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To Become

By: kylienna
folder Original - Misc › General
Rating: Adult ++
Chapters: 74
Views: 9,670
Reviews: 88
Recommended: 2
Currently Reading: 1
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance of characters to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. The Author holds exclusive rights to this work. Unauthorized duplication is prohibited.
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Tuesday, June 24, 2008

12:37am - Disgusting

It's late and I'm still awake. I don't know why I can't sleep lately. I'm still taking the Nyquil but it isn't helping at all. I really don't want Greg to drug me again. I don't like it when he does. Besides, he doesn't even numb my hand before sticking the needle in.

Ryan was upset today. I'm not sure what for, but I heard that Brad and him got into a fight. Brad left earlier in the day, so it was just Jason, Ryan and Greg who was here. He still hasn't come back.

Today, Ryan told me that I looked disgusting. I just stared at my feet. I didn't cry when he said it. He's right anyway. Not only do I look disgusting, I feel disgusting, too. When I was done for the day, I had semen in my hair and dried on my face and stomach from them ejaculating on me. It's sick. I hate it. I always want to just throw up, but I can't. I have to swallow. I want to wipe my mouth, but if I do, I'll get in trouble. I'll end up getting hit. I don't feel like adding to the bruises.

Greg says I'm depressed. He said that it's something that won't just leave. He's going to get a prescription for some stuff called Lexapro. It's supposed to be a stronger version of Celexa. There's a doctor who comes in here every now and then, so he said he'll just get the script from him. I don't want to take any medication. I don't need it. I don't see how it could help anyway when what I'm depressed about is being here in the first place.

Casey said that he was staying an extra month in the Middle East so when he was sent back, he would be able to take leave and come see me on my birthday. I wonder if he even knew anything about me being gone. I wouldn't think Mom and Dad would tell him. They would want him to concentrate on what he had to do. When you're flying a military aircraft, you have to be at full attention. My brother and I are really close, and now, I probably will never see him again. I never even got to say goodbye.

It's already thirty minutes past midnight. Why can't I sleep? Greg will just now be finishing up with whatever he does in his office. One time I heard an explosion. I jumped. I think he likes experimenting with different chemicals to see the reactions. He said that he always had an interest in Chemisty and actually majored in it before going to medical school. How he got caught up in this prostitution mess is beyond me. He said that he's known Jason and Ryan for a really long time and met Brad when the two brought him here for the first time. He said he was unsure about working with them, but he chose to eventually.

I feel claustrophobic again. It's really hard to breathe in this tiny cell. Sara is sleeping, and I don't want to wake her up. Usually I don't complain, but it just seems even worse than usual. I'm afraid of the dark and all we have is a small night light in the outlet on the wall.

I'm just going to lie down, and maybe I'll fall asleep. Soon.
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