A Picture of Confusion

sorry for the long haitus, folks! i\'ve been quite a bit busy for a while with university and everything. plus i just can\'t seem to find any inspiration lately. grrr. as usual, please review with any ideas or suggestions for the story as well as some helpful critisism, it\'ll be greatly appreciated.



so... without any further ado, i give you... the next chapter of APOC!





Soren groaned, turning under the sheets of the warm bed. Something was wrong. He could tell already even with his senses drugged from the heavy sleep he was waking from.



“Harvey?” He called out groggily, swinging his legs out over the bed, rubbing at his eyes until the blurriness went away. His feet pressed against the floor as he stood, moving around the bed to go to the hallway “Harvey?” Soren called a little louder. No answer again. The apartment appeared empty, there wasn’t much space to hide.



Letting out a heavy sigh Soren decided it was best to just go home now, it was quite dark out, meaning he must have been sleeping for a while. He shouldn’t have allowed himself the luxury. He wasn’t working himself hard enough. That was going to change the moment he stepped out of Harvey’s dumb apartment Soren decided.



Soren went to the door, picking up his shoes before he opened the door and left, stepping out onto the carpet of the hallway and down to the elevator, eventually out to the street. He purposefully left his shoes off, deciding that the long, not-quite-certain way home barefoot on pavement would be the start of his self inflicted punishment. The air was still icy, the type of cold that Michael used to refer to as ‘soul-raping’. Soren smiled softly at the thought. Michael wasn’t that bad, after all, was he? Maybe he should apologize? Soren nodded to himself, deciding that would be the plan. He would go to Mike’s, hangout for one night, then go home and punish himself like he should.



-



Soren stood on the back lawn of Mike’s typical suburban lawn behind his perfect suburban home. The frost on the grass felt like a relief from the rough icy pavement. Soren picked up a rock from the pathway and lightly threw it up to the window, making at tap. The cliché – 80’s movie move had been implemented by Soren long ago to get Mike to wake up, and now it felt weird to even think about trying anything different. After a few more rocks were tossed, the boys’ faithful strategy prevailed again as Michael opened the window, leaning out to take a look down at Soren.



“You comin’ in?” Mike asked, already knowing the other would say ‘yes’.



Soren nodded and Mike quickly shut the window, hurrying through the house to open the backdoor for his friend.



“Thanks man, sorry about earlier.” Soren said quickly, shuffling into the warm house. “I was just tired and stuff.”



Michael nodded like the good friend he was. “No worries Soar,” He smiled “It’s just good to see you. I believe you said something about Heathers before? I do believe a movie watching is in order.”



Soren couldn’t help but laugh lightly. Michael always spoke funny. “Yeah, sounds good. Basement as usual?” he asked



Shaking his head, Michael grinned wider. “I got a T.V for my room about two months ago.”



“What the hell, Mike?” Soren asked lightly with a smile. “A car and a T.V? A little spoiled don’t you think?” He joked. Michael’s family might have a lot of money, but Mike was far from spoiled, he was probably the kindest person Soren had ever talked to.



Michael just shrugged. “I dunno… I mean, my parents have been getting me a lot of stuff lately, not that I’m complaining,” he added with a smile, “It’s just kinda weird, y’know?”



Soren nodded, following the redhead up to his room. “Yeah, I guess. Maybe they just finally realized you’re not that Satanist that they thought you were.” He smiled jokingly.



“Haha, I know, right? That would be a superb situation, although I do believe that isn’t the case. They’re doing the same for Vikki.”



“Ah, I completely forgot about Vikki.” Soren stated, talking about Mike’s older sister who was actually the same age as Soren’s sister. “How’s she doing anyways? Still not existing on the face of the earth?”



“Well if she’s returned to this universe from the land of beyond that she’s usually located in, none of us have been informed. You know how she is. She kinda just… goes wherever the wind blows… literally.”



Soren chuckled and nodded in agreement, flopping himself on the overly-large bed with space sheets, stars and planets sewn on. “It’s so weird how you and Vikki are so different.” The blonde spoke aloud. “Cause like, Vikki’s all ‘I follow my heart and I’m true to nature’ and whatever, she kinda just does whatever… but you… you’re so different.” He said a bit distantly.



“Yeah?” Mike asked intrigued. “How am I that different?” He sat down next the lying down boy, leaning back on his hands.



“Hmmm… well, for starters… you’re much more reliable than her. You can never count on her to be anywhere when you need her. But you, you’re always there, no matter what. You’re constant, sure, stable… you know? Plus, she\'s much more harsh than you. She says and does whatever comes to mind at that moment. You… I could never see you doing that. You put too much care into everything you do. But sometimes… sometimes I think that hurts more, cause I know when you say something, you really mean it.” Soren’s eyes were closed, the light from Mike’s room filtering in gently through his eyelids. He liked this, this relaxed state of being.



Michael’s eyes were up in shock. Apparently Soren knew more about him than he thought. Yeah they’d been friends for just about ever, but Soren always seemed to be off in his own world, not really there when he was technically physically there. “Soren?”



“Yeah?” He asked, opening his eyes to look up at Michael.



“Can you stop surprising me?” Mike asked, a smile spreading across his features.



“Yeah, as soon as you stop being the best friend I could possibly have.” Soren sat up. “Seriously though, your sister’s lame and you’re cool. That’s pretty much all there is to it.” He smiled widely.



“Well how was I supposed to know you thought that. You never say anything, and you’ve hardly been around the months that have just past.” Michael’s voice was a bit deflated. How did Soren control his emotions so much?



A heavy sigh left the blonde’s parted lips. “Mike I,… hm… I know I’m a shitty friend, I know I’m not around, but really… I’m just doing things differently, my own way. I’ll be back for good after.”



“That’s not the point, Soren. I don’t even know who you’ve become lately. Even in the beginning of the summer when we still hung out you were starting to act weird, and then suddenly you dropped off the face of the earth. You talk about Vikki not being dependable, but you weren’t reliable either, Soar. You kept mysteriously canceling our plans, and suddenly you weren’t hanging out with the group anymore, you lost you’re job… I just… I mean, it doesn’t make sense, Soar… I don’t get it” Michael was watching Soren intently as he spoke. The boy really was a mystery, he always had been. But before it had been light-hearted, fun. Now it was plain to see that something was seriously wrong with his former best friend.



Soren nodded, taking it all in. “I’m making things better, Mike. Everything will be back to normal soon. Besides, you still have the rest of the crowd, y’know, Benny and them.”



Mike had already begun shaking his head before Soren had even finished the sentence. “ You know it’s not the same as when you and I hang out. You now that. That’s why we’ve always been so close. We’re good together, Soar. We’re a good team. Most people don’t work like that. We have our own system. I don’t know how to get close to other people like I can with you. And I have to say I miss it. I miss not calling you up at 2 a.m so we can sneak into Finchley’s pool or complain about Physics with you or anything. And honestly it sucks, and I can’t say there haven’t been times in which I have been thoroughly upset with you for abandoning me like you have.”



“Mike, I know, okay, I know.” He sighed heavily. “I just have some figuring out to do, some tweaking on stuff.”



“Well what the hell are you figuring out? You’re midlife crisis isn’t due for another twenty-eight years and as far as your biological clock is concerned… I think you’re fine.”



Soren nodded “I just… I’m getting myself together, y’know like, figuring it all out before I start up again.”



“Soar, no one ever gets themselves together. Life is like a consistent series of moments where you’re trying to pull everything together and make things flow smoothly as well as a series of set backs that take you farther from a point that you’re never going to reach anyways. That’s why they invented things like porn and anime, to take your mind off of the fact that you aren’t going to get there, and that no matter what, you’re still going to be okay. At least that’s what porn tells me.” Michael half heartedly tried to lift the mood a bit, Soren just looked so down.



“You think so? Cause… it’s just like… I’ve never been like anyone else. I kinda just wanna… get to that place… get to that place where I’m just… well that’s it, I just want to be.”



Michael smiled. This was why Soren was his favorite friend and continued to steal his heart. No one was like Soar. “ ‘Every snowflake is different, just like every other one.’ Oooooor something like that.” Michael laughed. My dad used to say that to Vikki and I a lot. Maybe you feel different, but so does everyone else, and we all should because we are. Is there anyone else you know like me?” He asked, already knowing the answer.



“Well, no, but that’s because you’re Michael. No one else can be like you, no matter how hard they try, you’re just so… Michael.” Soren tried to voice, flopping back onto the bed and claiming one of Mike’s fluffy pillows.



“And now you’re finally on to something!” Mike chuckled. “Because there’s this blasphemous realization circling the universe where Soren’s pretty cool too, because there is no one in the world like him. And there’s no one in this world I’d want to be as my closest friend. Soar, if you get to that place , what’s gonna be left of your personality? If you focus everything on getting there, you wouldn’t have had time to… I don’t know, go to the beach, watch a movie, hang out with old friends. It’s not life anymore.”



“Hey Mike”



“Yeah.”



“Write a fucking book. You’re too philosophical or whatever.”



[[ okay yeah. Review PLEASE!]]