Take Me From This Pain, Kevin's story
folder
Drama › General
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
40
Views:
4,272
Reviews:
39
Recommended:
1
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Drama › General
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
40
Views:
4,272
Reviews:
39
Recommended:
1
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance of characters to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. The Author holds exclusive rights to this work. Unauthorized duplication is prohibited.
Preparing to leave Brian
\"Do you think Brian will be okay here with Matt?\" Kevin asked he and Jason lay in their bunk beds.
\"I think Matt\'s serious about taking care of your brother,\" Jason replied. \"After our two conversations, I have to say he deserves an Oscar if he\'s playing us. And I don\'t think he is. You saw how he handled Darren today. I don\'t think he\'d be that much of an asshole, knowing what he knows now.\"
Kevin lay contemplating the darkness around him as he rolled Jason\'s observations over in his mind. He hoped like hell that his friend was right, because he was taking a huge risk leaving Brian behind. Matt\'s abrupt change of heart still bothered him. And the look he\'d seen the older guy give his brother scared the shit out of him. He didn\'t know if or how he should voice these concerns to Jason. He thought it over for another minute and decided that he wouldn\'t be able to rest tonight until he did so he forged ahead.
\"Did you see the way he was glancing at Brian at lunch today when he thought no one was watching him?\"
Jason sighed silently in the bottom bunk. He was hoping Kevin hadn\'t picked up on what Jason suspected was going on with his brother and Matt. He wasn\'t sure how Kevin would feel about it.
\"I think he was trying to send a message to Darren and the rest of the lacrosse team that Brian was off limits,\" he said vaguely, knowing it wouldn\'t pacify Kevin. This was his brother they were discussing and a lot was riding on his safety right now.
\"It was more than that, Jay. But it doesn\'t make any sense.\"
\"What doesn\'t?\"
\"If Matt\'s queer, why would he have been calling Brian a fag all the time?\"
Jason mulled this over before answering. It seemed to be a double-edged sword. Was Kevin disgusted by gays? If so, how would he feel when Jason eventually came out? Should Jason tell him now to avoid a shock later, and give Kevin a chance to opt into the social services system rather than being trapped in a house with a fag, and one who was in love with him to boot? Jason didn\'t think he was prepared for Kevin to turn on him like that. Not yet anyway. How to handle this, he wondered quietly.
\"Sometimes gays will act straight to avoid getting picked on themselves,\" he ventured softly.
\"But why harass someone else like that?\" Kevin demanded. \"Especially accusing them of something you\'re trying to hide yourself?\"
\"I don\'t know, Kev,\" Jason sighed audibly this time. \"Maybe it\'s a jock thing.\"
\"You\'re not a jock, but you act like one at times,\" Kevin pointed out. \"And you don\'t go around torturing smaller kids and calling them fags.\"
Jason\'s breath caught in his throat. What the hell was Kevin trying to say? He didn\'t know, did he? No. He couldn\'t know. But it sounded like he did.
\"What do you mean?\" Jason finally asked in a small, frightened voice.
\"I know you\'re gay,\" Kevin said matter-of-factly. \"You\'re strong, like Matt, and yet you don\'t torture smaller people to make yourself feel better or hide what you are.\"
\"You know?\"
\"Yeah,\" Kevin shrugged in the dark. He\'d known from almost the start. It was hard to miss the looks Jason gave to cute boys passing by. It didn\'t bother him at all.
\"So, you knew I was gay all along?\"
\"Pretty much.\"
\"And you never said anything?\"
\"Why would I?\" Kevin was clearly confused now. \"I figured you\'d tell me if you wanted to talk about it. It had no effect on our friendship.\"
Jason was glad the lights were off so no one could see his jaw hanging down to his chest. He\'d thought he was able to hide it from people. Shit! What if everybody knew? What would Kevin say if everyone they knew began taunting him about his new \"boyfriend\". People at school could be that way. And he wasn\'t a respected jock like Matt, so he didn\'t have a Ryan to watch his back.
\"How did you know?\"
\"Well,\" Kevin replied through the darkness from above. \"We\'ve spent almost every minute in school together. And in that time, you may not realize it, but you\'ve ogled every decent looking guy that ever passed us.\"
\"Uh, no, I hadn\'t realized it,\" Jason was mortified. Good thing they were moving. He hoped he\'d be able to adapt a better game face when they got to their new school. \"And how do you feel about your best friend being queer?\"
\"Doesn\'t bother me.\"
\"It doesn\'t?\"
\"Nope,\" the smile was evident in Kevin\'s voice. \"You were worried, weren\'t you?\"
\"A little,\" Jason gulped. He hoped Kevin wasn\'t aware of his growing feelings as well. \"What with everything going on and Brian\'s experiences, I thought you might not be receptive to a gay friend.\"
\"Have a little faith in me,\" Kevin sounded irked now. \"You were one of the very few who actually helped us. Your sexual preference doesn\'t make you any less a best friend.\"
Jason smiled to himself now. Apparently Kevin was none the wiser to his feelings and didn\'t mind that he was gay.
\"Do you think anyone else knows?\" he suddenly asked.
\"Doubt it,\" Kevin yawned then laughed. \"And you\'re always with me, so if they didn\'t know, they\'d think you and I were a couple.\"
Jason squirmed at the sudden heat that assaulted his senses. Oh, Kevin, he thought, you really have no idea.
\"Wouldn\'t that bother you?\"
\"Like I give a shit what people here think,\" Kevin scoffed. \"They never took the time to know me before. Let them wonder.\"
\"Um. Okay,\" Jason was really squirming now.
\"But Matt still worries me,\" Kevin went on. \"I don\'t know if Brian\'s gay or not because we\'ve never discussed those things. Gary seems to have ruined his interest in sex altogether. But I can\'t shake the feeling that Matt\'s concerns run deeper than redemption.\"
\"I\'ll talk to him tomorrow,\" Jason offered.
\"He might get mad,\" Kevin warned thoughtfully. \"Remember, 48 hours ago, he was Brian\'s second worst nightmare.\"
\"I remember and I won\'t accuse him outright. I\'ll just remind him to keep an eye out for predators since Brian can\'t do it for himself right now. I\'ll also tell him that Brian\'s not ready for anything sexual, so he should watch out for that, too. He\'ll take the hint. He\'s not out to hurt Brian anymore.\"
\"You think so?\"
\"Yeah, I do.\"
\"Okay,\" Kevin frowned to himself in the dark. \"If you say so.\"
He rolled over and tried to fall asleep. Jason, meanwhile, new he wasn\'t going to be sleeping anytime soon. He was going to have to talk to Matt about a very uncomfortable subject for the jock. And he was going to have to find a better way of hiding his feelings for Kevin. His friend was going to notice them eventually if he kept this up. And that was the last thing Kevin needed to deal with right now.
\"I think Matt\'s serious about taking care of your brother,\" Jason replied. \"After our two conversations, I have to say he deserves an Oscar if he\'s playing us. And I don\'t think he is. You saw how he handled Darren today. I don\'t think he\'d be that much of an asshole, knowing what he knows now.\"
Kevin lay contemplating the darkness around him as he rolled Jason\'s observations over in his mind. He hoped like hell that his friend was right, because he was taking a huge risk leaving Brian behind. Matt\'s abrupt change of heart still bothered him. And the look he\'d seen the older guy give his brother scared the shit out of him. He didn\'t know if or how he should voice these concerns to Jason. He thought it over for another minute and decided that he wouldn\'t be able to rest tonight until he did so he forged ahead.
\"Did you see the way he was glancing at Brian at lunch today when he thought no one was watching him?\"
Jason sighed silently in the bottom bunk. He was hoping Kevin hadn\'t picked up on what Jason suspected was going on with his brother and Matt. He wasn\'t sure how Kevin would feel about it.
\"I think he was trying to send a message to Darren and the rest of the lacrosse team that Brian was off limits,\" he said vaguely, knowing it wouldn\'t pacify Kevin. This was his brother they were discussing and a lot was riding on his safety right now.
\"It was more than that, Jay. But it doesn\'t make any sense.\"
\"What doesn\'t?\"
\"If Matt\'s queer, why would he have been calling Brian a fag all the time?\"
Jason mulled this over before answering. It seemed to be a double-edged sword. Was Kevin disgusted by gays? If so, how would he feel when Jason eventually came out? Should Jason tell him now to avoid a shock later, and give Kevin a chance to opt into the social services system rather than being trapped in a house with a fag, and one who was in love with him to boot? Jason didn\'t think he was prepared for Kevin to turn on him like that. Not yet anyway. How to handle this, he wondered quietly.
\"Sometimes gays will act straight to avoid getting picked on themselves,\" he ventured softly.
\"But why harass someone else like that?\" Kevin demanded. \"Especially accusing them of something you\'re trying to hide yourself?\"
\"I don\'t know, Kev,\" Jason sighed audibly this time. \"Maybe it\'s a jock thing.\"
\"You\'re not a jock, but you act like one at times,\" Kevin pointed out. \"And you don\'t go around torturing smaller kids and calling them fags.\"
Jason\'s breath caught in his throat. What the hell was Kevin trying to say? He didn\'t know, did he? No. He couldn\'t know. But it sounded like he did.
\"What do you mean?\" Jason finally asked in a small, frightened voice.
\"I know you\'re gay,\" Kevin said matter-of-factly. \"You\'re strong, like Matt, and yet you don\'t torture smaller people to make yourself feel better or hide what you are.\"
\"You know?\"
\"Yeah,\" Kevin shrugged in the dark. He\'d known from almost the start. It was hard to miss the looks Jason gave to cute boys passing by. It didn\'t bother him at all.
\"So, you knew I was gay all along?\"
\"Pretty much.\"
\"And you never said anything?\"
\"Why would I?\" Kevin was clearly confused now. \"I figured you\'d tell me if you wanted to talk about it. It had no effect on our friendship.\"
Jason was glad the lights were off so no one could see his jaw hanging down to his chest. He\'d thought he was able to hide it from people. Shit! What if everybody knew? What would Kevin say if everyone they knew began taunting him about his new \"boyfriend\". People at school could be that way. And he wasn\'t a respected jock like Matt, so he didn\'t have a Ryan to watch his back.
\"How did you know?\"
\"Well,\" Kevin replied through the darkness from above. \"We\'ve spent almost every minute in school together. And in that time, you may not realize it, but you\'ve ogled every decent looking guy that ever passed us.\"
\"Uh, no, I hadn\'t realized it,\" Jason was mortified. Good thing they were moving. He hoped he\'d be able to adapt a better game face when they got to their new school. \"And how do you feel about your best friend being queer?\"
\"Doesn\'t bother me.\"
\"It doesn\'t?\"
\"Nope,\" the smile was evident in Kevin\'s voice. \"You were worried, weren\'t you?\"
\"A little,\" Jason gulped. He hoped Kevin wasn\'t aware of his growing feelings as well. \"What with everything going on and Brian\'s experiences, I thought you might not be receptive to a gay friend.\"
\"Have a little faith in me,\" Kevin sounded irked now. \"You were one of the very few who actually helped us. Your sexual preference doesn\'t make you any less a best friend.\"
Jason smiled to himself now. Apparently Kevin was none the wiser to his feelings and didn\'t mind that he was gay.
\"Do you think anyone else knows?\" he suddenly asked.
\"Doubt it,\" Kevin yawned then laughed. \"And you\'re always with me, so if they didn\'t know, they\'d think you and I were a couple.\"
Jason squirmed at the sudden heat that assaulted his senses. Oh, Kevin, he thought, you really have no idea.
\"Wouldn\'t that bother you?\"
\"Like I give a shit what people here think,\" Kevin scoffed. \"They never took the time to know me before. Let them wonder.\"
\"Um. Okay,\" Jason was really squirming now.
\"But Matt still worries me,\" Kevin went on. \"I don\'t know if Brian\'s gay or not because we\'ve never discussed those things. Gary seems to have ruined his interest in sex altogether. But I can\'t shake the feeling that Matt\'s concerns run deeper than redemption.\"
\"I\'ll talk to him tomorrow,\" Jason offered.
\"He might get mad,\" Kevin warned thoughtfully. \"Remember, 48 hours ago, he was Brian\'s second worst nightmare.\"
\"I remember and I won\'t accuse him outright. I\'ll just remind him to keep an eye out for predators since Brian can\'t do it for himself right now. I\'ll also tell him that Brian\'s not ready for anything sexual, so he should watch out for that, too. He\'ll take the hint. He\'s not out to hurt Brian anymore.\"
\"You think so?\"
\"Yeah, I do.\"
\"Okay,\" Kevin frowned to himself in the dark. \"If you say so.\"
He rolled over and tried to fall asleep. Jason, meanwhile, new he wasn\'t going to be sleeping anytime soon. He was going to have to talk to Matt about a very uncomfortable subject for the jock. And he was going to have to find a better way of hiding his feelings for Kevin. His friend was going to notice them eventually if he kept this up. And that was the last thing Kevin needed to deal with right now.