The Shadow I'm In

My world crumbled around me as my breathing sped up as well. I moved, my elbows rested on the desk in front of me, my head in my open hands.

“Basil? You okay love?” I heard the far off voice of Crimson ask. No, she couldn’t know. She thinks I have a boyfriend. She knows that his best friend raped me. She couldn’t. Ken said not to tell anyone. But-

I was panicking. My fingers fisted my hair, pulling on the light brown strands making my scalp hurt. She couldn’t know! I hadn’t said anything about it. She couldn’t know. Ken will hurt me again if she knows.
Tears prickled my eyes. I don’t want this to happen again. Why did he let this happen? He knew Ken wanted me! But he let it happen anyway. A hot tear rolled down my cheek.

Hands gripped my hands and tried to pull them away from my scalp. I loosened my hold on my hair and allowed my hands to be pulled away from my head. My eyes were wide as I looked into the eyes of Crimson in front of me.

“No one.” I stated to her, my breath still coming at a pant. She looked around her for a moment, it was then that I noticed that I had gained the attention of our class, the teacher on the phone a panic to her voice as she spoke, her eyes glancing at me every few seconds.

“Okay, okay. No one. But are you alright?” Was the new girl’s reply as she looked at me with worried eyes. “You gave us quite a scare, you know. Had an panic attack or something. Wouldn’t respond to anything I said or did. I called your name I don’t know how many times, even yelled it! You were that far gone.” Panic attack?

“Basil, the nurse wants you in her office.” The teacher called from the head of the room, her eyes too held worry. Why was everyone worried about me? They never were before. Why is now any different? “Crimson, will you please escort him there? Make sure he makes it safely?”

“Yes, Miss Lee!” I allowed myself to be maneuvered out of my chair and out of the door with one of the girl’s hands on my arm and the other on my lower back, my mind was still in shook. “Alright, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have pushed. And I wouldn’t have if I had known it would make you go all super nova on me.” I turned my head to look at the girl as she stopped walking, making me stop as well.

“What?” I asked rather confused.

“If you want to keep your relationship a secret then that fine. Just tell me next time.” I was still looking at the weird girl in confusion. “He’s one of the sports players isn’t he? And he hasn’t come out of the closet yet so you have to act like you aren’t seeing anyone, and if he finds out that someone knows then he will be rather angry. I got it all figured out.” This girl knows everything. I could feel my eyes grow wider as she spoke through her explanation. My breath started coming in pants again after I had just gotten it under control. “Whoa! Hey, Basil. Don’t do this!”

My world was spinning this time. My eyes focused on too many things. Ken’s going to hurt me again. She knows! They all know! They’re laughing behind my back! They just act worried! No one has ever worried before! Why would they start now? Mom and Dad probably know too. Probably saying it was probably the only thing I was good for and deserved. He probably doesn’t even care. He won’t look at me or touch me anymore! He didn’t do it before, but it will only get worse! Why did she have to know?

Why did this have to happen? Why did Ken have to come into my room and say all those things? Do what he did? I’m dirty. And trash. My parents have always known it. He didn’t even pay attention to me at all, and Ken said that he worried about me? It wasn’t true. He was lying. He lied about everything. He knew that Ken was there. He knew what was happening at his party. He knew that-

There was a huge pain in my head before my vision went black and the shouting voices around me increased in volume then stopped.


There was a pounding in my head as my mind came back to me. A groan left my lips, the muscles in my face contacting to try to help the pain. I heard the beeping around me before I opened my eyes to see the white washed walls around me. A hospital? I quickly closed my eyes again, the bright light making my head pound more.

“Ah, Mr. Aden. Finally wake?” A man’s voice filled the room. I hadn’t heard the door open or foot steps so he must have been there while I was asleep. I groaned in response. “You gave Miss King a scare when you collapsed.” What was he talking about? And who was Miss King? “Forgive me, I should have told you where you were first I think, I’m rather new at this.” The caused me to open my eyes again, scanning the room so that they could land on the man that looked to be in his 20s. “I’m Dr. David, and your at Blanc Memorial Hospital. You were brought here after you collapsed in the hallway at your school. You had quite the bump on your head.” I collapsed? This man didn’t seem like a doctor but he was in a white coat and the name tag said he was.

“Collapsed?” I heard my voice ask, almost sounding suspicious of the older man.

“Yes. Right in the middle of the hallway on your school way to the nurses office it would seem, if your classmates and teacher were telling the truth.” I shut my eyes again, my head still pounding and the cheery doctor’s voice wasn’t helping any. “Here. This should help.” Finger tips pressed something into my open palm that rested on the thin white blankets. “It will help with the headache. Having hit a marble floor, it must hurt.” The bed started moving so I was I was sitting up now. My eyes opened again as a nurse brought a cup of water to the doctor and the doctor brought it to me. “Here you are Mr. Aden, help that pill go down a little bit.”

Taking the paper cup in hand, my eyes just stared at the clear liquid within. What was going on? Shouldn’t they have brought me to the school nurse and let me wake up there? Mom and Dad are going to be so mad when they have to pay for this doctor’s bill. Why did they have to bring me here? It wasn’t a big deal. I hit my head on the bathroom floor last night and blacked out for a moment. This wasn’t any different.

“Mr. Aden there are some things that I need to talk to you about.” The rather extreme doctor stated bringing me back from my thoughts. “First, though take the medicine, I promise it will help with that head ache.” He picked up my hand hold the two small pills and brought it up. “I’m sure I don’t need to do everything for you. You are a capable young man after all.” I nodded my head, making myself wince as the movement made my head throb more. The two pills were placed in my mouth after another moment and the water cup touched my lips only a few seconds later, helping me swallow the medicine. “Now, about why you are here. Well obviously, because you banged your head quite hard on the floor of your school and you wouldn’t wake up.” He took the empty cup from my hand and tossed it into the trash can on the other side of the white room. “Still got it.” The man stated with a wide smile. He confused me. Weren’t ER doctors supposed to be old? Whenever he had to go to the emergency room they always were.

“Now, why did you fall and hit your head on the floor? Do you remember? Miss King said she was talking to you then you started to hyperventilate, you did the same thing in the classroom that’s why you were on your way to the nurse’s office. Is this true?”

Hyperventilating? I don’t remember that. I remember- My eyes went wide. I’m at a hospital. What if they found out what Ken did? What if they checked down there? My hands went under the blankets and felt the fabric of the same clothes that I had been wearing. But that doesn’t matter! What if they found out? Maybe they would just think I had a boyfriend like Crimson did. Crimson! She knows! She’s going to go talk to Ken about it! What am I going to do? Ken will hurt me again. He will find out. He already knows though. He sent Ken after me. Mom and Dad will find out. The doctors will tell them. They have to, right? It has to do with my health and I’m still underage. Still a minor. My parents have to know. What will they do when they find out? They’ll look down on me even more. There would be no way that he would let this happen to him. He’s too good for this to happen to him. Too strong to let someone hold him down and use him like Ken did to me.

“Mr. Aden? Basil?”

“Please don’t tell them!” I all but shouted at the older man, making him jump back slightly in surprise.

“I have to tell them you collapsed. They have to know what they’re paying for after all and what you were sent here for.”

“Don’t tell them what Ken did to me! Please!” I could feel the burn of tears at the corners of my eyes. I shut them quickly shaking my head, trying to make them go away. I had cried too much already.

“What? What did Ken do to you?” His voice took on a different tone then. Realization dawned on me. He didn’t know. And I had just about spilled everything. I could feel him move closer to me and place one of his hands on my shoulder. “What did ken do to you?” He asked again, pushing me to tell him. I shook my head again, pulling away from his touch.

“Its n-nothing. Ju-just a dr-dream I had.” My eyes opened and I offered a small forced smile. “So-sorry.” I could tell from his face that he didn’t believe me, but I wasn’t going to say anything more. “Wh-when can I go-go home?” Was my next question. I wanted to get away. Far away from this place. This person.

“Just as soon as we can see that everything is alright with your noggin. I think your brother is waiting in the waiting room to take you when I’m done with you.” He was here? Not Mom or Dad? “Now, look straight into the light, see how your eyes are dilating.” With that he turned my head to face him, holding up a small flash light. He flashed it on and off a few times with each eye.

The visit with the overly excitable doctor ended when he gave me a prescription for a large amount of a medication that was just like your everyday Motrin, a prescription for a nerve medication to clam them and a recommendation for a therapist so I won‘t have panic acts again so I won‘t ‘bang my noggin’ on the school floor. Walking down the large hall in the hospital almost to the waiting room where he would be waiting for me with the three pieces of paper in hand I stopped in my tracks.

“Basil, you okay?” My whole body stiffened at the sound of his voice, my breathing becoming deeper and shaky as I felt his form grow closer to my smaller one. “Basil?” He was in front of me, his light green eyes looking at me with slight concern. ‘Scott worries about you.’ Ken’s voice came running through my head. “Basil!” My body jumped slightly as he gripped my shoulders scaring me out of my thoughts and causing my skin to burn under my shirt, making a gasp come from my lips. His hands left my shoulders as quickly as they had come, as if his hands had been burned. “Sorry.” He turned around, his back to me now. “Come on. Mom and Dad are waiting at home.” I nodded my head and quickly stepped behind him in his shadow, almost like a duckling following its mother.

He led me through the parking lot, to the car the Mom and Dad had gotten him for his 16th birthday. It was brand-new though. They were practically the first ones to drive it, the dealer had said. It was only two years old and it the was nicer then both Mom and Dad’s cars. The Lexus was shining in the afternoon sun as he unlocked the doors and motioned for me to get into the passenger seat. I slid onto the leather seat. I made sure to stuff the papers the doctor had given me into my pocket, before seat belting myself into the car.

If would be a 30-45 minute drive to our house from the hospital depending in the traffic. That meant 30 or more minutes in the same car with him. With no one else around. My eyes glanced over at him as he turned the key making the car come to life around us.

“What happened? I was in chemistry when I was called to the office because you had collapsed on the floor and wouldn’t wake up and they were taking you to the hospital.” His voice floated over me and around me. Surrounding me in a blanket that I craved more then anything. He was talking to me. Really talking to me. Wanting to know about me.

“I do-don’t kn-know.” I confessed for the second time that day, my head tilted down.

“Don’t tell me that. I know that Crimson girl was with you, the new one. You were talking to her both times. What did she do to you?” Crimson?

“Sh-she didn’t do an-anything to-to me.”

“Bull shit.” His voice took on an angry tone, making me shy away from him leaning more against the door. “She would have had to have done something. You’ve never passed out before.”

“It was-wasn’t her f-fault.” I told him, making his brow frown.

“Stay away from her.” I didn’t go around her to begin with! She was the one that came to me! “She’s obviously bad for you.”

Is she any worse then your best friend?

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A/N: Okay, so this one got out faster then the last one! Yay! Lol. Anyway, you finally get to meet Scott. For a little bit at least.

And I’m looking for a beta. Lol. If you haven’t noticed, I miss words and use the wrong ones. Its just the way that I try. Lol. And when I go back and look over it, I seem to just skip over the words that I miss or have the wrong word there. Lol. So if your interested e-mail me at missa2308@yahoo.com.