Fate

Title: Fate
Author: MakaiKitty
Rating: R/NC-17
Category: Original Fantasy
Warings: slash, m/m, sex
Distribution: My website, My LJ and any LJs I posted at, AFF.net, FicWad, and DeviantArt. If you\'d like to use it just let me know.
Status: Complete

Author\'s Note: Sorry for the length of this chapter. Not only am I posting as I go, but this was never written to have \'chapters\', it\'s just one long narritive with a few breaks in it for scene changes. So, as a result, this part came out really short. It didn\'t seem to fit in the previous chapter or in the next one, so it gets it\'s own post. Hope that\'s okay? Oh, and please continue to R/R, I love it!

\"Fate\"

Now you know how I\'ve ended up sharing a bed with Alexis for six months. I just never had the heart to kick him out after that first night. No, that\'s not quite right. It\'s not that I didn\'t want to be cruel, it\'s that I didn\'t want him to leave. I may say that I do, I tell him all the time that he can go back to his bed any time he wants, but when he says he wants to stay I never put up a fight.

\"Just stay on your side of the bed, okay?\"

\"Yes Master.\"

I know I\'m in trouble when he calls me Master. He doesn\'t say it out of obedience, or even out of habit anymore. No, I\'ve learned that when he starts calling me master it\'s because he\'s feeling playful. And when he\'s feeling playful I usually end up locked in the bathroom, just me and my right hand. It\'s almost become a routine. We get ready for bed. I tell him to stay on his side of the bed. He tells me that he will. Then, as soon as the lights go out, he somehow finds himself on my side of the bed. And his actions are never innocent. He may look like an angel, but I\'ve no doubt that he\'s as much a daemon as he says he is.

Although, I can\'t put all of the blame on him. It always takes me longer than it should to tell him to stop. I think he knows I don\'t really want him to stop either. I think he knows I\'m fast becoming addicted to those sugary sweet kisses of his. I think he knows that I spend the day thinking about the satiny softness of his skin under my fingertips. I think he knows that when I tell him to stay on his side that I don\'t really expect him to listen. That I\'m not only expecting, but looking forward to the moment he breaks his word and finds his way over to my side.

It was not just the nights that were testing my resolve either.

A few weeks into it I realized that I was wasting a very valuable asset. I decided that instead of picking his brain, which I had been doing up until then, that I should put my little daemon to better use. After that I started using him as a model for my art. Usually I just use those stupid little wooden figures to help me out, but I soon realized it was much more fun to have a real live model on hand. And Lexi didn\'t seem to mind either. Although, sometimes it\'s hard to do a serious scene when he won\'t stop laughing. I\'ve become pretty good at tuning him out though. He knows it makes me happy to see him laughing. Just wish he\'d not do it when I\'m trying to draw! Unfortunately for me it\'s also hard to work when I\'m constantly distracted by the beauty of my model. I secretly love repositioning him, running my hands over his supple body to move him. I think he\'s started to catch on. He never says anything, but I\'m pretty sure he has. Also, my art has started to take on a decidedly erotic tone that it didn\'t really have before. All because of him. Not that I\'m complaining. My fans aren\'t complaining either. Sales are up and I get letters all the time from new readers who love the \"realism\" of my daemons. If they only knew that I had a real daemon modeling for me!

None of this, however, is really my major problem right now. I wish it were. Although it was driving me nuts to have Alexis constantly tempting me, we both knew I was enjoying it. After a while I think it became more of a game. I wasn\'t going to give in because I\'d said that I wouldn\'t. He kept pushing it because he knew that I didn\'t really mean it when I told him to stop. I had started to believe that he wasn\'t just doing what he thought he was supposed to, that he really did want to be with me because it was what he wanted. I was so close to giving in. I was almost ready to say I give up, you win. Then he stopped.

Just like that. One day about a month ago I started to notice that Alexis wasn\'t acting normally. I figured that he\'d just stopped to reconsider his tactics, and truthfully I was kind of looking forward to seeing what he\'d come up with next. I had hopped it would be something good. But it never came. I waited and waited, but nothing ever happened. Nothing.

When I first realized that he had stopped trying to seduce me it really hit my ego hard. I know that I had told him it would be best if we weren\'t together, and I know that I had told him to stop trying to entice me, but in reality I just wanted to give it some time. To make sure that neither of us would regret it. I had hopped that eventually he would be mine. He certainly tried hard enough. And then he just stops? At first I wondered if I had done something wrong. If maybe I\'d rejected him one too many times and had somehow hurt his feelings. I thought that maybe I was wrong about him knowing my true feelings and intentions, that he had finally taken my words to heart and was going to stop trying. I\'ve got to say that it wasn\'t a good feeling, thinking that he\'d given up on me. Or worse, that it hadn\'t been real in the first place. It hurt more than I\'d expected.

I tired to ask him about it, but he just denied everything. He insisted that everything was normal, that he wasn\'t acting any differently. But no matter what he said I knew it wasn\'t just my imagination. Then I started to notice that something was wrong.

\"Lexi, are you feeling okay?\"

At first it had just been his change in behavior. He didn\'t try to seduce me or entice me anymore. Alright. Maybe he\'d changed his mind. Then he didn\'t seem as energetic, as happy, as he usually did. Okay. Everyone\'s entitled to an off day. But then he started to look off too. He got paler than usual, his eyes didn\'t seem as bright, and he didn\'t seem to have any energy. I\'d gotten used to him bouncing around me all day, so full of energy it seemed unnatural, and it really started to worry me when he didn\'t seem that way anymore.

\"I\'m fine.\"

\"No. You\'re not fine. Something\'s wrong.\"

I\'d tried not to push the issue when his attitude towards me had changed. But this was different, and I needed answers.

\"If you already had an answer then why did you ask me in the first place?\"

\"No.\" I won\'t be distracted. This is too important. \"Don\'t get off the subject. I asked you what\'s wrong? You don\'t look well.\"

\"I told you, I\'m fine.\" He can\'t look at me when he says it, and that\'s how I know he\'s lying. He stays on his side, his back pressed close to me, but he won\'t move to look at me. Funny, even though he\'s stopped making advances he still presses his body as close to me as he can when he\'s asleep. I wonder if he\'s even aware of it himself?

\"And I told you that I know you\'re not fine. You can\'t look at me when you lie. You know that?\" He doesn\'t deny it. He can\'t. \"Look, if you\'re mad at me or something then that\'s okay. I\'m a big boy, I can handle it. But don\'t make yourself sick over it ...\"

Now he\'s looking at me. He\'s sitting up and is looking me directly in the eye. Wow. I\'d forgotten how gorgeous those ruby eyes of his are. He hasn\'t been looking me in the eye much these days.

\"I\'m not mad at you! Why would you think I was mad at you? I could never be mad at you.\"

\"Well, you could have fooled me. You\'ve gone from night to day lately.\" Before he could answer those accusations I pressed on. I\'m not sure I\'m ready to hear him confess that he\'s already tired of me. Bound to happen sooner or later, but still ... \"That\'s not the point though. I\'m worried about you, you just don\'t seem well lately.\"

\"I\'m not mad at you. Please believe me Shayne. Please.\"

No matter what\'s changed, I still can\'t deny him anything. How could I?

\"Yeah, sure. Sorry.\" He nearly had me distracted. Damn, he\'s good. \"Nice try, but you still haven\'t told me what\'s wrong with you.\"

\"I\'m fine, I\'m just tired. That\'s all. Promise.\" He\'s already pulling himself closer to me as he says this, and for the time being I\'m content to just put my arm around him and let him sleep. His warm weight is comforting to me, but his words haven\'t put me at ease at all. If anything, he\'s confirmed my suspicions. There\'s something very wrong. Question is, what is it? It\'s pretty obvious that Alexis won\'t tell me anything. Well, I think I may just know where I can get some answers. I only hope I can make the bastard talk.

TBC ...