Bela the Nymphomaniac Vampire Slayer

Chapter 4: Why stilletoes can be a practical shoe

Clothes: red leather mini skirt, black bodice with red embroidery. Stilleto dagger hidden between shoulderblades.

Accessories: charm bracelet, sharpened chopsticks in hair, large black opal pendant in ornate setting.

Footwear: Black stilletto boots with stakes and a few other necessities hidden inside.

I fucking love my work-clothes.

I was all set to go on a vampage- the local bloodsuckers weren't going to know what hit them.

My first stop was Spark. To my surprise, Albino was there, and not only that, seemed determined to catch my eye. Huh. Wouldn't have thought he'd be the type to try become a regular anywhere, but then I'm hardly the best judge of that.

He yelled something over the music, but I couldn't make it out. I smiled vaguely at him, then scanned the dancefloor. The incubus was there again, this time dancing with a woman, who if I wasn't mistaken was some sort of were.

Interesting. Weres came in many shapes and sizes, and were generally alright except around the full moon, when they tended to get a little twitchy. In any case, unless she decided to present herself as a threat to people, I'd give her the benefit of the doubt. In any case, Cassandra and Li Wu were sure to be keeping an eye on her, so it was really none of my business.

I scanned the dancefloor, but other than a few of the regular Bumpies there was no one else showing signs of non-humanity.

I smiled. As much as I wanted to do some serious slaying tonight, I was always happy to see a vamp-free club.

Goddamnit I spoke too soon.

Two vamps just walked in the front door, casual as you please. Shit. I hate it when they hunt in pairs- it complicates things. Oh what the hell, I wanted to out-do myself tonight.

I half-dance, half-sashay over to them, my steps deliberately unsteady-looking, to make me seem even less of a threat than what they'd perceive as an average human- particularly a woman. I mean, you know and I know that it's all shit, but these stereotypes have served me well over the years, seeing as your average vamp has been around since times when “women's suffrage” was barely a concept. I find dressing in slightly vintage clothing to be a good vamp-magnet, almost as much as dressing like a complete and utter whore. The vintage clothing gives vamps a sense of nostalgia, whereas the slutty clothing makes them tend to assume that I am a prostitute and thus will be easy to convince to come with them, on the pretext of doing “business”.

Well, call me arrogant, but generally? My business is too much for them to handle.

The vamps spot me pretty quickly, seeing as I'm making right for them, and I notice the elder of the pair suddenly fixate on my chest a brief second before the younger one does. I beam tipsily at them, knowing full well that despite appearances the vampires are not in fact examining my ample cleavage, but in fact fascinated by my pretty shiny pendant.

Just keep looking boys, and it'll be the very last thing you see, if I have anything to do with it.

“Hey boys, hows about we go out back and have ourselves a little fun?” I smile enticingly at the vampires, with the air of a person who has asked that question plenty of times.

Well I have, but usually I only take on one at a time. This could be an interesting challenge.

The vampires looked like seven-year-olds being told that Christmas had come early- utterly delighted that “food” had come literally dancing into their laps.

Good, keep them thinking you're an easy mark.

I wink at one of the bouncers, and she winks back at me. Suzannah, an ex-Olympic weights lifter is an Aware who is familiar and grateful for the services I provide around here- I keep the vamps from finding more innocent flesh, and save her from having to tell them to fuck off.

Which is really not a good plan, if you want to live for a long time, but hey, no one ever accused Suzannah of being bright, despite the fact that she could probably list off the top of her head every gold medal winner in Olympic weights since 1896, and a fair number of the silvers and bronzes.

The nice thing about having Suzannah onside is that she'll stop me from being interrupted by anyone from the club. Good old Suzie.

Outside in the alleyway behind the club. The scene is spray-painted brick walls and a few empty kegs that probably used to be full of beer. To my right there's a skip. There's broken glass on the ground, and a broken broomstick leaning up against it.

To my left there's an old busted couch that some of the bouncers use to sit on and smoke when they have their breaks.

Perfect.

I walk over to beside the couch and lean up against the wall, beckoning both the vamps to come close to me.

“So fellas, what'll it be? Blowjobs for everybody or do we want a sandwich?” inwardly I rolled my eyes. The elder one had the over-eager look of a vamp that has had a dry month, and the younger one is practically bouncing in joy. Obviously a Freshie, which made me sad- and slightly irritated, because it meant that this was probably going to be a messy kill.

The younger one, who had almost definitely been a virgin when he was bitten went all round-eyed and hungry at my suggestion, and the elder one appeared to be amused.

Think I'm funny, do ya fucknut? We'll see who's laughing after I put this heel through your chest.

“Henry, why don't you go first. I'll stand here and watch,” says Fucknut.

Oh no you don't, I want you close and in easy reach.

“Why don't you sit right here on the arm of the couch- it'll be more comfortable for you, and besides,” I add sotto voce, “I doubt the kid's going to last all that long- I want you all fresh for when it's your turn.” A seductive smile, wink, and lick the lips combination follows this, and for the first time in a while I see Fucknut look at my mouth instead of my pendant.

Gotcha, you motherfucking monster.

The vamp smirks a little at my “obvious attraction” to him, and then takes my advice, settling himself on one side of the chair as I situate “Henry” on the other. I incline my head towards him, giving him a good view of my neck, before running my fingers across his chest, massaging the muscles slightly, “accidentally” stimulating his nipples as I proceed to rub up against him like a cat. I kiss his neck, tasting the skin there, marvelling once again at the fact that other than the temperature, there is little difference between the skin of a human and that of a vamp.

Henry smells slightly musty, of mothballs and old-fashioned cologne, and as I continue to rub up against his body he starts to inexpertly fondle my breasts.

Damnit, I just had to get the baby vamp who never managed to get a girlfriend now didn't I? Ugh, now that really took all the fun out of it.

Fucknut on the other hand seemed to be enjoying watching us. Fucking pervert. I could hear his breath becoming rhythmic, and a peek from the corner of my eye confirmed the fact that the horny old bastard was masturbating.

Superior beings my taut sexy bum. I'd like to show those goddamn Otherkin and other such pretenders what a being is really like when they can't control their animalistic urges.

I unzipped Henry's pants and started to slowly stroke him, bringing him to a full erection within seconds, through a few small tricks I'd picked up over the years, and then quickening my pace.

Henry moaned, fangs showing as he leaned back in ecstasy, and I took his erection into my mouth, bracing my hands on his thighs as I listened to Fucknut starting to reach his climax, his breaths growing quicker.

Both vamps were now pretty damn distracted. This couldn't have worked out better if I had scripted it.

Okay, on the count of three.

One...

Henry began to shudder.

Two...

I reached for the chopsticks in my hair...

Three...

And plunged them straight into the chests of the two vampires!

Henry gave a sort of ragged gasp and then collapsed, emitting a pungent aroma that confirmed he had been dead for a month or so.

Unfortunately the other vamp had spotted what I was doing at the very last second, and so as I hurriedly spat out the corpse's penis, I had a furious vampire with a chopstick embedded in his chest to contend with.

Well, shit.

Roaring with rage, the vampire yanked the chopstick out of his chest, giving me the second I needed to back up against the wall.

I decided to stall.

“P-please, don't kill me!” I whimpered, simultaneously noting with disgust that I had missed the vampire's heart by a mere three centimetres.

Fucking sloppy! No matter Bela, you still have time to rectify this mistake. Now all you have to do is wait for the inevitable monologue...

“Foolish, pathetic human, how dare you presume that you could kill a superior being like me, Darius Sinister?”

Oh for fuck's sake, what was it with made up names this week? Goddamnit, anyone would think I was trapped in some piece of shit fanfiction or something. Man, lucky I honed my poker face around Slayers. Now come on clown, just a little closer...

Darius continued to talk, or rather, verbally continue his previous wank.

“You will pay for the death of my apprentice. Dear Henry was a sweet boy, had only had two kills to date, but he was showing promise. How dare you! Prepare to die, snivelling human!”

Thank God, I thought he would never shut up.

“By the blood of my ancestors, I shall make you suffer!”

Goddamnit, spoke too soon.

“You shall beg for your life before I take it! I shall kill you slowly, inch by inch, and then I'll hunt down your family and feast on each and every one of them!”

Oh son of a whore. Bitch did not just bring my family into this. I'd like to know how he thinks he would find them, but I'm sick of listening to this asshole vomit his clichéd Evil!Overlord shit at me.

He continues to rant, but I am no longer listening. Come on, just one step closer...

Hah!

Darius leaps forward with obvious killing intent as I sweep my leg upwards. Vampires are faster than most humans, but this is a manoevre I've practiced more times than I care to remember. A moment later, Darius has impaled himself on the heel of my stilleto, and what do you know, I managed to get the heart this time.

I have time to grin at his blinking slack-jaw face before he explodes in a shower of dust.

Oh gross, powdered vampire on my boots.

Scowling, I wipe my boots off on Henry's jeans, then pull my mobile out of my bodice and call Gareth.

Me: “Hey Gareth, it's me, Bela... I need a corpse disposal in the alley behind Spark, one of the vamps I just staked was a newbie.”
Gareth: “One of the vamps you just staked?”
Me: “...yeah, there were two. I improvised.”
Gareth: “I don't think I even want to know. I'll send Sam and his team out. They'll sort it. You going to stick around?”
Me: “Pft, as if. Clean up has never been my forte, and Sam's still bitter over that thing I had with his girl. The bouncers are due to come out for a smoko in about an hour, so tell Sam's lot to move their sorry butts.”

I can almost hear Gareth rolling his eyes over the phone. “Alright Bela, see you later tonight.” He hangs up before I can say goodbye, and he knows I won't argue. I never could resist stopping for a latte before I limp home, and Wheels is the best.

I stretch and crack my neck a little, fixing my hair with the chopstick that I still hold and a spare I had in my boot. No point pulling out the one still stuck in Henry- it's one thing to recycle one that's been coated in vamp dust, but quite another to reuse one that's been used on a Freshie.

I mean, ew, he was all squishy still! Gross.

Having checked my reflection in a shard of broken mirror lying next to the skip, I decided I was presentable enough, and called a taxi to take me to my next place.

“Heya, the name's Bela, I need a taxi to Vibe?... It's on Pitt Street.... Yeah, that's the place. Just down from the bargain place with that annoying Warehouse Guy track. Yep. Uh huh. I'm going to be out the front of Spark. It's on George. Yep, not too far from the cinema complexes. Alright cool. Thanks, bye.”

I decided I'd give Suzannah the nod and wink so she'd not go looking for my desanguinated corpse, and so walked back through the club, catching her eye as I passed on through, stopping at the bar to buy myself a vodka and orange. The taxi would probably take a while, and I decided I deserved a small reward before I moved on- I hadn't taken out two vamps like that in a long time, and I wouldn't have tried it tonight if I hadn't needed the catharsis.

Which reminded me of Mr. Sender of Blood-Red Roses. It might have been a Ms, but somehow I doubted it- I was not exactly friendly with many of the female slayers in the area (something to do with them finding my methods to be fairly distasteful and occasionally casually fucking “their” menfolk) but sending roses was certainly not any of their styles. Besides, the last two lines of the rhyme had consisted of something about not being able to wait until we had met... wait a minute, so if we hadn't met before, then why the hell were they aware of where I lived? Or my activities?

Somehow, I had popped up on this freak's radar, but how? I rarely killed a vamp in front of any witnesses, and I'd made damn sure to keep track of the humans and staked the vamps...

This was going to do my head in.

I sculled my drink and left the glass on a conveniently placed table, then walked out the front to wait for my taxi to show up. I figured I had about another five minutes or so before it would show up, but I needed the air.

“Hey pretty lady!”

I smile a little despite my worries. There's nothing like a compliment from a stranger to astronomically boost one's ego.

I turn to face the speaker. Okay scratch that previous statement, it's not a stranger.

It's Albino again, damn, what was his name... oh yeah.

“Why hello Lawrence, I'd ask how your night with Heidi went, but I think that enormous lovebite on your neck speaks for itself,” I smirk, noting with interest that his blush almost reaches his belly button.

It was almost a shame I'd given away my shot at this guy- I'd like to see if I could make that blush spread further.

“Actually, that was why I wanted to talk to you- I wanted to thank you, and ask if you were okay after that fight with your ex,” he said with a shy smile that looked almost out of place with his typical outrageous clubber leather and lace.

Damnit, he was so adorable I could vomit.

I sighed, brushing an escaped tendril of hair off my face. Probably a good thing I hadn't screwed him that night, I would have broken the poor boy. Time to politely give him the flick so I can get on with my night without getting a blow-by-blow account.

“No need to thank me, I'm just glad you two liked each other. If you want to thank me, name one of your children after me- only one 'l' in the Isabela though, got to keep that good old Eastern European spelling alive and fight the good fight against Anglicization,” I babbled breezily.

Just then my taxi pulled up. Man, that couldn't have been better timed if I'd planned it.

I turned to check if my words had had the desired effect- and they had, Lawrence was spluttering.

I waved a cheerful goodbye to him, and as I stepped into the taxi I was pleased to see a disgruntled-looking Sam driving his electrician's van around the corner trying to find a park for his van that wouldn't get it towed.

I blew him a kiss and he gave me the finger, creating a nice little depiction of the state of our relationship for all and sundry.

Grinning, I ducked into the back seat of the taxi and told the driver where I was heading.

I settled back against the seat-cushion, securely buckling my seatbelt, just as an Arabic-featured guy jumped into the front seat.

What the fuck?

“Oi! I was here first, get your own!” I snarled over the driver's more polite explanation that he had already been given my destination.

The interloper had the balls to shrug.

“Whatever. I'll go wherever the lady is going- I'm trying to avoid someone I know,” he said with a grimace that I was fairly sure was a put-on.

The driver seemed dubious as well, but looked at me pleadingly.

Oh for the love of a good fuck. What did I look like, some sort of people-loving philanthropist?

I surveyed the interloper, taking in his features that had I not been severely ticked, I might have considered passable.

Okay fine, he was fucking gorgeous, but I was on a vampage and I had no goddamn time to be seducing self-loving taxi hijackers.

Even if they closely resembled the middle-Eastern equivalent of Adonis.

“Fine, you can ride along, but I'll have you know you're paying the fare,” I grouched ungraciously.

Maybe I'd get lucky and he'd enter the club with me. He was pretty enough that he'd probably attract them like flies to shit.

...............................................................................................................................................................
Here we go sweethearts, another chapter. Hope you enjoyed the first little live foray into Bela's slaying methods, and that whether you did or not, you take the time to tell me what you thought. Was it too quick? In any case, Bela's Vampage is far from over. The night is still young, and she's just come into contact with a rather attractive young man. Stay tuned- the plot is thickening, and UST is not something Bela takes to kindly.