Splitsville (Unedited Draft)

Chapter Five- Mary Lives and Breathes Anne

MARYANNE\'S DORMROOM...

Mary thought it was surreally not surreal to wake up naked and randomly enmeshed with Anne in the morning- she loved Anne, so she just rolled over to line their bodies up more completely and went back to sleep. Minutes later, the alarm clock chimed and Anne got out of the bed. Mary missed her and she knew she ought to get up, too, maybe offer to be the one to go clean them up and pee, but sleep was really, really good. Anne let her sleep and got ready for both of them- Anne was so good to her- she really loved Anne. Before she left, Anne nudged Mary awake, pointed to a TODO list on the desk and kissed her soundly. She really, really loved Anne.

After another hour, Mary got up and read the TODO list by holding it up to the mirror. The top of the list was three more chapters out of New Dimensions in Physics. Ugh! She hated reading from that nasty book, but Anne insisted that they both do their physics at the same time and Anne had been listening to Professor Drake discuss some guy named Planck for fifteen minutes already. And Mary loved Anne, so she pulled the big tome off the shelf and snuggled in on their bed to read. Mary really, really, really loved Anne.

The reading went easier than it had last time she\'d done it- but she\'d been Maryanne back then and Maryanne was just a little different that Mary and Anne were- less that the sum of her parts. How had that happened? Mary actually finished the reading before Drake\'s double lecture was over. She took a pee brake, got a soda and a bag of chips at the vending machine in the common area and came back to the room to check what Anne wanted her to do next. The next backwards directive on the page was to work a shift at the no-kill shelter across town, but that didn\'t start for three hours. Mary was at loose ends. She considered organizing her CD collection, but rejected that because hadn\'t she just read three chapters of physics? What was she Superwoman?

Instead, Mary thoroughly enjoyed each and every one of the sour cream and onion potato chips, making sure that Anne would taste them, as well. Then she licked off her salty, spicy, greasy fingers and found herself taking much more care at it than ever before because she knew Anne could feel it and Mary had discovered that she loved teasing Anne. She sucked and she licked and she nibbled and she could feel Anne getting annoyed. She really loved teasing Anne.

Mary figured, in for a penny, in for a pound and moved over to the bed. If a little finger tease annoyed Annie, wait \'til she felt this....

***

THE BRUNII BUILDING...

Anne had twenty-five more minutes of lecture to endure and wasn\'t sure she was gonna make it. Waves of boredom had been coming off Mary since she finished the reading and it made paying attention in class much more difficult. The life and times of Max Planck wasn\'t the most exciting to begin with, you know. Still, the concepts were starting to click into place, now that physics was such an important part of her life. There could come a day soon when she really needed to know some of this stuff. There could come a day soon when she was going to have to explain how she got to be two people to her parents and old friends and she didn\'t want to sound completely ignorant about it all. Mary didn\'t seem to want to see all that. Mary only saw the upside of this whole thing- and yeah, there was a lot of upside- they\'d found even more just the night before, but there was downside, too. They had to figure out how to deal with the downside- no- Anne had to figure that out. Mary wouldn\'t be any help on that front for sure.

Speaking of downside- Mary liked to eat all the wrong things, as exemplified by the fact that she was snacking on chips and soda instead of going to the dining hall and getting some fruit and green tea, like Anne would have liked. Still, she had saved Anne from missing a bit of lecture to go to the ladies room and Anne was a bit hungry and- ooo they were sour cream and onion. Mary did have great taste in junk food. Anne not to let herself concentrate on the tastes Mary was sending her instead of the lecture, but it was kinda impossible because- well because Mary was a bad influence on her. She was a bad influence on herself.

Anne tried to ignore the exaggerated finger action- was Mary trying to distract her? But, it was too nice a sensation and Anne found herself licking her lips in sympathy....

***

MARYANNE\'S DORMROOM...

Mary really hadn\'t meant to let it go so far, really, she hadn\'t! She had just lain down on the bed planning to give herself a mocking little massage to get Anne\'s attention, because she really, really loved annoying Anne. It was like pulling on Anne\'s pigtails or humming an annoying song so it would get stuck in Anne\'s head, but it had sort of escalated beyond her control. Just thinking about Annie feeling what she was feeling had made every motion, every caress more heated and naughty- even through her clothes. And now- now Mary was laying on their bed, her hand up under her shirt, smoothing back and forth over her nipple under the lace of her brassiere, making ripples of sensation flash across it and a strange wiggling commotion in her belly. In a moment, she wasn\'t gonna be able to keep from working her way down into her panties to look for release. In the back of her mind, Mary knew she should stop and wait until Anne was back, but she didn\'t- couldn’t care about that now- she needed it so bad.

***

THE BRUNII BUILDING...

Anne wasn\'t going to be able to contain herself much longer. She would have left class several minutes ago if she wasn\'t sitting up front, but she had chosen a first row seat so she could see and hear better, so now she was trapped. She would have to cross the entire length of the lecture hall and climb up the risers to the door at the back to leave and everyone, Professor Drake especially, but everyone would see her leaving all flustered. So she had decided to endure the sexual torture Mary was putting her through in silent stillness. That had been a mistake. Anne was getting close and Maryanne had never been quiet in that state- she just couldn\'t keep it in when she felt so damn good.

Now her breathing was coming hard and if she didn\'t keep biting her lip, she\'d be moaning out loud. She had only one choice. She didn\'t even gather her books up- her arms wouldn\'t hold them now anyway. She just grabbed her backpack and hurried as quietly as she could towards the stairs.

\"Miss,\" Professor Drake\'s voice sounded from behind her when she was only halfway up the staircase. \"Miss, what\'s got you in such a hurry that you feel you have the right to disturb the entire class while you depart?\" Anne froze, standing still hurt, but she couldn\'t ignore the Professor at that moment and have any chance of passing the class. \"We\'re waiting, Miss,\" he insisted. Anne took a deep, ragged breath in a fruitless attempt to calm her body and slowly turned to face her doom.

***

MARYANNE\'S DORMROOM...

Mary had her pants around her ankles now, her hand working hard, small circles over her clit and Oh Damn, but she was close. She was getting off almost as much on how mad Anne seemed to be at her- the panic rush coming from Anne was doing seriously good things to Mary\'s head- she was the good kind of dizzy. Mary kicked her pants and knickers the rest of the way off and worked two of her fingers inside- oh yes- she slid them slowly in and out and that was just it, just right, just just- just not enough. She sped her hand, rocking it in harder, faster, her hips adding to the motion, the fingers of her other hand digging into her own thigh and icing the pleasure with a sweet little pain.

***

THE BRUNII BUILDING...

\"Uh-\" she gasped. She took another kinda grunty breath and tried again. \"Female troubles?\" she said in a loud, hoarse whisper.

\"I beg your pardon. Speak up and tell the class why whatever you are rushing off to is more important than this lecture and the educational careers of all these other students.\"

\"I- I said,\" she took another breath, \"female troublesss,\" she hissed louder and then she couldn\'t wait any longer- she turned and ran for the door, while the class sputtered into laughter.

Anne raced down the hall, the running making her dizzy, but also making the sensations between her legs more controllable. She fell against the door to the ladies room and pushed it open. It was mercifully empty, but she dragged herself into a stall and fumbled the lock closed anyway. Oh, God it was so good. She held on to the side wall of the stall and let herself fall into the amazing thing Mary was doing to her from across campus.

Anne managed to drop one hand down from the partition, undo her pants and work them far enough down to slide her hand down her belly and into the aching folds of flesh in her panties. Oh, yes, she humped hard against her fingers and couldn\'t help but clutch harder onto the stall, her forehead pressing against the coldness of the painted metal. Yes. And a moment later Anne let out a desperate keening cry as she came. A similar sound echoed in her ears from the far off location of the dorm.

As Anne thanked the wall for being sturdy enough to keep her off her ass and tried to catch her breath, she numbered the ways she was going to kill Mary.

MARYANNE\'S DORMROOM...

Mary was quite a picture, lying half-naked on the bed entangled in the blankets and deep in slumber. She looked so perfectly, sexily content, Anne almost didn\'t want to wake her. Almost. The one second that Anne paused to appreciate Mary over, Anne sat gently on the bed next to her doppelganger and stroked her arm.

\"Mary, Mar-ryyy,\" she sing-songed. \"Wake up sweet, sweet Maria.\" She nuzzled Mary\'s neck. Mary gave a little moan and moved her head to the left a little to give Anne more leeway. Anne pushed herself over the very willing Mary, grabbing loosely around each wrist and pinning them against the mattress above her head. Mary open her eyes to find Anne astride her and glaring down at her.

\"Hey, Annie,\" she greeted sleepily. \"You\'re home.\"

\"I\'m home. I\'m home? Is that all you have to say to me?\" Anne asked, sounding quite irked and punctuating her question by tightening her grip on Mary\'s wrists. \"Do you have any idea what you did to me, you selfish little, little- Miss Hyde!\"

\"Uh- so you\'re angry?\" Mary guessed, trying to look cutely naughty. She wasn\'t that good at cutely naughty.

\"I was in a room full of people- so it was leave before the end of class or pass out cigarettes to everybody there,\" Anne ranted and Mary giggled at that. \"And Professor Drake called me on leaving front of everyone.\"

\"Oh shit, Annie- I didn\'t mean-\" Mary didn\'t stop laughing.

\"So there I was, standing in the middle of the room, trying to say something intelligible while you were having yourself a gay old time!\" That made Mary laugh even harder, which made Anne even angrier. How could she not care what she\'d put Anne through? \"Damn it, Mary. We were just starting to get somewhere in that class and now the professor hates me.\"

Mary managed to get her tittering under control and said, \"I\'m sorry. I really didn\'t mean to make that much trouble. I was just bored.\" Since Mary seemed to be starting to tale this seriously, Anne sat up, releasing her wrists.

\"So why didn\'t you do something else- anything else. Why didn\'t you read some more or do some laundry or organize the CDs? Why did you have to embarrass me in front of a room full of people?\" Anne questioned, still fuming.

\"I said, I\'m sorry. What else do you want me to do?\" Mary rubbed one of her now freed hands idly over one of Anne\'s knees.

\"Not that,\" Anne responded, removing Mary\'s hand from her knee and getting off her to pace the room. \"I want an apology that sounds like you actually mean it.\"

Mary got up, wrapped the sheet round her in deference to Anne\'s Not that, put on a sincere expression and said, \"I\'m really, really sorry.\"

\"Thank you.\"

\"You\'re welcome, Annie.\" Mary smirked. \"It was good, though,\" she pressed.

\"And, I want you to promise you won\'t do that again, like ever.\" Anne wouldn\'t budge, wouldn\'t admit how much she liked it- Mary didn\'t need that kind of encouragement.

\"Come on, you liked it- long distance was just as interesting as last night when we were all mixed up together was,\" Mary contested.

\"And, I want you to skip going to the shelter and instead go to Professor Drake\'s office hours and make it right. We can\'t fail his class.\"

\"But- puppies,\" Mary pouted prettily.

\"I get the puppies. You get the Drake.\" Anne was totally resolute- so totally resolute. She crossed her arms and everything.

\"Okay,\" Mary conceded and bent down to retrieve her discarded clothing.

***

THE BRUNII BUILDING...

On her way over to Professor Drake\'s new temporary office- the old one now being under a pile of ash in the burned out Physics Building- on her way to Drake\'s office, Mary had alternated between trying to figure out why she had done what she had done when she had done it and hadn\'t had the patience or sense to wait and planning out what the hell to say to explain Anne\'s behavior in class. A moment\'s concentration on what Anne had experienced and she had way more sympathy for Anne than she had shown back in the dorm. She loved Anne, really loved her- she shouldn\'t have done that to her.

Back in a basement again, Mary reached the office without figuring out what to say. She was too occupied with how bad she\'d been to Anne. Still, she had to go inside- his office hours were going to be over soon and she\'d miss him. Just before Mary opened the door, she could have sworn someone was watching her from down the hall. She stopped, her hand on the doorknob, and looked behind her. There was nobody there. Mary took a moment to collect herself, flipped her hair back and braced herself for battle.

Professor Drake sat alone at the small desk in the small office, working on an ancient looking computer. He looked up expectantly as Mary walked in, but then he recognized her and blushed one hundred and thirteen shades of pink.

\"Oh, Miss- Miss- What is your name? I lost all my roll books in a fire,\" he explained flusteredly.

\"Mary- Maryanne Twombly. I just wanted to apologize for disturbing the class today-\" Mary began.

\"No, please. It was an, an emergency, correct?\" Professor Drake queried.

\"Oh, yes,\" Mary answered thankful that he was being so kind about it. \"It was definitely an emergency- completely and utterly beyond control,\" Mary vowed. Who\'s control it was beyond she fudged just a little.

\"So, you\'re feeling better, now?\" he asked, gesturing vaguely at Mary\'s midriff, embarrassedly.

\"Much better, thank you.\"

\"So, let\'s just put it behind us, shall we?\"

\"That sounds great, Professor,\" Mary agreed. \"I\'ll just get out of your hair,\" she told him, cringing as she suddenly re-noticed his bald head and reached for the knob to open the door. It was stuck. Or maybe locked. She gave her professor a quick uncomfortable smile and tried again. It was really stuck.

\"Do you need a hand, Miss Twombly?\" he offered from behind her.

\"Uh, yeah. It\'s sticking on me.\" She stepped back to give him room as he gave the knob a firm tug.

\"Oh my, it is a bit persnickety, isn\'t it?\" He tugged harder, but it wasn\'t happening. \"I\'ll just give maintenance a call. This office was storage until a few days ago- the fire, you know.\"

Mary was only half listening. She was distracted by that odd smell. Was that here or at the shelter where Anne was? She concentrated on separating whose nose was smelling what- it was hard to do.

\"Oh dear,\" Professor Drake said as he put the phone receiver down again without talking into it. Anne was smelling normal cat and dog smells- shit and pee and dander with an undercurrent of pet shampoo and flea powder.

\"Something else wrong?\" Mary asked more to be polite than out of concern. Mary was smelling basement and Professor Drake\'s too well used aftershave and that something else.

\"The phone is out of order.\"

\"I have a cell.\" Mary pulled her cute flip phone out. The something else was getting stronger.

\"That won\'t help- there\'s no signal down here, I\'m afraid,\" he informed her. \"Perhaps we can force it open. He stepped up next to the door and rammed his shoulder into it. The cracking noise that followed wasn\'t from the door. \"Uh- perhaps not,\" he revised, rubbing at his shoulder. \"Do you smell something?\" he asked, starting to look green.

\"Yeah. And do you hear that?\" Mary asked, having just noticed a gentle hissing sound.

\"Oh, good Lord! That\'s gas. The pilot light on the boiler must be out. We can\'t force the door, then. It might spark.\"

\"Great, more fire,\" Mary muttered. The smell was really bad, Mary tried holding her breath a while.

Professor Drake sat down. He was breathing fast. The he keeled over, falling from the chair and Mary had to catch him to keep him from bashing his head on the floor. Shit! She lowered him to the ground. He wasn\'t breathing. Maryanne had taken lifesaving last summer because the lifeguard who was teaching it was really cute. Mary tried to remember what to do. She was letting Anne do all their breathing- it hurt like a mother to not inhale the gas, but it was her only chance. She said a little prayer that Anne would be able to breath well enough for all three of them for a while, waited until Anne had breathed in and leaned down to puff the Anne-clean air into his mouth.

She pulled back to let Anne inhale again and exhaled into Professor Drake\'s mouth again. He coughed. It was working. She puffed into his mouth again and again, hoping it would be enough until they could get out- until Anne could get them help. Mary was certain that Anne was on the way with help. Anne always took care of her.

The hissing sound stopped and there was a scraping noise outside the door and Mary looked up to see the door opening. A stern looking, woman in a dark suit stepped quickly through the door and helped Mary drag Professor Drake out. They had to get up and out of the building before the smell was sufficiently weak for Mary to let herself breath. It felt so good- the fresh air. They set the professor on the ground and the woman in the suit bent over him, taking his pulse and giving him a good shake. He coughed and started breathing again. Thank God.

The woman looked up at Mary and asked, \"You all right? You okay?\" Mary nodded. The woman pulled out a cell phone and dialed. \"This is Special Agent Culpepper with the Federal Bureau of Investigations, ID no. 948723. I need fire and ambulance to the Brunii Building on Collage Avenue. I have a large gas leak as well as at least two injured.\" She looked over at Mary again, twisting the phone so the mouthpiece was away from her mouth. \"You still all right?\" Mary nodded again. \"Yes, I\'m still here. Culpepper,\" she said into the phone again. Mary wished there was some way she could slip away, before the paramedics got there or Agent Culpepper took her name, but there just wasn\'t any way.

***

THE ANIMAL SHELTER...

Anne was helping a cute little redhead girl fill out the paperwork to adopt a friendly little tripod wiener dog, when she started smelling something weird. Nobody else there smelled it, but they opened all the windows just to be sure. Then Anne felt all the sudden out of breath and realized that Mary was doing what she\'d done when she\'d been underwater to keep Anne from burning- she was using only Anne\'s air. The smell had gotten weaker, but that had to be because Mary wasn\'t breathing in anymore. She had to get to Mary- but she was miles away. She got Becky, one of the other volunteers, to drive her back to campus. Even though Becky had wanted to take Anne to the hospital because of her panic and labored breathing, Anne couldn\'t let her.

They arrived at the building in time to see Mary and some strange woman carrying Professor Drake out the front door. Mary was breathing on her own and as much as Anne wanted to go and check on her, it was better to not be seen in the same place, so she directed Becky to take her over to her dorm before Becky noticed the commotion and recognized Mary.

***

CAMPUS SECURITY OFFICES...

After the emergency workers had got there, Mary\'d been checked over by one of the paramedics and complemented on her healthy lungs. Shortly thereafter, Agent Culpepper had asked Mary to accompany her to the office she and her partner, Special Agent Dunstan, were using at Campus Security Headquarters and Mary had had little choice but to comply. There the two FBI agents had gotten her a glass of water and left her to sit in a too hard folding chair.

Dunstan, a portly man, who was every bit the stereotypical cop six months from his pension- he knew everything, but didn\'t want to do the paperwork on anything- Dunstan sat down with Mary and calmly gotten her story. Of course, her story of what had happened was a little left of true so as not to mention Anne\'s existence or any of the strange things they could do together, but mostly it was accurate. Mary hadn\'t done anything but get unluckily stuck in an office next to a boiler leaking natural gas and give mouth to mouth to her ailing professor. Dunstan seemed ready to let her go home.

And then Agent Culpepper came in.

It was more accurate to say she slammed into the room and melodramatically threw a manila folder down on the table. The folder\'s contents spilled across the table revealing multiple pictures of Mary-Anne and Matt Godunov- in the dining hall, in the now burned Physics Building, at that terrible foreign film, at the macrobiotic restaurant- even one of them in the hall outside Maryanne\'s dorm room kissing.

\"So, would you say you\'re well acquainted with Matthew Godunov?\" Agent Culpepper spoke much more calmly than expected.

\"Uh- yes,\" Mary answered. \"Obviously- you have pictures.\" She pointed at the table. \"Why do you have pictures? Am I being watched, or is Matt?\" she asked, feeling justifiably pissed-off.

\"Mr. Godunov has been present at two suspicious events surrounding the destruction of federal property and not just any federal property- highly powerful scientific federal property. Do you know what he was working on down in that lab, Miss Twombly?\"

\"Something about a dead cat?\" she guessed, shrugging her shoulders. \"I never can understand much of that kind of stuff when Matt starts going on about it.\"

\"He was doing undocumented experiments using a particle accelerator. Do you know what the eggheads like to call a particle accelerator, Miss Twombly?\"

\"Sweetheart?\"

\"They call it an Atom Smasher because that\'s what it does- it smashes atoms together at unimaginable speeds to see what happens. You know what some people think might happen if they get the right two atoms together?\"

\"A bunch of little baby atoms?\"

Culpepper shook her head slowly and leaned close to Mary\'s face.

\"BOOM!\" she shouted and slammed a hand down on the table to illustrate her point.

\"Wait, Matt? You thing Matt was trying to build a bomb? That\'s ridiculous. Matt wouldn\'t hurt a fly. Plus, I know for a fact that he hadn\'t even started working with the accelerator yet- he was still just on paper- he wasn\'t planning to use the accelerator for months.\"

\"Then why is his name on over two hundred hours of reserved accelerator time over the last six months? What did he do down there all that time if he wasn\'t performing experiments? Making cookies?\"

\"No, he traded them.\"

\"Traded them? Like cookies?\"

\"Well, sort of. There was this other guy- Moores- he was one of the other scientists.\"

\"Eliot Moores- the one we haven\'t been able to locate? Mr. Godunov claims he died in the first incident.\"

\"Yeah, him. He needed all this time on the machine, so the others would reserve time just to have it to trade with him.\"

\"And what did he give them in return, cookies?\"

\"Uh- no. He\'d mostly just stop annoying them for a while in return, I guess.\"

\"Hey, Culpepper, would you knock it off with the cookies? I\'m hungry,\" Dunstan piped up from his spot in the corner.

\"Look, Ed. You don\'t have to be here for this. Go find a donut somewhere,\" she derided.

\"What, not a cookie?\" he asked and picked up his suit jacket from the back of a chair and went out the door.

\"Listen, sweetie, you need to come clean with what you know about all this. I am going to nail your friend. He knows it. I know it. It\'s a done deal. I\'d just rather I didn\'t have to bring you down just for protecting your boyfriend. I mean, we\'ve all been there- making excuses for a man who\'s good in the sack, but bad everywhere else.\"

\"I\'m not sleeping with Matt and I\'ve told you everything I know about his project. There\'s nothing else I can tell you.\"

\"That\'s the way you want to play it?\"

\"I\'m not playing.\"

\"Fine. We can do this the hard way.\" She stood up again and paced the room. \"So, what I can\'t figure out is why you and Drake aren\'t all kinds of dead.\"

\"You saved us just in time.\"

\"You see, that\'s the thing. I didn\'t- there was no way either of you should have still been breathing, but here you sit. And I hear from the ER that the good professor is gonna be just fine.\"

\"That\'s good. Thank you again fo-\"

\"Can it, sister! There was no oxygen in that room anymore- none- zip- nada! You should have been dead- I should have opened up that little box of a room and found you dead- two dead bodies- no waiting. But instead I open the door and you\'re resuscitating a dead man with non-existent oxygen. So what I need you to tell me is what the hell you were breathing if it wasn\'t air?\"

\"There was still air- we were on the floor- there was still a little air down there,\" Mary insisted.

Just then, the door opened and Dunstan came in brushing crumbs off his shirtfront. \"Hey, Culpepper. That\'s enough. I\'ve given you too much rope as it is- I don\'t want to hear any more about your wacko theories about black holes and shit. Miss Twombly, you can go now and I\'d like to apologize for my partner\'s overzealousness. We regret any inconvenience we may have caused you.\"

\"Dunstan, what the hell-\"

\"Not a word, Carrie. Not a word,\" Dunstan warned her, wagging a finger in her face. Mary got while the getting was good.

***

MARYANNE\'S DORMROOM...

Anne had spent the last two hours worrying and trying to mentally eaves drop on what Mary was going through- it was as if she was on a time delay or something. Every few minutes she would get a flash of what had just happened a few minute earlier, but it was still that faintly fuzzy that memories were. It was frustrating since she couldn\'t do anything to change what was going on. Even if she\'d been able to help Mary chose the right things to say or not say, she was still getting the information after the fact- like a time delay. It sucked, but at least she knew Mary was all right.

So, she did what had become standard procedure when one of them was under stress- she took care of Mary. She peed for her, when the glass of water she\'d been given by the feds went straight through her. She took some pain reliever to ease Mary\'s headache (Anne had it, too of course) and she went down to the vending machine to get something gooey and chocolate to ease Mary\'s nerves. After a while, Anne felt Mary panic and a few minutes later, she knew why- Culpepper had a clue that there was something really strange going on and she knew Maryanne was part of it!

When Mary came in, Anne just pulled her into an easy embrace and kissed her. She was still reeling from the Mary\'s near death, let alone the interrogation.

\"You okay, sweetie?\" Anne asked, stroking Mary\'s cheek.

\"Yes. I\'m fine. I\'m just so sorry. This is all my fault, Annie. If I hadn\'t made you have to leave the lecture like that, I wouldn\'t have even been in the building-\"

\"Wait, Mary, think about it- if you hadn\'t been there Professor Drake would be dead. You saved his life.\"

\"We saved his life. It was your lungs doing all the work.\"

\"I\'m still sorry I put you through all that embarrassment- it was selfish.\"

\"You know, I\'ve been thinking about that and I have a theory. Wanna hear?\"

\"Duh, of course. What\'s your theory, Einstein?\"

\"The pinky ring.\"

\"That\'s a fashion accessory, not a theory, Annie.\"

\"Yeah, yeah. Listen, you and me, at least on the outside look exactly the same except for the reversal thing, right?\"

\"Uh-huh- I\'m the right half and you\'re the left.\"

\"More like you\'re forwards and I\'m backwards, but that\'s not the point. Tha point is that the pinky ring didn\'t split into two purple rings- it turned into two rings that were swirlly pink and blue. It didn\'t split equally. I think that, despite the fact that we look almost the same, we didn\'t split equally either.\"

\"Anne, what are you saying?\"

\"It\'s like Freud- the ego and the id and the superego. Sweetie, I think you got a lot more id than I did. I\'m much more superego- that\'s why when we are together or working together we do so well- we are balanced if we\'re together.\"

\"And I\'m an idiot.\"

\"That is not what I said- you are more id- you\'re more fun, Mary and I\'m the wet noodle, the stick in the mud.\"

\"So you now understand why you should hate me- I have no self-control.\"

\"Mary- I don\'t hate you- I can\'t even stay mad at you now that I figure this out. You couldn\'t stop yourself- you\'re not built to stop yourself- that\'s my job.\"

\"You don\'t hate me?\"

\"Sweetie, I love you, you idiot.\"

\"Evil twin.\"

\"Ignorant slut.\"

\"Bitch.\"