The Training Camp

The next several days are torture. Lee constantly tries to get me alone, to talk. Once he even tries to kiss me, and I slap him across the face, something I instantly regret. Thankfully, I am able to turn and start sprinting away from him before the tears start streaming down my face. After that, his attempts slowly fade away. But he still follows me with those sad blue eyes wherever I go. I even dream about him one night; a vivid dream that coats me in layer of sweat and wakes me up with my own moans, which, mercifully, do not wake up the men sleeping around me. I try not to use Brian as a crutch, but I’m so lonely, it’s hard not to.

Eric’s dark eyes also track me wherever I go, and his upset me nearly as much as Lee’s do. Something seethes in his eyes, but I can’t tell if it’s anger or lust or something else. Whatever it is, I don’t like it, and I wish he would stop looking at me.

Five days after the paintball incident, I wake up with a gasp in the middle of the night. A dream: I was with Lee. I was basking in a glow coming from his face, when something horrible happened, but the impressions are vague and I am left with only a dull sense of unease. Quietly, I climb down from my bunk and head out to the lav to splash some cool water on my face. My face looks haggard and there are circles under my eyes, but I don’t think I can do anything about that. I run cold water and rub it onto my face and the back of my neck until I feel a little better. A few deep breaths and I steel myself to go back into the room where my sleeping lover lies, so close and yet untouchable.

As I am passing the space between the lav building and the barracks I hear a noise and I look into the shadows to see what it is. Eric is leaning against a wall smoking a cigarette. I hadn’t realized he smokes, but then, I’ve been less than attentive to Eric since we got past that horrid first day. I nod to him and am about to move on toward the barracks when he speaks to me.

“Can’t sleep?” He pushes himself off the wall and grinds his cigarette into the ground with his shoe.

“No, bad dream. You?” I shiver a little in the cold air, and he takes a few steps toward me.

“Nope, and it’s your fault.” Suddenly he is right in front of me, gripping my wrists in his hands so tight, almost to the point that it’s painful.

“What? Me? What do you mean? Let go of me.” He smells like smoke and it turns my stomach a little to have him so close to me.

“So, I don’t get permission to even touch you, but you fuck Lee and Brian both? Now, tell me, how is that fair?” He pushes me against the wall and snarls his words into my face.

“What are you talking about Eric? Let me go; you’re hurting me.” His grip on my wrists tightens as he pulls my arms above my head and transfers both wrists to one hand. Only now am I realizing what his intent is.

“You know exactly what I’m talking about, you little slut. Well, now it’s my turn.”

I struggle against his grip, but I’m too shocked and afraid to think straight and the grip of his hand is too strong for me to break free. His free hand descends down my body, stopping to squeeze one of my breasts as he grinds himself against me. He twists it and I cry out in pain which makes him laugh. He crushes his mouth to mine, angrily, and my fear grows. As his hand slips beneath the elastic of my pajama pants and begins to stroke me, I twist my mouth away from him.

“No, Eric, don’t! Stop it! Let me go!” His hand pulls out of my pants and he slaps me, hard, across the face.

“Shut up.” He reaches down and begins unzipping his pants and pulling his dick out, and then reaches back to the front of my pants; and now I am terrified.

Adrenaline is rushing through my system, and as he tugs at my pants I swiftly bring up a leg and knee him right in the crotch. He grunts and his grip on my wrists loosens. Yanking my arms in opposite directions I free myself and send a fist flying into his nose. One of his hands flies to his face while the other tries to grip my arm. I aim a swift kick at his knee, and he goes down, hard, one hand still clutching his face and the other cradling his crotch.

“You bitch! YOU BITCH!” He screams at me as I run away. Fear and anger war inside me as the tears start to run down my face. Instinctually, I head to the person I know will protect me.

I’m sobbing by the time I make it to Lee’s bedside. I shake him a little, and crawl in next to him before he is fully awake, curling against his chest. I repeat his name over and over as I cry desperately trying to pull myself as close to him as I can. He wraps an arm around me and strokes my hair trying to calm me down.

“Shh, sugar, what’s the matter? What happened?” His voice tightens with anxiety as he registers the violence of my tears.

“Lee! Lee, he…he tried to…” I can’t say it. I don’t want to make it real that way.

“It’s all right darlin’. I’m right here, but I can’t help you if you won’t tell me what’s wrong.”

“He tried to…he tried…” I force it out. “He was going to RAPE me!” I descend into another bout of wracking sobs. I feel Lee tense and his voice is dead when he speaks.

“Who?”

“E…Eric.” A guttural noise comes from the back of his throat, and I feel him try to detach himself from me, but I throw my arms around his neck and cling to him as if my life depended on it, which it feels like it does, not wanting him to leave me. A soft voice sounds from across the room, approaching as it speaks.

“Is she alright?” Brian moves to kneel next to the bed, and I feel his hand brush my hair.

“I think so. Eric tried to…hurt her.” Lee’s voice strains as he says it. Brian’s hand continues to stroke my hair.

“Where is he Nic?” His voice is calm, soothing.

“B…between the barracks… and the lavs.” My desperate sobbing is slowly quieting, but my tears run unabated.

“Take care of her.” Brian’s voice is cold as he stands and strides out of the room.

Lee continues to stroke my face and hair, whispering reassurances to me as I cry. I need him. I need that sunlight he possesses to drive away the darkness clouding my mind. In a frenzy, I press myself against him and kiss him heatedly. For a moment he is thrown off, but out of some need of his own, he begins to respond to me with equal passion. His hand begins to slip down from my face, but he hesitates. Maybe he is unsure how I’ll react after what has just happened to me. But I need Lee to drive the thought of Eric touching me that way out of my head. I grasp his hand and slip it down between my legs, letting him feel how wet I am already. The aftermath of adrenaline can do some funny things to your body. He pulls back, startled, searching my face for something.

“Please.” My voice is still full of tears and I can’t do much more than whisper it to him, but the look on my face is enough to convince him, and he nods.

I grip his shoulders to pull him on top of me and resume kissing him feverishly. I slip out of my pajama pants and underwear and wrap my legs around him. He pulls himself out of his boxers and guides his cock into me and I am filled with his heat. My tears begin to dry as he slides in and out of me. My heightened emotions push me toward climax quickly and I moan and shiver as he brings me to my pleasure. It’s like my dream. Even though my eyes are shut tight, the sunlight from his face pierces through my eyelids and washes over me like a calm wave. I feel safe with him: safe and wanted. He comes and slumps down next to me on the bed, still holding me in his arms. I pull my pants back on and stretch up to gently kiss his jaw. He reciprocates, kissing my forehead, and I fall asleep in his arms, snuggled against his chest.

I feel a vibration against my ear and slowly wake to the sound of Lee’s voice as he talks to someone else in the room.

“…about a half an hour ago. Poor lil’ thing cried herself to sleep.” He left out the part where I solicited him for trauma sex, but that’s okay by me. The sweet concern in his voice turns to cold metal. “Did you find him?”

“Yeah, he didn’t get very far. I planned on letting him have it before bringing him to the Instructor, but I didn’t need to do much. She pretty well took care of him.” Lee’s chest bounces a little as he lets out a low laugh.

“What’d she do?”

“Broke his nose, shattered his knee, and probably gave him some…reproductive issues. He might be one nut short of a pair from now on. I just added a few broken ribs to the list.” Lee stifles his laughter with a hand to his face.

“Good for her; she’s one tough little lady.” I keep my eyes closed and pretend to still be asleep when he strokes my face.

“Yes she is.” It’s barely there, but knowing what I know, I can hear the affection in Brian’s quiet voice. “I don’t know what you did to make her so mad Lee, but you’d better pray to whatever gods you believe in that she forgives you. There’s no replacing her.”

“Don’t I know it.” Both men are quiet for a moment, and I can tell they’re both watching me.

“The Instructor wants to see her as soon as possible, but he said not to wake her if she was sleeping. Are you alright to stay with her?”

“Yeah, I’ll stay awake; tell her if she wakes up.”

“Okay. I’m going to go back to the Command Room and wait for the police to get out here.”

Brian reaches out and lightly brushes his fingers against my hair before his soft footsteps retreat out of the barracks. I shift a little against Lee’s chest and his hand cups my face.

“Nic, darlin’, you awake?” I reach up and put my hand on his and snuggle closer to his chest.

“No.” Eventually, I’ll have to face this, but for now, I just want to stay in the warm comfort of Lee’s arms. He chuckles and pulls me tighter against him making me sigh in contentment.

“Alright then. You just let me know when you are.” He slides down from his seated position, pulling me down with him and pulls the blanket up around me and I drift off in his arms once more.

I am asleep for a few more hours before I wake to the growing pre-dawn light outside the window. Lee has fallen asleep next to me, his face buried in my hair. Slowly, careful not to wake him, I extract myself from the circle of his arms and climb out of the bed to put my clothes on. Lee groans in his sleep and rolls into the warmth from the spot I just vacated onto his stomach. I bend down and kiss him lightly on the forehead.

“‘Structor wants to see you.” If I hadn’t already known, I probably wouldn’t have been able to decipher his mumblings.

“Okay. You just go back to sleep.” I kiss his lips lightly, amazed at how things seem to change so fast around Lee.

“Okay.”

Brian is not in the barracks or the lav and the Command Room is empty as well. When I near the Instructor’s quarters I hear several low voices. I am unsure whether I should interrupt or not, but I am fairly certain that whoever is in there is probably talking about me anyway. I knock on the door and after a few seconds, Brian emerges, closing the door behind him. He studies my face and takes a hesitant step toward me.

“Are you alright?” His voice is soft and filled with concern; his forehead slightly creased in worry.

“I’m fine.”

“Are you sure?” He reaches up and gingerly brushes his fingers against my cheek, making me aware of the growing bruise there. I take his hand in my own pulling it away from the tender spot on my face and just hold it for a moment.

“I’m sure. Thank you Brian.” He slowly pulls his hand away from mine.

“Only doing what any soldier should do for another.” I can’t help the beaming smile the spreads across my face. Brian gets me in a way Lee does not. A slight answering smile touches Brian’s lips.

“And you are an excellent soldier.”

He nods in gratitude, still smiling, and opens the door for me, quietly closing it behind me as I enter the Instructor’s quarters. Two police officers stand when I enter and for some reason the sight of them makes me nervous. Reflexively, I reach back for reassurance from Brian, and when my fingers brush the wood of the door I realize he is not there. The Instructor stands and motions to a chair across the desk several feet from the officers. I sink in to the chair and the men resume their seats. The Instructor takes a deep breath and begins.

“Eric has been taken into custody, at least for the night, and these officers would like to get your statement so they can charge him and get a hold of the District Attorney.” He begins to stand. “If you prefer, I can step out in order for you to do so.”

I shake my head and he sits back down. I’m quite sure Brian had to explain the whole situation to him before calling the police anyhow. I recount the episode to the policemen as faithfully as I can, doing a decent job of keeping all of my tears at bay. When I get to the part of how I escaped by using physical force I remember what Brian told Lee about Eric’s ribs and state that I may have kicked him when he went down, but that the details are fuzzy at that point. I don’t like to lie, but I don’t want Brian to get in trouble for helping me. Once they have asked all their questions, the officers take their leave and the Instructor sits behind his desk, tapping his fingers together, contemplating me.

“I’ll be honest with you recruit; I’m not quite sure how to handle this situation.” He stands and begins pacing back and forth behind his desk. “Physically you seem to be fine, except for that shiner developing on your face there. But if you feel mentally unable to continue with your training…” I jump out of my chair, unable to sit still.

“Permission to speak, sir.” He nods. “I’ll admit I am a bit shaken up. And though I’ve never dealt with anything this severe, as a woman in the service I have had my fair share of encounters with sexual harassment. I am completely capable of continuing my training, sir.”

“If you’re sure recruit.” It’s my turn to nod. “Then we will postpone this morning’s activities. Meet in the Command Room at 01300. You’re dismissed.”

There is no movement in the barracks, and Brian is not in sight. I hope that means he went to get a few more hours of sleep. I wander down to the dock and sit at the end, just watching as the rising sun lights up the surrounding landscape. My mind wants to shy away from thoughts of that night, but I know I have to deal with it, and sooner is probably better than later. A few tears track down my face when the thought ‘it isn’t fair’ runs through my mind. But I brush them, and the thought, away and focus on the relief that I feel that I was able to use my training to get away before the situation got worse. And I smile at Brian’s report of Eric’s injuries, not because I was able to exact a little vengeance, though that is nice, but because I am powerful enough to take down a man six inches taller than me who weighs half again what I do.

Eventually, my mind quiets and the incident already begins to fade into merely an unpleasant memory. Lee joins me, bringing an egg on a piece of toast and a glass of water for me with him. We gaze out at the lake, watching in silence. As we sit my stomach starts to work itself into knots. I know Lee will want to talk about everything that’s happened. Only half the egg and toast is gone when I just can’t eat anymore. Putting the rest back onto the plate, I decide to dive in instead of delaying the inevitable, like ripping off a band-aid, and turn toward Lee, who is already looking at me.

“Are you alright, sugar?” A hand on my chin, he turns my face slightly to see the bruise on my face where Eric hit me. Anger briefly flashes in his eyes.

“I’m fine.” I motion to my face. “This is probably going to hurt for a few days, but otherwise, I’m okay, really.”

“And are you still mad at me?” He drops his gaze from my face to study his hands in his lap. The abject sadness in his voice breaks my heart, and I scoot closer to him. Kneeling next to him, I put my hands on his face and wait until he looks up at me.

“No, I’m not. But we should probably talk about why I was mad in the first place. Do you know why?” He hangs his head again.

“Because I broke my promise. You asked me not to treat you different, and I did.” His voice is full of self-contempt, and it melts any remaining hurt and anger from me. I stroke his face, gently, wondering what to say next when his eyes flash back up to my face. “But I can’t help it. Even before, before I made love to you, it’s just in me to want to protect you. And not because I think you’re fragile or that you can’t protect yourself. I know you can. But because I …care about you, and I want to be there for you when you need me. And I want to make things easier for you, and make you feel safe. I think…I think I’m fallin’ in love with you, Nic.”

His words literally take my breath away, and when I remember to inhale it comes as a sharp, shuddering gasp. It’s like Lee is the sun and his bright light bleaches out everything around us until all I can see is him. His face is anxious, unsure of what my reaction to his words will be. I am still, transfixed by his admission.

“With me?!” My voice comes out all high and squeaky.

It’s one thing to think yourself in love with someone, but it’s another fucking thing to hear that person say they might be in love with you too. I don’t give him an opportunity to answer, pressing my lips against his ardently. His hands find their way to my waist, pulling me tighter against him. We’re both breathing hard when I pull away, stroking his hair and smiling so hard it feels like my face might break.

“I think I’m falling in love with you too.” My voice is soft in reply and he grins and holds me close to him, burying his face in my hair.