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November 26, 2006 at 12:00 AM
omgosh!!!! melissa that is absolutely the cutest story ever !!YAY!!!! :D im super happy now i cant wait to see you tomorow :D i love you way much
luvs christie
luvs christie
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November 23, 2006 at 12:00 AM
omgosh melissa this is the most amazing story ive ever read!!!! and its going to keep going??? wow ...just an idea but maybe you stould like have him propose
or something :D
???
ily
xoxo
christie
or something :D
???
ily
xoxo
christie
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November 11, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Kin-ky! Haha...the thought of that ripped Cian in little girly panties is too hot for words. And way to go with the previous chapter, too. I like that their relationship has to take it a little different direction because of how she's remembering her father.
One line that cracked me up, though I'm not entirely sure if it was intentional, was when she was giving him that HJ, and she needed to "concentrate on the matter at hand." lol.
Keep it up!
~Enthusiasto
PS: Thank you for reviewing "Small Spaces" again. I'm slowly chugging away at it.
One line that cracked me up, though I'm not entirely sure if it was intentional, was when she was giving him that HJ, and she needed to "concentrate on the matter at hand." lol.
Keep it up!
~Enthusiasto
PS: Thank you for reviewing "Small Spaces" again. I'm slowly chugging away at it.
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November 8, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Me again :D
I know this is for NaNoWriMo, but I have to ask...where are you going with this story? I like the interaction between Kassie and Vitas. The setting is very serene. But so far all I've gotten is the flashback chapter in which she was abused, a little bit of sleeping, some artwork, playing with the dog. The language is beautiful, but I'm curious how things are going to turn out.
Guess what I'm saying is...hurry the hell up Cian!!! Come back soon! lol.
Yours in reviewing,
~Enthusiasto
I know this is for NaNoWriMo, but I have to ask...where are you going with this story? I like the interaction between Kassie and Vitas. The setting is very serene. But so far all I've gotten is the flashback chapter in which she was abused, a little bit of sleeping, some artwork, playing with the dog. The language is beautiful, but I'm curious how things are going to turn out.
Guess what I'm saying is...hurry the hell up Cian!!! Come back soon! lol.
Yours in reviewing,
~Enthusiasto
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November 5, 2006 at 12:00 AM
This chapter kind of made me drowsy. Your main character sure does love to sleep! Is that because she's suffering from depression? Curious...Wish I had a dog like Vitas. (And a hot Irishman, like Cian. ;) )
Keep it up, and I'll keep reviewing!
~E
Keep it up, and I'll keep reviewing!
~E
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November 4, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Wow, here I am, reading a story with all of this beautifully serene language, and then BAM! The contrast is nearly as brutal as the content. Nicely done.
One small thing: a few places in Chapter 5 you used the word lied. As in, "She lied down." It's really jarring. I think it's supposed to be, "She lay down," or something like that. But "lied down," just sounds incorrect. Hell, maybe I'm wrong. :P
Keep up the good work!
~Enthusiasto
One small thing: a few places in Chapter 5 you used the word lied. As in, "She lied down." It's really jarring. I think it's supposed to be, "She lay down," or something like that. But "lied down," just sounds incorrect. Hell, maybe I'm wrong. :P
Keep up the good work!
~Enthusiasto
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November 3, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Hello again, back for Chapter 2 ~
This story is very interesting. It has a soothing effect on me as I read it, especially the last few lines in this chapter as the main character is singing to the ocean.
In the first couple of sentences, there are repetitions, the same kind that I noticed in the first chapter. Perhaps that is your style, so I won't mention them again.
Hope to read more of this!
~Enthusiasto
This story is very interesting. It has a soothing effect on me as I read it, especially the last few lines in this chapter as the main character is singing to the ocean.
In the first couple of sentences, there are repetitions, the same kind that I noticed in the first chapter. Perhaps that is your style, so I won't mention them again.
Hope to read more of this!
~Enthusiasto
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November 2, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Oh, I like the description here already! A few things I want to say:
I love the title, and that it fits with the idea that the sea air "hangs like a noose." However, in that same sentance, you used "hanging," and that seemed to be too repetitious to give the metaphore enough impact. Also, I think it was the end of the second or third paragraph, there is an "it's" that should be an "its." Just little nit-picky things, though.
On the whole, I'm curious to see where this goes. Will Cian be the love interest? If so, that's an awful quick start. It'd be nice if the main character (who seems very tranquil. I love the description of her sitting in the chair, almost asleep) had a little more introduction before this spiffy Irishman came into the picture.
Good luck with NaNoWriMo! Write on!
~Enthusiasto
I love the title, and that it fits with the idea that the sea air "hangs like a noose." However, in that same sentance, you used "hanging," and that seemed to be too repetitious to give the metaphore enough impact. Also, I think it was the end of the second or third paragraph, there is an "it's" that should be an "its." Just little nit-picky things, though.
On the whole, I'm curious to see where this goes. Will Cian be the love interest? If so, that's an awful quick start. It'd be nice if the main character (who seems very tranquil. I love the description of her sitting in the chair, almost asleep) had a little more introduction before this spiffy Irishman came into the picture.
Good luck with NaNoWriMo! Write on!
~Enthusiasto