The Man of My Dreams

A/N: Thanks to everyone who reviewed especially Memme, mad props to you for your support in this and my other short story. Sorry this chapter is so late in coming, life\'s been getting in the way. But here it is. Please review! I thrive on feedback. All standard disclaimers apply.

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It was a short little fairy tale.

Once upon a time, in the magical land of California, there was a boy called Josh Fields. Josh was of the belief that he was nothing special, a commoner. Boys like him were a dime a dozen. But that didn’t mean he couldn’t hope or dream, just like everybody else. And just like everybody else, what Josh dreamed of was happiness. True, pure happiness. Most other people thought that happiness came from wealth or power. A few believed that happiness came from self-confidence and personal balance. But Josh, along with all the silly dreamers and hopeless romantics of the world believed in love. So Josh dreamed of having the most perfect and wonderful love he could have. Maybe, he thought, he would someday meet his one true love, his prince charming. And Josh had the happy misfortune of falling for the most perfect, popular, effervescent, and utterly charming prince in all the kingdom, Nick Revere. And Josh knew it was too much to hope that Nick Revere ever loving him back, much less noticing him, but maybe, he thought, just maybe since his fairy-god-cousin compelled him to the ball, he might catch a glimpse of Nick Revere, and maybe in turn Nick Revere would look down from his pedestal and notice him back. Maybe someday was today. But unlike all the other fairy tales, Josh was privy to a very harsh and real truth.

Under all the stylish new clothes he was sporting courtesy of his fairy-god-cousin, Amy, Josh just knew that he was a quiet mousy little fraud, trying to be something he wasn’t. And even deeper beyond that quiet mousy little exterior, Josh knew that he was nothing but a worthless little faggot, and on some level, everyone else in the kingdom knew it too and they would all just look down on him with disgust. And even if Nick Revere was aware of his meager existence he was too good and pure to soil himself with trash like Josh. Despite this knowledge, Josh still allowed himself hope. Maybe he had a chance for bliss. Maybe they would chance a meet. Maybe they would finally share that first magical kiss. And maybe Josh would find true love that would last for happily ever after, because he deserves a happily ever after, right?

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This figment was what kept me occupied as I wandered through swarms of people I didn’t know who were having a good time or drunk enough to fake it. I wasn’t looking for Nick Revere; not even keeping my eyes up should he happen to spare me a stray glance. In fact, my encounter with Mike gave me just the boost of confidence I needed to delude myself into thinking I could engage any random stranger in a successful conversation and not have them think I was gay. However I chose to listen to the rational side of my brain and not risk engaging anyone without Amy’s supervision, so I was stuck staring at the ground while maneuvering around drunk rich kids until I could find her.

Fortunately, I wasn’t wandering long before an irate Amy caught up with me. She came at me from behind so I wasn’t prepared for the screeching that was suddenly in my ears.

“Where have you been? I’ve been looking for you since we got here and you ditched me!” She immediately followed by a sharp blow to my ribs. Spinning around and, I hoped, out of reach, I faced a soaked Amy. I’m sure she wanted to hit me more, but she was preoccupied helping a very drunk and much more wet Deidre stand.

“I’m sorry. I saw you talking to some people so I just kinda let you do your own thing.” I considered myself lucky to be outside her punching range.

“Those were people you know and they were asking about you but you had went ahead and ran scared as soon as we got here,” Amy countered threateningly, “I was only introducing myself because I knew you’d clamp up and not say anything much less be polite enough to make introductions.” I was completely unaware that I knew people other than my lunch buddies who would ask about me. “And while I was trying to track you down, I ran into this mess,” she ranted indicating a giddy Deidre, “who was wasted and pulled me into the pool.”

It was only then that I looked around and noticed that they were the only two people who were wet at this party, and the few people whose attention we distracted from their own important conversations regarded us with bemused expressions as if to say, “What were those idiots doing in the pool?” Twenty minutes into it and it was already the oddest pool party I’ve ever been to.

Before Amy could continue her tirade further, we were approached by a guy with long brown hair that fell into his eyes that I recognized from my freshman algebra class bringing a pair of towels. I think his name was Matt. Both Amy and Deidre brightened at he got closer. Amy rounded on me again quickly though.

“Thank God. Okay Josh, I’m going to make this very simple,” now she was just being intentionally condescending. “This is Mackenzie,” she said bluntly, “I’m not sure if you two have met, but he also goes to St. Clare’s and he is Dee’s new boyfriend and currently babysitter.” Deidre let out a gurgle then a giggle at this statement.

“Thank you, Mackenzie, for finding us towels; that was very chivalrous of you. My swimsuit wasn’t supposed to get wet,” Amy said sweetly and oxymoronically before turning back to me. “You will wait here with Mackenzie and Dee until I go dry off and cool off,” Amy said while indicating the deck chair I would apparently be using. “You will not go wandering off again. Now, you know I only do this because I love you.”

“What, the treating me like a five-year-old?” I snapped.

“Yes.” Amy said simply and rationally before turning on heel and walking away.

That left me in a wonderful spot, being baby-sat by a lush and someone I remember for being as talkative as I was freshman year. Several moments of completely awkward silence passed before Mackenzie chivalrously tried to save us.

“So,” he started.

“So,” I replied. Apparently I was getting good at the fine art of conversation.

“So you guys are Dee’s friends then?” Mackenzie asked, breaching the acceptable topic of inter-personal relationships.

“Yeah. Yeah, we are,” I replied validating his idiotically obvious statement.

“Oh my God, you guys!” Deidre interjected “I walk on my feet, like, all day. Maybe that’s why they’re not as pretty as my hands. They’re all… they’re all like big ‘cuz I walk on them.”

Mackenzie and I both just stared a t her for a moment. By this point, Deidre wasn’t the only drunk at the party. It was starting to pick up some and more people were starting to catch up to her level of intoxication. Looking around, the lushes were falling down and running into each other and getting themselves into all sorts of unsafe situations. Fortunately, the one drunk I had to watch was a stationary albeit talkative one.

I tried to salvage the conversation Mackenzie and I were having with a fascinating, “So, what math class do you have this year?”

“Calc honors with O’Donnell,” he answered, “you?”

“Pre-cal with Delaney,” I replied.

“Oh.”

“Yeah.” This was becoming excruciating. “So how long have you and Dee been dating?”

Before he could answer, Deidre suddenly toppled over from what I thought to be a stable sitting position to sprawl all over Mackenzie. She shifted her body and tilted her head until they were eye to eye and blurted with a sigh, “I love you.’

As quickly as she tumbled over, Mackenzie jumped to his feet and was sitting her back up again. He flashed a quick glance in my direction and said, “Hey, can you watch her for a while, I’m going to go get her some water to help with the booze. You want anything?”

He didn’t really wait for me to answer before he bolted, leaving me alone with Dee. Deidre and I did hang out together now, but we weren’t really close. I was more the quiet observer in our little group of friends. So I suppose it was a good thing one of us was drunk, because I was sure she would keep me entertained.

“Looks like it’s just us then.”

“Uh-huh,” Dee was starting to lean on me now, “but it’s okay because, because I wanted to scare him away. I’m good at scaring away boys.” She started giggling.

“Hey, don’t worry about it. He’ll be back. He knows you’re not all there right now,” I said trying to be sympathetic.

“No, really. I wanted him gone right now,” Dee was leaning in ever closer and spraying spit a little as she whispered, “because I have a secret.” She almost passed out from the giggle fit she had at this thought, but managed to continue, “do you want to know what it is?”

“Oh, I’m just dying to know now,” I said trying to humor her.

“You’re so gay.”

I blanched a little, but I thought I misheard her. Or she must have confused her words. She couldn’t know. Could she? “I’m sorry what did you say?” How could she know? Did she figure it out; was I being that obvious?

Deidre stopped giggling now and I was far from laughing. “Dude, you’re hella gay. And you know what else,” she asked as I forgot to breath, “you’d be a really cute couple with that Nick kid. You know? Kenzie’s friend? He’s really cute.”

“I… I…” I stuttered. That hit me like a truck. She knew I was gay. And somehow she knew who I had a crush on. And she was being so bold as to suggest that I might actually have a chance with him. I didn’t know whether to hug her or shake her. I couldn’t decide if I should first make her swear not to tell anyone or ask if liquor somehow gave her the uncanny power to tell the future. Or present. Before I could say anything at all though, Deidre had passed out and was snoring soundly on my shoulder. I was more than a little freaked out.

By now a slightly calmer Mackenzie was returning with three bottles of water. But he didn’t need the third because it was my turn to jump up and run away as soon as he was in sight. I didn’t care how mad Amy would be at that moment, she could find me later and Mackenzie could drunk-sit his own damn girlfriend, but he still shot me a look of concern as I leapt up and strode quickly away. Right now, I just had to get far away and figure this out. I had to make sure she didn’t tell anyone. But right now she was drunk and passed out so I would be safe for a few minutes. But if she did tell anyone it might start a rumor. But I could deal with that later.

My train of thought was derailed as I collided with someone who was standing still. Granted I wasn’t watching where I was going but I had good reason not to. Everyone else should have been paying enough attention to stay out of my way.

“Ow, shit.” I froze. “Hey you okay man?” That voice. If it was at all possible I went even paler, but this time I couldn’t put together a coherent thought. “You really should be more careful around the pool. You don’t want to fall in.”

“Uh-huh,” I said, torn between wanting to sink into the ground and die or look up and just let the drool all out. As it was, I sat motionless on the ground.

“Here let me help you up.” He sighed as he said it and I could practically feel his warm, gentle breath smooth over my skin. But he stuck out his hand, and although I wanted nothing more than to just stay on the ground and kiss it respectfully, I grabbed it and he pulled me to my feet with a firm, yet supple grip. It seemed effortless for him to lift all of my hundred-thirty pounds off the ground with one hand, but maybe it was because I was floating.

Had I been breathing, I would have stopped again, because now I was standing with my face five inches away from Nick Revere’s. There he was, gorgeous as ever, a slight look of concern darkening his golden features. I barely registered the other people there, the people he was talking to before I so rudely knocked him to the ground. They were a handful of the more popular guys and girls in school who I never took the time to distinguish from one another, and that guy Mike I was talking to earlier. And while he shared Nick Revere’s visage of concern, everyone else regarded me with looks of boredom, amusement, annoyance, or any combination of the three.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Nick Revere’s hand on my shoulder snapped me back to what really mattered: the fact that his torso was naked. All he was wearing on his upper body was the coin choker that he never removed. Other than that there was no obstruction to his toned yet not overly-muscled body. If the ancient Greeks had wanted to sculpt the perfect cross of agility and strength, they would have used this body as a model. I was hypnotized by the way the light created shadows on his six pack.

He laughed. “Yeah, you’re fine. Just a little dazed, nothing a few more beers won’t fix,” he declared. Now I noticed the usual sparkle in his eyes was clouded a little. He was drunk, too. But in a moment, his eyes lit up in recognition, regaining their usual fire. This was it. This was the moment. He knew who I was. He was going to take me away from this place and we would walk through the redwoods and he would strongly, not shyly, declare that I was the one for him. “Hey, you’re that guy from my English class. Whosit? Ah, don’t tell me. Jack, right?”

“Huh.” I was still unable to form words. That was a buildup and a letdown. At least he knew me from somewhere. At least he didn’t notice how hard I was staring. By now the rest of his group had slipped back into their previous conversation something about school. So he continued to talk to me.

He started heavily patting my shoulder. “Man it’s good to see a familiar face. I’ve just been hanging with these guys all night because I don’t know half the people here and it’s my own goddamn party.” The skin-to-skin contact left my shoulder burning. Or maybe it was because of how hard he was hitting it. “Who do you have for English this year, Jack?”

I managed another grunting noise, because my voice caught in my throat. I was quickly spiraling into depression. The love of my life didn’t know my name, and he was making the most banal of small talk out of politeness. I’m sure if he had his way he’d be talking to someone more interesting and attractive. I pinched the back of my hand to make sure this wasn’t all a bad dream. But before I could give a correct verbal reply, there was a soft and gentle voice.

“Josh.”

“Excuse me?” Nick Revere spun around at that.

“His name is Josh.” It was that Mike kid coming to my rescue. Suddenly I was getting defensive. If Nick Revere wanted to call me Jack then he sure as hell could. I’d go get a name change just so I wouldn’t have to inconvenience him again. And here was this intruder not only correcting him, but also stealing his attention back.

“Dude, really? He’s not Jack?” Nick Revere turned fully around to talk to his friends again. I just edged away. I couldn’t help feeling like a total loser.

As I walked toward the house, weaving through progressively drunker kids, I ran into Amy. And as promised she was ready to kick my ass.

“I told you not to move,” she said biding her anger. But it all dissipated with the look I gave her.

“Can we just go?” I must have looked worse than I thought, because she nodded silently and we walked back to my car. The drive home was equally silent. Amy probed a little at first but I made it completely clear I didn’t want to discuss anything, and she respected that. I had a lot to sort out in my head.

Deidre may or may not have known I was gay. And depending on her consciousness and inebriation, she may or may not have told people from my high school that I was gay. And she may have also told them that I’m in love with Nick Revere, who doesn’t even know my name but remembers me as Jack from English class at least. My life was a suck-fest right now. My afternoon had been so busy I didn’t notice my phone had rung and I had a new voice-mail. Whatever it was could wait until tomorrow. I dropped Amy off at home where she said her goodbyes and made the short commute back to my house where I curled up under my bed covers despite it still technically being afternoon and eventually fell asleep. It was one of those days that I needed it. Before I passed out I said a little prayer to anyone who would listen for a better day tomorrow. At least I had accomplished being able to talk to people that day, even though I couldn’t even form real words around Nick Revere.

That night I dreamed of sheep on grassy hills and a castle amongst redwood trees and gigantic ugly feet. I woke up at around five in the morning and couldn’t get back to sleep. That was probably due to the fact that I had just finished sleeping twelve hours. I went ahead and checked my voicemail. It was from one of the countless stores I had submitted an application to in the mall finally calling me back to do an interview. They wanted to know if I was available tomorrow, which was now technically today. At least I had that to look forward to.

I raided my closet for something professional to wear, then laid it out and poured myself a bowl of cereal. I had six hours to kill before the mall opened and I could return their call and ask when I should come in to interview. I turned on the television and started watching early early Sunday morning cartoons. Really I was just a big kid at heart. However, Captain Planet just wasn’t as entertaining as he used to be.

By nine my parents left for Church and then went off to brunch with friends. I never had to go anymore since they decided that I could make my own beliefs when I turned sixteen. They only strongly encouraged my attendance and my mom called me “heathen” every so often under her breath. By ten I was pretty burned out from watching TV all morning and still just counting the commercial breaks until I could go get myself a job. There was a knock at the door just as Popeye was coming on.

When I opened the door, sunlight flooded the entry filtering in around, of all people, Nick Revere.

“Oh hey,” he seemed a lot more sheepish now than he did yesterday. “I wasn’t sure if anyone would be home or awake.”

“No I’m here.” Maybe it was because I was so burned from watching five hours of cartoons or maybe it was because he was less of a deity in my eyes, but for some reason I somehow was now able to talk to Nick Revere. Granted I was still a little boorish. “Would you like to come in,” I asked, remembering my manners.

He only took a step into the threshold. “You dropped this when you bumped into me yesterday,” he said, extending my wallet, “it must have fallen out of your shorts.”

“Wow, thanks,” was all I could say. Still not doing so well on the whole talking thing but at least I could string words into phrases. “I didn’t even notice it was gone. But you didn’t have to drive all the way out here for that.” Who was I kidding? As if I would ever go back to his house without being dragged.

“Yeah well I didn’t really know how far it was. I got your address off your license. I would have called ahead but I don’t have your number. I’m actually on my way to water polo practice.” He was blushing cutely now. That would be my ruin.

“Dude, this is sort of a long detour away from school,” I managed a small smile.

He grinned back despite still having a blush twinge his cheeks. It was really quite an endearing look for him. “Well,” he said in reply, “I figured you would probably need your wallet, and besides, I felt bad about yesterday, getting your name wrong and then scaring you away from the party.”

“Oh no worries,” I said, my heart melting, “I just left because I had to take my cousin home. She wasn’t feeling well.” Apparently I had developed the skill of fibbing to make him feel less guilty.

“Cool,” he said, his grin growing wider, “well I gotta go, but I’ll see you at the next party, or else definitely at school. I hope your cousin feels better.” And with that, he walked out the door, down the steps, and back onto his pedestal. That was the last I’d be seeing of him for a while, I thought. But he turned back around for a final wave and a slow deliberate, “Take care, Josh.” And then he was gone.

And I was left with a bright sunny day ahead of me, and the memory of a wonderful little conversation.
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To be continued