Even Angels Fall

The truth was, Sarah was pretty amazed at how much she was enjoying spending time with Chris on their date. He was sweet and polite, and once he got over his initial shyness, he could actually be quite funny. He and Sarah had a good time talking over dinner, and then went to a small coffee shop afterwards.

Sitting on an overstuffed couch in a corner of the eclectic café, Sarah pulled her feet under her and took a sip of her cappuccino. “So, what did you go to school for?” she asked Chris, trying to focus her entire attention on him, like he deserved, although now and then her mind would wander. “I mean, do you get an English degree to become a copyeditor, or is it journalism?”

Cocking his head to the side, Chris smiled. “I have a degree in theater, actually,” he told Sarah. “From a tiny liberal arts college upstate. Which certainly seemed to affirm my father’s belief that I was gay.” When he saw Sarah’s cheeks color slightly and her eyes drop down, he laughed. “It’s okay. Everyone thinks so.”

“And you’re sure you’re not?” Sarah rolled her eyes at herself for letting that one slip out. “Geez, I’m sorry. I’m a complete ass…”

Laughing heartily this time, Chris shook his head. “No, it’s fine,” he told her. “And yes, I am sure. I like women, and have never in my life been even slightly aroused by the idea of a naked man. I’m pretty secure in my sexuality, actually. Like, there’s no guy I’ve ever met that I have thought, ‘wow, I’d like to kiss him.’ Unlike what I’m thinking right now, looking at you.”

Sarah looked at Chris with shock, taken aback with how much more forward he was than she had expected. He was smiling at her hopefully, and it made Sarah feel good to be wanted. “Was that an extremely contrived way of asking if you could kiss me?” Sarah asked Chris teasingly.

“I wouldn’t choose the word ‘contrived’ myself,” Chris grinned back at her. “But yes. I was asking if I could kiss you.”

All night long, Sarah had been putting in an effort to give Chris a chance. After all, she would be an idiot to not have interest in him because she couldn’t get the image of a certain gorgeous tattooed singer out of her head – a person she had never even spoken to – when she had a guy that was looking at her with the kind of attraction Chris was staring at her with now. And once his initial bashfulness had passed, she did find him fun and witty. “Well, in that case, you have permission.”

Closing her eyes, Sarah tilted her head slightly as she felt Chris lean over and place his hand on her shoulder. He then pressed his mouth to hers, and his kiss was soft and innocent. Not bad in any way, but…

Pulling back, Chris’s face had turned a little pink. “You didn’t enjoy that,” he said softly to Sarah.

“That… that’s not true,” Sarah rushed to disagree, although she felt a lump in her stomach as she saw Chris’s eyes. “It was nice. It was a very nice kiss.”

“Nice?” Chris raised his eyebrows and looked at Sarah. “See, I’ve found, over the years, that when a woman says that a kiss was nice, she’s saying that I’m not the worst kisser in the world, but she just doesn’t feel that spark. Am I managing to get close to how you are feeling?” he asked, not seeming angry.

“I’m sorry,” Sarah gave Chris a small smile. “I think you’re great. You’re cute, and funny, and thoughtful, and - ” She cut herself off from finishing, though, guessing he wouldn’t want to hear that word again.

“And nice,” Chris supplied with a little grin. “It’s okay, Sarah. I think you’re a cool girl, and I liked hanging out with you tonight. If you just don’t feel that thing – you know, that thing that separates guy friends from boyfriends – that’s okay. Of course, I am going to have to tell everyone in the office that I nailed you on Monday.”

Her mouth dropping open with shock, Sarah burst into laughter. “You know, you really are like a different person when you get out of your shell,” she shook her head admiringly at Chris. “And I did have a great time tonight. I hope we can hang out again.”

“I’d like that,” Chris agreed with Sarah. They then sat back, both feeling a bit more relaxed knowing that they were just dealing with getting to know each other as friends now, and spent the rest of the night doing just that.

When the night began winding down, Chris walked Sarah to a taxi and kissed her chastely on the cheek, promising to tell everyone at the magazine that she was an animal in bed. Sarah laughed and climbed in the car, happy she had agreed to go on the date and had gotten the chance to know Chris. Still, a small part of her was annoyed with herself. ‘Was it just that Chris and I don’t have that connection, the right chemistry or something?’ she wondered to herself as she sat in the backseat of the cab. ‘Or is it that I’m a complete reject, totally infatuated with a guy that doesn’t know me, wouldn’t be interested in me even if he did, who’s off limits on so many levels… Yeah, that’s probably it.’

-----

After her date with Chris on Friday night, Sarah spent Saturday morning still annoyed with herself. “I thought I just wanted to seem desirable to someone,” she chided herself silently as she did dishes in the kitchen. “But Chris was awesome, and totally made me feel pretty. So why wasn’t that enough?”

Letting out a sigh, Sarah decided to not berate herself too much. Maybe it really was just a case of no chemistry, not a weird obsession with Zip. ‘I know,’ Sarah thought to herself with a smile. ‘I’ll go out tonight. I’ll dress up, go out, and try to find a boy who I am attracted to that I can kiss. That’ll remind me that there are plenty of boys out there that can give me butterflies in the tummy.’

On her way to the bathroom to take a shower, Sarah decided she should call Eddie a little later and say she was staying in that night. He often called to see what she was up to, which was nice of him, but she was pretty sure he wouldn’t take to well to the idea of Sarah going out alone.

No, for the first night since she had arrived in New York months earlier, Sarah was going to go out and have a good time – not as Eddie’s little sister, or the baby of Eddie’s group of friends, but as a twenty-year-old woman on her own. And the idea thrilled Sarah as she quickly undressed, jumping into the shower and wondering where she should go that night, and what she should wear.

-----

Not wanting to take a chance of running into Eddie or any of his friends, Sarah quickly decided that live music venues were out of the picture. Instead, she would go to a dance club – the type of place she knew Sin and Eddie avoided like the plague. Sin complained that techno wasn’t even music, and Eddie referred to all big clubs as ‘meat markets’. “Sounds perfect,” Sarah giggled to herself as she walked out of her apartment, locking the door behind her.

Sarah had wanted to look attractive without looking like she was trying too hard, so she had chosen a simple outfit. Formfitting black pants flattered her shapely legs, and she wore a tasteful shimmery gray tank top that was becoming without being too showy. Her hair fell in loose waves around her face, and she put on just a touch more makeup than usual. As she walked out of the apartment building, a guy in his early thirties that lived on another floor who never really had paid her mind before smiled approvingly while opening the door for her. ‘Perfect,’ Sarah grinned to herself. That was just the type of reaction she was looking for.

Catching a cab fairly quickly, Sarah told the driver where to take her. She had decided to go to a large club she had heard people talking about when she was on the subway and had also read about in the Village Voice. Apparently, it was ‘the’ place to go right now, and although it got selective about who was let in when it got crowded, the article Sarah had read said that if you arrived before ten, you had a much better shot.

“Yeah, right,” Sarah said, her round eyes growing wide as she saw the line to get in wrapping around the city block. Men and women were dressed to the nines, all hoping to be allowed into the club, an old Victorian building that had lights and music pumping out the front door. Paying the cab driver, she decided she might as well take a chance. After all, even if she couldn’t get in, maybe some of the people waiting outside could suggest another place to go.

Sarah had been waiting outside for about an hour, growing more bored by the minute. Everyone in the crowd seemed completely single-minded about getting into this club, and wouldn’t even recommend an alternative when Sarah asked. She was just about to turn and leave to take a cab home, defeated, when she heard a small segment of the crowd begin to roar excitedly. Looking over curiously to see what was causing the stir, Sarah felt her heart jump into her throat.

Walking up towards the front door, smiling at fans and looking as confident as ever, was Zip. Of course, he didn’t have to wait in any line to get inside. As he approached the bouncer, who he gave a quick hug to (in that shoulder-to-shoulder clasping-hands manly way), he turned back towards the crowd, to give everyone one more goodbye before heading in. As he did, though, he froze.

“Sarah?”

At this point, Sarah couldn’t speak. How did Zip even know her name? Luckily, the bouncer spoke, filling in the awkward silence that Sarah’s lack of a response had offered. “Do you know her?” he asked Zip. “She can come in with you, if you want.”

Looking back at the bouncer, Zip felt his heart beating hard in his chest. Why had he said her name? Why hadn’t he been able to just look past her, to blend her face in with the dozens of others all around? Hell, why did she have to be there at all? “Yeah, that would be great,” he told the bouncer, giving him a small smile. “Come on, Sarah,” he called to her with a tilt of his head.

Sarah felt a little lightheaded as she walked past dozens of people, all looking at her with envy, to join Zip by his side. Taking a laminated pass from the bouncer, she looked down at it with confusion as she and Zip walked in through the doors. “It’s a VIP pass,” he motioned to Sarah, looking at the pass instead of her eyes. “It’s all access.”

“You don’t have one,” Sarah finally found something to say to Zip.

“Why would I need one?” Zip nudged Sarah, giving her one of his normal cocky grins. “Everyone knows who I am.”

Letting out a little chuckle, Sarah relaxed just a bit as Zip led her through the crowd and upstairs to the VIP lounge. Sarah glanced around, realizing she recognized a couple as musicians and television personalities. Finally, she got the nerve to look up at Zip. “Thanks for getting me in,” she told him, her throat feeling tight. “I mean, I’m shocked you even remembered me. We’ve never actually spoken.”

Feeling a wave of embarrassment move over him, Zip hid it with his usual unreadable expression and a shrug. “I’ve got a weird memory,” he told Sarah truthfully. “I remember faces, like, automatically.”

‘Names, not so much,’ he thought to himself. ‘Considering I usually forget the name of the girl I’m sleeping with on any given night before the condom is off.’ But, for some reason, he could not forget Sarah’s name, even though he tried to.

“Anyway,” Zip continued, suddenly feeling uncomfortable with the way his mind was working at the present – and the way his body was reacting to having Sarah in such close proximity. “I’m glad I was able to get you in, but I should probably go now. I have people waiting over there.”

Looking over to the corner where Zip motioned, Sarah felt her stomach drop in disappointment. A reserved table was set up, with one of the other members of Broken Dynamite – Phil? – sitting amongst a group of four very attractive girls, two of whom were looking at Zip across the room, their intentions obvious. “Oh,” Sarah replied, looking down. “Of course. Go ahead; I don’t want to keep you.” Forcing herself to look up and meet Zip’s black eyes, she gave him a little smile. “Thanks again so much for getting me in, anyway.”

“No problem,” Zip replied, trying to keep his face neutral. He paused momentarily as Sarah walked away with a wave, unable to push away the thought of how much he wished he could spend the evening getting to know her instead of hanging out with a table filled with groupies.

‘Forget it,’ Zip told himself, shaking his head a little and heading towards the corner. ‘That is just not an option.’ Pulling himself together, he approached the table and took a seat next to the pretty redhead at the end who greeted him immediately with a wet kiss. Glancing once more towards Sarah, he turned back to the group and gave everyone one of his patented cocky grins.

-----

One of the biggest benefits for Sarah to having a VIP pass was that she wasn’t carded for alcohol – a fact she took quick advantage of. Wandering into another section of the VIP area to avoid having to look at Zip and the girls drooling over him, she had seated herself at the bar and begun drinking. After about an hour, her low tolerance was getting the better of her, and she decided to slow down.

“Hey there,” a male voice came over Sarah’s shoulder, catching her by surprise. Looking back, she saw a man who had to be at least forty and appeared vaguely familiar. “Can I buy you a drink?”

“I’m okay, thanks,” Sarah shook her head. “I think I’ve had enough tonight.”

“Don’t be silly,” the man took a seat next to Sarah without invitation. He had obviously already had more to drink than Sarah. “I mean, I have to be up at four in the morning to anchor Channel Five news, and you don’t see me taking the easy way out, do you?”

‘So that’s why he looks familiar,’ Sarah thought to herself. ‘He’s a news anchor.’ Turning to him, Sarah gave him a polite smile but shook her head. “I appreciate the offer,” she told him. “But really, I don’t want another drink.”

Apparently, his status on morning news made the man feel like women wanted him, and he seemed perplexed that Sarah wasn’t responding to his advances. “Oh, come on, babe. One drink with Roddy Dowley? Think of it as a story you can tell your friends tomorrow. After we have breakfast together…” Suddenly, Roddy’s arm was around Sarah’s waist and his hand was on her knee.

Sarah didn’t want to cause a scene in the middle of the VIP area of this exclusive club that Zip had been nice to get her into, but Roddy was making her very uncomfortable. As his hand quickly moved from her knee to her inner thigh, Sarah jumped and her face flushed. Trying to push his hand back without causing a stir, Sarah was really beginning to get nervous. “Please don’t do that,” she told him, hating that she couldn’t hide the hint of fear in her voice.

But Roddy was not to be dissuaded by Sarah. “Come on, babe,” he slurred, beginning to look annoyed at her resistance. “You’re a cute girl, but you’re no one special. I’m the best you’re going to do tonight – and probably for many nights,” his hand slid between her thighs again, and Sarah felt tears of fear and embarrassment burning at her eyes. Normally, she had no problem handling situations like this. But right now she was alone, she was drunk, and she really didn’t want to cause a scene. Luckily for her, she didn’t have to.

“Yeah, you’re going to leave the girl alone now,” Zip’s voice was strong and clear as the put his hand on Roddy’s shoulder and spun him around in his chair. “She asked you to go, and that’s what you’re going to do.”

“What’s it to you?” Roddy stood up, slightly off balance from his inebriation. Suddenly, his brown crinkled. “Wait, I know you. You’re the singer for that band, right?”

“Yes,” Zip rolled his eyes with annoyance at the drunken middle-aged man in front of him. When he had been walking to the bathroom and suddenly seen Sarah trying to quietly fight off Roddy, his blood had begun to boil. Now, though, standing before him, the middle-aged C-list celebrity seemed pathetic, not threatening. “I’m THE singer from THAT band.”

Trying to straighten himself up a little as he realized he was standing before a much more well-known celebrity, Roddy glanced over at Sarah and then back at Zip. “Sorry to offend, man,” he told Zip, trying to sound younger and hipper than he was. “I didn’t realize the girl was with you.”

Looking over at Sarah, Zip felt his stomach tumble when he saw that her eyes were still glassy with unshed tears. Immediately, his anger towards Roddy returned. “Well, I am. So get lost.”

In his drunkenness, Roddy looked like he wanted to say something biting back towards Zip. But considering that, firstly, Zip was much younger, taller, and in better shape, and, secondly, that Roddy didn’t like taking chances pissing off people that could possibly help move his career forward in any way, he decided to do nothing. “My apologies, miss,” he turned to Sarah. Looking back towards Zip for approval – which he did not receive – his shoulders slumped and he slithered away.

“Are you okay?” Zip took a step towards Sarah and, without thinking, put his hand on her shoulder. He was taken aback with how soft her skin was under his fingers as he looked into her big brown eyes. “Don’t worry, that guy was an asshole, but he was never a real threat. So are you going to be alright?”

Unable to unlock her gaze from Zip’s eyes, Sarah nodded and felt her face suddenly flush with embarrassment. “I just… I wasn’t sure what to do,” she said softly, noticing that Zip still hadn’t removed his hand from her shoulder and being glad for that fact. “He just kept grabbing at me.”

“Guys will do that,” Zip said, not unkindly. “Especially drunk losers when they get around pretty young girls.”

Knowing her cheeks were turning even pinker at his words, Sarah finally broke her eye contact with Zip and looked down at her hands in her lap. “Yeah, well, thanks for helping me, anyhow,” she told him. “That was just really… uncomfortable.”

“No problem,” Zip said, silently berating himself for having slipped up and told Sarah that she was pretty. “Listen, let me walk you to a cab, okay? I want to make sure you get out of here safely, without having to deal with any more idiots.”

“I’d like that,” Sarah smiled a little as she nodded, climbing off the stool she was sitting on and picking up her purse. “Thank you.”

Zip led Sarah down a set of back stairs that she hadn’t even realized were there, and out through a door that led to the side of the club. “See, being a rock star is kind of like being Batman,” Zip chuckled. “All these secret entrances and such.” Suddenly, he noticed that Sarah was still shaking beside him. “Hey, are you okay?”

Biting her lip, Sarah felt supremely embarrassed. After all, it had been her own fault that she had ended up alone in this club, drunk, in a predicament like that. And then she hadn’t even known how to react to Roddy, instead having to be saved by Zip. “I’m just yelling at myself,” she admitted to Zip, looking up at him. “I shouldn’t have come alone here like this.” Suddenly, something hit her and she bit her lip. “Listen, could you not tell Sin that you saw me tonight? I mean, I don’t think Eddie or Sin would take to well to the idea…”

“Of course,” Zip gave Sarah a small smile. “It’ll be our dirty little secret.” Suddenly, Zip – who couldn’t remember the last time he blushed – felt his face flush. “That came out wrong,” he tried to explain.

Laughing a little, Sarah shook her head. “It’s okay,” she told him softly.

“Are you sure you’re going to be okay?” Zip asked with concern, noting that Sarah was still shaking slightly. “You look kind of off.”

Biting her lip, Sarah shook her head. “Usually I’m not like this,” she told Zip honestly. “I’m actually usually really stubborn, and if a guy acted like that guy just did, normally I would just knee him in the balls or something. I guess I’m just realizing that I’m not so sure of myself, now that I’m living in New York. That was just a really uncomfortable situation, and now I have to go home and… and I guess I just don’t really feel like being alone right now.”

“You could come to my place.”

Both Sarah and Zip looked shocked at the words that had just escaped his mouth. “I mean-” Zip was cursing himself silently. Why had he just said that? What the fuck was he thinking? “I mean, I’m ready to leave here anyway. You could come by for a little while, and then go home when you feel ready.”

‘This is not happening,’ Sarah thought to herself, her heart beating hard in her chest. “If it wouldn’t be too much of an inconvenience…” her voice was soft. “It would be nice to have someone to talk to for a little bit.”

“No problem,” Zip said, although his brain was telling him to find a way out of this RIGHT NOW. Bringing Sarah home with him could have absolutely no good consequences, he was sure. Besides, he hadn’t brought a girl back to his place since… ‘Sin, fuck,’ Zip thought to himself. ‘She’ll kill me.’

“Listen, I know this might be weird because of Sin,” Sarah seemed to read Zip’s discomfort, and she also didn’t really want to do anything that would upset anyone. “So if I should just go home…”

‘She gave you an out,’ Zip yelled silently at himself. ‘Take it, you dick!’

“We can just make this another part of our secret,” Zip said instead, wondering how it would feel when Sin found out about this and castrated him with an Exacto knife. “We don’t have to tell anyone. After all, we’re just talking.”

“Right,” Sarah nodded. “Okay, then. Ready to go?”

‘No,’ Zip thought.

“Sure,” he said aloud. “Let’s go.”

-----

THANKS TO ALL WHO HAVE READ AND REVIEWED SO FAR. THIS IS A DIFFICULT STORY FOR ME TO KNOW HOW TO APPROACH. THE THING IS, BOTH OF THE MAIN CHARACTERS HAVE THINGS ABOUT THEM THAT MAKE THEM NOT VERY LIKABLE. I DID THAT ON PURPOSE, AS I WANT TO SEE IF I CAN DEVELOP CHARACTER ARCS AND GRADUAL CHANGES IN PERSONALITY. HOPEFULLY, I CAN. ANYWAY, HERE ARE RESPONSES TO SOME REVIEWERS:

FOAMYFAN – ZIP’S REAL NAME WILL BE TOLD IN THIS STORY, FYI.

TEMPLETON21 – I THINK ZIP’S NOT EVEN SURE OF HIS MOTIVES RIGHT NOW FOR HIS INTEREST IN SARAH, SO I DISCOUNT NOTHING (INCLUDING HIM JUST BEING A BIG DICK).

ROSIE – AS I SAID ABOVE, I’M NOT SAYING WHAT ZIP’S MOTIVATIONS ARE. BUT AS FOR SARAH NOT LISTENING TO SIN OR EDDIE, THAT’S ALREADY AN OBVIOUS CHARACTER TRAIT OF HERS, SO I WOULDN’T EXPECT IT TO CHANGE ANYTIME SOON.

AFICI0NADA – YES, EDDIE’S REACTION SHOULD BE GOOD…

ADAEE – UM… BASED ON YOUR REVIEW, YOU MIGHT NOT LIKE HOW THIS STORY DEVELOPS… I’M SORRY…

MARIANNA – I ACTUALLY HADN’T NOTICED THAT. THANKS FOR POINTING IT OUT!

IOTC247 – I USE CAPS IN MY COMMENTS JUST TO SEPARATE THEM FROM THE REST OF THE STORY. THAT’S THE ONLY REASON.

SAMMO_00 – JUST THE COOKIES WILL DO, THANKS! AND I LIKE CHOCOLATE CHIPS!

ROSIE – SARAH IS A BRAT, BUT I’M HOPING TO SEE IF I CAN DEVELOP HER CHARACTER THROUGH EXPERIENCES.

THANKS ALSO TO MEGAN, CARIAD, TENSHISTAR, GIRLFIXER, FRAN, AND WOLF FOR REVIEWING. IT’S AWESOME OF YOU!