Profe *will update soon*

Manipulation and Denial


Uriel

I wait for him ‘til three ten, he never arrives and I feel as though I should have expected it. I’m not truly upset he has defied me this way. Part of me is glad he didn’t show up. I don’t think I could have handled time alone with him. I can’t seem to get him out of my head. Every time I close my eyes I see him standing by the door, the sliver of tan skin peeking at me, his eyes undressing me, his smile. His cocky, over confident smile hunts me.

I drive home trying to keep him out my head. I look over at my house the place Marsha and I are working hard to turn into a home and I can’t help the smile that covers my face.

“Honey, I’m hooome.” I always wanted to that.

Marsha comes out of the kitchen, her blond curls held securely to the side of her head by two jeweled butterflies. She smiles, “The baby is finally taking a nap, so shh.” She stand on the tip of her bare feet to kiss me hello.

We make our way over to the living room with our hands still tightly intertwined. I loosened my tie as I sit at our couch and Marsha makes her way to the small bar at our left. She hands me a Cherry coke -I’m only 20, and try and avoid drinking anything with alcohol – she sits next to me leaning her head on my shoulders.

People don’t understand how a geek like me managed to marry someone like Marsha. Even my own brother seems baffled that I married someone as beautiful, sweet and sophisticated as Marsha.

“Now tell me what had you so worked up this morning when you called me?” I swallowed the lump in my throat. I love my wife, I do, I truly do. Yet I feel as though my life has escaped me. It has left me the moment Luciano walked into my classroom. I can’t tell her I feel this way. I can’t accept feeling this way. I didn’t, I wouldn’t be standing here now breathing and talking if I had. It was anxiety, I went over this already. Nothing happened, no attraction, no sudden love/lust at first sight. Just anxiety.

“Just you know me, I’m too shy for my own good and the jitters got to me.” I lean down and kiss her kiwi smelling strawberry blond hair. So many sweet fruits make my wife every part of her smells or feels like a sweet fruit, an addictive fruit, a fruit that was once thought to me as forbidden.

Marsha snuggled closer to me, seeming to accept my answer and I closed my eyes to enjoy the closeness of her body.

Victoria’s cries startle us both as we still laid relaxed on the couch.

“I’ll get her you relax,” I tell Marsha as I softly push her of my chest before kissing her and making my way to the nursery.

Her eyes are open bright and she quiets down as soon as pier over the crib. I give her a finger to hold onto and she does with an incredible grip pulling it towards her mouth.

“No, no yucky fingers angel,” I say while pulling them away. I gently place a hand behind her head and lift her from her crib. “Oh Victoria, how I missed you today, baby.” I place her against my shoulder and softly pat her back as I coo her like an idiot, a happy idiot.

Victoria is the light of my life, I can’t come to describe the way this little person has changed me. How this small family I came to form in less than a year has changed me, my only concerns once were myself and my books, now it’s them Victoria and Marsha. Nothing else, no one else, not even I.

It was so frightening when Marsha went into labor early. I had read the books but none of them prepared me for the panic I felt. I felt I could loose them; it was too soon too early. Luckily everything turned out ok, Victoria was as healthy as any full term and Marsha recovered surprisingly fast.

I stand there unaware of anything but the little person in my arms, softly humming to her and promising a nice bottle in a few minutes.

“Will you ever tell me what happened between you and Jordi?” Marsha’s voice is sweet and gentle but it still manages to startle me. I don’t want to talk about Jordi at the moment or at least ‘til I figured things out with him.

“Nothing has happened, so there is nothing to tell,” It is what I always answer her. I feel bad for lying to her, but I don’t want to hurt her in anyway and really nothing has happen just some harsh words.

“He left our wedding early, actually he only attended the Church and backed out of being your best man and he hasn’t seen Victoria even once. You guys were close, I know so. Tell me what happened please.” The tone of her voice makes my heart shrivel; perhaps by keeping this from her I am hurting her more than the truth will.

She walks towards me and kisses Victoria on the crown of her head. I hand her the baby “I’ll go get her bottle ready.” With that I exit the room.


Victoria’s bottle is ready and I make my way back upstairs. I don’t want to talk to Marsha about Jordi. Jordi was against our marriage, the only reason he went to the church was because Mom wouldn’t let him avoid it. We must keep up with appearances. I’m married he can’t do anything about it, but it doesn’t keep him from letting me know how much he dislikes my wife.

Jordi insisted that I didn’t know who Marsha really was. But when ever I ask him what he means by it, he says that we were moving too quickly. Everything might seem like it moved too quickly, but it took me 19 years to be attracted to someone else. I just couldn’t turn my back on it, just because my brother never got along with Marsha in highschool.

I never gave it too much thought to the whole sexuality thing. I even began to think I might be asexual. I was never attracted to anyone; no one ever held my interest, but Marsha did, maybe because she showed interested in me first. I never had that before, someone wanting me, wanting to spend time with me. Three months might be a short courtship for others but it was more then enough for me to know I loved her. When she came to me and said marry me I didn’t have to think twice about it.

What about Luciano? Luciano a name that sounds so perfect slipping through my lips, I say it with out even noticing, Luciano. He is gorgeous, I wish I could say he looked like Marsha or was overly feminine so I can justify this attraction, but he isn’t. The lack of curves on his body is so… tempting. God, what am I think? Am I now some hormone crazed teenager? I feel like a pubescent kid for the first time feeling and discovering the opposite sex or in this case the same.

-

“Uri? Is something wrong?” I don’t dare open my eyes “Come give her the bottle your self I’ll go get dinner ready.”

She brushes past me and I deeply inhale her scent, her sweet scent that so many times before managed to comfort me. Not today, her scent does nothing to me but remind me that I do not know what Luciano’s scent is like. Will it be sweet and fruity like Marsha’s or will it be musky and strong?

I take Victoria and force all thought of my student out of my head. I focus on her, her little form, her happiness.


Luciano


“You F’rs skipped school with out me?” Henry, Robbie’s cousin says, as he slams opened Rob’s front door.

I take a slow drag from the blunt I hold between my fingers, and look towards Robbie hoping he would answer; talking would take too much effort.

“I didn’t even make it to my first period, and Lucy here got kicked out of it, we where barely even there.”

My hand feels slow and heavy and got it takes too much fucking effort to move, but I still manage to lift my hand and drop it hard on Robbie’s crotch. Fuck him for calling me Lucy.

“Ow! You son of a bitch,” Rob cries as both his hands fly to cover his crotch. I giggle, yes giggled, a damn sexy giggle too, so fuck you.

I have a huge smile on my face, content that I got back at Rob for calling me Lucy. I put my fingers to my mouth expecting to take another long drag but find that they are empty. I look around my smile forming into a frown as I hear Henry laughing his fucking head off.

“You are fucking high,” No shit Sherlock “you didn’t even notice I took the blunt from you!” And he takes a drag of my precious baby.

“Ass hole,” I mutter.

-

Hungry…mmmm so hungry, food, food, foooood. “Robbie I need food.”

“You hit me on the balls,” Robbie answs.

Food, food, food. Wow, it feels so hollow in my belly.

“Henry, I’m hungry.” I turn to him. He is staring at the T.V but not really looking at it.

“So what? I’m not eating yet, I’ll lose my high.” Fuckers it’s their house. Robbie and Henry’s moms are sisters and share the house. Rob’s mom never married, but Henry’s got this house from the divorce.

“Fuckers if it were my house I would have chips or something out.” Shit fucking munchies.

Rob looks at me and throws me a bag of Cheetos. Mmmmm Cheetos they are so freaking good.

“Sam said she would stop by later on,” Henry rudely interrupts my silent ode to Cheetos.

“I haven’t seen Sam in awhile.” Robbie says while rolling some more weed.

“Well I have to get going.” I do not want to see Sam. Sam is one of those girls that is convinced that she can ‘tame’ me. That I somehow will become her prince charming or some shit. Kiss the frog enough times and hope for a prince. I’m not a fucking Frog, I’m stallion, I don’t turn into a fucking pussy ass prince.

“How long are you going to avoid her for?” Henry asks. Dude took my Cheetos! Fuck. I’m starting to get sleepy.

“Rob hurry up with that, I’m getting a downer.” Henry looks at me as though he is waiting for an answer.

“Sam is freaking annoying man. Plus I need to be home before my mother or she will through a fit.” I really do not feel like listening to my mother nag. If I get home before she does I can go into my room and pretend to be asleep when she gets home. “If anything interesting happens later on call my cell and I will sneak out once she’s in bed.”


“Sam is coming here to see you. You can’t leave, sorry man. I’m not dealing with her.” Finally Rob finishes up the blunt, but of course he is taking his sweet as fucking time smoking now. “Plus she said she was bringing you a late b-day gift.”

“For all you know she might give you a blow job.” Rob says handing me the blunt. I take a slow drag and hand it over to Henry.

Still holding my breath I answer, “She sucks at that.” Hey don’t look at me like that she does, last time she sucked me I fell asleep.

“What ever man she is so hot that I don’t think I would care,” Rob says. I glare at him and just shrug.

Before I can take my second hit Henry starts complaining about me hogging the blunt. I take a quick hit before he yanks it away and I’m very pleased when he burns his hand.

“If she is that hot you can deal with her,” I tell Rob, while standing up to leave “Sorry man I can’t stay. I’m sure her gift isn’t worth me staying, unless it’s like the gift Linda and Shan gave me.” That is a good memory; the girls gave me a threesome for my birthday and I just can’t think about a better gift.

“Fucker keep rubbing that in.” Henry says.

“Hey one less thing on my list” I check my pockets for my car keys, confirming that they are their and I make my way out.

---

“Luciano?” before I even finish opening the door she is already calling my name. Fuck what time is it? Shouldn’t she still be at work?

“No,” I answer.

“Call your father he called like 3 minutes ago,” she makes her way out of the kitchen whipping her hands on kitchen towel.

“Are you ok? You look…wei…tired,” She says coming up to me and placing a hand on my forehead. I shrug her hand off and tell her I’m just tired. I make my way to my room; I won’t be calling my dad.

-

Mom calls me from downstairs about half an hour later wondering if I’m hungry.

“What are you making?” I ask her as I run down the stairs

“What ever you like, gordis.” Gordis, she got that from my dad.

“How about pasagnia?” I call lasagna pasagnia. When small I couldn’t pronounce it and they never corrected me and sort of stuck.

“Oh, no that takes to long, unless you want the frozen type. You’ll have to run to the store and buy it though.” I don’t feel like driving I’m just too lazy.

“You got to be fucking kidding me. Ni cagando.” She gives me a stern look and I think she might say something about my cursing, but then just rolls her eyes.

“Take out? We can call that pizza place they have good lasagna.” I love my mom I always get what I want.

“I guess if you won’t make lasagna for your son, you should buy it.” Over dramatic sigh.

“Oh come on Lu, its 8 pm if I make it from scratch we won’t eat ‘til like 11.” I’m fine with take out, but see weekend is coming up and I know I’ll want to go out I need my leverage.

“So? I’ll wait I want your pasagnia. Pleeease?” I look straight into her eyes and I can tell she is about to break.

She sighs, “Lu, I guess. Are you sure? I’m just tired.” Ha! She is trying to guilt trip me?

“What ever if it’s too much fucking effort don’t worry about it? I’ll just have a stupid banana.”

“No, I’ll make it,” she says. Watch this now.

“No, mom I know you are tired and you work so much. How about we get the take out and you make it up to me by letting me sleep at Robbie’s this weekend”

She smiles, “I’m sorry, I promise I will make you your lasagna on Sunday and sure you can go to Robbie’s on Saturday” See how she says she will make it on Sunday, she also knows how to play this game. This way she guaranties I’ll be in bed early for school.

“Fine, but I’ll stay at his Friday night and Saturday night.” I’m the king. I grab the keys, get some money from her and head to out to pick up some pasagnia.