Ghost of you
folder
Original - Misc › -Slash - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
19
Views:
8,334
Reviews:
104
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Original - Misc › -Slash - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
19
Views:
8,334
Reviews:
104
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance of characters to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. The Author holds exclusive rights to this work. Unauthorized duplication is prohibited.
Chapter 4.
A/N SonataArctica89, Madlodger, Mayo, elmo, yblue and bambi4real; Thanks for reviewing! *Hugs everyone*
This story goes well with my mood at the moment, because just last week I lost a dear relative of mine and so I am forced to deal with the sadness and missing that her death brought. Though it's hard to understand and let go, there are so many beautiful memories left and even with this grief, life continues on. I have both cried and laughed with my family this week, as we remember her and deal with this lost.
Anyway thank you again for everyone reading, lets continue on with the story!
BETAD by: Teeta
*****************************************************************************************
Chapter 4.
“So, Emma, what is the story about that handsome Russian?” One of the women asked after they had sat down in front of the coffee table. The other women also looked at her with quiet interest, keen to know what the answer would be. “I know that I am not the only woman to have noticed him, nor am I the only one to wonder what is truly going on between you two.” Anna continued.
“There is nothing going on between us, nothing except friendship.” Emma told them calmly, sipping her coffee.
“Really? … Well, not according to the rumors I’ve heard.” The woman said and the few others giggled. Emma sighed, trying to remain calm.
“You shouldn’t believe all the rumors you hear.” She said then.
“You don’t have to hide the truth from us Emma.” She grinned. “I, for one, couldn’t blame you the least bit…Should that man decide to claim my independence, I would gladly and without resistance, give it to him.” Anna laughed then and the others followed quietly, blushing.
Aino had just happened to walk into the room and heard them, she rolled her eyes. ‘Bunch of hens.’ She thought as she took a glass of water.
“I dare say, had they all looked like him, this country’s independence would have been long gone.” Anna said and more giggling could be heard. Aino froze. ‘A bunch of brainless hens.’ She thought again and couldn’t believe that she was really hearing this.
“I do wonder Anna, what would your husband or your father say if they heard this? Your husband and father who fought on the field for this country and for you?” Aino asked with cold voice. The woman looked at her coldly.
“Who asked you anything?” She asked with contempt. Aino held her gaze and then turned her eyes to Emma who had an apologetic look. She left the room without a word, deciding to walk to her house, the only house she had ever really considered home.
************
The man was looking at him again, Olavi noticed as he sat on the ground near the house examining the old books of his brother. For a moment their eyes met and it made his heartbeat increase, he felt his cheeks get hot, he was almost afraid to swallow. The man was the first to look away, quickly returning to his work.
With confusion Olavi looked around, saw his sister a little further away, kneeling on the ground near the roses. Yet her eyes were on him and frowning she glanced towards the Russian. Olavi tried to smile to her and lowered his gaze back towards the book on his lap.
Why was the man looking at him in such a manner? Why did it make him feel so strange and nervous every time when he did so? He closed his eyes for a moment, but could not make himself relax in the noise the men were making as they worked with the house. He took the book, his sketch book and pens and decided to walk to the lake.
“Olavi.” Aino called him as he was passing.
“Hm?” He asked and looked at her.
“Where are you going?” She asked.
“To the lake, I’ll come back for dinner, okay?” He told her.
“Okay, be careful.” She said.
“I will.” He answered, smiling gently to her; she was always worrying about him, always looking after him, though many times he was just as protective of her.
***********
He loved this time of the year, the late summer. He loved to watch the soft colors of the evening. He sat on the soft grass, his back against the firm oak tree, gazing towards the lake. The water was still as mirror, he felt himself relaxing as he watched the beautiful nature and listened to the sounds of it. He thought about them; his father, his mother and his brother. Many had said that he looked exactly like his elder brother and he wished he could remember him better. There were little pieces here and there that he did remember, he wasn’t sure if all of them had really happened.
He remembered a fall evening, a sound of a running stream. The voice of his brother, almost a whisper, telling him to place the bark ship onto the water. He remembered the nights and the terrible sounds of the war … His brother opening up his arms and welcoming them both to the safety of his embrace. Holding on to them, quietly whispering the words of Finlandia hymn* or just humming the tune close to their ears. He remembered that Elias had seemed so old to him, so wise, he had depended on his brother much like he would have relayed on a parent. It was strange now, now that he was the same age and he did not feel like he could do the same that his brother had. Take such responsibility for them. How hard it must have been, and how hard it had been. The letter that Emma had read out loud replayed itself often in his mind.
He stood up, removed his shoes and socks, tried the water with his toes before deciding to shed all of his clothes and take a swim in the quietness of the evening. The chillness of the water first made him hesitate, but he forced himself deeper, knowing that his body would soon get used to it. He stood still in the water that reached his waist. Looking around and seeing no one, he carefully ran his fingers on his arms and chest, examining his own body, wondering what it would feel like to know the touch of another person on a naked skin. He carefully let his hand move under the water and touched his organ. The touch, he had learned, could make him feel incredibly good, and also a bit ashamed when the pleasurable wave had washed over him, leaving him panting and dirty on the darkness of his own bed. Why did something so good feel so sinful at the same time? Few light touches more and then he willed himself to stop touching, to stop the sinful act, though his body yearned for more.
****************
Alexander, after finishing the work for the day, decided to make a walk to the lake before dinner time.
When he reached the shore and was about to step closer to the lake, he saw the boy. He swallowed hard, his face flushed, as he saw the naked flawless skin of the boys back, the light muscles of his arms, the way that the boy ran his hands on his skin, washing himself. He could almost see the curves of the boy’s buttocks, but only almost… He felt his cock twitching with interest, reminding him of how long it had been since the last time he had even seen such a pleasurable sight, let alone touch one.
When the boy turned, a part of him had expected for a small moment, to meet with warm green eyes, but instead met with startled blue ones.
“Oh you scared me.” The boy stuttered and stepped back, suddenly very aware of his own nakedness. He could feel the heat on his face, almost certain that his cheeks had flushed.
“I am sorry, did not mean to startle you.” Alexander told the boy, trying to hide a smile as his eyes still took in the beauty of the creature before him. The boy who kept reminding him of his dead lover.
“It’s okay, I just, you came so quietly and I was lost in my thoughts… I decided to take a swim.” Olavi spoke and suddenly felt incredibly stupid. Of course the man could see what he had been doing, he was standing in the water after all!
“Yes, it’s lovely, warm and...” Alexander started looking up to the sky.
“Indeed it is.” Olavi admitted, wrapping his arms around himself, suddenly feeling very cold, he tried to keep his lips from trembling.
The man stared at him, they were both silent and Olavi didn’t dare to move from the water that hid his naked lower body. No one had ever looked at him quite in the way that older man did and somehow he felt embarrassed of the thought that he could see him completely out of clothes if he were to walk to the shore now.
“I’m naked.” He said then as he thought of nothing else, he almost giggled saying it out loud because it sounded so stupid and then he blushed.
“Oh, I’m sorry, I uh, I’ll turn around then, shall I?” The man said quickly and turned his back to him.
Olavi started moving, still cursing the words that he had chosen. Why couldn’t the other man see him naked? It wasn’t like he had never been naked in front of other men, but then again, he had never gotten such an intensive look from them, either.
“I believe it’s almost dinner time, will you, um… would you like to walk with me?” Olavi asked while buttoning his shirt. The man turned to face him.
“Yes, of course, I am feeling a bit hungry already.”
********************
Dinner was mostly spent in an uncomfortable silence that was not even broken by the children. Aino glared at Alexander in that suspicious way of hers, Alexander tried to offer her a smile, but like often before, it was coldly taken. Emma was absent-minded as she thought about the conversation with her friends and Olavi glanced at Alexander from time to time, wondering what was it in the man that made him feel so curious. Finally it was Elias, Emma’s son, that decided to break the long lasted silence and started telling them how he had captured a rabbit all by himself, while playing in the foods, the story of course was a lie, but was told with great use of imagination.
*****************
In the darkness he saw the figure, the person who sat close to the window, seeming to watch his sleep. Alexander tried to see more clearly, shifting on the bed. The figure stood up and the light revealed his face, a gentle, loving smile on the full lips. “Elias?” He asked with a whisper.
The blond boy moved closer, more light filled the room, revealing the smile on his face that never faded. Alexander sat up, looked at him.
“I miss you.” He told him.
“And I you Sascha…” The light touch of the soft hand on his face, Alexander placed his own on the top of it and leaned towards the gentle hand. He looked up to the green eyes that he had missed, placed his other hand on his waist pulling him on his lap. Their lips met.
“I’m sorry…” He said.
“Shhh… Sascha…” A finger was placed on his lips and soon removed. The smile was still there; sad and loving.
“Stay with me…” He pleaded.
“I cannot… you are dreaming Sascha… This is a dream and soon you’ll wake up…. Wake up Sascha…”
He opened his eyes, finding himself on the bed in the quiet room. He lifted his hand up to cover his eyes. It was only a dream. It was just a dream, but why did he feel so real in it? Over 11 years and still he missed him enough to bring tears in his eyes. Why was it so hard? Of all the people he had lost, losing Elias had been the hardest, seeing his death… It still made him feel sick, it was not the way he wanted to remember his love, he’d rather remember him the way that he had been on their last night together, or the way he appeared to him in his dreams.
He got up from the bed, deciding to get a glass of water. He walked towards the kitchen, his heart jumping when he saw him through the kitchen doorway; the boy was facing the window, dressed only in pair of pants, the cool light of the moon embracing the slim figure almost like a lover would. He could not be seeing a dream again? Could he? Alexander wondered as he quietly walked closer, wanting so much for it to be him. He touched the shoulder and with a startle the boy turned, a flash of green eyes. Alexander smiled, leaned forward and captured the inviting lips with his own.
TBC.
****************************************************************************************
*Jean Sibelius; Finlandia.
This story goes well with my mood at the moment, because just last week I lost a dear relative of mine and so I am forced to deal with the sadness and missing that her death brought. Though it's hard to understand and let go, there are so many beautiful memories left and even with this grief, life continues on. I have both cried and laughed with my family this week, as we remember her and deal with this lost.
Anyway thank you again for everyone reading, lets continue on with the story!
BETAD by: Teeta
*****************************************************************************************
Chapter 4.
“So, Emma, what is the story about that handsome Russian?” One of the women asked after they had sat down in front of the coffee table. The other women also looked at her with quiet interest, keen to know what the answer would be. “I know that I am not the only woman to have noticed him, nor am I the only one to wonder what is truly going on between you two.” Anna continued.
“There is nothing going on between us, nothing except friendship.” Emma told them calmly, sipping her coffee.
“Really? … Well, not according to the rumors I’ve heard.” The woman said and the few others giggled. Emma sighed, trying to remain calm.
“You shouldn’t believe all the rumors you hear.” She said then.
“You don’t have to hide the truth from us Emma.” She grinned. “I, for one, couldn’t blame you the least bit…Should that man decide to claim my independence, I would gladly and without resistance, give it to him.” Anna laughed then and the others followed quietly, blushing.
Aino had just happened to walk into the room and heard them, she rolled her eyes. ‘Bunch of hens.’ She thought as she took a glass of water.
“I dare say, had they all looked like him, this country’s independence would have been long gone.” Anna said and more giggling could be heard. Aino froze. ‘A bunch of brainless hens.’ She thought again and couldn’t believe that she was really hearing this.
“I do wonder Anna, what would your husband or your father say if they heard this? Your husband and father who fought on the field for this country and for you?” Aino asked with cold voice. The woman looked at her coldly.
“Who asked you anything?” She asked with contempt. Aino held her gaze and then turned her eyes to Emma who had an apologetic look. She left the room without a word, deciding to walk to her house, the only house she had ever really considered home.
************
The man was looking at him again, Olavi noticed as he sat on the ground near the house examining the old books of his brother. For a moment their eyes met and it made his heartbeat increase, he felt his cheeks get hot, he was almost afraid to swallow. The man was the first to look away, quickly returning to his work.
With confusion Olavi looked around, saw his sister a little further away, kneeling on the ground near the roses. Yet her eyes were on him and frowning she glanced towards the Russian. Olavi tried to smile to her and lowered his gaze back towards the book on his lap.
Why was the man looking at him in such a manner? Why did it make him feel so strange and nervous every time when he did so? He closed his eyes for a moment, but could not make himself relax in the noise the men were making as they worked with the house. He took the book, his sketch book and pens and decided to walk to the lake.
“Olavi.” Aino called him as he was passing.
“Hm?” He asked and looked at her.
“Where are you going?” She asked.
“To the lake, I’ll come back for dinner, okay?” He told her.
“Okay, be careful.” She said.
“I will.” He answered, smiling gently to her; she was always worrying about him, always looking after him, though many times he was just as protective of her.
***********
He loved this time of the year, the late summer. He loved to watch the soft colors of the evening. He sat on the soft grass, his back against the firm oak tree, gazing towards the lake. The water was still as mirror, he felt himself relaxing as he watched the beautiful nature and listened to the sounds of it. He thought about them; his father, his mother and his brother. Many had said that he looked exactly like his elder brother and he wished he could remember him better. There were little pieces here and there that he did remember, he wasn’t sure if all of them had really happened.
He remembered a fall evening, a sound of a running stream. The voice of his brother, almost a whisper, telling him to place the bark ship onto the water. He remembered the nights and the terrible sounds of the war … His brother opening up his arms and welcoming them both to the safety of his embrace. Holding on to them, quietly whispering the words of Finlandia hymn* or just humming the tune close to their ears. He remembered that Elias had seemed so old to him, so wise, he had depended on his brother much like he would have relayed on a parent. It was strange now, now that he was the same age and he did not feel like he could do the same that his brother had. Take such responsibility for them. How hard it must have been, and how hard it had been. The letter that Emma had read out loud replayed itself often in his mind.
He stood up, removed his shoes and socks, tried the water with his toes before deciding to shed all of his clothes and take a swim in the quietness of the evening. The chillness of the water first made him hesitate, but he forced himself deeper, knowing that his body would soon get used to it. He stood still in the water that reached his waist. Looking around and seeing no one, he carefully ran his fingers on his arms and chest, examining his own body, wondering what it would feel like to know the touch of another person on a naked skin. He carefully let his hand move under the water and touched his organ. The touch, he had learned, could make him feel incredibly good, and also a bit ashamed when the pleasurable wave had washed over him, leaving him panting and dirty on the darkness of his own bed. Why did something so good feel so sinful at the same time? Few light touches more and then he willed himself to stop touching, to stop the sinful act, though his body yearned for more.
****************
Alexander, after finishing the work for the day, decided to make a walk to the lake before dinner time.
When he reached the shore and was about to step closer to the lake, he saw the boy. He swallowed hard, his face flushed, as he saw the naked flawless skin of the boys back, the light muscles of his arms, the way that the boy ran his hands on his skin, washing himself. He could almost see the curves of the boy’s buttocks, but only almost… He felt his cock twitching with interest, reminding him of how long it had been since the last time he had even seen such a pleasurable sight, let alone touch one.
When the boy turned, a part of him had expected for a small moment, to meet with warm green eyes, but instead met with startled blue ones.
“Oh you scared me.” The boy stuttered and stepped back, suddenly very aware of his own nakedness. He could feel the heat on his face, almost certain that his cheeks had flushed.
“I am sorry, did not mean to startle you.” Alexander told the boy, trying to hide a smile as his eyes still took in the beauty of the creature before him. The boy who kept reminding him of his dead lover.
“It’s okay, I just, you came so quietly and I was lost in my thoughts… I decided to take a swim.” Olavi spoke and suddenly felt incredibly stupid. Of course the man could see what he had been doing, he was standing in the water after all!
“Yes, it’s lovely, warm and...” Alexander started looking up to the sky.
“Indeed it is.” Olavi admitted, wrapping his arms around himself, suddenly feeling very cold, he tried to keep his lips from trembling.
The man stared at him, they were both silent and Olavi didn’t dare to move from the water that hid his naked lower body. No one had ever looked at him quite in the way that older man did and somehow he felt embarrassed of the thought that he could see him completely out of clothes if he were to walk to the shore now.
“I’m naked.” He said then as he thought of nothing else, he almost giggled saying it out loud because it sounded so stupid and then he blushed.
“Oh, I’m sorry, I uh, I’ll turn around then, shall I?” The man said quickly and turned his back to him.
Olavi started moving, still cursing the words that he had chosen. Why couldn’t the other man see him naked? It wasn’t like he had never been naked in front of other men, but then again, he had never gotten such an intensive look from them, either.
“I believe it’s almost dinner time, will you, um… would you like to walk with me?” Olavi asked while buttoning his shirt. The man turned to face him.
“Yes, of course, I am feeling a bit hungry already.”
********************
Dinner was mostly spent in an uncomfortable silence that was not even broken by the children. Aino glared at Alexander in that suspicious way of hers, Alexander tried to offer her a smile, but like often before, it was coldly taken. Emma was absent-minded as she thought about the conversation with her friends and Olavi glanced at Alexander from time to time, wondering what was it in the man that made him feel so curious. Finally it was Elias, Emma’s son, that decided to break the long lasted silence and started telling them how he had captured a rabbit all by himself, while playing in the foods, the story of course was a lie, but was told with great use of imagination.
*****************
In the darkness he saw the figure, the person who sat close to the window, seeming to watch his sleep. Alexander tried to see more clearly, shifting on the bed. The figure stood up and the light revealed his face, a gentle, loving smile on the full lips. “Elias?” He asked with a whisper.
The blond boy moved closer, more light filled the room, revealing the smile on his face that never faded. Alexander sat up, looked at him.
“I miss you.” He told him.
“And I you Sascha…” The light touch of the soft hand on his face, Alexander placed his own on the top of it and leaned towards the gentle hand. He looked up to the green eyes that he had missed, placed his other hand on his waist pulling him on his lap. Their lips met.
“I’m sorry…” He said.
“Shhh… Sascha…” A finger was placed on his lips and soon removed. The smile was still there; sad and loving.
“Stay with me…” He pleaded.
“I cannot… you are dreaming Sascha… This is a dream and soon you’ll wake up…. Wake up Sascha…”
He opened his eyes, finding himself on the bed in the quiet room. He lifted his hand up to cover his eyes. It was only a dream. It was just a dream, but why did he feel so real in it? Over 11 years and still he missed him enough to bring tears in his eyes. Why was it so hard? Of all the people he had lost, losing Elias had been the hardest, seeing his death… It still made him feel sick, it was not the way he wanted to remember his love, he’d rather remember him the way that he had been on their last night together, or the way he appeared to him in his dreams.
He got up from the bed, deciding to get a glass of water. He walked towards the kitchen, his heart jumping when he saw him through the kitchen doorway; the boy was facing the window, dressed only in pair of pants, the cool light of the moon embracing the slim figure almost like a lover would. He could not be seeing a dream again? Could he? Alexander wondered as he quietly walked closer, wanting so much for it to be him. He touched the shoulder and with a startle the boy turned, a flash of green eyes. Alexander smiled, leaned forward and captured the inviting lips with his own.
TBC.
****************************************************************************************
*Jean Sibelius; Finlandia.