Bonded

I’ve officially noticed that it’s summer now. By that, I mean it’s too freaking hot.

This chapter has a bit of angst.

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I jumped to my feet quickly, as far away from the boy as I could, and turned my back on him so I didn’t have to look at him. Look at what I had done to him, with him.

What the hell have I done?

The boy, it must have been him. When he bit me, that must have been it.

I never would have agreed if he’d told me this would happen!

“Zach?” I started, hearing Gage speak my name in a whisper.

I let myself turn back to him, and knew it was a mistake.

His hair was messy, tendrils framing his face, his lips kiss-bruised, and his cheeks red.

It would have been arousing if I hadn’t have just climaxed. Especially with him still panting and raised up by his elbows, his legs parted.

Oh god, I did not just think that.

What the hell is wrong with me?

Its… it must be an after effect. Yeah, that’s what it is.

“Zach?” He called out again, louder this time.

“I really don’t want to hear whatever you have to say,” I said lowly, truthfully. He nodded, and slowly stood up.

“The bathroom is over there, if you need it. I‘ll have mom bring some clothes in a minute.” Gage said, pointing to the second door to the room.

I nodded, and went towards it.

Walking in, I closed and locked the door behind me, and leaned back on it.

I wasn’t really sure what I was supposed to be doing with myself. I couldn’t very well blame the boy, I mean he did warn me, just not like I wished he had, and him biting me was mostly my fault for not paying attention as I should have been.

Does it make me a bad person that I just want to put all the blame on him though?

I would also like to say that it’s too late to blame anyone, but it isn’t. Once the Hunter’s Association figures out what had happened, what I am now, they’d probably lock me up, or put me in a room to observe my behavior. That is, if they had Gage as well, since they made it clear that I would die without him now.

What am I going to do? I’m not sure what Gage thinks of this, but I doubt he likes it either, by how hesitant he was. Maybe they’d let me go after that Burdy guy?

I would have to, it’s the only lead I had.

I don’t even feel human anymore.

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I took a shower, not wanting to have to think about anything, just once, and of course, making sure I scrubbed my body as hard as I could. I could tell the next few days would be very troublesome.

I stepped out of the bathroom, looking around to make sure no one was around, and saw clothes lying on the bed.

They seemed about my size, probably that Gary guy’s. He seemed about my size, if not a bit smaller.

Usually, I wouldn’t dare even think about wearing something a vampire once wore, but now I knew I had no choice.

I don’t think I could stand wearing the close with today’s earlier activity's remnants still on it, and there’s no way in hell I would go walking around naked.

I’d like to think I still had some pride left, whatever hadn’t been stolen away by Gage.

For all of my life, I had just taken things as they come, not really caring otherwise, unless it changed my life completely.

When I had turned sixteen, and still had yet to gain my Sense, I thought I would never get it, and I was happy.

I was so fucking happy that I wouldn’t have to follow in the footsteps of my family. Even so, I still continued to train. Maybe they could use me for something else? Anything else.

And then, when I turned seventeen, it suddenly showed up, and I was internally devastated, hiding what I felt about it from everyone. I never wanted to fight someone I didn’t know, something I didn’t personally have any qualms against.

Vampires use humans for survival, right? And most don’t even kill anyone, they just take a bite, and than leave, as if they’d never been.

Humans kill humans for worse. Money, politics, love, jealousy, envy… fun, you name it. Everyone is capable of murder, as is a vampire, yet no one is hunting us down.

Even still, I let them make me into what I was. I honed my skills to fight our unwilling enemy, to kill them without hesitation.

Gage isn’t the monster. I am.

If I do have a chance to get rid of this Bond, I’m not sure if I want to go back home. It’s not like I’ll miss anyone. We’re pretty much distanced from our family once we turn a certain age. I barely even remember what they even look like.

But I understand why they do so. Its to make sure we don’t have any weaknesses.

I… I don’t want to do this. Not at all, I just want to live my life free to do whatever I wish.

I want to get a job, find a home, start a family. I don’t care if, in the end, I get fired, loose my home, and get a divorce.

I just want to be normal.

Why me?

If there really is a god, than why does it have to be like this? Why did he have to create humans in the first place?

Maybe there’s a reason. I’ve never read the bible, though I know some stories. As a child, I never had much faith in any religion. If that means I’m going to hell, then so be it. If there is a god, than there is, if not, than not.

Maybe this is my punishment for what I think?

And maybe not.

But what can I do?

Wait, I guess. Maybe, if I go with this, everything will be all right?

I’ll have to wait, either way. What else can I do? I’m in the home of four vampires, and I have no idea where I am. Gareth told me Brighton, and I assume that’s somewhere close to Eldon, because that’s where I met the boy.

I think I just realized something. Gage said earlier that mom was going to bring me clothes, and I can only sense four vampires, the only ones I’ve met, plus Gage, even though I can still barely sense him, which is very odd. I just hope there aren’t any more like him here.

But that would mean Meredith is his mother, right? That is, unless Gareth or Gary are into cross-dressing.

Now that I just gave myself the horrible image of Gareth in a dress, I think I’m going to go puke. Maybe I actually would if I had something in my stomach.

I noticed a smell in the air that made my stomach rumble, and I looked over to the bed. There was a plate of food that I hadn’t seen before after I came out of the bathroom.

If I’m going to be stuck here, I might as well eat. I guess I’ve already shown that I’ll do anything to stay alive, though I’m not to sure if I’ll actually have the will to live if I do… that with Gage again.

I suddenly laughed. I couldn’t even think about what I did with him. I couldn’t put a name to it, I was scared. I’d never been touched like that, especially by another guy.

Hunter’s couldn’t be gay, it was essential for reproducing and keeping the genetic line intact. It was thinning out enough as it was, I mean, I’m lucky to be a full-blooded Hunter, apparently, and it gives me a chance to become someone pretty important in our society, if I show that I’m made of the stuff.

After this, I never will be. I don’t think I’ll be able to live as someone’s Bonded, and even if it’s reverted, I’ll never be able to go home.

But… maybe I will be free after this? Maybe I’ll be able to get rid of this horrid lifestyle, and get to choose my own life?

Maybe what happened, me becoming a Bonded, maybe it will let me be free of this. Forever.

I think… I think I’ll be able to handle it the next time Gage has to feed from me. I’ll know what will happen, and maybe be able to control myself. Even if I don’t, it’ll be worth it in the end.

I finally won a fight in my internal battle, and I figured out at least one thing I could do. Find Burdy, even if it meant dragging Gage over the globe with me so that I didn’t die beforehand.

Now I just had to find out what the family knew of his location. Go to him, or come to me. Knowing my luck, I’d probably have to go to him. Now I just have to hope that I can persuade the vampires to let Gage go with me. After I persuade Gage to go with me.

I think I’m just going to go to bed right now.

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You all probably know this already or something, but I don’t mean to offend anyone with the whole religion thing. Just wanted to say, just in case.