Alarm

Disclaimer: All characters are mine

Summary: Hal Carson, a jaded Detective, lost his partner, Jim Walker, in a warehouse shooting. He has a tumultuous relationship with his ex, Leah Laverne, but they draw close through Hal’s emotional crisis. Can he work a case that involves her?


Warnings: m/f, angst, lemon

** Asterisks indicate thoughts

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Chapter Five


Leah sat in the living room, Hal having already disappeared to his bedroom for the night. He had been surprisingly cordial when she had come over, accepting his dinner gratefully, showing her to her room before taking a seat and eating. His place was nice, a small home, simply decorated. He had never been the kind of man for fancy furniture (though he did like the look of black leather sofas and loveseats when they were a couple), instead opting for a comfortable look. Wood tables, counters, and chairs, cushioned sofas, and a plush armchair where she was certain he would spend many nights there with a good book or reading over police reports.

A large screen television seemed to be the centerpiece of the living room. Game consoles were tucked neatly into the small compartment underneath the flatscreen, as well as several DVDs. From where she was seated, she noticed that all the videos she had given him during their time together were missing.

*Well, what do you expect? Everything that he gave me is now stuffed in a box somewhere*

Tired, she left for her bedroom, pausing beside Hal’s room. The door had been pulled closed, making a barrier between the two. She hoped, that during her time spent there, that they could perhaps clear the air between them. It was the right thing to do.


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Leah was up before Hal, which was an uncommon occurrence. He had always been the first one up and about in the morning, so she guessed it had something to do with the painkillers. Although she never had to be put on any sort of pain suppressant for a long period of time, she heard that it could make someone very drowsy. She would leave Hal alone for the time being, figuring that he would get up when he felt like it.

She had finished preparing breakfast just as he was emerging from his room, hair mussed and blue eyes blinking sleepily. She set his breakfast on the table, turning back towards the kitchen for her own.

“Food’s ready.” Leah said, disappearing into the kitchen. Hal made his way over to the table, sitting by the plate. He dug in, happy that he would not have to be the one to prepare his own meals. Besides, he was a terrible cook anyway. He knew Leah would have made something delicious.

They ate together, but did not exchange any words. When Hal was done, he excused himself to go shower. He had grown nearly fed up with the sponge baths he had received while in the hospital, and was looking forward to doing that himself again. Leah cleared the plates off the table and washed them in the sink while Hal was in the bathroom, content with the dim sound of running water.

If they could keep up the pleasant attitude with one another, things could go very smoothly during her stay. So long as none of the old animosity bubbled up, they could be somewhat happy in the same house.


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Hal lay on the sofa, pillows behind his back propping him up somewhat. The area where the stitches used to be were still very tender, but he found that if he didn’t move around a lot, the discomfort was minimal. Leah had been very good about looking after him, to the point where all Hal had to do was sit back and relax, allowing his body to heal properly.

The phone started to ring, Leah picking it up since it was out of reach for Hal. He watched her as she answered, the image bringing back old memories. When he saw her expression turn apprehensive, he sat up slightly.

“One moment.” Leah sat, moving towards Hal. He raised his eyebrow as she handed the phone to him, looking ill when he saw her mouth, ‘your mother’. He held the portable phone up to his ear, trying to sound as lighthearted as possible.

“Hi Mom.” He said, turning away from Leah. He knew right away that his mother would be curious about why Leah had answered the phone, since the two of them hadn’t been together in nearly two years.

“Hello dear. That was Leah, wasn’t it?” Yes, too curious for her own good. Hal cleared his throat, uncomfortable with the situation he was placed in. Leah could sense that he wanted some privacy, leaving the living room so that he could talk to his mother without Leah listening in to his side of the conversation.

“Yes, it was.”

“Oh really! Are you two back together again? You know, I always said it was a mistake that the two of you separated. She’s a good woman. Is she doing well? Have you sorted out your issues? You know, you can’t live like you used to. It’s important that you realize that’s all water under the bridge.”

Hal had to interrupt his mother, or else he wouldn’t get a word in edgewise. He knew his mother loved Leah, and thought that they were perfect for one another. At a time, they had been, but times had changed. His mother knew that as well, so he didn’t know why she would be so quick to think he and Leah had pushed the problem aside and fixed their relationship.

“No Mom. Leah and I aren’t together. She’s just having to be over for a bit.” It was silent for a moment.

“Why would she need to be over? Are you hurt? Tell me what’s wrong baby.” Now she was getting her motherly voice on. Hal had to find some way of letting her know a little bit of what happened without going into all the gruesome details.

“Well…I was out on a call, and it turned ugly. In the long and short of it, Frank was killed, and I was injured. Leah is over looking after me for now, but we are not together.” Again, his mother was silent. She knew that Frank was his partner, and how he must be feeling right now.

“Oh, my poor, poor child. Do you need me to come over? How badly are you injured?”

“No and no. It’s okay. Please don’t worry about it. I just need a little bit of help, and Leah’s been looking after me.”

“She’s a good woman.”

He didn’t need to say that he felt the same way. His mother knew him all too well, even more that Leah did. His mother had been pushing for him to get back together with her again, and had talked to him extensively after all that happened that caused them to break up.

“Listen, I have to go. I’m on painkillers, so they make me drowsy.”

“Okay Hal. I’ll call back later. I want to talk to Leah too sometime, I haven’t talked to the girl for such a long time.”

“Fine. Talk to you later.”

“Bye.”

Hal hung up the phone, raising his hands to rub at his temples. He loved his mother, but she had a problem with prying into other people’s business. She couldn’t play matchmaker – he was 34, able to make his own decisions, call his own shots. As much as his mother adored Leah, it was destined to not work out.

Leah came back into the living room a short while later, taking a seat on the end of the sofa. She turned to look at Hal, her bronze eyes holding a sad light in them.

“I haven’t talked to your mom in a long time.” She said quietly. Hal sighed.

“Yeah, she wants to talk to you again sometime.”

It was quiet, the air slightly awkward and tense. As much as the two of them wanted to delay the painful conversation as long as possible, it had a funny way of sticking itself between them. Hal knew what Leah was going to ask even before she spoke.

“How is she doing, by the way? I know it would be hard, what she has gone through.” What she has gone through. It was as hard on Hal as it was his mother, but he knew that Leah didn’t want to bring his emotions into the mix. She didn’t mention it because he knew that she didn’t want to draw up his feelings as well. It was hard not to though, since she was referring to Hal’s father, his mother’s husband.

“She’s fine. She’s a strong woman. Sometimes she does better than….”

“Than you.” Leah finished quietly, smiling sadly. Hal didn’t need to acknowledge it. Leah knew everything that had gone on. It was the first event to cause the crumbling of their relationship. Near Christmas, two years ago, Hal’s father had died in a freak shooting. Some drive-by in a grocery store parking lot, a car full of young men armed with handguns. Hal’s father had been caught off guard, and the poor man had died that evening.

Hal was very close to his parents, so the death of his father in such a meaningless act had made him angry and very, very upset. When she had first met him, Hal had been open about his feelings, the type to tell you when he was angry or if he needed a little time for himself. She had never seen him cry though.

With his father’s death, Hal began to shut her out instead of letting out his pain and talking to her about it. Work had been especially stressful that year, but he had always been good at expressing his feelings. He started to bottle up his emotions instead of releasing them, distancing himself from Leah. She tried to draw him out, but to no avail.

His mother tried to encourage him to talk to Leah, but he couldn’t do it. For whatever reason, the death of his father had triggered a strange reaction in him, making it so he was almost unable to talk to her about it, to acknowledge his misery.

“I can tell she was worried about you too.” Hal said, refusing to look Leah in the eye. His father’s death had been one thing, and he knew that it tore Leah up inside because she thought that he didn’t trust her enough to talk about it. That wasn’t the case at all though. He had felt so much grief, that the only way to handle it was to shove it behind closed doors. To bring it out would cause an emotional storm, one he felt he was not able to go through yet.

The problem escalated between him and Leah though, on Christmas Eve. They had planned to spend it with Hal’s mother, since the holiday would be too painful alone, without her husband. Leah had been almost seven months pregnant then.

Hal had told himself that it was selfish of him to close himself off to Leah when she was expecting their first child. Although he was not able to overcome the invisible obstacle of talking to her about all the hurt he was experiencing, he tried his best to include her in everything else, so she wouldn’t feel left out.

On the way though, they hit a patch of black ice that flipped the car and sent them rolling off the side of the road, a tree eventually stopping them. He had fallen unconscious almost immediately, but from what Leah had told him after the fact, she had been awake and alone in the darkness for a long while before help had arrived.

She had thought he was dead at first. He had a vicious cut in his forehead, the hit against the side window was what knocked him out. Leah had been in a tremendous amount of pain, waiting for the ambulance.

She had suffered a miscarriage because of the accident. He had been out for the whole evening, learning after that he had lost a daughter. Leah had to birth the child, without him there, knowing that what was coming out of her was already dead. It was a traumatic and heartbreaking experience.

They were supposed to be wed in a traditional ceremony after the baby had been born. That hadn’t happened though. That year had been the worst one in their entire lives. His mother was heartbroken, trying her best to help Hal and Leah overcome the death of their daughter. It didn’t help though, and instead of relying on one another to get them through that tough time, they turned on each other instead.

Grief was let out through fighting, and a misunderstanding would make them not speak to each other for days. They should have handled it better, but they did not know how. They should have gone to a grief counselor, but they were too stubborn.

Knowing that things were not going to work out, and the pain of seeing one another was too much, Hal and Leah had gone their separate ways, still grieving, and deep down, still needing each other. It was too late by then, or so they thought, to work things out.

Funny how fate would bring them back together, and Hal thought it was entirely too cruel. Seeing Leah again, her beauty, her personality, looking much the same as he remembered, brought back painful memories of what happened, and also the good times they shared, as if mocking him.

There was no way to dispute that he still loved her. He hadn’t been with anyone else after they had separated. He had been prepared to marry her and spend the rest of their lives together, raising their daughter, as well as any other children they might have had. Those dreams had been ripped apart though, thrown on the ground and stomped on like a schoolyard bully with a weaker child’s toy.

Now with Frank dead and Leah back in his life, he felt like he was revisiting all the same issues. He needed to open up this time and talk to her about it, but he was starting to feel the same thing, that same invisible roadblock that he had experienced with his father’s death. If he went back to that, Leah would never get through to him, and then the fighting and the hurt between them would start up again.

To make the situation worse, after the miscarriage, he felt like he was responsible for it. He had never said that though, but he lay the blame entirely on himself. He had been driving that night, he should have gone slower incase they hit ice, should have stopped the car from rolling, should have done this or that…

If Leah knew that he thought that way, she would think him for a fool. Although he had told himself several times that it was an accident, his conscience argued otherwise. It was a vicious circle.

“Hal, are you alright?” Leah was rubbing his knee, looking at him worriedly. The absolute look of despair in his eyes concerned her to no end. She had no doubt that the car accident was on his mind, since his mother was probably worried about her because of that. Although her body had healed long ago, the thought that she had lost a child was always on her mind. Hal blinked, startled out of his thoughts, and raised wide eyes to look at Leah. He seemed as lost as he did during that time.

“What?” He said, confused. Leah squeezed his knee.

“I asked if you were alright.”

He shrugged, concealing the pain in his face brought on by his thoughts. He looked into her eyes, a strong but reluctant gaze.

“Fine, considering what I’ve been through. I’m getting tired though, so I think I’m going to lie down for awhile.”

He rose, walking towards his bedroom. Leah followed, not the least bit reassured by his answer. Knowing that she was close behind him, he paused and turned around when he had reached the doorway to his room. Leah stopped, a few feet in-between them.

“I want you to talk to me later.” She said, forcefully but not threatening. Hal tried to not let the shock show in his face.

“What about?” He asked, trying to appear nonchalant. Leah’s steady gaze unnerved him though. She wasn’t letting it go.

“You know what it’s about. Everything.” Hal tore his eyes away from hers, studying the doorframe. He didn’t want to talk about anything, but he couldn’t go on much longer burying everything. If he did, he would just collapse into an emotional wreck. Leah knew that, and she was probably doing it to help him. He felt miserable though, and didn’t want to get into their issues, and what had happened to Frank.

“Later. I really don’t want to talk about it right now.” Hal sounded slightly desperate, his tone of voice obvious to Leah. He shocked himself by the way he sounded.

*Talking about us and Frank might be good for me though…* He tried to convince himself, though it was a little hard to believe. He was stuck in his old ways, to the point where Leah would probably have to pry all the information out of him.

*Don’t forget that she’s hurting too* He reminded himself, looking at the woman before him. She was to be the mother of their child, she was the woman who he had shared his most intimate and loving moments with, a person he used to be able to confide in.

When things had gone wrong, she had been just as involved as he. Although it was his father that passed away, she had been hurting from that too. After all, she loved his father like he was her own, and had been a part of his family right from the get-go. Pushing her away had been the wrong thing to do, but he couldn’t control it. It got to the point where his mannerisms were rubbing off on her, so that after the death of their child, she started to close him off as well.

*As I said before, a vicious circle*

He wanted to find humour in it, but there was none. It hadn’t been God’s fault in what happened, he realized, but an unfortunate set of events that they had been a part of. Wrong place at the wrong time. Life was cruel.

*But what about all the good moments you shared? In the long run, there were far more of them than painful moments*

The painful moments had made too strong of an impact though, forcing him to forget all the times that they spent together that were wonderful. When he stepped back to think of it from that perspective, it took his breath away. The terrible moments were traumatic, but the other – they were beautiful. How could he not have realized that before?

Stepping into his room, he closed the door behind him, leaning against it weakly. Had Leah thought of all this before? Suddenly, he felt very dense, remembering in full all the breathtaking moments they had experienced together. The first date, first kiss, and even the first time they made love. He remembered her smiles and silliness, what his sheets smelled like after she had slept in his bed, the way she held onto him tightly as he thrust into her. The way she looked at him when he told her he loved her, and her excitement, as well as his, when she told him she was pregnant.

Could that possibly outweigh the bad? For a long time, it didn’t. Now that he allowed himself to think about it though, he realized he was a fool for pushing her away, and she was a fool for accepting it. They were both at fault for this, and he wondered if they would ever be able to put the broken pieces together and move on.



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A/N: Thanks for reading, more to come soon. Please review!

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