The Sea Noose
folder
Original - Misc › Non-Fiction/True Stories/Autobiographical
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
28
Views:
2,379
Reviews:
8
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Original - Misc › Non-Fiction/True Stories/Autobiographical
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
28
Views:
2,379
Reviews:
8
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
This is a work of non fiction. Where possible - and where appropriate - permission has been granted from any people or their descendants to be included in this story. The Author holds exclusive rights to this work. Unauthorized duplication is prohibited.
Chapter 6
The Sea Noose
I took a deep, shaky breath and closed my eyes. I pulled my legs to my chest, wrapping my arms around myself and rests my head on my knees. I continued taking deep breaths, trying to calm my racing heart. I was so focused on my breathing, I didn't hear the knocking on the door, or did I hear the noise of the car pull up. I didn't notice, either when the door opened. I did notice, however when some one put their hand on my shouldr gently.
I jumped and looked up, seeing the warm, concerned dark green eyes of Cian looking back at me. My tears threatened to fall and my throat closed up. He understood and sat next to me, opening his arms up to me. I hiccuped and crawled into his lap, his warms wrapping around my waist as my arms wrapped around his neck. He rubbed my back gently, in small, soothing circles.
“It's alrigh', Kassy. It's alrigh'.” his accent was thick again. I cried softly into his neck, the memory bringing up years of bottle up pain. He continued trying to sooth me, letting me cry out my pain in my own time.
I kept crying for a few more minutes, the comfort from his presence helping me calm faster. I took deep breaths, hiccuping here and there and pulled back slight so I could look into his eyes.
“What're you doing here?” my voice was stronger than I thought it would be. He smiled softly.
“You said you wanted me to visit again.” I smiled back softly.
“Yeah, I did.” he cupped my cheek and gently brushed away my tears, drying my face. I sniffled and closed my eyes, enjoying the soft, loving touch. I opened them when he kissed my cheek.
“Thank you.”
“For what, Kassy?” he stroked my cheek once more, then pulled me closer, tightening his arms around me.
“For comforting me.” my voice was small. I tucked my head underneath his chin and snuggled down into his welcoming embrace.
“It's nothing, Kassy. I want you to be happy. I don't want you to remember what he did to you.” I stilled.
“How... how did you know I was thinking about him?” he started rubbing my back again.
“Because he's the only thing I've seen you break down over, Kassy.” his voice was gentle and warm. I relaxed down into him once more. He kissed the top of my head.
“If I may ask...” I gently nuzzled his chest.
“Ask me what?” still, he hesitated.
“What made you... what made you think of him? You hadn't thought of him for so long... you don't have to answer if you don't want. It isn't my place to pry.” I smiled softly, though he didn't see me.
“Cian, you do have a right to pry and I don't mind answering.” I felt him relax slightly. “I found the picture I had drawn so many years ago, from the first time he took me to the ocean. You know the one I'm talking about. I was so proud of it when I showed you.” he nodded.
“Yes, though you never showed it to me again after that first time.” I sighed.
“That's because he threatened me if I did. He thought that I had told you what he did to me. He didn't believe me that I was showing you something that I had drawn. Even when I tried to show him the drawing, he wouldn't listen to me, you know he never did. After I saw the drawing I went to sleep. When I woke up it was just so cold, it reminded me of that first winter he took me.” my throat was closing up, fresh tears filling my eyes. He tightened his grip further, kissing the top of my head. I took a deep breath and continued.
“I came in here and started a fire, leaving to go get myself some tea,” I pointed to my mug sitting on the table, “and I came back in here. I was watching the wood burn and it made me think of how I was like the log being burned.”
“I'm not sure I understand, Kassy.” his voice was soft.
“I mean... I'm like a log of firewood. He is like the flames. In the beginning, when he first started... touching me, it was like the flames flickering against the wood, teasing it, though not yet burning it. When the wood finally cracks in one spot, the flames stop teasing and start burning the wood mercilessly.” I paused, not sure if I had made my point clear.
“I think I'm starting to understand you now, Kassy.” I nodded and closed my eyes.
“I'm glad someone does.” my voice was barely a whisper, but I was sure he heard me.
He continued to hold me into the night, his arms never releasing me, though I didn't wish to be released. I felt safe, warm, loved... and I didn't want to leave.
I took a deep, shaky breath and closed my eyes. I pulled my legs to my chest, wrapping my arms around myself and rests my head on my knees. I continued taking deep breaths, trying to calm my racing heart. I was so focused on my breathing, I didn't hear the knocking on the door, or did I hear the noise of the car pull up. I didn't notice, either when the door opened. I did notice, however when some one put their hand on my shouldr gently.
I jumped and looked up, seeing the warm, concerned dark green eyes of Cian looking back at me. My tears threatened to fall and my throat closed up. He understood and sat next to me, opening his arms up to me. I hiccuped and crawled into his lap, his warms wrapping around my waist as my arms wrapped around his neck. He rubbed my back gently, in small, soothing circles.
“It's alrigh', Kassy. It's alrigh'.” his accent was thick again. I cried softly into his neck, the memory bringing up years of bottle up pain. He continued trying to sooth me, letting me cry out my pain in my own time.
I kept crying for a few more minutes, the comfort from his presence helping me calm faster. I took deep breaths, hiccuping here and there and pulled back slight so I could look into his eyes.
“What're you doing here?” my voice was stronger than I thought it would be. He smiled softly.
“You said you wanted me to visit again.” I smiled back softly.
“Yeah, I did.” he cupped my cheek and gently brushed away my tears, drying my face. I sniffled and closed my eyes, enjoying the soft, loving touch. I opened them when he kissed my cheek.
“Thank you.”
“For what, Kassy?” he stroked my cheek once more, then pulled me closer, tightening his arms around me.
“For comforting me.” my voice was small. I tucked my head underneath his chin and snuggled down into his welcoming embrace.
“It's nothing, Kassy. I want you to be happy. I don't want you to remember what he did to you.” I stilled.
“How... how did you know I was thinking about him?” he started rubbing my back again.
“Because he's the only thing I've seen you break down over, Kassy.” his voice was gentle and warm. I relaxed down into him once more. He kissed the top of my head.
“If I may ask...” I gently nuzzled his chest.
“Ask me what?” still, he hesitated.
“What made you... what made you think of him? You hadn't thought of him for so long... you don't have to answer if you don't want. It isn't my place to pry.” I smiled softly, though he didn't see me.
“Cian, you do have a right to pry and I don't mind answering.” I felt him relax slightly. “I found the picture I had drawn so many years ago, from the first time he took me to the ocean. You know the one I'm talking about. I was so proud of it when I showed you.” he nodded.
“Yes, though you never showed it to me again after that first time.” I sighed.
“That's because he threatened me if I did. He thought that I had told you what he did to me. He didn't believe me that I was showing you something that I had drawn. Even when I tried to show him the drawing, he wouldn't listen to me, you know he never did. After I saw the drawing I went to sleep. When I woke up it was just so cold, it reminded me of that first winter he took me.” my throat was closing up, fresh tears filling my eyes. He tightened his grip further, kissing the top of my head. I took a deep breath and continued.
“I came in here and started a fire, leaving to go get myself some tea,” I pointed to my mug sitting on the table, “and I came back in here. I was watching the wood burn and it made me think of how I was like the log being burned.”
“I'm not sure I understand, Kassy.” his voice was soft.
“I mean... I'm like a log of firewood. He is like the flames. In the beginning, when he first started... touching me, it was like the flames flickering against the wood, teasing it, though not yet burning it. When the wood finally cracks in one spot, the flames stop teasing and start burning the wood mercilessly.” I paused, not sure if I had made my point clear.
“I think I'm starting to understand you now, Kassy.” I nodded and closed my eyes.
“I'm glad someone does.” my voice was barely a whisper, but I was sure he heard me.
He continued to hold me into the night, his arms never releasing me, though I didn't wish to be released. I felt safe, warm, loved... and I didn't want to leave.