In the End

Chapter Five - I Hate You, I Love You

“I’m quitting.”

And there was that silence in the room when both males have dropped that playful front in favour of a serious stare. The owner’s eyes were hard when he starred at Shuusei, and the host allowed him as long as he needed.

“It’s been almost ten years.”

“I know.”

“They all ask me why you are the number one.”

“They’re blind, obviously.”

The owner smiled and shook his head. It was a risky move, but when he counted the cash that was brought in, he could not deny the reality. He was not an owner who looked with a critical eye to how his hosts entertained; as for how Shuusei entertained, as long as it worked, he couldn’t care less for the how. And here, Shuusei stood in front of him and asked for a situation that he never imagined. It would be a far fetched boast to say that he thought about passing the club on to Shuusei; but it was not impossible.

“When?”

“Ten days.”

“Let me shower onto you something for the last time then?”

“What is it?”

“You’ll see.”

Shuusei wasn’t quite sure which one he disliked more: that sentence or the owner’s impish grin. Two seconds passed and he still could not make up his mind, so it left him to drop a small bow before turning to leave.

“Shuusei.”

His hand was on the door handle when Shuusei paused to turn and look at the owner over his shoulder.

“In this world, nothing is impossible.” It looked as if the owner was going to say more, but his mouth moved without a word and then Shuusei was waved away. Even though it was highly cliché, but people always regret one thing or another at the very end. For the owner, it might be as simple as freeing away his number one. But for Shuusei, there may be a plethora of comfort and familiarities that he was quitting away.

However, if there was one universal law, it certainly would be the fact that all things come to an end.

If Shuusei was ever even the slightest bit worried about his parting present, the next evening Shuusei found –much to his irritation- just what the owner meant. When an invitation was slipped underneath his door, Shuusei instinctually felt a twitching of his eyes.

One last time.

Those three words were all that was written, and Shuusei contemplated on ripping it up and going back to bed, but he found that his eyes could not leave those three words alone. Indeed, it would be the last time. So when he stood in front his full length mirror two nights’ later, Shuusei looked at the reflected man and allowed his lips to curl up at one corner. As much as he detested the all too familiar crowd that has probably gathered downstairs, it was also the only life style that he knew. So allow him to allow himself this one last night.

Was he trying to prove something?
Not particularly.
However, there was a reason why he has been the number one for so long.

The moment he stepped out of the elevators and rounded the corner to head for the grand staircase, he knew the owner had invited some of the more well known and regular clients of this club.

“I thought it was a practical joke when I saw the invitation on my desk.”

Shuusei’s feet landed on the third to last stair case when, like a fly that cannot be swatted away, his voice reached the host’s ears. “And you still showed up; didn’t know you enjoyed jokes to this extent, Konbayoshi Atsushi.”

The owner of Konbayoshi industries offered him a smile before rounding the bend of the grand stairs to stand in front of Shuusei, on the first step. Or the bottom step, depending on one’s vantage point. “I was just going to leave, confirming the idea of this being a joke. And yet, I saw you descending the staircase.” He gestured towards the stairs behind him and cocked his head to the right to look at Shuusei. “Quitting?”

“What gave you that idea?”

“Ah, so we want to keep it hush hush.”

Shuusei rolled his eyes to the side and made a move to step down and past Konbayoshi Atsushi; this night was practically ruined anyways.

“Why are you quitting?”

“None of your business.”

“Not when I’m looking to extend an offer to you.”

At the same level as the business man, Shuusei snorted out a laugh and turned to look at the older man. “Me? In Opiate? Your forefathers might just turn in their graves.” Shuusei was more than aware of the standards that Opiate held; in fact, the reason why he was so familiar with those standards was thanks to this man going on and on about the tedious selection process. “Aren’t you afraid that upon sight, your clients will scream and run out of the door?”

“It is true that your appeal is an acquired one.” Konbayoshi Atsushi agreed with a nod of his head. “However, your history more than makes up for the acquired appeal.”

Ah, his history.

Shuusei’s lips twitched at the mention of his history. He entered this place to run away from his history, but he found history waiting for him instead.

“I refuse.”

“Why the haste in replying? I know you have a buffer of a week before you actually leave this club.”

“No.”

“What’s the harm in thinking about it?”

“The harm is wasting my brain cells on unimportant matters.”

“Everything will be better than here.”

“You know you are exceedingly annoying?”

“Shuusei-san is the only one who would describe me in such a manner, but I must say I am…”

“Didn’t he just say that you’re annoying? Then why are you still talking?” A third voice interjected and before either could turn to look, Shuusei already felt an arm around his waist, pulling backwards against another body.

Was it the cologne? Was it the way the arm tensed around his body? Or was it just an innate knowing?

Kirin.

“Why are you still wasting your breath with someone you find annoying, princess?” The yakuza boss carried on as if completely unaware of the situation and the people involved. Well, truthfully speaking, he probably was unaware.

Shuusei inhaled silently, deeply, before he caught Konbayoshi Atsushi’s eyes. The corners of his lips lifted and his eyes curved with every degree into a smile –rare, almost an extinct species- before Shuusei turned to look at Kirin. “Can you not see that I’m with a client right now?” The words were of a chiding nature, but the smile and lifted eyebrow were of a playful manner that spoke of a harmless challenge.

Now, this was something Kirin did not expect. The host in his arms felt different; everything about the host felt different. In actuality, Kirin had expected a story line that paralleled the last visit; you know, bitching, swearing, yelling, clawing, punching, kicking, and etcetera. “Please, I can pass off as a better client than this old man here.”

Between Konbayoshi Atsushi and Kirin, Shuusei would rather throw himself off a building than touch either. However, the history –ah, there was that word again- between he and Konbayoshi Atsushi ran much deeper than he and Kirin. “In that case, shall we move to somewhere more private,” Shuusei paused and tilted his head with narrowed eyes, “Kirin-sama?” He moved first to step back up, one step, two steps before he would turn completely to walk up the stairs again.

Shock rooted Kirin to his spot.

“Shuusei-san, please do not do anything you will regret in the future.” Konbayoshi Atsushi spoke calmly.

“Why are you so interested?” Said host only had enough time to glance over his shoulder at the business man before Kirin was already climbing up the stairs. “I heard you picked up a new boy toy for yourself, can’t he satisfy you?” But by then, Kirin’s hand was already around his wrist and pulling him up the stairs. Shuusei liked to think that it was a smile of admitted defeat on Konbayoshi Atsushi’s face that he saw before his legs had him following Kirin.

Did he want the evening to end in bed with Kirin?
Not particularly.
However, since this all started with someone not of his choosing, then there was no harm in letting it end with someone not of his choosing either.

The brisk trip up and into Shuusei’s room was silent. Once inside, Shuusei turned on the light with a flick of his wrist before being caught in the same pair of arms again; Kirin’s lips were already on his neck. “Tsk, tsk; if I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were a hormone driven teenager.” Even though it was a jest, Shuusei couldn’t help but admit to himself that maybe he did think that way of Kirin after all. Pushing himself away, the host backed off just a couple of steps so they could look at each other.

“Is it my fault for wanting to possess something the moment I need it?”

“Am I a thing?”

Kirin offered a boyish grin that was tinged with a touch of sheepish reflection. Looking at the grin, Shuusei couldn’t help but chuckle. Here was a walking paradox; boss of a yakuza clan and yet he was standing here like a little boy scolded. What a mystery this one was.

“Relax,” he said and lifted a hand to touch Kirin’s cheek lightly “it’s not like tomorrow is the end of the world.”

“Even if it is, at least I will die happy.”

“… are you always this cheesy?”

“I only speak the truth?” It was unlike him to answer a question with a question. To him, that was for people who thought too much for their own good. In his life, he just needed to move forward and forward and forward. However, when he was in the presence of this host, this seemingly different host, even a little part of himself felt embarrassed. Why? He would never know.

Shuusei’s eyes searched his face for a moment longer before taking one step forward to cut their distance and pressed his lips against Kirin’s. If this was to be the last time, then he might as well offer the complete package, right? After all, the number one spot wasn’t just offered to him; he had to work as well!

This is a trick.

Kirin’s first thought instinctively concluded. His body still remembered how kissing finished when they first met; but when Shuusei made no move to end his life, that natural urge resurfaced and his demand to thoroughly enjoy what he was deprived of the last time moved him. His hands found Shuusei’s arm and neck, pulling the host closer. It was a war of tongue and lips, and the kumicho did not want to think about just what about this host drives him to high heavens and back to the fire pits of hell.

“Should we move to the bed?”

The grunted reply from Kirin was taken as an affirmative before they half walked and half stumbled to the bed. The leather jacket was pushed off Kirin’s shoulders, but the yakuza caught Shuusei’s hand and pressed a kiss to it. A part of him could not help but note how skinny Shuusei’s hand was. When he was here last, was he already this skinny? Attention was diverted when Shuusei was almost ripping off his shirt, and for the sake of an expensive shirt, Kirin quickly let go of that hand to assist. The back of Shuusei’s knees hit the bed side and the host sat down on the edge easily. What was supposed to be a gentle process of clothes removal was sped up to a hasty pulling and tugging of garments that left both of them short of breath.

“You are different.” Kirin commented as he scooted to the centre of the bed; now naked and waiting.

“Oh?” Shuusei’s hand touched his shoulder and legs straddled the exposed body before a kiss was mutually agreed upon.

“You’re really good at your job, aren’t you?”

“I am the number one.”

Kirin’s reply was left to die when Shuusei’s fingers wrapped around his cock. Currently, the space between them was just enough for oxygen to pass through. The host’s hand moved up and down a hardening shaft as they kept their eyes locked on one another’s. Kirin wondered what could be found at the depth of those violet orbs. His head fell forward to Shuusei’s shoulders and left row after row of kisses as his hips bucked upwards to greet Shuusei’s hand. It was a moment that needed no words and the room was silent except for the heavy breaths that were emitted from Kirin’s lips.

“If you are always like this, I don’t doubt that your clients will line the hallway.”

“Then it wouldn’t be special anymore.”

“Am I special then?” Kirin muttered against Shuusei’s neck, quickly and muffled. “Right now, I’m falling so much and so fast into you, it’s not even realistic.”

“There is nothing wrong with falling into me.”

“But that implies I’m losing control.” Kirin’s head jerked up from Shuusei’s shoulder and looked into the other’s pair of violet orbs. It was as if the world did stop moving at that moment and everything was on pause. “I hate losing control.” He added; as if it weren’t already clear enough for the both of them to see.

“I hate you.”

Surprise, annoyance, regret, dejection, and a plethora of other unnamed emotions flashed through Kirin’s head. Finally, he offered Shuusei a quick, lopsided grin. “Many people do.”

“I love you.”

Surely, Kirin concluded, the blush rising on his face was due to the arousal that Shuusei was still nursing. He was a kumicho, it was impossible for him to be blushing! So surely, Kirin concluded, the blush must be due to his own lust.

“But that has nothing to do with here and now,” Shuusei carried on while raising himself onto his knees “there is no need for so much talking.” He guided the almost forgotten erection to his entrance and successfully dissipated whatever mood that might have been created by their words. Both men’s eyebrows furrowed into frowns; the host out of sheer discomfort, and the kumicho out of concentration. It was pure reflex when Kirin’s hips bucked up with impatience and Shuusei hissed at the sudden jerk. “Patience.” It was almost gritted out of his teeth.

“Sorry princess, but I am never patient.” Certainly not when it comes to sex; especially not when it came to sex like this. The first time, Kirin had to half rape the host to get what he wanted. Now, Shuusei offered so willingly what he had been craving. The younger’s hands found the curve of Shuusei’s buttocks and steadied the host.

“Aren’t you afraid that I’d strangle you to death?”

“I’d like to see you try.”

The up and down exercise started slowly, it was like pulling tooth. Perhaps for Shuusei, it was this discomfort that reminded him that he was still alive. For Kirin, it could be concluded under the general umbrella of he’s never been a gentle lover in bed.

“As much as I’d like to, it would be a waste of my time.”

“Then scream instead. Scream for me when you come; scream my name.” Kirin would not admit it, but he had wanted to hear said scream since the last time.

“I’d like to see you try.”

Kirin’s words were thrown back at him with a crooked grin, and it was matched with one of his own. No longer did he want to play this game of vague flirtation; right now, he was seeking for certainties that he could grasp. Moving to shove Shuusei onto the bed, his body that pressed forward forced apart the host’s legs, spread and tucked against his waist as he withdrew and returned.

The entire room is flooded with light.

Shuusei could not help but notice as he fell back onto the bed, the crown of his head hitting the head piece of his bed. Instinctually, Shuusei lifted an arm and slung it over his eyes to block out the light.

I don’t want to see. I don’t want to be seen.

The gesture did not go unnoticed by the one above him, and for a surprising moment, Kirin stopped and his persistent gaze on Shuusei was tender. “Hey, you okay?” Lips against forehead; the connection was felt. And even if he did not want to admit it, Kirin was realizing a few things himself. Underneath him, Shuusei lowered his arm and looked up into Kirin’s face. From this vantage point, all he could see was Kirin’s face. It was as if Kirin was his entire world. His fingers brushed against Kirin’s cheek, threaded through Kirin’s hair and closed around the necklace around Kirin’s neck. A black swan pendant hung at the very end of the loop. Shuusei’s arm jerked and pulled Kirin downwards, closer via the metal chain.

“Fuck me, Kirin-sama.” Shuusei whispered besides Kirin’s ear. “Make it hurt. Harder; fuck me harder.” For incentive’s sake, he even left a little nibble at the younger’s ear lobe.

Needless to say, there needed to be no other words. Their bodies were folded against one another’s, each thrust in and pull out rubbed Shuusei’s trapped cock between them. Even though his entrance felt like it had torn open, he did not mind. The words –when they were barely coherent- urged Kirin on; faster, harder, always asking for more. The room echoed with a cacophony of their voices that were unrestrained. Shuusei groaned with his head tilted back, hips off the bed as Kirin pressed further and grunted against his neck. No matter how intense the feelings shooting through their bodies, they never seemed to be enough. It was not enough that they were joined as one. It was not enough that the pain was slowly fading. It was not enough that Shuusei’s cock was neglected between their bodies, so he forced himself away just a little for his hand to close around the host’s length.

It’s been a while. It’s been a long while since he’s felt like this.

Yet, if there was one undying law in this world, it would be the inevitable end of everything. If their jargon of pleasure filled cries of lust was any indication, then the tensing of their bodies was even more of one.

“I know you are near.” Kirin baited with his head bowed to kiss Shuusei’s lips. “I want to hear it. I want to hear you…” The rest of that sentence was swallowed when Shuusei crushed his lips against Kirin’s, successfully cutting off anything else either of them might have said. The moment of elation came as Kirin predicted, for both of them. The white on Shuusei’s stomach was a reminder just as much as the swelling welts left behind by Shuusei’s nails on Kirin’s back.

Kirin’s weight fell and the kumicho tilted his body to fall down on the bed besides Shuusei, still panting. It had been a while, a long while since he last had sex that was as intense as the previous moments. These days, it seemed the moment he was even slightly excited, his partner would already be near tears. So it would be natural for the kumicho to wear a content expression taking that into mind. However, even if his eyes did express satisfaction, his lips were in the slightest pout as he looked at Shuusei’s profile.

“You cheated.” The kumicho was quick to accuse. “We should do that again.”

Shuusei turned his head and searched Kirin’s face. Their heads occupied the same pillow, and only allowed a few centimetres of a gap between the two of them. In this close proximity, Shuusei looked at Kirin and saw his reflection in the younger’s eyes. He wondered how he appeared to Kirin and in turn wondered how Kirin appeared to him. He took his time thinking of a reply, and both searched for some kind of truth that might be hidden.

Finally, the host lifted a corner of his mouth into a smirk. “I wasn’t going to scream.”

“You lie.”

“Believe me.”

“You totally were.”

“Believe me.”

This time, Kirin did not immediately refute that statement. Instead, he shifted and brought up a hand to brush back the strands of Shuusei’s blonde hair out of his eyes before caressing his cheek with the pads of his fingers. “So then, can I believe you when you said you love me?”

To be continued...

A.N.: I'm sorry this took so long. Merry Christmas and happy holidays!