Kingdom Born

CHAPTER THREE: Banishment

I could feel the cold slowly seep into my joints to add to my other aches and pains that were plaguing me in my prison cell. Yana had refused to lock the door to my prison, I could walk out at any time, but I was not about to jeopardise any more of my career by going for more blankets. Stalker would come to gloat when I was out and that would be the end of me. I had connections in high places in Sandshore and they did not need to fight any more charges against me than necessary. I shivered and reached down and re-adjusted my heavy woollen cape over my shoulders. The spring days were still warming up but the nights could get so damned cold as if Lady Winter never left. Another shiver racked through me, as if she would never leave.


I stood up and began pacing around my cell. My ankle had healed surprisingly well in these three days of incarceration. As I looked out of the small barred window down into the emptying street below the school bell echoed throughout town. Sounding even louder in the brisk night air. Karl would be finishing off his lecture now at the school. He would wrap himself up in his long wool cape I bought him last Winter's Eve and march himself back to our house. My heart pained when I thought of him sitting alone with Kyle in our house. But this feeling was better off dead. Even if I was released from my Oath and made into an ordinary civilian, how could I support my family? The only thing that I knew was swordplay. I couldn't stomach to teach the senseless richer girls how to swagger about while wearing decorative and useless swords. I would sooner haul cargo up from the ships than degrade my association with the Daughters of the Blade. No. Karl was a handsome young man. He could easily find another mate.

"I would sooner you slit my throat than toss me away." His words cut through me as if he had been reading my mind. Karl stood in the opened door, arms folded across his chest and his expression a battle of concern and care. "I hate seeing you in here."

I didn't say anything. I wanted to grab him, hold him close. At the same time I wanted to rail at him for coming to me and making my sense of failure even more acute.

"Kyle is with your mother."

"She always did dote on him."

"Phara..."


"You shouldn't be here."

"Neither should you. By the Goddess Phara, I cannot believe the charges posted against you. I saw the men you rescued...how can the Council do something like this to you?" He cross over the threshold in long strides and caught me up in an embrace I wanted...but did not want. I pressed my head down into his chest and listened to the sound of his heart.

"I've asked Moko to do something about it."

I pushed him away. "I wish you wouldn't have."

"I had to - you were doing nothing for your defense. Yana was no help either. What did you expect me to do? Just stand there and let them strip you of everything?"

"I expected you to turn away and get on with your life."

"You are my life!" Hands roughly grabbed my shoulders and he spun me around to face him.

"Why do you think I stay here? Why?"

"Let go of me." I tried to twist out of his grip but he shook me again. "Let go of me or I'll hurt you."


Reaching up, I caught his wrist and twisted it outward. Then I gave him a gentle shove to the chest. He staggered backwards, grey eyes widened with pain and surprise. I had never hit him before. No true woman ever would abuse a man like that but then right now, in this prison cell, I was nothing. Karl grabbed at his chest and stared at me....with eyes the colour of storm waves. He looked at me as if he had never seen me before in his life. He turned and hastily descended the stairwell without a single look backwards.

"Karl!"

I stood in the open doorway and watched him disappear around the corner. I was wretched. If I took after him, there would be no telling what fate I would be falling into or dragging him into. Then any benefits, he and Kyle were entitled to them, would be lost or absorbed into trial costs. By the Goddess, this was getting so complicated. This was good....Karl would draw back and the separation could come easier. If I told myself this enough times, I might be able to believe it.

Pulling the cloak tightly around me as another shiver beat through me, I tried to tell myself that it was simply the cold night. But this cold was so deep, I feared my heart died. It was redundant to shut the cell door, so I left it open and began pacing, trying keep my body from stiffening and my mind from worrying about things over which I had no control.

My mind skipped back to Karl. The day we first met was trapped forever in my mind. That day changed my life.


Yana and I were drunk and pretending not to be when we staggered down to the storm swept beach the dawn of my birthday. We had been celebrating the end of my childhood and ushering in the vices that came with adulthood while the waves and rain pounded at the walls outside of the tavern. Now the early morning dawn was pin and grey with mist as the sun slowly began to rise far off in the east. Officially I was a woman and could begin to court in earnest where I had played in the night if I was a sort to do that thing. So far there was no man in the town that set my heart a kilter. Yana dropped to her knees in the west cold sand. How easy it was for her to fall in and out of love - a new man in her arms every week.

She flopped back into the sand, "Phara are you a virgin?"

"You got a problem with that?" I dropped down beside her letting the cool dampness seep into my legs.

"You're eighteen years...shouldn't you have fucked somebody by now?"

"You're mouth's a gutter.

"No, I mean. Haven't you ever wanted to.."

"No."

Yana's pale blue eyes widened with disbelief. "Never?"

"What's your point?"

"Haven't you seen the way Zaren looks at you. He's like a dog in heat around you."

"Zaren!"

"Don't tell me you've never noticed."


"I can't even respect Zaren much less fuck with him."

"Call me gutter mouth will you." Yana sat up and grabbed for me. I rolled away, climbed to my knees and started to run toward a stand of trees not far from us. They hung on the edge of the beach with all their roots to keep from falling into the sea. It was useless. Sooner or later the waves would just tear them free. Yana tackled me from behind. I nearly slammed face first into the rocks anchoring the trees roots.

I rolled over and ground a handful of wet sand into Yana's gapping mouth. She let go and I crawled away until I touched an icy hand. Goddess. Yana spat out the sand and made to jump on me but all my playfulness was gone. "Get a Healer!"

"Did I hurt you?" Yana turned her head and coughed out more sand."

I followed the hand to an arm that disappeared into scrubby seabushes. I grabbed them and wrenched them free to reveal their hidden treasure - a naked stranger.

"It's a man." Yana grabbed for her dagger at her belt and looked around us scanning for any other signs of intruders.

I felt his neck for a pulse and was rewarded with a steady beat. "He's alive. Go and get the guards and a Healer. I'll stay with him."

"Should we carry him?"


"I can't tell how bad he's hurt. We might do more damage. Hurry."

Yana turned and ran back the way we had walked. I hadn't realized how far away from the outer walls we had travelled. He groaned. I sat beside him and just stared...he was the most gorgeous man I had ever seen even with his mottled bruises and blue tinged skin. Something twisted between my legs. I wanted him.

He groaned again and then began to shiver.


Yana had disappeared in the distance. The guards would take one whiff of her and dismiss her pleas as nothing more than the mead talking. I had no idea how long she would be. Carefully I felt along his spine, testing for any abnormalities. All I felt was cool skin that burned my finger tips. My nipples were beginning to harden. His teeth began to chatter. I ripped open my shirt and stripped off my pants, carefully turned him onto his back and lay down on him, pressing my warmth against him. The shock of his chill ripped threw me. I leaned closer to him then looked up at his face. Short brown hair was matted to his forehead and sand caked onto his handsome face. He had a firm square jaw and narrow, blue, lips. Carefully I brushed the sand away. He was the most extraordinary man I had every seen. A fire raged between my legs, I wanted to rub myself all over him. I contented myself with a chaste kiss and a low whisper. "You're going to be mine."

I had no doubt in my mind that Yana would get back in time with the Healer to save him. At no point was I concerned that he would die. The sheer arrogance of youth. I had found the man that I was going to marry so everything was going to be all right.

I pulled the blanket tighter around my shoulders. Sheer arrogance. What was I thinking about? I had just tried to drive him away. I had hit him. I had never struck a man before in my life. Above me in the rafters I could hear the cooing of doves as they settled in for the night. The contentment of animals. What would I give if I could have the same contentment Karl and I had when we were younger, ten years younger.

I went to the Temple everyday to sit beside the brown haired stranger. The Healer said that he had the luck of the Goddess with him that we found him when we did and that I had the presence of mind to try and warm him. I didn't tell her that I had taken a secret kiss nor planned to get him into my bed as soon as he was better. Yana had just looked at me when she brought back the Healer and a brace of guards. I was thankful that she said nothing. I wouldn't have know what to say. It felt like someone had just shot an arrow into my heart and I was bleeding inside.


It took him weeks before he could sit up. I was sitting at his side, taking the liberty of holding his hand when his eyes opened. Those grey eyes that can be so expressive and binding. He said nothing. The Healer explained that when he felt safe, he would probably speak again as she could find no reason why he couldn't talk. I came everyday after weapons drill smelling strongly of the barracks lye soap and bringing small heart gifts; wildflowers, candies, extra bread and wine and even a small gold bracelet. He watched me in silence not touching anything. I would have become disheartened if Priestess Maline hadn't told me of how he would gather them and hold them after I had gone. He had no other visitors mainly because I frightened the curious off.

This was the first time that I didn't feel guilty about using my size to intimidate others.

One day, close to a month since his arrival to Sandshore, I brought in a book that I had taken off of my mother's shelf. I could read and write well, however the art of storytelling was not one of greater strong points. I could read and explain but I couldn't bring the words to life. I finished off the first story and was about to get into the second one when he took the book out of my hands. "You bore me."

I was devastated. I got up out of the chair. "No...please...sit." His voice was lyrical. "It's just....you don't read for pleasure do you."

"I didn't think you were even listening half of the time."

"Half of the time I wasn't...just when you came."


I just sat there staring into his beautiful soul stealing grey eyes. "What's your name?"

"Whatever you want it to be?"

"UH?"

"Karl"

"Phara." Stupidly I stuck out my hand to shake his.

"I remember you from the beach."

I flushed red.

"I remember your hair blazing wild all around me. Just like it is now."

He reached out and touched my loose hair. It was vain of me that I hoped he would notice my striking colouring...tanned skin, red hair and green eyes. Zaren had belaboured over each of my attributes on reams of paper. Still I didn't care what Zaren thought, I only wanted his...Karl's...approval.

"I've never seen such colour before....a flame burning in the pale morning sky. I dream of you."

"I dream of you."

He flushed red and dropped his hand away.

"Since we both do there's nothing to be ashamed of." I reached for the book.

"I don't think I can take much more of your reading. Just sit and I'll read to you.' He opened the pages and began to read. His voice was melodious and hypnotic. His voice could draw pictures in the air.

The Priestess had to kick me out when night came. I reluctantly trudged down the stairs. Yana stood there, dressed in her soldiering armour. She had been inducted into the Garrison the week before and my application was being decided upon now. "Tell me it ain't so."

"Uh?"

She wiped her hand dramatically over her face, "I was going to invite you to the tavern with the rest of the squadron but I think it would be useless."

"What are you talking about?"

"You're in Love."

"You've been in love before, lots of times."

"Have you bedded him yet?"

"In the temple?"

"Simple question."

"I've thought about it."

Yana shook her head, "I'll wager three gold coins that you'll be married to him before your next birthday."

"I never said I wanted to marry him."

"Before your next birthday."


I smiled sadly in the fading light. Karl and I were married one week after my birthday. Yana wouldn't take the coin back insisting that it be a wedding present and a gift for our first born. Ten months later I was in labour with Kyle....now I would have to give up both of them.
Night had fallen completely when my next visitor came. High Elder Moko Longsword walked into the cell and looked around with an critical eye. "Well I should have guessed that something like this would happen to you sooner or later."

"Evening, High Elder." I stood and bowed my head to the smaller woman. "What brings you here?"

"Your stupid antics. By the Goddess Phara, were you even thinking when you did this?" I opened my mouth but the gleam in her eyes warned me to keep quiet. This was the High Elder talking not my mother. "Ever since you were small, you were always challenging me, testing the bounds you could cross. I thought, I hoped, that you would have learned and respected the reasons for authority when you entered the Guard."


"I'll have you know that your appointment as Captain was something that I did not agree with. I knew that you would be challenging the Council's laws one day. I just never expected you to do it in such a dramatic fashion." Moko crossed the room with all of the confidence I remembered in her step of younger days. Then she seated herself on the small narrow bunk I was forced to sleep on. "Do you even realize what you have done?"

"I had to act quickly...."

"I did not give you permission to speak!" I closed my mouth and bowed my head to stare at the stone floor. "You don't even have a notion of the magnitude of your crime. Then I'll inform you of it and you'd better listen, because I never plan on repeating it again."


"In the days before the Fire, men ruled the land and women were the helpless. This had gone on for years and years, for countless generations. Finally the land could not take any more of man's abuse and She began to turn on him. The ground beneath his feet began to shake with more violence than he had ever encountered before. His buildings fell to the ground in rubble. His crops failed and hunger set upon the land. Then the Goddess was born. Her birthing Fire ripped across the land, burning everything that man had touched and tainted. The metal buildings that remained were twisted by her hand. The huge towns where they lived were destroyed. Only the women survived in large numbers - only our Grand Elders. They are the ones who wrote our history. They are the ones who recorded, even in the shadow of the Goddess's wrath why She was born. She was born because man would not listen to wisdom. Man would not allow anyone else's opinion to interfere with his progress...But then you know all this rhetoric, Phara. You went to the Temple when you were younger."

I said nothing. All the High Elder had told me was things that were drilled into our heads before we could even pick up a sword.

"Now, you are ready to hear what really happened."

I could feel my curiosity peak.

"The forbidden histories say that the Fire that wiped out the land was a man made thing. Man had learned of terrible powers, of weapons of war so deadly that they could kill villages without even seeing them. The land's shaking set this weapon off. Just one...but it was enough to start Fires all over the face of the land."

Moko met my eyes, " A high ranking officer of the army thought that it was another land that sent the Fire. He sent the rest of the weapons attacking. One weapon could have killed hundreds of people and it could have ended there...but he had been trained to send the other weapons away and even when his Commanders told him no, he decided to do what he had been trained for. He knew what was best for everyone.
That one man caused the Fire that killed so many of our ancestors. One man caused the Winter that followed that took even more lives....and now one woman of power decides that she knows he best for everyone."

"I didn't know..."


"Do you understand why the Council is so strict with its protectors and why we question every action?" Moko stood up and stared at me. "Do you understand what you have done?"

"I've validated his actions," my voice was hollow.

"You've undermined the authority of the Council. Your success with returning these poor men to their families has only endeared you more to those families you have reunited. We have twenty petitions each longer than my arm demanding that you be released and re-instated to your position. You have turned into a hero and you have set us back on that path of destruction that this time no woman or man may survive."

"By the Goddess, I didn't think along this line."

Moko stood up, "I will tell you what you will do. The Council cannot condemn you now that you have been made into such a goodly hero. We will re-instate you as Captain and you will graciously receive all of the gifts that the families of the rescued men have sent. Then you will resign your commission and you will leave the village for a year."

"I'm banished?" I staggered over to the bunk and sat heavily on it.


"This is nothing to what the council was voting on doing before the petitions and the various ambassadors from other villages arrived to plead your case. You are banished for one year." She headed for the door, "I'll keep Kyle and Karl until you return."

"Mother..."

"This is the best that I can do. If Miin Stalker finds out that I used my influence to sway the rest of the Council I could be voted out. No, you can live comfortably on the rewards that were sent to you."

"And after the year is over...am I to be re-instated?"

"No. Your life as a Sandshorian Guard is over. You stay here until the messenger comes for you tomorrow. Then you do as I told you and you will be ship bound by nightfall. That is all that I can do." She turned and headed back down the stairwell.

"Mother." Moko kept walking down the stairwell. "Mother..."

Now alone, I felt angry and betrayed but most of all ashamed. I have given my word of honour to defend Sandshore to my best ability. Then I simply rent my honour into shreds, along with my calling, my son and my marriage. Tears burned behind my eyes, and for the first time in fourteen years, I let them fall freely, weeping for what had been and what now must be.