I wanted to say I think Sonia’s too shy to get even, not like I was trying to cause an argument like that but her attitude and manner toward me this evening was something to not take as just a onetime thing. Her thoughts were representations of the things she wished to do and if I did pushed her to far who’s to say she wouldn’t get back at me.

“I’m not trying to play with her,” I said.

“Then don’t send her mixed signals, you and I both know she’s naïve and awkward when it comes to dealing with other people especially boys, and the ones she likes mainly,” Katrina said her eyes trained on me again. “Don’t fuck with her, because if there’s one thing she knows how to do its to get angry and feel the sting of betrayal do not awaken that in her . . . it’s hard enough to get her to act as social as she is.”

“I do like her, a lot,” I added for good measure. “And I’m working on the mixed signals thing; I’ll remember your warning.”

She looked like she had more to say and she did it was swirling in her mind but instead she smiled a very condescending smile at me and took another drag. She didn’t trust me. As much as she was happy for Sonia and tried to pacify her by putting me in a good light when Sonia had doubted me she wasn’t falling for it. She could tell what was up, and it wasn’t going to get past her like it would Sonia. She was pretty skeptical about my truthful feelings for her friend. And I swallowed. Maybe I didn’t have to worry about Chelsea getting to her after all. She seemed perfectly capable of handling herself.

“Have a nice day,” Katrina waved.

“I’m not going to break her like you think I am, I truly do care for her, and as much as it’s pissing me off I’m glad she has a friend like you,” I said this with a nod to her before cracking the door. “Tell her I’ll see her later.”

I didn’t wait to see if she was going to reply I just opened the door and walked out. I closed it behind me and leaned against the wall. I could feel a curious pair of eyes on me walking down the hall, and I ignored them.

‘Why is derrick coming from Sonia and Katrina’s room,’ It thought.

I knew it would happen but I wasn’t going to care. I just sighed and picked myself up from the wall, heading towards the elevator. My room was on the fourth floor. I stretched as I waited. The tenseness in that room had been a bit overwhelming. Katrina didn’t like me and had a very great distaste for me right now. It would be hard for me to redeem myself in her eyes. I had saw in her head just yesterday that she had sort of been defending my actions. But that was only to appease Sonia and get her to calm down before she went and flip out or something. But she wasn’t stupid; I never thought she was maybe not as bright as she could have been because she was a giggly bubbly type of person. But her mind was sharp and she knew that I was still messing around with Chelsea. It had happened to her before to Katrina that is and she knew the signs of this. She knew a playboy when she saw one.

Yet she also knew how much, Sonia liked me and it made her leery to destroy whatever happiness Sonia had. Sonia was so naïve in some aspects that it made it hard to believe she could be so mature in others. But she felt like Sonia needed experiences in this. She needed to know how to talk to boys whether they were good or bad at least for the experience of trying. I sighed. I wanted to ask myself was I a playboy . . . and the answer was yes. I mean . . . maybe if I was a normal 18 yr old boy I would have thought nothing of it.

There was just something about seeing into other people’s heads that made me different, obviously. But I felt like because I knew I was hurting some one that I should try not to. This was the case with Chelsea. She was so sensitive, and she could take anything the wrong way, I didn’t want the blame on me if she did anything stupid, because she couldn’t look at a situation in a normal light. Not the twisted ones she imagined in her head. That was apparent from the way she had acted yesterday. Being in another state was really starting to bring out the claws in her.

Even though I was pretty sure, Katrina could handle anything Chelsea threw at her I wasn’t so sure about Sonia. At me she was able to react and stand up for herself. And I was actually rather pleased at that fact. She seemed like a push over but she wasn’t underneath all that quietness. But Chelsea was and she acted out in passive aggressive ways. Like insulting people in her head. I felt like it wasn’t going to be long before she was up to her old tricks again. Like when she were in the states she had cause many problems but she did it in such an underhanded and sneaky way the blame wasn’t put on her. I didn’t even know she had a hand in it until I heard her gloating thoughts.

I stepped inside the elevator as it opened its doors to me and I leaned against the wall, pressing the button for my floor. I should have woken up, I thought as I yawned. We actually had to do work today, and I was not looking forward to it. We were meeting with our sister school today, to work on a project together. Sense we would be here for two weeks the project actually had to turn out well. The doors opened surprisingly fast and I stepped out of them. I walked to my door and knocked. I was to lazy to take out my key.

“Where the hell have you been,” Ricky asked.

“Just out,” I replied walking into the room.

“Just out . . . like just out doing “things” with Chelsea again,” Bobby asked.

He was lounging on one of the beds, scratching his nuts lazily.

“Not exactly,” I replied.

“Look man you need to let her go,” Bobby said. “If you two say your done then be done.”

“Where’s this coming from,” I asked sitting down and kicking my shoes back off.

“Last night when you disappeared, she almost had a fit,” Bobby said.

“Yeah, kept going on about you messing with other women and stuff,” Ricky joined in. “And we told her ‘you guys aren’t together any more so get over it you’re a young horny man.”

I laughed at that a bit. At least they could say the things I felt too guilty saying.

“Naw, it’s not as funny as you think when we said that she went and said with a nasty smile ‘that’s what you think, he’ll come running back to me when he realizes what he’s missing’,” Ricky explained shaking his head. “It doesn’t seem bad but the way she said it was just purely evil.”

“Yeah, that girl got some issues, bro,” Bobby said. “She doesn’t show it around you but she’s crazy and mean . . . you better stop messing with her.”

“It’s not like I’m not trying,” I said.

‘Yeah but not hard enough if you sneak off for a quickie,’ Bobby thought. ‘The boy is pussy whipped.’

Hmmm, was I? It’s not like I didn’t like sex because I did but to be whipped by her . . . no that wasn’t it. I just didn’t know how to let her go without looking like an asshole. It was hard when dealing with an overly sensitive person.

“You need to try fucking harder, she’s one of those crazy chicks who thinks she always has a hold over you,” Bobby continued. “You’re encouraging her by screwing her every time you get a little boner.”

“It’s not every time,” I said defensively. “She’s just convenient.”

“Convenient my ass,” Ricky rushed in. “I say your whipped and you like being whipped otherwise you wouldn’t keep giving the crazy cow any more attention.”

I ignored them for a moment. I was glad I wasn’t the only one to notice her underlying strangeness but when they said crazy that sent off alarm bells in my head. You didn’t have to be old to be crazy and you didn’t have to be big or ugly either. Crazy was crazy and it came in all shape sizes or forms. But who wanted to think of someone they dated or put there cock inside as crazy. It’s crude but I’m trying to be honest. It makes me feel like I was a bad judge of character. Maybe I was and had been. Maybe even ESP couldn’t make you prefect at figuring out who people were. Look at how I confused Chelsea with Sonia?

“All right I see your points, I am trying I just feel bad being cold towards her,” I started to say and it was true I felt like a bad person when I was.

“You’re too sensitive for your own good,” Ricky said rolling his eyes. “If you’re over her why should you have to be put through her bull, just because she can’t man up to the decisions she made.”

‘Which is a little pathetic in and of itself,’ Ricky thought. ‘I never thought she’d dump him.’

“It’s better that she dumped me then the other way around, I can almost see her making a scene of it,” I said in response to his thoughts.

They gave me that look they always do when I pick stuff out of their heads.

‘How in the hell does he do that,’ Ricky thought not furiously but frustrated.

“Look, I appreciate all the advice but let’s just drop all of this for now,” I said rubbing my temples; they
were starting to drive me crazy with all of the preaching.

“Fine but don’t forget what we said, the girls crazy,” Ricky said while spraying on way to, much cologne.

“Got it,” I replied.

There was a pause as I looked up from the floor trying to keep my cool. I had to remember they were being honest with me. It was better then them lying to me.

“So where were you . . . for real,” Bobby asked, pulling on some shorts.

“Like I said I was out,” I replied.

“It had to be with a girl because why would you stay out all night for a guy,” they reasoned.

“Does it matter,” I asked.

“Yeah, it does matter because we have to make sure your not picking up any more crazy bitches,” Ricky replied before Bobby could.

“Look, Rick don’t call them bitches, they don’t all act like that,” He said and then turned to me. “But he’s right friends have to help with these types of things, because apparently you can’t see it right off Jump Street.”

“I can . . . I just over looked some . . . things on this one,” I said.

“So are you going to tell us who she is,” They asked again.

I sighed, and then thought it might help if they knew. They could look out for Sonia for me, and they were always good on gathering information. It’s not like I wanted to know everything they found out but I knew if I need something they would have it down. It’s just Ricky for a guy had a big mouth and he liked to run it . . . alot and without reason sometimes.

“I tell you guys but, try not to spread it around,” I started out. “Were not even really . . . “official” yet.”

“So it is a girl from our class,” Ricky said. “Chelsea was muttering about that as well.”

“Of course she was,” I mumbled.

“So who is it, I bet its Megan right, or know that one with the booty, Tracy,” Ricky asked. “No I bet its Katrina, Chelsea was mumbling about her to.”

“No, it’s her friend, Sonia,” I said.

They both looked surprised at me. And then they were both thinking for a moment before answering me.

‘Sonia . . . that quiet nerdy one,’ Ricky thought, almost testing the idea of it in his head.

‘So that’s why she seemed even more tense than normal,’ Bobby thought. ‘Ah, that must have been what that look was at the pier the other day.’

I almost smiled at the way they were taking this in. Ricky was always confused by my choices. He thought I would go for the obviously hot and sexy girls, which I did, but not right now. It wasn’t to say that that was all they were ever going to be but for right now that’s the path they had chosen. Bobby on the other hand tried to analyze why I would chose the girl, he almost had me figured out and he knew I went for more than just good looks sometimes.

“You seem to be on a “quiet girl” fetish here,” Bobby finally said. “You better be careful, she could be another Chelsea in the making just waiting for your skillful touch.”

“Naw, I don’t think this one’s like Chelsea,” Ricky replied.

“And why not,” Bobby asked. “Thery’re both quiet and we thought Chelsea was cool but she’s a grade A bitch when she wants to be.”

“I’ve been going to school with Sonia since, elementary,” Ricky said. “She’s a good kid, always willing to help out shy, smart and when her parents got divorced she was even shier then before but she’s always beennice and helpful.”

“I didn’t know you knew her like that,” I said.

“Ah, don’t get jealous man, all I’m saying is that Derrick here may have actually found a truly honest and nice girl without our help,” Ricky said. “I think we should be more worried for her then him, he is our resident pussy magnet.”

“Hmmm, when you put it like that I actually have to agree,” Bobby nodded. “We better try and make her steer clear of him and his” rakish” ways.”

They laughed at that and I had to smile, maybe they would help without me asking. But I wasn’t that bad of a guy I was young and I was pretty normal for a teenage boy in all honesty. Hmmm, I see our AP english class was getting to Bobby, rakish ways, I mused.

“All right you guys, I get it,” I said, hearing enough of them tearing me down. “I’m not trying to hurt the girl . . . I honestly like her.”

“You know she likes you too right,” Bobby said.

Ricky looked at him surprised and then looked at me.

“Yeah, I know,” I said.

“Don’t play with this girl feeling,” Bobby said. “She seems more delicate in a way, more than Chelsea anyways.”

“Yeah, you might break her down if she finds your still “Trying” with Chelsea,” Ricky said. “Does she know your both broken up?”

“Yeah she knows, I don’t think you guys are giving her enough credit,” I replied. “She knows about me “Trying”
with Chelsea and she chewed me out for it, a lot.”

“Really, so the quiet nerd has a little spice in there, interesting,” Bobby said. “Not to say its bad for her being a nerd but under all that shyness there’s something more.”

“At least we know she won’t let you get away with everything,” Ricky replied. “But you probably gave her all of that I promise to do better crap right?”

“I meant it, when I said it,” I replied. “And no we didn’t screw last night either; she wasn’t letting me get that far after screwing up.”

“How did you know I was thinking that,” Ricky asked.

“I know how you think,” I replied covering my tracks, it wasn’t a lie.

They were looking at me funny again and I just ignored it for now. I never knew they felt this way about her. I wondered if they maybe liked her but never said anything. At the thought of competition I found myself growing jealous. I searched through Ricky’s head. Looking for anything to do with Sonia’s because he seemed to know her better than I did. There wasn’t much there about her really, just a quiet admiration he had for her. Especially her brains, he liked how she wasn’t afraid to show how smart she was. I searched a little harder and a bit rougher then I intended because Ricky suddenly winced and I pulled back.

Damn, I needed to calm down. All he had was admiration, nothing more. I couldn’t go crazy over other people liking her. She was so likeable especially when you could get her to talk and smile. I took a breath and even though I had calmed my jealousy I still searched a little more careful through Bobby’s head. He didn’t see anything wrong with me liking Sonia he was more worried about me harming her in a way. Like emotionally, he pictured her as a quiet sweet, innocent girl who was probably going to get gobbled up by the devil, dealing with me. I wasn’t that bad.

“I’m really not going to intentionally hurt her,” I said. “It’s just hard letting Chelsea go without feeling like the bad guy.”

“We know . . .” Bobby began. “But we also know you, you like women, we all like women but you like the attention a little more than we do . . . And I’m pretty sure a girl like Sonia gives you her full attention because the cool guy has suddenly taken notice of her.”

“You’re not wrong,” I replied.

“Were just trying to warn you before you go and do something stupid,” Ricky said. “Chelsea’s a bitch but Sonia’s like an innocent little lamb and turning girls like that mean can be dangerous.”
I nodded.

“We don’t think you shouldn’t get together,” Bobby said looking at Ricky. “Go ahead . . . but when you mess up . . . don’t come crying to us.”

Nice and supportive guys. I understood where they were coming from though. And I appreciated it. They were being honest and they were giving me a second opinion that I think I actually really needed. I should have been like this with Chelsea and we wouldn’t be having this conversation. I rubbed my temples, thinking about the day. At least I wasn’t alone in this anymore. I mean I had Sonia but at least I had my friends covering my back.

“So . . .”I started slowly. “If I asked you guys to look out for Sonia if Chelsea gets to high strung would you do it?”

“Definitely,” Ricky announced immediately. “She’s helped me out, out of a pinch; I’ve always needed to return the favor.”

I looked to Bobby.

“I’ll say yes, but I will not keep things from her and I’ll warn her about you, and you’re crazy Ex,” Bobby said.
Of course the cynical bastard would be like this but at least he agreed.

“Thanks,” I said, feeling a bit of weight leave my shoulders.

At least after all of the chewing out my goal for them had been accepted. It probably helped that Ricky had some sort of emotion for her. He was like a loyal puppy dog to whoever he felt was worthy and had proved themselves for him. He had a noble character like that. It was cool, and he was actually a really good guy because of it. He could be a jerk but when it came to loyalty he didn’t waver.

Bobby . . . Bobby was probably using this as a form of entertainment. He likes to watch and observe people as much as he like to instigate and then sit back and watch his handy work. He was a bit evil when I thought about it; but he had a good sense of friendship. He wasn’t above telling the truth about us though; no he wouldn’t lie but he was careful on how he choose his words.

“We should probably get ready for our ‘academic’ work today,” Bobby smiled slyly at me.

‘Hmmm, maybe this if finally the one whose going to tame the beast,’ Bobby thought. ‘It would serve him right, might be good for him and all that Jazz, but if he’s this worried about her this might be the “one”.’

I tried to ignore that as I went and took a Shower.