Brad and Elliott

BRAD POV



I pull up to Elliott's apartment. It's an old building in a shitty part of town, and for a second I seriously consider just honking the horn and waiting for him to come down. But already I can hear my mother's voice in my head going on about manners, etiquette and all that nonsense. I step out of the car, lock all of the doors and walk to the front door. I look at the list of names next to the column of buzzer buttons, and this is when I realize I don't know his last name. I don't know Eli's last name. Isn't that something you should know about the person you’re kind of dating? Just as I'm thinking that, Eli opens the door.



"Hey, I saw you pull up. Thought I'd come down." He looked good, he kind of always does.



"What's your last name?" He looks at me as if I'm from another planet, but responds anyways.



"Wyche. What's it to you?"



"Just curious."



XXXXXXXXXX



"Maybe we shouldn't go." I say as Eli fiddles with the car radio before answering.



"Your mom's expecting us, Brad. We can't just not show up."



"Yeah, I think we can."



"Why are you so worried about this?" He looks at me questioningly for a moment before turning his attention back to the radio.



"My parents are insane."



"Everyone says that about their own parents. And I've already met your mom. She seems like a nice lady."



"She was making a good first impression. Believe me, she won't hold back tonight. And I'll bet you a hundred dollars that she invited a bunch of other people. My mother doesn't know how to have a simple dinner. Everything's a production with her."



"So, I'll be meeting the whole family?"



"Most likely."



"Good to know."



I turn onto the street my parent's house is on and my suspicions are confirmed. There are three cars in the drive way. The street is lined with various cars and the front lawn has a few cars parked on it. I guess they ran out of parking space.



"I think I'm nervous now." I look at Eli and his eyes were focused on the house and the obvious party going on inside of it.



"You know, maybe this will be a good thing. There'll be so many people. We can just blend into the background, and if we're lucky, we'll be able to sneak out after an hour or so." I shut the car off and we both step out and walk to the front door. "Ready?"



"As I'll ever be." I ring the door bell, and I can hear my mother telling everyone to "shush." Then the lights get turned off.



"You know, I think we're walking into a surprise party." My mom swings open the door, the lights were turn on and everyone shouts "Surprise!"



"Hi, Mom." I give her a hug hello.



"You don't sound surprised."



"The next time you want to surprise me, you might want to make sure there aren't cars all over the front lawn."



"Will do." She turns to Eli. "So, Elliott, how are you dear?"



"Fine, Mrs. Keith."



"Good, good. Let me introduce you to everyone." She steps back, giving Eli and I a chance to enter. I take a look around. There has to be at least thirty people in the front room alone. I can only imagine what the other rooms would look like.



"You're not really going to introduce him to everyone, Mom?"



"Of course I am. How can he become a part of the family if he doesn't know the family?" She loops her arm in Eli's and starts walking. And I follow behind them. What else can I do?



XXXXXXXXXX



She starts with my uncles. I have eight. Most of them are okay. My crazy gay uncle Tony is another story though. I think he did too many drugs back in the day. He's always going on about something or other, completely incomprehensible, and he has this habit of hitting on every single guy he meets over the age of 16. Not that he'd be able to do anything if the occasion arose. Not much was rising on Tony nowadays, if you know what I mean. During a drunken party several years ago, he announced that he had erectile dysfunction. He refuses to take Viagra, says it would mess with his head. It seems a little late for that precautionary measure though.



After introducing Eli to every one of my uncles except for Tony, (even she had the good sense to avoid that) my mother drags him to meet my four aunts, and this is why I think my mother is insane. There's no way a person can turn out normal with this many siblings. Twelve brothers and sisters, no kid can survive that and end up a normal functioning member of society. From the aunts, my mother drags Eli to the cousins and friends and if I would had seen the next person she was dragging us to, I would have stopped her. But I don’t see who she’s dragging us to because my spoiled brat of a niece distracts me. She asks me for twenty dollars. I refuse so she kicks me in the shin. Just like her fucking mother. A pain in my ass.



"Eli, this is Scott. He's a friend of the family." I'm hoping she just leaves it at that. But of course she doesn't. "He and Brad used to date. We were just so sure that they would end up together, but Scott finished med school and got a position out of state. Brad wanted to stay here, close to the family. So they had to call it quits." That wasn't the only reason we called it quits though. Yeah, like I really want to stay close to these psychos. The main reason was Scott couldn't keep his dick in his pants. Just as that thought passes though my mind, I feel someone grab my arm. It is my older sister.



"Brad, Brad. I have a girl I want you to meet." I've told her at least a thousand times that I am in fact gay. I am not attracted to females. She just refuses to believe it.



"I don't want to meet any more girls you think are perfect for me, Janet. I'm here with Eli." I turn around to introduce her to Eli but he's gone, as is my mother.



"With who? I don't see anyone. That's terrible of you, Brad. Making up people just so you don't have to meet my nice frie--" I interrupt her in order to shut her up. It would have gone on for hours.



"Fine. Where is she?"



"Right over here." She pulls me toward the kitchen.



XXXXXXXXXX



It takes me over thirty minutes to get away from the claws of Sheila, Janet's perfect, great, overweight, bitch of a friend. I search the house for Eli, checking every room, being stopped by a different relative here and there. I finally find him in the guest bedroom on the second floor with Scott. Eli is drunk off his ass and talking about what I assume was our last date.



"…and he thought we had already had sex, but we didn't, cause he was drunk, so we haven't had sex, which sucks, because I want to have sex, and you've already had sex with him--"



"I think that's enough, Eli." He jumps up when he hears my voice and smiles.



"Brad!" He throws himself at me, wrapping his arms around my neck. He then moves as if he’s about to kiss me but stops, the smile on his face quickly turning into a frown. "I think I'm gonna be sick."



We make it to the bathroom just in time. Eli leans over the toilet and gets rid of everything in his stomach. I sit behind him, rubbing his back as he heaves. I wait until the throwing up turns into dry heaves and then coughs and finally just spitting before I grab a towel to give to Eli. He stares at the towel and looks at me blankly, so I take the towel to wipe his mouth. Then I dig through the cabinet space underneath the sink for the paper cups I know my mother keeps there. I fill one halfway and hand it to Eli.



"Wanna rinse you're mouth out?"



"Wanna kiss me?"



"Yeah, vomit's a real turn on." Eli turns the cup up, gargling the water and spitting it into the toilet. I flush it and sit down on the floor, pressing my back against the tub. Eli scoots over, sitting next to me, and rests his head against my shoulder. We sit there in silence for a little bit before Eli speaks up, his voice sounding tired and sleepy.



"So…are you in love with me yet?" I sit there on the bathroom floor in the middle of my mother's extravagant party and think about the lunches Eli and I had together and the dates we went on and tonight and…



"Yeah, I think so."



The End