Best Friends Means you Pull the Trigger

Six

Gerald’s collage grew, he didn’t know if it was called a collage, but it was a picture made of ripped papers. The blue gift wrap he had saved to use for sky was instead used for tears.

It was supposed to be the beach; it was suppose to be happy, it was suppose to be a gift for Michael’s birthday. Michael’s birthday came and went and the picture wasn’t finished and their friendship wasn’t fixed.

The picture morphed into Michael and him standing by the water, the sun setting behind them, seagulls diving into the water, tiny light blue tears rolling down Gerald’s cheek, slipping to his hand and landing onto Michael’s palm.

Everyday, Gerald expected Michael to come up to him as though nothing had happened. He didn’t want an apology. He didn’t want or expect anything; all he wanted was to see those blue eyes focused on him.

Never had they been so long with out talking. Michael would drive to the beach and watch Gerard as the watered touched his feet. He wanted to come near, he wanted to go over to Gerard and ask him to swim, but something kept him in his car simply watching.

-

Gerald was looking at the sky while lying over the cement rooftop of his building. It had been his mom’s idea to come up here. She had a hangover, but didn’t want to be in the house. Her head was sharing a pillow with his, a cold mask over her eyes, a soft breeze going over them.

“Why did you name me ‘Gerald’?” he asked her squinting a bit when a cloud moved, putting the sun right in his eyes.

“What’s wrong with the name?” Gerald tried to look at his mother, but it hurt his eyes to roll that far back into his head.

“It’s really geeky. I mean, did you know I’d be a geek?”

“You’re not a geek.”

“Why the name?” he asked. He didn’t know why he wanted to know, but something about his name was really bugging him.

“A name is name.” She shrugged. “I didn’t choose yours. Enough talk, relax.”

Now he had serious questions about his name.

They continued to lay there in silence. His mother fell asleep soon after her answer.

She never gave him the answer he was looking for, always leaving him with more questions.

Gerald geared his thoughts away from his origin of his name and thought about Michael instead. Michael was clueless, but Gerald didn’t blame him. Michael was someone who was always happy, who had no cares and attracted people naturally. Gerald repelled people, he didn’t mean to and he didn’t know how to change it. He had never talked to Michael about his family, whenever Michael asked Gerald would shrug, and Michael wasn’t one to push for answers. How could he blame Michael for not knowing him as well as he knew Michael? Gerald had learned from his mother to hide answers.

-

“I don’t see anything wrong with two boys kissing.” The football team was gathered at a restaurant celebrating the end of the season. It hadn’t been an eventful one but they had won more games than any other year. They were positive next year they would make it to regionals.

The boys had brought their girlfriends with them. Jay’s girlfriend was an emo freak. The other girlfriends were friendly to her while Jay was around but at any other time they all pretended they didn’t know her. Sandra could care less, she was only nice to them because she wasn’t a bitch like them, they didn’t have to like her and she didn’t have to like them.

The reaction she received to her comment was priceless. Frank’s soda had actually come out his nose, not much and she didn’t think anyone else noticed, but enough to smile about it. Jay had gone bright red, but he agreed with her, he had even kissed her best male friend for her.

“Eww,” said a big red head. She didn’t bother learning names.

“I second that,” said a short guy. “Now, if it were chicks, that’d be totally different.” Sandra had been waiting for that comment.

“And why if you find two girls kissing hot, I can’t find two boys kissing hot?”

“It’s different,” retorted May. “We are girls, it looks pretty.”

“Have you ever seen two boys kissing?” May shook her head.

“Why would I want to watch two fags kissing?” Frank’s date said.

“Who says that because they kiss they are fags?” Jay bit back. He sure as hell wasn’t gay, but he liked the attention he received from Sandra and her friends when he would kiss Fletch.

“Girls who kiss usually just do it for the attention, not because they are lesbians.”

“I like kissing other girls,” Silvia admitted, she was George’s girlfriend, “but I’m not attracted to them, they just, I dunno.”

“I like watching,” George laughed, high five-ing Frank across the table.

“I like watching boys,” Sandra challenged “and I find nothing wrong with it.”

Michael had kept quiet threw the whole thing. The whole conversation had started over a couple that had just left. He had to agree with Sandra they did look cute, but he’d never say it out loud.

-

His mom had thrown a fit when he told her he had to leave for work. She always said she got very lonely when he wasn’t home with her; he had to wonder if she didn’t know he also felt lonely when she wasn’t home. But fit and all Gerard was at work.

“Come to a party with me.”

“I don’t do parties, Ray,” Gerald said, moving chairs up so he could sweep and mop.

“I can bet you have never been to one.” Ray helped him with the chairs. Gerald looked back at Ray but didn’t answer. “Just, let’s go do something together, kay? Even if it isn’t the party.”

“I thought I was too young for you to date,” Gerald answered while starting to sweep. He did want to spend more time with Ray, but his mom was waiting at home and all he had time for was a quick stop at the beach.

“You are, but we can be friends.” The sadness filling his young friend’s heart was too much for Ray. He felt the need to erase it.

Gerald smiled.

“Let’s go to the beach. Swimming.”

-

“Gerald, you know the water is freezing,” Ray said, standing by his bike as Gerald took of his clothes. Gerald looked back at him in nothing but his underwear.

“Come on!!” he yelled, running into the water. Ray had to laugh. He had never seen anything as beautiful; he wished he had a camera or that he could paint, anything that could help him capture that moment forever. He wanted to pause the world, just to watch that young boy standing in his briefs under the stars with the moon casting its pale light over his tan skin, and the smile, the smile that made all the beauty around it jealous, the smile he never wanted to see Gerald with out.

“Ray!!” Gerald called from between the waves. “It’s not that cold.” Ray pushed himself away from his motorcycle and dropped his clothing over Gerald’s.

-

Nothing was the same, nothing had meaning, nothing had feeling. He didn’t know what was missing but it was something, something big, too big to ever be replaced. Friends, parties nothing was good.

After dinner, they had all planned on going to a party, there always seemed to be a party. Michael wasn’t in the mood for it, not the fear of been un-cool or May’s whining and threats were enough to change his mind. He invented a headache and had May ride with Jay to wherever the party would be.

He drove to the beach. The beach was just as special to him as it was to Gerald. He loved it, he liked to surf, he liked to swim, he liked to just lie in the sun. He was sure he owed his love for the beach to Gerald.

Gerald always wanted to go to the beach. Michael had once tried to teach Gerald how to surf; they had so much fun that day. It was middle school, and their differences didn’t matter back then. Gerald had fallen so many times, but he’d keep trying, he’d keep standing up. That was something about his friend he had always loved, he never gave up, he never stayed down. He use to never stay down, that day at the beach Gerald fell and didn’t get back up.

“I should have turned back. I should have helped him. I never should have pushed him.” Michael shook his head wondering why he was thinking about that.

“Who hurt him?” Michael thought that maybe he should have believed Gerald, but he also thought that maybe Gerald could be protecting someone else, he didn’t believe Frank capable of hurting Gerald.

Michael stopped his car and got off to walk on the beach, he needed to organize his thoughts. A part of him wished to find Gerald there, swimming or sitting on the sand. He’d go up to him and apologize; they would build a san castle together, anything he wanted. Michael would make it up to him.

“Ray! It’s not that cold.” Under the moonlight was Gerald. His skin glowing, the drops of water reflecting the light sliding down his slim figure. There he was smiling, the real smile not the fake thing Michael had seen on him.

“Michael, let’s swim!”

“We aren’t allowed in the water with out adults.”

Gerald was already touching the water, he turned smiling at Michael.

“I’m eight today!! I’m old enough.” Gerald ran into the water.

“Gerald!” Michael was worried, he was a bit afraid of the ocean “I don’t have a swim suit.”

“Neither do I!” Gerald yelled back, the waves softly hitting over his ankles. “Just come in your undies.”

Michael stripped down and went into the water.“Not further than our knees,” he warned.

A large wave hit Gerald pushing him into Michael. Michael’s small arms curled around his friend as Gerald’s laugh was heard over the waves.

Michael noticed that the laugh wasn’t only in his head; he looked up to see Gerald laughing. Then he saw Ray walking into the water, wincing at the cold. He saw how Gerald’s smile grew and how they both enjoyed the waves.

“He doesn’t need me anymore.” Michael sat down and watched them swim, watched them laugh. Michael knew he could no longer make Gerald smile like that, the smile he thought time had stolen, was simply reserved for someone else. Gerald didn’t need him anymore.

romanticfae - Thank you

Dee - Thank you

Anon - Thank you. Sean is one of my favorite characters, he is the smart and silent type. XD Penname came from the answer of one of those "who will you die" tests. When I seen it I knew I had to use it.

Genderless - Yay, for long reviews! Glad you gave the story a chance, I changed the summary and got a few more readers. I guess the old one really did suck.

Thank you, I'm trying to keep this at least a bit different. You've got Gerald down, I don't think I could have explained him so well myself. He is small and maybe physically weak, but he won't stay down. Ahh Michael, Michael, he is too busy being cool to see much else than his own nose. Is he bad? Is he good? I can't say. Sean, smart and silent.

Mrs. Harrison and Gerald's mom are character that I really didn't want them to be stereotypical, I'm glad to see through your review that I've achieved this.

Again thank you for the wonderful review.

Shay- Thank you.

storytellersdaughter- Thank you

etrenoir - Thank you.