Even Angels Fall

Sarah went to work on Monday feeling incredibly happy, if a little tired. She had gone to Zip’s condo the night before as planned, and they had stayed up until one watching TV, talking and laughing. Even though they had both agreed – albeit reluctantly, at least on Sarah’s part – that they were just friends, she couldn’t remember having connected with anyone that quickly in her whole life.

The day rapidly began to drag, though. Sarah and Zip had plans to hang out again that night, and by lunchtime, she was counting the minutes until she would see him. ‘This is getting obsessive,’ Sarah thought to herself as she picked up her bag and got ready to run out and grab a sandwich.

“Hey,” Chris’s head popped into Sarah’s office at just that moment to interrupt her thoughts, a friendly smile on his face. “I just stopped by to see how you are doing today after the disastrous date you had on Friday. Man, what a loser you got stuck with!”

Laughing lightly, Sarah could barely believe it had only been that past Friday that she had gone on her date with Chris. After spending nearly the rest of the weekend with Zip, Friday seemed like a distant memory. “He WAS a loser – boring and a terrible conversationalist,” she joked back. “But at least he was good in bed.”

Chuckling, Chris stepped into the office. “Well, that’s always a plus,” he told Sarah. “Anyway, I also came by to see if you wanted to get a quick bite. You know, to make sure there’s no awkwardness between us after everything.”

“There’s none,” Sarah assured Chris honestly. How could there be, after the wonderful time she had spent with Zip the past two nights? “And lunch sounds great. How about we make it my treat? After all, you did pay for dinner on our date on Friday and you actually didn’t get any.”

“Sshh…” Chris put his index finger to his lips and pretended to look around, as if seeing if anyone had heard Sarah. “Don’t say stuff like that out loud. I have a reputation to protect at this company.” Putting his hand down, he smirked at Sarah. “And by reputation, I mean if anyone knows we went on a date, they might not think I’m gay, as everyone here does.”

Giggling, Sarah shook her head. How lucky could she have gotten in one weekend? After months of making no friends that were actually her own – unlike Joseph and Lianna, and Tavian and Madison, who were actually Eddie’s friends – she had gotten to know both Zip and Chris completely on her own. “Come on, stud,” she said to Chris as they left the office together. “And if anyone questions why we’re having lunch together, I’ll just tell them that I’m a fag hag.”

-----

Zip stared at the cell phone ringing in his hand, and felt like his blood was running cold. Why was she calling him? “Hello?” he answered nervously, unsure how he had actually found his voice.

“Hey,” Sin greeted Zip, seemingly unaware of his discomfort. “How are you doing?”

‘Is she testing me?’ Zip wondered to himself. ‘Is she giving me an opportunity to come clean, before deciding whether to chop off my balls with pruning shears or just play a rousing game of mini-golf with them while they are still attached to my body?’

“Hey, Sin,” Zip tried to keep his normal, unaffected tone. “I’m fine. What’s up?”
There was a silent pause that lasted for a few moments – but to Zip it seemed like forever – before Sin continued. “I’m good. But are you sure you’re okay? You sound weird.” Suddenly, Sin laughed to herself. “Wait, am I interrupting you with a… companion?”

If Sin was joking about Zip’s normal indiscretions with women, he decided there was no way she knew about the time he had spent with Sarah that weekend. “Surprisingly, no,” he suddenly felt more relaxed, taking a seat on his couch and lighting a cigarette. He had really cut down over the past few days – mostly because he could tell Sarah didn’t like being around the smoke. “I do need my rest occasionally, Sin. Even I can’t spend ALL my time fulfilling the fantasies of my adoring fans.”

“You are gross,” Sin laughed. “Listen, I wasn’t calling to discuss your sex life – surprising as that may be to you. I actually just wanted to check with you about band stuff. See, Eddie and I thought that it would be nice if we gave Lianna and Joseph a surprise weekend away together alone before the baby is born. I just wanted to make sure, before we made reservations at a hotel, that the band didn’t have any meetings or anything scheduled for next weekend.”

“No,” Zip told Sin, and then paused. It was strange to be talking to Sin like this – having her talk about ‘Eddie and I’ as one entity; having her speaking to Zip as just another friend; but most disturbingly, having Zip not be bothered, because he had actually spent the whole morning thinking about another girl… And that girl being Sarah. “No,” Zip repeated, pulling out of his silence. “We’ve got nothing scheduled. And that’s a really cool idea. I’m sure Joey and Lianna will love it.”

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Sin’s voice was gentler than it normally was.

“Of course.”

“Zip,” Sin was clearly figuring out how to word what she was thinking. “I know things between you and me lately… with Eddie and all… I know it’s been weird. But, I just want you to know, I do want to be your friend. We have a lot of history, and not all of it sucked,” she chuckled at this before continuing. “But seriously, if you have anything going on in your life that you need someone to talk to about… you know I’m here, right?”

“You going soft on me Sin?” Zip tried to joke, feeling an unbelievable wave of guilt move over him. After the way he had treated Sin years ago, and then having been so selfish when she had finally found a guy who loved her and treated her right, she still wanted to be his friend. ‘Of course she wouldn’t, if she had any idea that you spent the whole weekend just a hair away from deflowering her boyfriend’s little sister.’

“Whatever,” Sin replied, still seeming unconvinced by Zip. “Keep being a closed-off dick, if you want. I’ll still be here if you ever want to talk.”

Closing his eyes, Zip felt a headache coming on. “I appreciate it,” he tried to sound nonchalant. “But I’m fine. Nothing a few beers won’t fix.”

“And a rowdy good time with whatever girl is coming to your place tonight?” Sin teased, unaware, of course, of who was actually coming over to Zip’s condo that evening. “Well, whoever she is, I hope she gets you out of this funk. You’re Zip. As long as your still rich, universally worshipped, and getting laid regularly, you’re supposed to be this good-natured – if morally corrupt – person.”

“And I am both,” Zip forced himself to chuckle, although a nauseated feeling was building in his stomach. “But thanks again, Sin. I do appreciate the concern. And I’m sure I’ll see you soon.”

“I hope so,” Sin told Zip honestly. “I know it’s probably strange, but I would like to have you and Eddie get to know each other. Who knows? You may actually find you have things in common.”

‘Like his sister,’ Zip thought miserably.

“Cool. But listen, I’ve got to jet,” Zip wanted nothing more at that moment than to NOT be talking to Sin anymore. “I’ll give you a call next week or something.”

“Okay,” Sin reluctantly agreed. “Take care of yourself, Zip.”

“Yeah, you too,” Zip said, hanging up the phone and hoping to feel relieved. Instead, he just felt another wave of guilt move over him.

“Sin wants to be my friend. Sin wants me and Eddie to get to know each other,” Zip said aloud to himself, throwing his head back into the couch cushions. “And all YOU want is to see Eddie’s little sister naked. You ARE as big an asshole as Sin always said you were.”

-----

“Hi,” Sarah greeted Zip with a big smile as he opened the door to the condo for her later that day. Her smile quickly faded, though, when she saw the look on Zip’s face. “Are you okay? You don’t look like yourself.”

The entire afternoon had been spent by Zip wondering what he should do when Sarah arrived that night. Should he tell her that he liked her, but he didn’t want to fuck up his friendship with Sin? Should he just act like a dick, so that Sarah was the one to take off? But as soon as he saw the concerned look in her eyes, all his resolve melted. “Nothing’s wrong,” he said, opening the door wider for her and giving her a grin. “Come in.”

Sighing softly in relief, Sarah entered the condo. She had been in such a good mood all day, she would have been crushed if Zip had changed his mind and didn’t want to see her. As they entered the living room and took a seat on the couch, though, Zip looked at Sarah the way he had a few times over the weekend – a way that made her face flush and her stomach tumble – and she relaxed.

“So how was your day?” Sarah asked, settling herself. “Another round of being lazy lay-about good-for-nothing?”

“Hey,” Zip pretended to be stern. “I serve a tremendous purpose in our society. I teach the youth of today about the importance of drinking, and body modification, and promiscuous sex.” At that last one, Zip noticed Sarah’s cheeks flare up a little more, and he felt dumb. “Anyway, how was your day?” he asked, quickly trying to change the subject.

“I was a little tired this morning,” Sarah admitted. “But it was worth it. I had a great time last night. And then I went for a big lunch with my co-worker, Chris, and it got me reinvigorated for the afternoon.”

“Chris?” Zip asked suddenly. “The guy you went on a date with?” He couldn’t believe the tone of his own voice. He knew how he sounded, and he knew Sarah was smart enough to figure it out – he was jealous. “I mean, wasn’t it uncomfortable, after the date crashed and burned?” he finished lamely.

Biting her lip, Sarah studied Zip’s face for a moment. She had been sure, if just for a second, that there was a tinge of jealousy in his voice. ‘Don’t be an ass,’ Sarah chastised herself. ‘Zip made it plenty clear yesterday that he’s not interested in you in THAT way. Don’t go making up stories in your head…’

“It was fine,” Sarah finally told Zip. “Chris is really laid-back about the whole thing. And he’s a really nice guy. I’m actually glad we went on the date, because it gave me a chance to know him one-on-one. At work, he’s usually so quiet, but when you get him alone, he can be a riot.”

Zip knew it was stupid that he didn’t like the idea of Sarah laughing at another man’s jokes, but he couldn’t help it. All weekend, he had reveled in her sarcastic wit and the way she let out a soft giggle whenever he teased her. For some reason, he had come to believe that that laugh was meant solely for him. “Well, I’m glad,” Zip lied.

It took a little while to get over the initial uneasiness, but within half an hour, Zip and Sarah were back to joking as they had been for the past two days. Somehow, they got into a conversation where they were asking things about one another. Neither person was holding back, and it was getting pretty outrageous after a while.

“Okay,” Sarah said to Zip. “I have a question for you. What’s your real name? I mean, I’m guessing your parents didn’t name you ‘Zip’… or did they?”

Smirking, Zip shook his head. “Oh, no,” he told Sarah. “No one gets to know that. Not even the band knows my real name. Sorry, Missy, you’re going to have to go on knowing me as just plain ‘Zip Kopti’.”

Frowning, Sarah wrinkled her brow. “No fair,” she crossed her arms over her chest. “I’ve answered everything you asked.”

“I’m sorry,” Zip said to Sarah with a grin. “But I’m saving that one. I think I decided I’ll only tell one person in my life. It’ll be like I’m a chick from the fifties, and my name is my virginity.” Suddenly, the room grew painfully silent. “Not that there’s anything wrong with waiting to have sex…”

Rolling her eyes, Sarah had to laugh at Zip’s pitiful attempt at covering his tracks, even through her embarrassment. “This coming from the guy that admitted, ten minutes ago, to having received blowjobs from five different girls in one night,” Sarah said. “Come on, dude. Just because you figured out that I’m a virgin doesn’t mean you have to treat me like I’m also retarded.”

Biting back a laugh, Zip just shook his head. Sarah was amazing. “I just know that, most of the time, I’m an asshole about shit,” he admitted to her. “I just wanted you to know that I’m not going to make fun of you or anything for it. I actually think it’s cool.”

“It’s not cool,” Sarah replied, feeling her face flush once again. “It’s not like I made this deep moral or religious decision to wait. It just hasn’t happened.”

Zip didn’t know what to say just then; too much was going through his mind. ‘It could,’ was the first reaction he had. ‘I want it to.’

“Anyway,” Sarah was too embarrassed to be concerned with how to read the expression on Zip’s face. “If you aren’t even going to bother to tell me your real name, I am CERTAINLY not going to waste my time talking to you about why I haven’t had sex up to this point.”

Letting out a soft sigh, Zip nodded. “Fair enough,” he told her.

“So what’s your favorite food?”

“What?” Zip was taken by the abrupt change in subject matter.

“Come on,” Sarah wanted nothing more than to let go of the humiliating moment she had just shared with one of this year’s People’s “Sexiest People of the Year”. She had two choices: die, or change the subject. She chose the latter. “You’re rich; you eat at the fanciest restaurants in the world; what, Mr. Rock Star, is your favorite food?”

“Well,” Zip felt the corners of his mouth turn up, realizing that it was okay (and probably for the best) if the conversation turned a corner at this moment. “This is off the record, okay? I can’t let this go public or anything, but… homemade mac and cheese. I mean, I’ve only had it once – when the band was playing in San Francisco last year, and Joey’s mom made us dinner – but, damn! That stuff was awesome.”

Unable to contain her surprise, Sarah burst into giggles. She was talking to a man who had eaten at dozens of four-star restaurants, whose green room was regularly catered by all-star chefs, and who could probably afford to buy New England if he were really looking for a good lobster tail. But his favorite food?

“Mac and cheese?” Sarah repeated, sounding skeptical.

“No,” Zip shook his head emphatically. “HOMEMADE mac and cheese. Totally different.”

‘This is what attracts me to you,’ Sarah wanted to say aloud. ‘Because beneath that cocky, arrogant, over-sexed façade is a cocky, arrogant, over-sexed… sweetheart.’

“I make a rocking mac and cheese,” Sarah couldn’t stop herself from saying. Trying to gain back some semblance of control, she smirked at Zip. “Of course, I don’t think you would ever be worth me wasting my time making it for you.”

“You’re evil,” Zip shot back. “I’ve had girls threaten to bring my personal life to the press; girls tell me I’m a horrible person; even girls threaten to destroy my most precious of biological parts. But no girl has been cruel enough to tell me that she can make a good homemade mac and cheese, and not deliver.”

Throwing her head back, Sarah laughed. Zip couldn’t believe how the sound managed to resound through his body, quivering down his spine. Watching Sarah laugh, he tried to remember that this was actually only the third day that they had spent together. Somehow, he felt like he had known her forever.

The night went on with continued jabs and jokes. Around eleven, when Sarah said it was time for her to go, Zip fought the urge to ask her to stay the night. ‘That’s not what we’re about,’ he told himself as he walked her to the door of the condo. ‘We’re friends. You made that ground rule,’ he reminded himself.

‘You asshole.’

-----

Sarah was pleasantly surprised when Zip called her on Wednesday afternoon and asked her to stop by for dinner again that night. Once more, they spent the night bantering and laughing. She couldn’t remember enjoying spending time with a man that much before in her life.

On Thursday, Sarah and Zip hadn’t made any plans, and Sarah returned home feeling sad for the first time that week. Suddenly, though, she had an idea. Putting on her pajamas, she smiled to herself as she settled on the couch. She couldn’t wait until the next day.

-----

It had been forty-three hours since Zip had seen Sarah. ‘You are such a loser,’ he told himself as he walked aimlessly through his condo, puffing on a cigarette. ‘Seriously – you’re counting the HOURS since you’ve seen this girl?’ In Zip’s whole life, there had only been one other girl who had come close to affecting him that deeply – and he had only come to the true realizations of his feeling for Sin after four years. “After six DAYS?” he yelled at himself. “After only six fucking days, you can’t get a girl out of your head? What the fuck has happened to you?”

This had to stop, and now. Things had already gone too far. The feeling Sarah stirred in Zip – well, they were the reason he hadn’t seen her since Wednesday. Because that night, when he had walked her to the door, he had almost… He couldn’t even think about it. No, being around Sarah was just too much of a temptation. He had to stop, even if it hurt both of them in the short-run. It was just the right thing to do.

A sudden knock at the door made Zip jump. Since the security guard hadn’t called up, it had to be someone he had on his list of guests. He put out his cigarette in a nearby ashtray and nervously approached the door. Opening it, Zip just looked at Sarah with shock. “What are you doing here?” he asked her.

Holding up a bag of groceries, Sarah walked by Zip and into the kitchen. “I came over to teach you how to make homemade mac and cheese. I got all the ingredients, and once you learn how, you can make it whenever you want to.” Turning around, she was taken aback by the expression of annoyance on Zip’s face. “What’s the matter? I thought it would be a nice surprise.”

Every fiber of his being begged him not to do it, but Zip couldn’t stop himself from yelling at Sarah. “So now you’re just showing up at my place?” he said to her, hating the way her brown eyes betrayed her hurt and confusion. Still, he had to go on. This was a bad idea from the get-go, and now, with Sarah feeling comfortable enough to drop by without advanced notice… “Someone could have been here, Sarah. What if Sin had come by for something? Or…” he knew what he was going to say would be hurtful, but he had to. “Or I could have had a girl here. Did you ever think of that? And just so you know, I am not a fan of the ‘pop-in’.”

“I just wanted to do something nice…” Sarah started, still in shock from Zip’s outburst. As soon as she felt the sting of tears in her eyes, though, she shook off the hurt. She wasn’t about to let Zip see her cry again. “If you have a problem with me coming by, you can just say it,” she put her hands on her hips and gave him an indignant stare. “You don’t have to be an asshole about it.”

“Well, maybe I don’t know a better way to let you know that I don’t want to hang out anymore,” Zip lied, but knew his poker-face wouldn’t let on how hard it had been to get those words out. “Maybe that’s why I didn’t call you for the past couple days. Ever think of that?”

‘Ouch,’ Sarah thought, begging herself to not cry. ‘That hurt.’

Zip could see that Sarah was on the edge, and he had to figure out one last thing to say that would push her over and away from him. “Listen, Sarah, we barely know each other as it is,” he tried to ignore the bile rising in his throat as he pressed forward to say what he needed to say. “I guess… I guess after the other night, I just realized… you’re not really worth putting my other friendships at risk for. Sorry.”

Feeling like she had been slapped, Sarah didn’t have to ask her body not to cry. She was too angry to do anything of the sort. “Fine,” she replied coldly, looking Zip in the eye. “I obviously made a mistake, thinking you might be more that the self-centered, arrogant asshole everyone says you are. Besides, it wouldn’t be much fun hanging out with a guy who is stuck on a girl that is NEVER going to want him. So go ahead, Zip, and do what you think Sin wants you to do. But remember – you don’t even register on her radar anymore. And as far as I’m concerned, you deserve to be alone.” With that, she stormed out of the condo.

Closing his eyes, Zip tried to slow down the crazy beating of his heart. ‘I was lying,’ he thought to himself. ‘I was saying things that weren’t true. But everything she said… she meant.’ He couldn’t believe how badly that truth hurt him. How had a girl he’d known less than a week just manage to make him – Zip Kopti, the King of Not Getting Attached – ache with hurt at her words?

-----

“Shit!” Sarah stared at the door of her apartment, her stomach dropping.

Even though she lived thirty-seven blocks from Zip’s place, Sarah had walked home. She thought it was probably a good idea to expend some of the tense energy in her body. ‘I can’t believe he said all that stuff,’ she thought sadly. ‘I really thought he liked me. To say I’m not worth it…”

“Hey,” Zip’s voice made Sarah jump, and she turned around to look at him. “You forgot this at my place,” he held out her bag to her, his eyes searching her face for some sort of sign of what she was thinking.

“I know,” Sarah bit back coldly as she took the bag. “My keys are in it. And while I appreciate the gesture of coming all the way over here to drop it off, especially for someone you don’t even want to hang out with anymore,” she threw his words back at him, and was glad to see him flinch a little. “Still, you shouldn’t just ‘pop in’. I mean, someone we know could have been here. Or maybe I brought a guy home. Ever think of that?”

Zip knew she was angry and trying to hurt him… and she was succeeding. “Fine,” Zip said with annoyance. “Be like that. Be the little brat you’re always complaining everyone sees you as. I don’t care.”

“Wait,” Sarah’s voice was suddenly soft as she called after Zip. Despite himself, he couldn’t help but stop and turn around. “I just… I thought you liked spending time with me. I just… I don’t understand what happened in the last two days to change that…”

“I do like spending time with you,” Zip said, taking a few tentative steps back towards Sarah. He knew he should go, he knew he was just moments from ending this strange, wrong thing between them, but he couldn’t – not when her voice sounded like that. “I was lying when I said I didn’t. But I’ve been thinking, and… friendships aren’t supposed to be complicated. You shouldn’t have to hide them from other people, you know?”

Biting her lip, Sarah nodded. “I get it,” she said quietly. “Although I kind of wish you had just said that back at your place, rather than all those mean things you said.”

“That I said?” Zip smirked at Sarah. “What about you? You said some awful things right back. At least I said I was lying about what I said.”

A smile tugged at the corners of Sarah’s mouth. “Well, I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings. But it’s not my fault that you’re arrogant and self-centered.” Suddenly, her smile faltered as she remembered the rest of what she had said. “But the things about Sin… that was a low-blow on my part. I am sorry.”

Nodding, Zip paused for a moment. So what did this all mean? After all, the idea of them hanging out was still probably not something that would go over well with Sin and Eddie. ‘It would be best if we just stop hanging out all together,’ Zip admitted sadly to himself.

“Will you come over tomorrow afternoon and show me how to make the mac and cheese?”

‘IDIOT,’ Zip yelled at himself for saying the exact opposite of what he knew he should say. But when he saw Sarah’s eyes light up a bit and a shy smile cross over her lips as she nodded, he couldn’t really care at the moment.

“Okay,” Zip nodded back. “Then… I’ll see you then, I guess.”

Watching Zip leave, Sarah reached into her bag and pulled out her keys, letting herself in to the apartment. “What the hell was that?” she asked herself out loud. “I mean, that was probably the most confusing, tumultuous, ridiculous hour I have ever spent in my life.”

But Zip had brought her bag back; and told her he liked spending time with her; and asked her to come over the next day. Sighing, she shook her head. ‘This is a fucked-up situation,’ she thought. ‘And I don’t want it to stop for anything.’

-----

NOT MY BEST CHAPTER, I KNOW. BUT THE STORYLINE IS NOW FULLY OUTLINED IN MY HEAD, SO HOPEFULLY THE REST OF THE STORY WILL FLOW A LITTLE MORE EVENLY. IN THE MEANTIME, THANKS TO EVERYONE FOR ALL THE AWESOME REVIEWS. A FEW COMMENTS:

TEMPLETON21 AND SAMMO_00 – I AGREE WITH BOTH YOUR VIEWS THAT SIN AND EDDIE MIGHT NOT REACT AS BADLY AS SARAH AND ZIP EXPECT. THEN AGAIN, IT’S HARD TO LET SOMEONE YOU LOOK AT AS ‘LITTLE’ GROW UP.

LKN – THEY BOTH DEFINITELY NEED TO GROW UP, THAT’S FOR SURE. BUT THEY MAKE IT EASY FOR THE OTHER TO NOT WANT TO, KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

ARAINAINA – YES, BUT SIN KNOWS (AND EDDIE KNOWS FROM SIN) HOW ZIP HAS ACTED WITH WOMEN IN THE PAST. THEY MIGHT NOT BE ABLE TO SEE HIM AS BEING A GOOD CHOICE FOR SARAH.

KIRSCHE – MAYBE I COULD HIRE YOU AS A BODY GUARD?

ADAEE – YES, SARAH’S MOODY, SARAH’S SPOILED, SARAH’S IMMATURE… AND SARAH’S GOING TO LEARN SOME LESSONS.

MEGAN – DON’T WORRY, I DON’T PLAN TO GIVE AWAY ANY PLOT OF DH. I COULDN’T IF I WANTED TO, REALLY, AS I STOPPED WATCHING THE SHOW HALFWAY THROUGH THE FIRST SEASON.

KELLY – I DIDN’T INTEND TO MAKE SARAH AND ZIP UNLIKEABLE, JUST FLAWED. I’M TRYING TO EXPAND MY WRITING A LITTLE, AND IT’S MUCH HARDER TO WRITE ABOUT PEOPLE THAT AREN’T COMPLETE SWEETHEARTS (LIKE LIANNA OR EDDIE) AND STILL KEEP SYMPATHY FOR THEM. HOPEFULLY, I WILL DO AN OKAY JOB. IT’S ALL A PROCESS!

THANKS ALSO TO IOTC247, ROSIE, RACHELLE, WOLF, TENSHISTAR, ASH, MIZTIKAL_DRAGON, WILLOW DEAN, PIKACHEESE, ANGEL, BOBCAT, EGGMAN, REDSNAKE, FOAMYFAN15010, GIRLFIXER, YURI, ECSTATIC, NICKI, AND CARIAD FOR READING AND REVIEWING.